A/n : Thank you everyone for your immense love and support...
Happy birthday Adi sir in advance...I don't know kl mai kuch special post kar payu ya nhi unke birthday pe Isliye mai aaj hi wish kar rahi hun...I wish you healthy and long life sir...Love you so Much my Abhi sir, please God keep him smiling always :)
Stranger : Hello dear...you have told absolutely right, depression is something which only they can understand who have went through this phase. You know , sometimes you will not believe by seeing someone that they are in depression they will always pretend to be happy, try to make your mood better..you will assume that that guys seems happy go lucky but their facade of being happy broke at night when they cry alone in darkness. All depressed people have different ways to deal with it. some people want to share the feelings with their friend or family but some want to keep their feelings inside. As, in your brother's friend case..he doesn't want to share his feeling. Dear , Try to consult with professional , cause it will only increase if it not get cure in time . you can help him by showing that you are always with him, he might not show you that your presence is affecting him but surely it will make a big impact on him, he will count you if he wants to share something. Make him believe that whatever the situation may be you are always with him. And one more thing try to not give your advice, he might not feel good..he might assume you are judging him or he might become frustrate with your advice. so Try to not give your advice. If at one point he opens up with you, you should not compare your grief with him...just give him time to open up and listen his every words, you can use "I can't imagine how hard that is to deal with. I know I can't make you feel better, but just remember you aren't alone."
Depressed people always felt hesitate to seek help and support, they will chose being isolated . Make them believe that seeking help from someone is not their weaknesses but strength.
You may feel anger sometimes by their behaviour cause mood swings is common in it..they can be happy a moment before but beccome angry another minute, they can yell at you and begged to leave them alone. It's Human emotions to feel Anger and you can't control it, so when you feel it you must remind yourself that you will not blurt out your frustration to them. This can only worse their condition and make them guilty for troubling you and they can become cold after that, your all labor will be waste. so be patient and calm when you are dealing with them. Medications, counseling can help them but it's very essential to have a person in their life whom they can trust and share their feelings without fearing of being judge . so be helpful toward your friend or relative who is suffering from it... it's a mental trauma not a common flue which can get cure by own... without family/ friend support it's difficult to overcome it. I hope I have proven useful for you... Take care of your friend dear and You should also take care of yourself... don't ignore yourself and you can feel overwhelm sometimes while dealing with him and on that condition take a short break for yourself by informing him that you will meet or contact soon. I m wishing for your friend speedy recovery. Best luck dear :)
Niharika : I m totally getting you dear, Well I have not told anyone but I have went through this phase and I can very well understand what it felt in that condition when you want to open up but you find no one worthy to share your feelings. Dear, in my view in that case consult with a potential therapist and take counseling, it can make you feel better...they will help you dear. And If you want, I m always here to listen you buddy ...and sometimes it really geels good to open up with stranger without a fear to being judge more than opening up with those who will not understand you and it can be a simple joke to them. Yeah for some morons " Depression " is nothing but a drama..so don't expect anything from them...I hope your all tension and worry vanish soon...Love you so much dear...tc :)
Guest : I'm sorry dear but can you tell me what's the connection between depression and age. A 5 year old can feel depressed also 80 years old. Let it be, I m major dear...so you can count on me to understand your feelings.
I will be Happy if my efforts will make you feel somewhat better through this story. Last but not least I m only an ex- patient of this disease not a potential therapist. so Try to seek medical attention ..Thank you ...God bless you all :)
Tarika was standing in front of mirror..her eyes were fixing on her reflection. she could clearly see red cruel marks on her cheek and strangely It was not making her hurt or angry that Abhijeet had slapped her but she was feeling please to know that he still genuinely cares for her and he still feels fear to lose her. This has given her great sooth to her injured heart. She touched her cheek softly and a slight smile appeared on her face remembering Abhijeet's word
Agar dubara apne mooh se aisi baate nikali na to mujhse bura koi nahi hoga
She recalled past three months and felt overwhelmed remembering how Abhijeet was dealing with her mood swings, her anger, her frustration, her unusual tantrums without complaining a word. she couldn't recall a single moment when he was not with her and giving her support in her break down , his words again rang through her ear which he always use to say after her break down..
