Day 44¾ You know what's worse than May reading you the riot act…six people bellowing it all at the same time. Damn, I can't listen that fast or separate or combined or whatever the hell it is! Everybody was rambling on at the same time in two languages and three accents. I covered my ears just to make it stop. Whoa, big mistake. Yoyo thought it was just some bratty way to ignore all of them. I don't know what she said but it didn't sound good. "Si tu madre no te pega el culo hasta que se vuelva púrpura, definitivamente seré el primero en ser voluntario." I had her write it down for me so I could put it here. Of course that was after all the fireworks.
Finally, Coulson put up his hand and everyone stopped. He just looked at me with such mad eyes I wanted to crawl under the desk. He shook his head and made his lips real skinny. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on that desk. I wanted him to say something but he just kept lookin' at me with those mad eyes until I looked at the floor.
"I can't believe you would pull such a thing." Jemma said in her real angry voice. "I was sure you knew better than to…to…" I guess she didn't know what to call it.
I tried to tell her I had to eavesdrop on them cuz no one would let me in on what was going on. I tried to tell all of them but they weren't really listening much.
Mack shook his head and almost growled. "We trusted you Tremors, trusted you would trust us and this is what we get?" He shook his head again. "Agents don't pull this crap on one another. We thought you knew that."
Before I could say anything he just walked out and Yoyo followed him. She held up her palm and swung it like she was whacking something…or someone, gave May a nod and was gone.
I looked at Fitz. I could always count on him as an ally but he just looked at his feet and shook his head just a little. "You should have trusted us." It was Jemma, not Fitz that said it before they both went out the door.
Coulson stood up straight and looked at the floor without uncrossing his arms. "I taught you better." He didn't even look at me. "You disappointed all of us." He looked at the frozen picture of me sitting in the air duct then looked at May and nodded before he joined the others in the com room.
May closed the door…well almost closed it. She left a sliver of opening then turned and gave me the look and I knew exactly what was coming next. I held out my hand and said I was sorry and backed away and begged for her to wait and not here…not where the entire team was just outside and could hear everything. She didn't say a word, just plopped one of the chairs in the center of the room and grabbed my wrist. I begged again and pleaded but she just tugged me right over her knees.
"Fair is fair," she said so calmly I almost shivered but wriggled instead just to get away and run back to our bunk before she could carry through. But damn, I was trapped.
I tried so hard to stop what was going to happen. I told her the team was right outside the door and they'd hear everything, they'd know exactly what was happening. I didn't want them to know…to hear her and especially me cuz no matter how much I promised I would not wail over having my butt blasted it never mattered after the third swat.
"Only seems fair the team gets to hear what happens to a kid that sneaks around listening to what doesn't concern her." I could tell she was smiling and that made it so much worse. I wriggled more and earned a quick whack for it.
I asked what if one of them came it and she just said I'd earned exactly what I was going to get right before she relieved me of my very-soft-not-make-a-sound-sweat-pants. I didn't make it to three cuz I was bawling before the first swat met my unprotected butt.
It wasn't really that bad. The worst was I had to walk past all of them on my way back to my room. I couldn't even pick up my head and I am sure my face cheeks were twice as red as my butt cheeks. I think that was the plan.
I cried for a long time before I guess I fell asleep. When I woke up, Coulson was sitting in my room. He still looked…well kinda mad but mostly sad. He still didn't look at me all the way. I sat up and just watched him for a while. He was leaning his elbows on his knees and rubbing his hands together.
I tried to say I was sorry but he held up that one 'stop right there' finger and I swallowed every word. He said sorry wasn't enough and I'd really pushed the envelope this time. Then he said I really disappointed him and it was like I got stabbed. I almost couldn't breath. I couldn't even cry the cry I wanted to cry. Nothing ever hurt that bad.
