Guys.
Guys. I know.
Please just don't judge I'm tired and I wanted this chapter over to begin with the real pain in the next.
So just uh
Just don't judge
I know.


So, this is what she decided to spend her free day on.

Amity grumbled as she crumbled up another sheet of paper, completely filled up with failed attempts at writing a poem.

Banging her head on the desk, she sighed, before putting her chin upon the wood and looking up to the bucket list she had once again pinned up on her wall. The poem glared down at her, even if the task beneath that was way bigger.

Sighing once again, she tapped her pen on the desk and shook her head, after having rested her forehead on it again, her head rolling from side to side. This was not working. She wasn't any good in poetry, she had never liked or understood it and she definitely regretted suggesting this to Luz back then.
Well to be fair, she hadn't known it'd come to bite her ass later.

Keeping her head down and her eyes closed, Amity finally let go of her pen and just accepted becoming a witch pancake, slowly melting while her chair scraped back to straighten her back and let her come closer and closer to the floor. Maybe, if she could puddle on it, the Titan would graciously scrap this task from her list.

This was so unfair.

Luz had always been the artsy, literature one. She probably would've liked writing a poem. She had actually written a novel! She had even written some Azura fanfictions, as it had turned out when Eda had finally cleared out Luz's room and put it all in a box to be returned to her mother.

But this wasn't Amity's type of thing. It wasn't her thing to rhyme words, make them sound good, or in any way, shape, or form create something like a poem.

Groaning, she slipped further, until her hanging hands reached the floor. She didn't care if she looked ridiculous, this was too hard.

"Having trouble?", Gus finally asked and Amity shot up from her awkward position, tumbling to the floor because she hadn't really been sitting on her chair anymore, staring at him with wide eyes when she scrambled to her feet.

"H-How long have you been standing there?"

Gus gave her a smug smirk, before pushing off the doorframe and approaching her, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Three groans ago. You got anything done?", he asked and she looked away with a pout, shaking her head.

"No, it was too hard.", frustratedly, Amity threw her arms up, taking her chair again and pulling it on her desk, making the young witch chuckle.

She rubbed over her face before eyeing him.

"This is so hard for you?", he asked and she nodded, furrowing her eyebrows.

"First of all, it's not something I'm good at, or have ever been good at. Second, it just feels like-… It's been so many years, how am I even going to describe her? She was fourteen the last time I saw her, and-… I don't even know what we spoke about the last time I saw her. It's all so fuzzy, somehow…", she mumbled, while Gus stared at the wall. Suddenly, he seemed less smug. Less amused. His entire posture had changed when he looked at the bucket list, she had written just a week after Luz had passed. He had seen it a thousand times at least in the seven years since it had happened, and Amity gulped when she sat down quietly.

"… Gus?"

He breathed through, before nodding.

"I might have an idea how to give you inspiration. I-… I haven't done this, not for myself or anyone else, even if Eda wanted me to.", he finally admitted and Amity furrowed her eyebrows, staring at him.

"What-… What do you mean, Gus?", she asked and he gave a sad smile.

"I'm an Illusionist, Amity.", he drew a circle and snapped a finger. With a cloud and a small sound of a clap, a carbon copy of him appeared next to him. Amity was used to this, of course, he used his copies so often she sometimes wondered if she had been speaking with an illusion Gus once in the past, "I make copies."

Shaking her head, Amity shrugged.

"How's that gonna help me?", she asked as he puffed the illusion of himself away, before turning back to her.

"There's a law, that we are not allowed to make dead people appear. It'd raise too many questions and probably drive the family and friends insane. But-… If, If you feel like you need it, I'd be more than willing to break that law."

Her eyes widening, she shot to her feet, staring at him. She had never thought about this, probably because it was so surreal to ever see Luz again. Narrowing her eyes, she subconsciously grabbed the hem of her shirt, before sucking in her lips and breathing through.