Do you want to talk abou it ? I'm here when you're ready
He never pressurised her or force her to show her feelings during these days but remain standing like a mountain between her and darkness. She has ignored it firstly but now she was feeling indeed lucky to have Abhijeet with him ...if he was not with her..she would have done something stupid a long time before. Infant one day she has actually prepared herself mentally to end everything at once but ..
Tarika has emptied bottle of sleeping pills on her palm. She doesn't want to be the reason of her hurting her own blood ...so she has thought to end everything this night.
Tarika was going to take pills in her mouth but stopped hearing Abhijeet's murmuring in his sleep.." Tarika please mujhe chhorke mat jayo...Mai...mai tumhare bina akela ho jaunga... please don't leave me... please "
seems like Abhijeet was watching a bad dream..he was moving his head restlessly...his forehead was filled with sweats ...his incoherent words dipped in pain and fair...
Tarika felt a jerk in her body seeing him like this...she was feeling ashamed to even think to end her life..she was feeling a rock has been keep in her heart which was burdening her to even think of breaking her promise with Abhijeet that she will not leave him like his mother . she put all the pills back on bottle and lie down on bed..as Abhijeet sense her presence beside him...his murmuring became stop and he became calm again..Tarika stared at his face for eternity and she even not realised.. two drop of salty warer escape from her corner of eyes..she gripped Abhijeet's palm with her and taking it under her head , she drift in sleep.
Tarika came from her memory lane with door opening sound. she turned her face toward door and her sighs stopped for a second seeing Abhijeet's hand having white bandage. she rushed toward him and hold his hand tenderly ...she looked toward his face " kaise chot lagi ? "
Abhijeet remained silent staring on the floor..Tarika made him sit on bed and she move toward drawer ..she hurriedly took out First aid box from cabinet and sat beside him.
she opened the bandage which was tying hapazardly on his hand..and when she looked at the would her lungs came out in fear..there was several cuts on his hand...some where still bleeding profusely..being a Doctor she could clearly say that he has hurt himself..
Tarika felt her voice shivered in pain " Tumne khud ko kyun chot pahunchayi "
Abhijeet looked at the brutual finger print of his on her cheek and he tried to take his hand back" Kya kar rahe ho tum...deemag theek hai tumhara... kitna gehra jakhm hai..ab..abhi bhi khoon beh raha hai...jab tak mai first aid na kardu yahan se hiloge bhi nahi tum...samjhe ! "
Tarika swab cotton in dettol and applied it with care while holding his hand softly..Abhijeet flinched in pain...Tarika instantly blew air on wound " sorry sorry Abhi...kis baat ka itna gussa ata hai tumhe...aur koi tareeka nahi milta hai na tumhe gussa utarne ke liye...kya jaroorat thi khudko hurt ( she stopped abruptly looking at his face )
Abhijeet was having tears in his eyes..he was staring at Tarika with all love in his eyes...he was feeling overjoyed to hear her scolding...after a long time he has seen his Tarika and he was not getting how to describe his happiness...
