Author's Notes: Hello all, sorry for the delay with this chapter, but due to work I'll be posting on Sundays until further notice. I hope you weren't too worried when you didn't see a post on Friday! Remember that you can check for any extra information about the fic - delays, issues, extra thoughts or exerts - on my tumblr page! You can find me under SugarRosFanfiction. :) Also please remember that if you are reviewing as a guest you can find the replies to your reviews on my tumblr as well since I am not able to reply here.

Also, I've started my hand at fanart! I just have one up, but you can head over to my tumblr page to check it out, and yes it's for this fic!

On to it! I hope you all enjoy!

Beta: Penthesileia

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

.

.

Chapter 32: Here There Be Wolves

.

.

Inuyasha

There she stood, as if mocking him, finger pointed straight across the invisible, but very potent border, and deep into Wolf territory. Inuyasha fought the urge to yank her hand away, flip her onto his back and take off running in the opposite direction.

Kagome, however, blinked up at him, unfazed. Or unaware. Whichever.

"Wolves?" She asked, her grip loosening on his fire-rat coat. He saw her smile in the darkness, relief evident on her face. "Thank god. I thought you were going to say a youkai was headed our way. Wolves are no problem for you." She took a step forward.

"Oi, where are you going?" he snapped, fisting her shirt in his hands and pulling her back towards him.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said, a twist of accusation in her voice he didn't like very much. "I won't go far, it's too dark out."

"Nope. Not that way."

She turned to him then, her brows furrowing together. "Why?"

He didn't want to say why, she'd just have to take his word for it. "Don't you sense shards in any other direction?"

She paused. Her suspicious gaze caused him to fidget in place, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"No…" She replied slowly. Accusingly. "Inuyasha, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Keh," he said, avoiding her eyes. It was easy since it was so dark on the forest floor, she wasn't quite looking at him, more like around him. "It's none of your concern."

Her head jerked back in shock. "You're kidding me, right? This whole ordeal we've found ourselves in is my concern," she said, hands fisting at her sides. "Finding the jewel shards? My concern. Getting the mirror spell broken? My concern. Making sure everyone I care about survives all this… this shit I've stirred up for them? My. Concern." her chest heaved in frustration.

Inuyasha took a step back, shocked she was willing to argue the fact when before she would have just kept quiet. ...Probably.

Hmmm, purred his youkai, she's starting to stand up for herself. How very youkai of her, don't you think? Just like every other time, he pushed it down.

"It's not just wolves," he had to admit, because he couldn't fucking kid himself - she was right. What good would it do to keep it from her? They'd have to pass into Wolf territory eventually. He'd have to explain it to her then, dammit.

"So it is a youkai thing." She guessed.

"Of course it's a youkai thing, idiot. It's always a youkai thing. I told you, back when we escaped from the museum, remember? Youkai are everywhere."

"But.." she said, struggling to grasp what he thought was an easy concept, "I mean, are the Wolf youkai that strong?"

Inuyasha grit his teeth together. "Of course they're strong."

"Stronger than you, though?"

He cocked an eyebrow down at her, half surprised she took that much stock in his abilities. "Keh," he said, feeling heat spread over his cheeks, "of course not stronger than me."

"You destroyed the spider youkai so easily. What's different about the Wolves?"

"Listen," he bit out, "I'm not going to pretend like it's got everything to do with strength. I'm not welcome in the Wolf youkai territory. They've lived in this part of the woods for centuries. We have…" he took in a deep breath, "...history." He watched realization dawn across her face.

"Oh," she whispered.

He frowned. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Her nod was slow and deliberate. "How could I forget?" She said. She stepped close and grabbed his sleeve. "It was then, you know… when you first told me… that was the moment I knew I could never turn you over to Kikyou."

Inuyasha swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't do well with soft, human emotions. He struggled to react the way he should to her kindness. "Just… don't think about it," he said. His words were lame. Raw and throaty.

"Of course I think about it. I think about it almost every day. How she made you track down youkai, even peaceful ones, and… and rip…" her voice wavered, as if she couldn't bring herself to finish. He didn't blame her. "It haunts me in my sleep. I can't even imagine how you deal with it in yours."

What could he say? Nothing. Each murder was burned into his retinas, each limp, hollowed-out body he could still feel in the palm of his hand. The despair was turbulent, a swelling inside him that he had to constantly push down and lock up, just like he did with his fervid cravings, just like he did with his youkai.

