Day 80 – well really very early morning 80 The light on this little cart thing was crummy, kinda like one of those little bitty flashlights. It just put a little stream of light in the black and that made it look even creepier. I kept thinking about all those movies Fitz-Simmons and I used to watch and thinking some kind of weirdo was gonna just grab me right out of the little car. It was kind of like those little putt-putt cars little kids drive around their backyards. Boy, when I get out of this I'm gonna have a long talk with Fitz about upgrading these dumb things… But, I'm not gonna see Fitz again so he'll have to figure it out himself. The hum the thing made was creepy the more I had to listen to it. Sounds like some big cat purring or growling real low. I finally made to the big door and it's a good think somebody painted a big yellow arrow on it or I would have smashed right into it. I stopped the car and hoped it wasn't locked cuz I had no idea how to unlock it and I was pretty sure that scanner thing wouldn't recognize my hand. I'm sure they made sure it wouldn't so I couldn't just get out of their sight for ten damn minutes. I yanked it first but nothing happened, so I pushed it and it gave a little. Damn thing was heavy as a frigerator and pushing with one hand was not easy so I used my whole right side and got it open enough to just squeeze through. My everything hurt for minute so I just stopped and waited for it to stop.
The warehouse had windows and a skylight so the light from outside showed in. It was just moon light and probably some streetlight or something but it was enough to let my eyes get used to it and I could see the boxes and stuff in the place. I remembered me and Yoyo had to walk all the way across it and then around a bunch of big crates to get to the door. I tried to shove the big door closed but it wouldn't budge and I wasn't gonna hurt my side again so I just started walking and hoping I wouldn't get lost in this big maze.
After about ten minutes I was pretty sure I was going in circles. There was this big brown splashy kinda stain on the floor that I didn't want to think looked like blood but it did and I walked over it about five times. So either I was really mixed up or somebody had a creepy sense of humor. I stepped on it again and decided to back up and try going down the last passage way.
That's when I bumped into him… I didn't know it was a him at first and I hoped maybe it was Davis already looking for me but when I turned around I knew he never wore those kinda work guy pants and dirty work boots like a nasty foster father wore a long time ago. I looked all the way up at him and knew this guy could not be an agent…nobody looked like that. Then he said, 'you lost, kid?' and I just swallowed cuz my voice was just more lost than me.
I was pretty sure he was one of those guys your mom tells you to never talk to and to run away if they ever even look at you. I don't think he ever combed the wild hair that stuck out on both sides of his head but didn't look like there was any on top. He had on a grubby denim shirt with big stains like he never heard of a napkin all over it. But there were buttons missing and I could see the really clean T-shirt underneath. It almost glowed in the moon light. His baggy jeans really proved he never used a napkin cuz he definitely wiped his hands there all the time. I took a step back cuz…well…yuck! He was chewing on a toothpick and his face was all bristly like he was trying to grow a beard but wasn't really sure. And his hands looked like he just changed the oil on…fifty cars.
He shook his head when he looked at me and took a big breath then he said 'come on' and started walking away. I did not and was not going to follow him but I was just frozen stuck right there watching as he walked real slow then stopped and just looked at me with his bushy eyebrows up close to his no hair head. He brushed his hand like he was telling me to go ahead then he just waited and put his arms over his chest.
He said, 'guess you could just stand there or roam around this place til the sun comes up but if you wanna get to the door you're gonna have to come with me…" Then he just waited…again. So I took a big breath, nodded and took a step. He waited til I got closer then started walking again and I followed but stayed far enough away that he couldn't touch me.
We walked for a while around the place and I didn't see the stain again so I figured we weren't going round and round but I wasn't real sure he was gonna show me how to get out until I saw the door. There was a little light bulb over it. I remember the janitor at St. Agnes called it a bug light. It only showed right at the door. I started right for it but he said, 'hold on there kid, wait a minute before you go out there in the dark…'
I just looked at him and then at the door and told him I had to go. He smiled and said there really wasn't a lot to do in River's End this time of night unless I was off to the 24 hour convenient store but that was about a five mile hike. Then he flipped one of the crates over and pointed at it like I should sit down. I didn't move until he walked about ten feet away and sat down on a different crate.