" Ab..bhi "
Her words remain incomplete as Abhijeet pulled her in bone crushing hug..his tears were running down from his eyes while Tarika was looking immobile in her place. Abhijeet realised Tarika has not hug him back and get that she is not still not ready for any physical touch..so he aparted from hug and
He said in heavy tone " sorry wi mai "
Tarika asked removing the awkwardness between them " tumne mere sawal ka jawab nahi diya "
Abhijeet has really forgotten the Question by now and seeing the confuse glance of later..Tarika repeated in " kya jaroorat thi khud ko itne buri tarah se jakhm dene ki ? "
Abhijeet as usual going to sue her as he didn't like to explain himself in these matter but Doctor words rang in his ear
Abhijeet kosis kijiyega ki aap unke har sawal ka jawab de...kyunki jab tak aap unke samne free nahi honge apne feelings ke saath...to wo bhi hesitate karengi aapko kuch bhi batane se ...so try to be frank with your feelings
Abhijeet spoke in guilty tone " mai jab yahan se nikla to mujhe realise hua ki maine kitna galat kiya tumpe haath uthake...mujhe tumse pyar se deal...(he bite his lip ) mujhe bahut gussa aa raha tha apne par...( his voice became whisper ) isliye sara gussa maine
Tarika felt loss of words, she shivered in pleasure knowing how much he cared for her that he couldn't even endure a little scratch on her body. she pushed back her tears which forms in her orbs and didn't felt courage after that to look at his face knowing that his intense stare was upon her...she Bandage his hand neatly this time and forward pain killer to him " ye khalo..ise dard kam jo jaega "
But something clicked on her mind and said worriedly " tumne to kuch nahi khaya hai...khali pet me pain killer lena health pe bura asar dalega "
Abhijeet was feeling interanally sooth seeing her concern..he said in fresh tone " don't worry mai kuch kha leta hun jake aur tumhare liye bhi kuch le ata hun ..tumne bhi to kuch nahi khaya hai na "
Abhijeet waited for her reply but found her again lost in outside view of window..he felt a surreal pain his heart but he soon composed himself and went downstairs.
Foursquare , Abhirika and Dareya were sitting on Loung...Trio were trying their best to engage Tarika in conversation.. though she was answering monosyllabic but it was a relief for them as she was listening and enjoying their chat after a long time..
Daya spoke " Aaj ka mausam kitna accha hai na...bilkul bahar ghoomne wala "
" Daya aapne meri mooh ki baat cheen li "
" Haan to fir theek hai na...hum sab chalte hai pass wale park me.. aur waise bhi kitne dino baad tumdono ko saath me chhuti mili hai " Abhijeet spoke
Shreya in excitement " ye to bahut accha idea hai Bhaiya ... chalo fir sab taiyar ho jate hai "
Tarika said in weak smile " aaplog jao mera man nahi hai...waise bhi mujhe neend aa rahi hai ...( yawned ) mai sone ja rahi "
" Bilkul nahi Tarika...tum humare saath chalogi...tum already chaar ghante so chuki ho dophar me ab aur soyogi to Kumbhkaran ban jaegi " Daya said in serious tone
Abhijeet and shreya Chuckled but stopped seeing hard glare of Tarika upon them..
" unhe ghurne ki jaroorat nahi hai... chalo na yaar please...kitne din ho gye hum sabko ek saath bahar gaye..."
" Haan na Di please chalo na " Shreya said with pout
Tarika replied in irritation " tumlog kyun jid "
Abhijeet cut her with soft smile " Tarika ab ye dono itni jid kar rahe hai to maan jayo na yaar "
Tarika got up in anger and yelled " aaplogo ko ek baar me baat kyun nahi samajh ati...mujhe nahi jana...matlab nahi jana !!!!!!
She stormed out from there leaving trio in stunned phase... they were habitual of soft spoken loving Tarika not this..they felt hurt
Abhijeet said finding his voice " mai ...mai dekhta hun "
Abhijeet kept hand on her shoulder" Tarika "
Tarika said in anger filled teary tone " mujhe abhi koi baat nahi karni Abhijeet... (in broken tone )please mujhe kuch der ke liye akela chhor do..
Abhijeet replied in calm tone " tumhe khudko guilty feel karne ki jaroorat nahi hai...Daya aur shreya tumhare apne hai...wo samajhte hai tumhe.."