"Inuyasha, this shard is the only one I can sense right now. But we can just go a different direction, and maybe I'll pick up on another location…?"

"That's ridiculous," he spat, an attempt to stop the swell of sadness threatening to break through his self-control. "Of course we have to go get it."

"But-" she started.

"Shut up," he snarled. He placed a hand on her back and gave her a shove - as gently as he could - in the opposite direction of the Wolf border. "Do your business and we'll get going."

"No need to push me," she said.

He didn't answer. He was too busy warring with himself.

Only feet away and I can already smell the old blood you've spilt. It's soaked into the earth.

Fuck you.

Don't pretend you'll be able to contain yourself, so close to the Wolves. They bring out the best of you.

Shut up. Kikyou has no control over me anymore. I won't be killing anyone.

It's inevitable, and you know it. We don't need Kikyou to have fun, you can't run from who you really-

"Okay, I'm ready." Her voice broke through his youkai, sent it scurrying back into the depths of his consciousness. He didn't know how that worked, but he was fucking relieved that it did. He breathed deep as she stumbled towards him in the darkness. Mixed in with the scent of the earth and trees and shrubbery was the faint tint of cherry blossoms and vanilla. He tried to keep ahold of the sensation her scent gave him, proof of his ability to feel something, anything other than anger and pain and sick glee at the hands of his ever-encroaching youkai.

He guided her hands to his back as he crouched down to let her on, then jumped up to the nearest branch, his eyes searching for the clearest way up, actively avoiding as many whip-thin branches as possible. The moon was slowly receding in the night sky.

Smarter to stay and camp, or continue on until morning? He mused, gazing ahead towards the middle of Wolf territory.

Their head council was located in the center of the territory, where the hills swelled into a mountainous cluster, a stringing maze of hollowed caves leading to the innermost - a large, domed cavern. Inuyasha knew those caves by memory, his recollection smeared by Kikyou's magic forcing his full youkai out from under his skin. His claws sharp and stained red, his fangs dripping with his most recent kill. And the wolves, scurrying about under him, squeezing into any small crevice they could find, terrified and already in mourning for those they would be losing up to unavoidable sacrifice that night.

"Hey, where's your head right now?"

His ears twitched towards her, wrenched back from his thoughts. "Just wondering what the best course of action is," he half-lied. "We could make camp here, but we'd lose half the night resting. Probably best to find an abandoned outpost, stay there for the night." He took her silence as agreement.

Once they crossed the border, there would be no hope of avoiding the wolves. Eventually a pack would come across their path, and then what?

I'll have to fucking keep Kagome out of trouble, that's what. Protecting her wasn't just picking her up and putting her into the high branches of a tree. If any wolf pack leaders -assholes, really - who were always youkai, were traveling with the pack, they'd be in for bigger trouble.

It would mean he'd have to kill again.

What choice did he have? Kagome was the only useful secret he had right now, and putting her in any more danger than needed was not going to happen. Inuyasha shuddered to think if the Wolf youkai discovered her weird talent for finding the jewel shards. They would definitely want to use her for the same goal, and if they didn't manage to outright kill Inuyasha, he'd just be sucked back into the mirror until Kikyou eventually tracked him down, which could in theory be centuries if she wished it, the bitch. And once again his only freedom would be at her whim.

He leapt across the border, maneuvering faster through the treetops than he usually did. He kept his nose sharp, tracking for old and new scents of any wolf packs, keeping a detailed map in his head as he moved. The flat, forested landscape changed slowly to hillsides, swelling up and down as he continued his tracking, as the moon slowly lowered towards the horizon.

The best discovery for the night would be an abandoned cave, one used centuries ago when the Wolves laid their sights on acquiring land for their ever-growing numbers, spreading themselves out to stake added territory for themselves. Inuyasha remembered that war: it was bloody and brutal, and he had been forced to jump in the middle and cause deaths on both sides. Kikyou was, after all, unbiased in her hatred towards all youkai, and condemned their deaths no matter their political youkai ideals. A youkai war was just another excuse to slaughter more of them.

The abandoned outposts probably hadn't been used in a long time. After the Wolf war, it had been mainly peaceful.

Just as the threat of the sun began to worry him, Inuyasha stumbled across one.

He almost missed it, actually.