He told me I was grounded for a whole week and I just nodded. I didn't even care. He could ground me till I grew back to myself and it wouldn't take the guilt away. He said he thought about having every air vent soldered closed but decided it would be up to me to regain everyone's trust by staying out of them or at least away from any place the team needed to use for strategy planning. I was pretty sure my chest was going to crack in half before he was done talking to me without looking at me. I just wanted to see his eyes and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I never cared about how anyone felt or treated me but this was Coulson. Everything about him mattered and if he…he was so disappointed he couldn't look at me I would never get past my guilt. I wished I never found those stupid damn air vents and wanted to take it all back and be the good kid he and May needed me to be.
Then it happened. The sob cracked right out of me and I couldn't stop crying. I was crying so much I couldn't talk even though I was trying to tell him how sorry I was and asking how I could fix it and please don't hate me and please…
He picked up his head and looked right at me and in a second I was hugging his neck and crying worse than any time May blasted my butt, even in the Fitzwork. He held me for a long time and didn't say anything and that was worse.
I wanted him to yell at me, to be really mad and I told him that. I told him he could tell me what a rotten kid I was and how much he wished I was like Skye. I said I wanted him to say he wished he could send me away…back to where I belonged. But he just hugged me.
I pushed back and looked right at him, at his still sad face. I told him he needed to give it to me real hard, worse than ever. I told him May had a hairbrush that would make good paddle and I'd get it and he could use it til he wasn't mad anymore but he just shook his head. I hooked my thumbs in my waistband to yank down my britches but he stopped me and said no. I even begged him to whack my ass so I could stop feeling so bad…so the guilt would just be gone but he smiled a real sad smile and shook his head. So I hugged him again and cried a lot more and kept saying please, please, please and telling him he had to do something and it was the only thing that would fix things til he turned me sideways and laid a whack across my butt that stung all the way to my eyelashes. Then he pulled me back into a hug and held me until I was cried out and sleeping again.
I don't ever want to feel like that again.
I don't ever want Coulson to feel like that again.
I hate still being a kid outside when I'm not a kid inside.
Day 51 I spent the whole week in my room, avoiding everyone. I did not complain or whine or beg for parole…not even once. I did my school work without moaning over being treated like a kid and finished every bit of homework before anyone reminded me. I ate every single brussel-sprout on my plate TWICE and went back to my room right after every meal without being told. I made my bed every morning and picked up all the clutter.
May talked to me every night when she still tucked me in even though I was sure she wouldn't. Stories were out so I didn't get to snuggle with Coulson and I figured he just didn't want to do it with me anymore, but he still came to say goodnight and always kissed me before he left the room. May sat on my bed and just talked about what happened during the day. She told me Jemma missed seeing me every morning and Fitz was bored since I wasn't trying to get through his firewalls. (I didn't know she knew about that.) I didn't really believe her because I was pretty sure they would never speak to me again and I was not sure I wanted to cross paths with Yoyo. I wasn't even sure I wanted to ever leave my room again while I was still three foot eleven…damn not even four feet tall. May must have known because she talked to me about getting back into a normal…ha ha ha…rhythm. She told me it was over…done…in the past and that the team knew I'd been punished. It was time to move on.
Coulson came last night and sat on my bed. He told me pretty much the same thing. He said it was done and we were good. He looked at me and smiled his real smile. He said he really never wanted to do what happened again and I said me either. Then he said that even if he was mad or disappointed or upset he still loved me just as much as always. He said nothing I could do or ever did would make that different. He said he would never, ever send me away or back or anywhere he couldn't find me. He said he knew I was really upset about being a little kid but he would take care of me as long as it took for me to be me again but that I had to let him.
I just cried again and he just hugged me again and kissed my head and told me tomorrow everything would be okay. I heard May come in and she didn't even tell him to put me back in bed. I just fell asleep in his hug and that is the very bestest place to be.