Tarika looked at him surprisingly..how did he come to know what she was feeling..Abhijeet smiled a bit seeing her surprised expression..she turned her face other side not able to meet his eyes
" sorry...hume jid nahi "
Tarika cut him " nahi please...tumlog to mera bhala hi chahte the ...maine hi overreact kar diya "
Abhijeet saw tears were flowing from her eyes in speed..he took her in side hug and rubbed her arm " It's ok baba...ho jata hai kabhi kabhi " his voice was so care-fiiled and soft as he is talking to a kid
Tarika kept her head on his shoulder " mujhe bahar jane se dar lagta hai Abhi...mai agar bahar gayi to sab mera majak uraenge...(she said feeling disgusted with herself ) mai kitni gandi dikhne lagi hun...aankh ke neeche bare bare dark circles...aur mere Baal wo bhi to kitne kam ho gaye...kitne dino se main parlor...mai bahut ugly ho gayi hun Abhi ...agar tum mujhe apne saath bahar le jayoge sab mere saath saath tumhara bhi majak uraenge "
Abhijeet asked in calm tone " bol liya ya aur kuch bolna hai "
Tarika looked at him tiredly...Abhijeet gently cupped her face and said gazing at her eyes as he is moving Inside her soul through her eyes " ab meri baat suno... koi kya sochta hai mujhe iss baat ki koi parwah nahi hai...tum mere liye duniya ki sabse khubsurat ladki thi, ho aur humesa rahegi...aur log kya sochte hai inse mujhe kabhi parwah nahi hua hai Tarika mere liye tum aur tumhari khusi sabse jada important hai aur koi Nahi...get that ? "
Tarika was just looking at his eyes, feeling numb to say anything..
Abhijeet asked in strong tone this gripping her shoulder " Do you get that Doctor Tarika...meri wife ko koi disgrace Kare ye mujhe bilkul pasand nahi...ye right maine kisiko bhi nahi diya hai...tumhe bhi nahi..."
Tarika Hugged him tightly feeling overwhelmed...this time her tears were not cause of her pain but happiness. Abhijeet squeezed her tight in hug and closed his eyes getting warmess from his love.
Tarika aparted from hug and said " aap Adi ko taiyar kar dijiye...mai change kar leti hun fir chalene saath me..
Abhijeet was looking at her with half open mouth..Tarika closed his mouth " aise kya dekh rahe hai...park nahi jana kya "
Abhijeet felt overjoyed he smiled brightly..seeing this a tiny smile came on Tarika's lip too making Abhijeet heart stirred...he was dancing interally seeing her smile.. oh gosh, how much he missed her beautiful curve formed in her lips and how much he wait to see his wife's beautiful smile... only he can tell that no one else !
In Doctor's clinic
Abhijeet in restless tone " Doctor, mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha hai...kuch din pahle tak sab theek tha fir pata nahi achanak se aisa kya hua jo Tarika wapas se zero pe chali gayi...(his eyes became teary ) mujhe to yakeen ho chala tha ki ab sab theek ho jaega...meri wife mujhe wapas mil jaegi par kl ke uske behaviour ne jakjhor ke rakh Diya mujhe "
Kalpana forward glass to him " aap ye lijiye pahle "
Abhijeet have some few sips " Thanks "
Kalpana asked " ab jo hua wo mujhe saaf saaf bataye "
Abhijeet said in heavy tone " jaise ki aapne hume kaha tha Tarika ghar se bahar niklegi to uska mood theek hoga to kuch dino se mai , usko aur Adi dono ko park le jata hun saamko ghumane ke liye ( Doctor nodded )...par jab humlog park se ghar aye to wo bilkul badli badli lag rahi thi..jaise wo depression ke initial phase me thi...humse Kati kati si..maine kitna baat karne ki kosis ki usse par usne mere baato ko ignore kar diya...aur jab mai uske liye khana leke Gaya tab usne mana kar diya aur jab maine jid kiya to pura plate uthake fek diya ... maine aaj tak use itna frustrate kabhi nahi dekha tha "
Kalpana thinks for a while and asked " kl kuch unusual hua tha kya park me ? "
Abhijeet nod his head in no " jahan tak mujhe yaad hai aisa kuch...(he stopped for a while as he remembered something , he said in gasping tone ) kl park me ek couple aye the apne twins ke saath...Do you mean she has still not recovered from our Daughter's loss...instead of passing five months..
Kalpana smiled sadly " kisi bhi Maa ke liye apne bacche ki maut ko bhulana asan nahi hota Abhijeet...humare counseling ke dauran maine kai baar unse iss bare me baat karne ki kosis ki par wo har baar baat tal deti thi...fir bhi hum unhe kai sari aise maao se interact karwaya jinhone apne bacche ko khoya hai...iss hope me ki wo ek din tootegi par ...(she sighed ) wo dusre maao ki kahani sunti thi...unke dard ko samajhti thi...par uske aankh me ek ansoo bhi nhi ata tha Abhijeet...kya aapne kabhi unse Aanya ke bare me baat ki hai ? "
Abhijeet felt lump in his throat " I tried to ignore this topic as i Felt it will only scratch her wound...