The rolling hills had slowly changed to a more mountainous region, and this cave in particular was buried in shrubbery and fallen rocks, halfway up a sloping cliffside. He would have jumped right on by if he hadn't caught the faint sound of crumbling pebbles falling back into it

Inuyasha dropped to the ground and shrugged a sleepy Kagome from his back. She yawned and blinked a few times, her eyes searching around the pine-needle-laden floor.

"Is this where we're camping?" She asked, slowly easing the pack off her shoulders.

"In here," he said, kicking at the mouth to the cave. The rocks fell through, rolling down the shallow incline and into the hollowed cavern.

"It's safe?"

"Keh, of course," he replied, picking up her pack and stepping down into the mouth. "No one has been in here for a hundred years, maybe more."

She whistled low, impressed. "That's a long time."

"Come on," he reached out a hand for her to take and helped her step inside. Her lead her in, the dawn not yet reaching into its' depths for her to be able to see her own way.

The ceiling was just high enough for him to stand, but not very wide, about five feet or so he guessed. He couldn't help the curl of satisfaction that licked through him; the cave went far back enough, at least, that the strong sunlight wouldn't penetrate it. For the first time in a long time he could spend the whole day sleeping outside of his cage.

"It'll do," he said, dropping the pack. "We'll camp here until nightfall." He turned to Kagome, who was reaching for her sleeping bag as he spoke. "Make sure you sleep well, we'll be pushing hard tomorrow."

She only nodded, her movements robotic as she made herself comfortable.

Inuyasha took his mirror and leaned it up against the back of the cave, then moved as close as he dare to the mouth, which wasn't as close as he would have liked. If he was lucky enough, he'd get to watch as dawn slowly turned to day, safely from the darkness of the cave.

"What about you?" Kagome's drowsy voice drifted to his ears. Her feet shuffled at the bottom of her sleeping bag, inches from where Inuyasha sat. "Will you sleep?"

How could he? How many chances would he get to watch the air turn, as if he were naturally free himself?

"Keh," he replied softly, "I'll keep watch for a while. Just in case."

"M'kay…" the word drifted off gradually, and he listened as her breathing slowed to an even, restful pattern.

His eyes stayed locked to the world outside the cave, the small hole that he was allowed, anyway. His ears twitched back and forth as the forrest's day-creatures came to life. Every few seconds one would scuttle quickly across the mouth of the cave, allowing him to catch just a glimpse. He had an unexplainable urge to chase after one and hold it in his hand. They always had amazingly soft fur, he could remember catching and releasing them as a child, when he had all the freedom in the world.

Keh, too much freedom, probably.

The early morning noise of the forest calmed him, he could feel his breathing match Kagome's peaceful one as his eyelids drooped heavily down. He grunted in protest, trying to stay awake, to watch more of the daylight from the safety of the cave, but he felt like he could no longer hold his head up. The events of last night's travel had caught up to him. He laid back onto the dirt, in between the giant pack and Kagome's sleeping lump under her bag. The tips of his ears brushed against something soft. He tilted his chin up to see the white, fluffy pillow that she insisted she sleep with.

Keh, what, she fell asleep so fast she forgot to lay on it? He reached out and carefully hooked a finger over the top of her bag. He pulled it down slowly, just enough to see the same pillow cradling her own head.

She has another one? He looked back at the one she'd left out for him. Why'd she bother? It's not like he hadn't spent his whole life sleeping without pillows, first in the forest and then inside the mirror. Using pillows was such a weak, human thing.

He reached out to poke at it with his fingers. It was soft under his touch. With a glance towards Kagome, just to make sure she was still asleep, he tentatively bent his head down and inhaled.

...Fuck, it smelled like her. That same vanilla and cherry blossom scent that he'd grown to associate with her stupid face. ...Well, not stupid, it was kind of a nice face.

You can admit that she's not ugly, he growled to himself, clenching his jaw and pushing the offending lump of fabric away from his head. He rolled onto his back and rested his head on his hands instead, and focused on the ataractic sounds around him.

Slowly, slowly, he drifted to sleep.

.

.

He signed, inhaling deep. He was laying in a field of vine-threaded, white, orchid-like flowers, and they smelled fantastic. His ears flicked atop his head, hearing soft whispering he could barely make out. The words traveled in the breeze as it brushed across his skin. The sun was low, reflecting off the wings of hundreds of tiny insects, all fluttering lazily across the field.