"Are-… Are you really up for this?", she pressed out, and Gus gave her a hard nod.

"I'm not gonna lie, I've been thinking about it more often than I want to admit. Not for pranks, that'd be heartless, but I've thought about creating her once or twice, just to help ease the pain on dark days.", everything in Amity screamed to see Luz again, even if just for such a short time, and she was this close to begging him when he already continued, "But I'm warning you, Amity, I will not do it more than once. It'll hurt and it won't relieve any stress, do you understand?"

Considering, Amity finally looked away, taking a minute or two, before looking back to him.

"Let's get Willow for this if she wants to?"

A hesitant nod and a rushed explanation later, the three of them stood in the living room downstairs, all their blinds closed and doors locked before they took each other's hands. Gus looked over to the girls who stared back at him.

"This will not be Luz. I will be controlling her, and she will be a normal illusion. It's not Luz, understood?"

Willow and Amity nodded before Gus breathed through and spun a circle. A cloud appeared in the middle of their living room and Amity felt Willow's grip on her hand tightening. It'll be like looking at a picture, she reminded herself. Just a copy.

The cloud got bigger, almost as tall as Amity herself, and she pressed her lips together in anticipation. When the cloud faded, Luz stared back at her.

Immediately, she felt her chest being compressed as she felt the air pushing out of it, and her heart squeezing at the feelings, she felt upon looking at the teenager in front of her.

Luz barely reached her chin.

She was absolutely tiny.

The young teenager stared back, and while she was just a copy, Amity felt how much Gus had poured into this reflection of their friend.

Willow had to sit down but Amity stayed on her feet, surprisingly so. A hiccup escaped her throat, before she watched Luz moving, looking around and back to her.

She had never realized how much she had grown, how much they had grown, in comparison to their early teen years. Another hiccup and Luz was looking directly looking at her. Amity took a step forward, letting go of Willow's and Gus' hand as she got a better look at the human before Luz did what she had always done, what had been her trademark spell to pull off. She produced a light glyph from her coat and activated it. Amity watched the little light floating in Luz's hands and she was almost tempted to touch it when Gus ended the illusion.

A puff of smoke erupted from Luz's body and Amity whipped around to look at her friends, Gus who had tears in his eyes, and Willow who was silently shaking. Almost tempted to ask him to bring her back, Amity approached them, but instead just pulled Gus down on the couch to hug them both, sniffling and finally allowing her tears to flow again, just as her friends joined her.

It took them a long while to calm down again after all their tears had subsided and all of them had been able to control their breathing again.

But it wasn't long after, that Amity found herself sitting on her desk, waking up.

She hadn't been sleeping, not at all, yet it felt like she was resurfacing back into consciousness after a long while. Her clock showed it was just after 2 am and her joints and neck kind of ached, but in front of her, on her desk, a finished poem sat.

Staring at it, she read through it again and again, not really believing what she had written until every word had been drilled into her mind and soul. If it hadn't been for her sleep-deprived, dehydrated state, she probably would have cried more.

Luz, my light

It's been hard, it's been rough

Realizing your passing was tough

Yet, somehow, your light still shines

And our lives it still entwines

Never did I know this pain

Broke me down like acid rain

Never did I know this love

One I was deprived of

And yet, your light, it guides

Through the darkest of nights

Still shows in the brightest of days

Sets my heart ablaze

But the longer it's been

The more I've seen

The wonderful impact you left

The hollow feeling of theft

You were part of our lives

Your memory still gives

To this day and more

What I never could've imagined before

The light you gave

That smile, so brave

Your warmth, around me

Making me carefree

Your jokes, your laughter

The shenanigans you were after

The dance under the stars

That was alone ours

My heart beating so fast

Not just in the past

At your unparalleled joy

That I came to enjoy

I hope you're well

I'm still under your spell

Luz, my light

My fearless knight

With love, your Blight


I'm so sorry.