Kalpana " it's very wrong... infact we should ask to mother " is she Missing her baby...what is she feeling after her baby loss ..but sab ye sochke chup reh jate hai ki aisa karne se dukh barhega jo ki bilkul galat hai...aapko pata hai jab Maa ke samne uske bacche ke naam navlene se usse ye ehsaas hota hai ki sab uski bacchi ko bhool gaye...kisiko bhi uske jane ka koi dukh nahi hai...( Abhijeet tried to refuse ) I know aisa nahi hai...par kya aapne kabhi unhe bataya ki aapko bhi Aanya ke jane ka utna hi dukh hai...aap bhi apni beti ko utna hi miss karte hai ( Abhijeet closed his eyes in guilt and pain )
" she doesn't want to let go her pain ... because she thought if she let her grief go it's mean she will let her daughter go again ...she want to keep her baby alive from her pain...she doesn't want to lose her daughter again "
Seeing Abhijeet mum she added " I think now you know.. what's your next step ? "
Abhijeet inhaled deep breath and said firmly " Yes I Do "
" I hope next session will be last session with Tarika "
" I will try my best to fulfill it "
" Best of luck "
" Thank you Doctor "
They both shook hand with a formal smile and Abhijeet left from there..
" Hello Abhijeet...kaise ho beta aur Tarika ka prog "
Abhijeet cut him with heavy tone " I am sorry sir "
" sorry ? "
Abhijeet said in anger -filled-tears" Aapko kya lagta hai aap mujhe Nahi bataenge to mujhe pata nahi chalega wahan kya hua hai "
" Abhijeet saant ho jayo beta aur rona band karo pahle tum "
Abhijeet wiped his tears stubbornly and said in kiddish tone " mai nahi ro raha ...( Acp sir Chuckled on his son's antics . Abhijeet added in guilty tone ) aur kaise saant ho jayu sir...meri wajah se aapko uss chittrole ne kitna kuch sunaya...( in anger ) uski himmat kaise hui aapki insult karne ke...aur aapne uski bakwas bate suni hi kyun ...usne mujhe bureau se nikalne ki dhamki di thi na to use nikal lene dete...(in tears ) Meri duty aapke prestige se Jada jaroori nahi hai !
Acp sir listened everything with a silent smile " par mere liye tumhara bureau me hona bahut mayne rakhta hai Abhijeet...mai Mumbai ka next Acp tumhe bante hue dekhna chahta hun beta...ye har ek baap ka sapna hota hai uski Umar hone ke baad sari jimmedari uske bete sambhale aur mai janta hun mere dono beta apne pita ki sari jimmedari nibhaenge ...mai us pal ka besabri se intejar kar raha hun Abhijeet jab mai tumhe apni sari jimmedari dekar Sukoon mehsoos karunga "
Abhijeet in restless tone " sir aap aisi baate kyun kar rahe hai...aap kahi nahi jaenge CID se... Mai koi Acp waicp nahi banunga mujhe humesa aapke under hi kaam karna hai bas
!
Acp sir laughed on his elder son's childishness " Abhijeet sabko ek din apni duty se retire hona hi parta hai...aur bhai tum kya mujhe apne poto ke saath khelne ka mauka nahi doge kya...ab bas bahut sare criminals pakar liye mai...ab mujhe apna sara samay apne dono bete aur apne pariwar ke saath bitana hai "
Abhijeet in low tone " par sir mujhe aapke bina kuch nahi hoga...( he was feeling afraid ) sir mai kaise sambhalunga sabkuch aapke bina "
Acp sir sense fear in his voice so he said " mujhe apne bahadur sipahi pe pura bharosa hai wo sab sambhal lega...(feeling Abhijeet silence he Changed the topic with ) accha ye sab sochne ke liye abhi bahut time hai...par iss wakt tum apna sara dhyan Tarika pe do aur jaldi se meri beti ko theek karo tum...ab bahut seh liya bacchi ne !