Day 53 I spent all day yesterday testing the waters. Jemma really smiled when I showed up to be weighed and measured. She even said she missed me. Of course I didn't grow and I lost almost two pounds but I didn't eat much the last week. She hugged me too. She said she was glad things were (ha ha) normal again. She even let me help her collect some supplies and store them, alphabetically of course. I thought maybe Fitz was avoiding me but she told me he was with Mack working on a problem with the Zephyr's cloaking device. Then she asked me if I would have lunch with both of them…her and Fitz. She said he missed me too and talked about me every day. I think it was the first time I smiled since the whole dumb thing started.
Then I ran, actually ran, right into Yoyo when I was going to make sure May knew where I'd be at lunch time. Yeah, new deal, I had to check in and let her know wherever I would be if it wasn't with her. I figured it wouldn't last long so it wasn't such a bad price to pay. She grabbed my shoulders and just held me there. I just looked at the floor and waited for her to start yelling all in Spanish that I wouldn't understand but would know it was not good. But she actually laughed and said, 'dónde está el fuego, chiquita?'
I didn't tell any of the team I was taking Spanish in my cyber learning and I knew what she said. I told her there was no fire and I needed to find May so I could tell her about lunch. She laughed again and threw out her arm for me to pass.
Everyone came to the commissary for lunch and we just talked and laughed like always.
I guess Coulson and May were right. It was done and over and we were all good again. I wasn't really ready for that because when I screwed up big I just got sent away and never got to see what happened or how people go over things. I just figured they hated me forever.
May said families don't do that. Coulson said they forgive and just kept going. I guess we don't forget cuz that might mean I'd be stupid enough to do it again.
NO WAY
Day 56 I'd been good for days, no problems. Did everything I was told and even some things I wasn't. It was now or never. No one had left the base so I was pretty sure they still had no set plan on getting into Hale's base…but I did. I had the perfect plan and all I had to do was get them to listen and take me seriously.
First I had to get them all in the same place so I asked if we could all have lunch together again. I was surprised when they all agreed. So after a great meal of Yoyo's special tacos and burritos I tapped my glass with my fork and stood up. When they all looked at me I told them I had a plan and if they just listened they'd see it was a pretty good plan.
At first they just smiled and even laughed little laughs. I took a big breath and reminded them about the discussion I overheard. All the smiles were gone and May stood up and I was sure she was gonna pull me right out of there. I had to talk fast so I ran through the plan really fast and everyone just looked at me with big eyes and open mouths.
May said absolutely not. Coulson shook his head and said no way in hell would he even consider it. Yoyo said something in Spanish I probably shouldn't repeat and Mack just rubbed his hand on his little beard. Jemma thought I was kidding but Fitz, my best bud Fitz he said it could actually work…with a little tweaking. He actually agreed that I was their best secret weapon. But Coulson and May would never agree.
It was a simple plan. Who would suspect a kid? All I had to do was get in, pop a bug into their main computer and get out. I was a kid. I was curious. I was innocent. What could go wrong…right?
Day 60 It took four days to convince both of them that I knew what I was doing and it was mostly a foolproof plan. Then eventually they kinda realized it was the best plan…a little risky but so is everything else we do and besides I wasn't really a kid. I was just really short and well…kinda cute. Cuteness can be an asset and hell, it worked for me a lot when I really was a kid…well, sometimes. Sr. Daniel never fell for it.
Day 67 There were a lot of bugs to work out and they drilled me over and over about what I could do and mostly about what was absolutely forbidden. My cover was to just be a kid. Brilliant, they'd never expect that. HA HA HA! I wasn't scared…much. I've done this before so it was no big deal, except people didn't look so big all the time…even the short ones. I mean Simmons towered over me and Mack, well he looked like a giant! I never met Hale so I didn't have any idea just how big she'd seem and hell, she could have a whole bunch of mammoth body guards or soldiers or whatever they were.