He was warm, as if he'd been laying out there for hours. His eyes were heavy, drowsy from the sleep he was awaking from.

"Inuyasha," the wind whispered. "Inuyasha…"

He grunted and rolled to his side, his arms wrapped around something soft. There was no one in the field with him, but he could feel it in his arms, a warm body, molding perfectly to his own.

"Inuyasha…" The wind was more urgent this time, and something inside of him shifted.

She was wrapped up in his arms, the curve of her back pressed up against his chest her legs entwined with his. Her head was pressed up under his chin, their fingers twisted together. Groggily, Inuyasha grunted and pulled her closer to him. It had been so long since he slept so comfortably. He wanted just a few more minutes, just a little more time to sleep, wrapped up and serene.

"Do you hear that?" she whispered.

"Hear what?" he mumbled.

"Inuyasha, something's coming." Her words were hushed but urgent, he could smell her fear. His eyes opened.

He reared back.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell was his problem, getting all comfortable and cuddling up next to Kagome like that? Fuck, he hadn't even realized he was doing it. His brain was groggy, like he was still coming out of his dream.

She sat up with him, eyes wide and sacred. "Don't you hear it?" she asked, seemingly unconcerned that she'd been in his arms.

No, he hadn't heard 'it,' goddammit, and he wasn't sure how it was possible, either. He'd spent his whole life sleeping with one eye open, his ears on high alert. Nothing could have possibly snuck up on them without him knowing it.

"I think it's-" her worried voice continued.

"Shut up," he snapped, his ears now sharp and wired. His brow furrowed together as he sniffed the air. The sun was on it's decent, Inuyasha could tell by the shadows cast on the floor of the cave. His eyes widened as he caught a whiff of it - wet, thick undercoat, dried mud and decaying teeth. He could hear soft pads treading carefully across the leaf-and-pine-needle-covered ground.

Here they come, his youkai salivated, emerging from within.

"Get up," Inuyasha demanded, grabbing Kagome by the arm and pulling her out of the sleeping bag. She yelped as he shoved her behind him. "Be quiet."

"I-is it a youkai?" She whispered. He could feel her trembling at his back.

"I said be quiet," he snapped, crouching low to the ground.

Slowly he came into view. Bright, yellow eyes, a narrow, pointed snout, long thin legs attached to a lithe body. Gray and brown fur sprouted from every inch of his skin, thicker up by his neck and around his pointed ears.

He was alone. Inuyasha knew by his smell.

He had to die.

"Stay where you are, Kagome" Inuyasha hissed, taking a slow, small step forward.

The wolf's eyes stayed trained on him. His lips pulled back into a snarl, showing stark white fangs protruding from deep black gums.

Inuyasha's claws lengthened in preparation for his moment to strike. Yes, his youkai rejoiced, yes, rip his throat out. It made him sick to his stomach, but he allowed the eager words to seep in, to make what he was about to do easier. Because he agreed with his youkai. A seeker wolf would immediately head back to inform its leader's of trespassers. A few wolves Inuyasha could handle, but an entire army, with youkai thrown in - he'd be dead before he could call out to warn Kagome they were coming. He couldn't let the seeker return.

His first murder free from Kikyou's spelled influence.

The seeker wolf lunged, drool splattering across the floor as he snarled, jaws wide, ready to tear into Inuyasha's face.

Now. He thrust out his left arm and caught the wolf by his neck, felt his sharp claws puncture through the vulnerable skin, felt the wolf jerk in his hands as his warm blood spilled in thick rivets down his fingers and drip, drip, dripped onto the ground.

"No!" Kagome shrieked. Inuyasha jerked his head towards her, struggling to fight off the red that hinged around the edges of his vision. She was pressed up against the very back of the cave wall, one hand covering her mouth, eyes wide in horror. At some point she had pulled out her bow and an arrow, and it hung limp in her other hand. Goddammit, he'd told her to stay put. Bitch never fucking did as she was told.

"No what?" he growled.

"Don't kill him, you don't have-"

"What the fuck do you think he's going to do? It's a fucking seeker, it will run back to master and tell them exactly where we are. What the hell are we going to accomplish then?"