Abhijeet said in lost tone " sahi kaha sir usne bahut seh liya ...( he composed himself ) par aap chinta mat kariye mai jaldi humsabki Tarika ko pahle jaisa kar dunga..bilkul hasti muskurati Tarika milegi sabko
Acp sir replied in soft smile " mujhe tumpe pura bharosa hai Abhijeet...accha chalo mai ab rakhta hun "
" jee sir... bye "
PRESENT
" aap log ?????? "
Abhijeet and Tarika smiled mischievously and asked " kaisa laga surprise ? "
Daya replied still in shocking tone " surprise kam jhtaka jada laga "
Abhirika laughed , while shreya asked covering her blush " Di, bhaiya... bataye na ! "
" jab tumlogo ne garage se bike nikali to mai pani lene bahar aya tha...maine tumdono ko bahar jate dekha to socha mai bhi Tarika jee ke saath ek ride le hi leta hun "
Tarika replied in cute naughty tone " waise sorry haan...tumdono ka oho oho wala moment kharab karne ke liye "
Dareya blushed furiously and wishes to burry under Earth...
Abhijeet said in tease " kya Tarika jee khama kha tang kar rahi hai humare pyare love birds ko "
Shreya and Daya whined " Bhaiyaaa / Abhi "
Daya looked at shreya Angrily " ye sab tumhari wajah se hua hai ...aur khayo do baje ice cream "
Shreya replied in burning tone "agar aap bina awaj kiye bike nikalte to inhe pata nahi chalta "
Daya teased " tumhari to kabhi koi galti hoti nahi na "
" Never...humdono me se jada samajhdar mai hun "
Daya looked around at deserted road " haan wo dikh raha hai ...(in teasing smile ) kitni samajhdari bhari hun dono me "
shreya with red angry face " Daya aap "
Abhijeet shouted " chupppp "
Dareya became quite at once.. Abhijeet said in bechara tone " kitna larte ho yaar tumdono ! "
Shreya pouted " Bhaiya mai nahi...( eyeing at Daya angrily ) ye aapke bhai ko hi bahut gussa ata hai aaj kl "
" Dekhi tum "
Abhijeet in strict tone " Maine bola na koi kuch nahi bolega "
" Abhijeet " Taria tried to say something
Abhijeet cut her in annoyed tone " kya hai...( then he hurriedly correct his tone , in extreme soft tone ) haan boliye na Tarika jee "
Tarika glared at him " Ice cream dilayo mujhe "
Daya added " Mujhe bhi...tumhari ladli behan ne kuch khane nahi diya mujhe "
shreya hit her foot on Daya's leg making Daya yelp in pain .." maar dala isneeeee "
Abhijeet and Tarika laughed out loud ,
" Abhi kitne gande ho gaye ho tum..pahle tum mere side rahte the aur ab isne tumhare bhai ka...(holding his leg ) pair tor diya...fir bhi ise dantne ke bajay tum hans rahe ho "
Abhijeet murmured " ghari ghari nautani Karta hai "
" Tarika mai ice cream leke ata hun...dekhna ye dono jhagre nahi dir se '
" Hum bacche hai kya " shreya asked
" usse bhi gaye gujre " Tarika replied in teasing tone
Dareya looked at each other and turned their head in other side with anger
Abhijeet gave Daya's favourite choclate flavour to Daya.. butterscotch to Tarika...chocochips to shreya and kulfi for himself.
Abhijeet eyes fall on his brother and a sweet smile appeared on his face seeing his mouth dipped in chocolate showing he was having Ice cream..." Dono baap beti ek hi jaise hai "
Daya asked through eyes " kya hua ? "
Abhijeet took out haney and signalled him to clean his mouth...Daya shyly removed choclates from mouth giving a huge laughing to his brother.
shreya and Tarika both turned theur face " kya hua ? "
Daya pleaded him to say no...
" kuch nahi hua "
Daya gave him his world's best smile which always pulled him through any situation whatever the situation is. His brother's smile is his strength and give him sooth too. A sweet smile errupted on his face seeing his brother's innocent filled smile.
End of the chapter :)