I spent hours studying the layout of the place and all around it. Mack showed me some aerial surveillance where the fence was just loose enough for me to squeeze through. We practiced what to say and how to say it. May played the part of Hale and busted my butt ten times before I got it right…perfectly right. Plan B was to have Davis play my dad who'd come looking for me if I didn't get in and out in the specified amount of time. No heroics, no going off plan, and absolutely no doing anything stupid which was about a twenty page list that got bigger every time we practiced.
Day 68 So finally this morning I got to strap in on the Quinjet for real and take off with May and Davis. They figured the less amount of personnel the better chance we had. So the jet landed out of sight and with new and improved cloaking. I got a brand new bike, courtesy of Mack and an ear com that fit perfectly courtesy of Fitz. May kept running through the plan and flicked my ear when she knew I wasn't listening. She made me repeat it about two hundred times before we touched down.
The first part went great. All I had to do was ride that bike up to the rickety part of the fence and just sit there for a bit before wriggling under that crummy thing. Apparently somebody fixed it while the team was pounding the plan…my plan…into my head. Okay so I tore my pants and got a good cut that Jemma would be fussing over forever. It didn't bleed too much but I could feel it tickling down the back of my leg. I limped a little but kept moving forward until some big jerk grabbed me by the arm and threatened to throw me over the fence. I thought he was serious until someone talked to him over his walkie and told him to take me to HALE! Success…
I remembered my part and struggled, kicked him and called him some of my best off color words even though I knew May was listening, but hell they told me to make it look real, like what'd I really do. So I gave the big lug a hard time until he tossed me into a chair in some dingy office. That's when she came in all smiles and dripping with that honey kinda talk people use with kids when they don't really mean a word they say. She called me sweetie and asked if I was lost.
I stuck right to the plan. Nope not lost. I was there on purpose cuz a bunch of dumb boys dared me to get in. They said the place was haunted and bet I would be too scared so I had to show them. I didn't know there were people there. I asked if she was a policeman, just to look really dopey. She asked where the other kids were and I said they took off cuz they were the scared jerks, not me. She laughed and said she liked my chutzpah. I pretended I didn't know what that meant so she said it was a good thing. I told her I was sorry for gettin' in her place and told her I needed to get home before my dad came looking for me. She just smiled and told me everything would be okay. Then she had that big dope take me to a little room with just a table and a chair…and a big air vent screen.
Being a kid means I'm not real strong but mini quaking those screws out was a no brainer and hell, the team…especially May couldn't see me. It kinda made my fingers achy but it worked then that Hale lady came back and told me she couldn't find any other kids anywhere outside. I told her again that they all ran or rode away when I got to the fence then I started to cry cuz I can turn on those water works in a snap. I wailed that I wanted my mom and I needed to go home. I don't think she cared because she just walked out. I got in the vent and crawled around til I found the communications room. There was one guy in there and he was wearing headphones and pretty into whatever the hell he was doing so I just popped out the screws on the really small vent and squeezed out. I pulled out the USB drive and slid into a port in the back of their mainframe. I figured I just tiptoe out and find the nearest exit but the guy got up when some kind of alarm went off. He just looked at me like he'd never seen a kid before and screamed, yeah screamed like some lady who saw a mouse. "What are you doing in here?" I told him I needed a bathroom and got lost. He tried to grab me but I got into the hall and wow all hell broke loose.
There were guards everywhere.
But being three foot eleven was a bonus. They couldn't get me. I just weaved through them and under them and between their legs until I was racing down a hall that I hope really ended in an exit.
It didn't. It dead ended.
May was telling me not to panic reminding me to stick to the plan that was totally shot to hell and I just wanted out before I disappeared and ended up on one of those have you see this kid never to be seen again posters. I didn't even want to think about the perverts these creeps could sell me too and that was if they did spend the next twenty years convincing me I was 'happy to comply'. Nope that was not going to happen.
So I just did what came naturally. I flung out my hand and felt ever fiber of my ability flow through it. The wall just blew into rubble and dust…and the pain in my arm felt like I dunked it in lava. The last thing I remember was Davis running toward me and never being so happy to see him.
And then everything went black.