"But-"

"But nothing," he seethed, "I'm keeping you alive. This is how it's done." and with that, with his youkai laughing gleefully in his ear, Inuyasha reached his right hand around to the back of the wolf's head and wrapped his fingers around his snout. Without blinking, his gaze set on Kagome, he wrenched his head around, too quick for her eyes to follow, until he felt that satisfying crunch he knew so well.

His body went limp in his arms.

The tears welled up and fell in fat droplets down Kagome's face.

The sickness Inuyasha felt tumbled inside him, both mixing and combative with the elation of his youkai. You did it. You did it. You did what you were meant to do!

"Inuyasha…" Kagome whispered.

"Say it!" he roared, dropping the listless body on the ground, watching as she winced from the sound it made colliding with the earth, his youkai laughing at her fear. She still held the bow and arrow. If he pressed forward, would she use it on him? "Say it," he repeated, stepping towards her. "I'm a monster. A murderer." he took another step. "Say it!"

"I won't!" She cried, dropping her weapon and taking a step forward herself. Her bravery stunned him, cleared his anger for just a moment.

"You're scared of me," he accused, yet suddenly unsure.

"I'm not scared of you, you idiot, I'm scared of who you could become," she clarified, taking another careful step. "I don't want you to fall back into what you were, Inuyasha, before I pulled you out of the mirror. Remember? I don't want you to become what Kikyou made you."

"Kikyou only brought out what's inside of me. It's who I really am," he spat.

"That's ridiculous. You're not the darkest parts of who you could become."

"Of course I am! My youkai is a part of me. It's not a subconscious like you humans have, it's a real, living thing that is constantly trying to break free. Even now, it speaks to me. It says things-"

"What's it saying now?"

"You don't- I can't-"

"Inuyasha, what's it saying to you?"

"It's telling me to rip your fucking throat out, you fool." he raged, combating against it. "It just got a taste of fresh blood, and it wants more. And here you stand, dropping the only weapon you have to protect yourself."

"Yeah? Well it's just as stupid as you say I am if it thinks I'm scared of it - of you!" she took another step. Another. "There's no way that you'll follow through with what your youkai wants, because it could have just let me be eaten by the spider youkai. You could have just left my friends to die. You could have just stepped into your mirror and never thought about what you really want - your freedom - ever again. You want to be a good person… you are a good person! And if you weren't such a freaking idiot, you'd be able to see that!"

He felt it then, her touch.

He looked down, eyes wide. Her hand was holding his, her fingers wrapped gently around his own. When had she gotten close enough to touch him? He shuddered against that warmth. So tiny, touching such a small part of his skin, yet he could feel it, spreading up through his fingers, his wrist, his arms… his chest constricted, and somehow, the ranting youkai that had been in the forefront of his mind was more like a whisper.

"I'm not scared," she repeated, her voice gentle, "and I don't want you to lose yourself in what you have to do to protect me, and to protect yourself! I know you had a reason, and I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, I don't fully- I don't fully understand how the wolf youkai and the wolves operate here. I know you have reasons for what you do, so thank you. Thank you for protecting me."

Inuyasha let his breath out long and deep, reveling in the tranquility of her presence. How was it possible that a simple touch from her could calm him so quickly? How did her words - words that he was increasingly starting to believe were genuine - penetrate and all but eradicate his youkai?

Don't let go. The thought spread through him, a yearning that was, somehow, different than the all-consuming lust he felt every time she had touched him before.

"Explain it to me," she urged softly, "why you had to kill him?"

"It was a seeker," he said, hating the way the thickness of his throat revealed itself in his words. "Seekers are specific wolves sent to wander the border of their territory, and report back any intruder breaches. We can't have them knowing we're here, Kagome. They will send everything they have at us. They know me here. They want me dead, and with damn good cause, too. And I can't - I don't think I'd be able to get you out alive."

"Okay. It's okay," she murmured, taking a final step to him. He froze as her hand left his fingers and trailed up his arm, as she brought her other hand up to meet together around his neck and pulled him into a hug. It was then that he realized he was trembling.

"It's okay," she repeated. "Thank you for protecting me." She pulled away from him.

Don't let go. He could already feel the warmth her body left behind slowly fade away.

"I'm assuming we can't leave the body here," she said, hands on her hips. She looked weary, but determined. "How do we cover our tracks?"

.

.

As always, I would love to hear what you think, any comments or crits are welcome. I love to discuss anything that deals with writing, so any questions or comments would be lovely to hear!

SugarRos