He said I looked like I was traveling light and wondered if maybe I'd like something to eat or drink before I took off. I shook my head and just looked at the door wondering if I could get there before he could catch me. He put a big cooler on the crate next to him and popped it open. He took out a can of orange soda and pulled the top then took a big drink and did a burp that didn't make any noise. He took out another one and held it out to me. A drink would have been great but I wasn't getting that close to me. He smiled and stood up. I pushed my crate seat back and he held up a hand and put the soda down on a crate between us then went back to his own seat. He nodded toward it and hell, I got up and got it then ran back to my spot. It was cold and tasted real good. I don't know why I told him my mom didn't like me have stuff like that. He smiled and nodded. He was looking in the cooler then he told me he had some really good ham and Swiss on hard rolls then he stood up and put one on the same crate where he put the soda. He stuck his chin out to it so I knew it could be mine. I waited a little bit cuz what if there was some kind of drug in it and I woke up in the trunk of his car or worse. I wasn't hungry anywhere.
'Pretty late for a little thing like you to be on an adventure' he said while he was chewing. I just shrugged. 'Yer folks know yer out?' He took another big drink with another quiet burp and just looked at me. I just shrugged again and mumbled that they didn't care. He nodded and took a big bite of his sandwich then told me he didn't usually have company at lunch time. I wanted to laugh cuz it was way too late for lunch and way too early for breakfast. He laughed instead and asked if I was gonna eat the other sandwich. I shook my head and he said 'suit yourself' then got it and unwrapped it before he even finished the first one. He bit and chewed for a while then asked me where I was planning to go cuz River's End was closed up tight. I said I was going to the bus station cuz I knew bus stations were always open. That's when he smiled and said there was no bus station in River's End and I'd have to take a cab all the way to Westport about an hour or so away.
Well that just sucked. What the hell kind of town didn't have a bus station and cab fare to another town would eat up a lot of my funds. He pulled a bag of those elf cookies with the chocolate filling out of his cooler and opened it. He held it out for me but I just shook my head.
He told me that a lot of kids think their parents don't care what they do but I didn't look like a kid no one cared about. Boy was he a rotten judge of character. I wanted to tell him nobody ever cared about me but I just let out a big breath and shook my head. Then he said sometimes kids get in trouble and their parents are tough on them but that don't mean they don't care. I shook my head and I told him I did lots of dumb stuff but the last time they just gave up cuz that's what people do.
He nodded and said he guessed some people did that but not parents. I told him they just left me alone and that's what always happens and they just didn't care anymore. He asked me if I was off to some bus station to teach them a lesson and I said yes then no and then I told him it didn't matter cuz they didn't care. He said maybe they cared in a way I didn't see but I told him that was dumb. I could see they just sent me away. I told them they put me in my own place and didn't yell at me or make me stay in my room or care if I drank coffee for breakfast. Then he laughed and tossed me the bag of cookies and I caught them. He said it sounded like they thought I was all grown up out on my own. I took a cookie and bit it. It tasted better than I remembered, not that I ever got a lot of cookies but I remembered those. I bit it again and started to feel real mad.
I'm not grown up, I told him that. Look at me, I almost screamed. I can't take care of myself and now they don't even say goodnight and I can't find Ling-a-ling and coffee doesn't taste right and I hate the dark and the bathroom and the shower and I just want my mom. And then I squished the cookie in my hand and I was crying like a dumb baby.
He didn't say anything or tell me to stop or that it would be okay, just munched on his cookies and hummed something I didn't know. I swiped my nose with my shirt and rubbed the tears off my eyes after a while. He pointed his head at the door and told me it wasn't locked. Then he said nobody ever solved anything they ran from and I knew he was right cuz it never worked for me…just made things worse or got people I cared about hurt. He said he had a phone and could call that cab for me but it might take a while since the town only had two and the drivers were probably asleep. I just shrugged. He started putting everything back in his cooler then put it back where he got it and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He told me he bet I could probably get back in my bed before anyone knew I was gone.
He doesn't know May.
The guy walked me back to the door and pulled it open with no problem. He looked at me and told me it wasn't easy to be a kid but it was a lot harder to be grown up. If he only knew how hard it was to be both at the same time. Then he asked me again if I'd rather get that cab and I shook my head. He told me to give my parents a chance because they were probably trying to teach me a lesson and that parents make mistakes sometimes. He said it was kinda hard to be in charge of a kid and do everything your sposed to do and get it right. He laughed a little and said maybe I was acting a little too big for my britches and they wanted to show me how it felt. I just nodded. I thought about going back and out the door but I really wanted to just go home to my real home…my only home…no matter how big or old or kid or grown up I was…if they'd let me. The guy asked if I wanted him to take me back but I said no and got back in the little car and started it. The little head light came on and he reached over into the car and flipped a switch and two big lights came on. I said thank you and he said things look a lot better in the right light.
He just watched me until I couldn't see him anymore
I drove the car back until I heard somebody then I turned it off and stayed super quiet. It was too late. They were looking for me and everything was just all messed up. I got out of the tunnel and into the first vent I could find. Nobody could find me there so I made it to the lift and then to the hangar. I knew exactly were to go to be alone.
Meanwhile…
May stormed down the hall thankful there were no agents to push out of her way. Coulson followed a few steps behind while Simmons almost broke into a run in order to catch up. "Forty-eight hours," she growled. "Forty-eight hours…I agreed to forty-eight hours," she stopped and spun so quickly Coulson almost slammed into her. Simmons skidded to a halt. She poked a finger out at no one in particular. "This asinine stunt has lasted about forty-seven hours too long."
"May," Coulson attempted to diffuse her. "Simmons was only trying…"
Turning away then back with an even more furious scowl, May stopped him without a word. She drew a deep breath and turned toward the doctor. "I never should have agreed to this stunt and you never should have thought something so damn stupid would do anything more than make this situation worse."
"Agent May," Simmons tried to remain objective. "We all agreed we would try any recourse to help Daisy get back to being herself. We've barely accomplished…"
"No," May exhaled deeply, stepping closer to the younger agent and again thrusting an accusing finger. "The only thing we've accomplished is reminding her that she's been rejected over and over and that everyone…everyone…" she paused at the catch in her voice. Pursing her lips she turned away and swallowed the sob that threatened to escape. "Everyone…including me is willing to just throw her away." She ended in a little more than a whisper.
Coulson stepped closer and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. She slapped him away. "I'm just as guilty, May, but she was so miserable and just wanted use to remember she was still an adult."
"But she's not," May barked. "She is a kid…for now, just a kid and she's doing exactly what she always does when things get too much. She's running and if she gets out there…"
"No, no, May." Coulson assured her. "I locked down the base as soon as we knew and…"
"Fitz is checking every camera and sensor on every floor…he's even got sensors in most of the vents. We will find her." Simmons tried to calm them both.
"She was gone before anyone had a chance to do a thing." May spoke through her teeth. "Whether she's ten or thirty, she's Daisy. If she wants something, she'll get it." She snarled and started storming away. "And when I get my hands on her she is she going to get it…" she swore under her breath.
Xxxx
Day 80 almost morning It was pretty easy getting into the Zephyr cuz nobody was going anywhere. From there it was even easier to get into the Quinjet. I like the Quinjet. It just makes me feel okay. I can't go back to that room that isn't mine. So I'm just gonna sit here and hug my knees cuz I think I finally figured out that I really need somebody to hug me. I never felt like that before or maybe I did and just forgot cuz maybe that was what I felt all those years I was in St. Agnes when something was missing but I never knew what it was. So I hugged my knees so tight they squished against me and I pushed myself real tight between the pilot's seat and the cockpit wall. I didn't want to cry anymore but I couldn't help it. I messed up again and I just cried until I fell asleep.
