So, this day could have gone a lot better.
They were imprisoned on a ship, ready to be dropped off in Cuba after being whipped. Every inch of their bodies hurt, and Eugene was still back in Spain, left alone to fend for himself on the streets.
Miguel was startled out of his pessimistic thoughts as an apple landed on his stomach, hearing a horse whinny up above, only slightly louder than the thud of Tulio banging his head on a wooden beam.
"So, uh, how's the- How's the escape plan coming?"
Tulio ignored him for a few moments, before holding up a hand, "All right. All right. Wait! I'm getting something!"
More thuds
"Okay, here's the plan!" Tulio waved Miguel closer and they both lay on the floor next to each other as Tulip grabbed a cup and his dice. "In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions- "
"Okay."
"- hijack on of those long boats, and then we row back to Spain like there's no mañana!"
"… Back to Spain, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"In a rowboat?"
"You got it!"
"Great, sensational!" Miguel sighed, "And that's-that's your plan, is it?"
"… That's pretty much it."
Miguel was silent for a few moments, before beaming and shuffling closer, "Well, I like it. So, how do we get on deck?"
"Umm…." Tulio grabbed the cup again, "…. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those longboats- "
"- Uh, great!"
Tulio frowned, "Okay, what's your idea, smart guy?!"
"Wh-wh-what do you mean!" Miguel pouted, "Don't ask me that! You're the one with the plans!"
And then, they heard Cortes's horse neighing up above.
"Wait…" Miguel tossed the apple that had dropped onto him, from hand to hand, "... I-I have an idea. Come on, give me- give me a boost!"
As Tulio lifted him up to the hatch, Miguel stuck his hands through the gaps, continuing to toss the apple from hand to hand. "Hey, Altivo! Altivo! You want a nice apple? Come and get it." As the horse went to grab the apple, Miguel pulled it back down, "You have to do a trick for me first though."
Altivo almost seemed confused.
"All you have to do is find a pry bar!" Miguel hissed, "A long piece of iron with a hooky thing!"
"Miguel." Tulio groaned, "You're talking to a horse!"
"That's it, Altivo, find the pry bar."
Tulio rolled his eyes, "Yes, find the pry bar." He nudged Miguel's arse with his head, "He can't understand 'pry bar'! He's a dumb horse, there's no way- "
A pair of keys dropped through the gap and onto the straw-covered floor.
"Well, it's not a pry bar."
"Why would it be a pry bar?"
Miguel and Tulio's heads darted towards the hatch, where a very familiar face was staring down at them.
"Eugene!"
"Sssshhh!" Eugene frowned, "Why would Altivo try and find a pry bar?"
"How did you get on board the ship?"
"Snuck on… better than you did."
Eugene smirked as Tulio glared up at him.
"Just- Just meet us here when everyone's gone to sleep!"
….
"Come on, on the boat." Tulio rolled his eyes, practically lifting his son up by the collar and dumping him on the little rowboat, "Miguel, come on!"
Miguel slowly started to make his way over, only to be stopped as something nudged him in the back. For a moment, he froze in fear, believing that he'd been caught.
"It's Altivo!" Eugene beamed, clicking his tongue to try and encourage the horse to come a little bit closer.
"Oh." Miguel smiled in relief, turning around and giving Altivo a stroke, "Oh, thank you. Listen if we can ever return the favour- "
Altivo nudged his front, sniffing frantically.
"For Pete's sake, Miguel…" Tulio hissed, pulling Eugene back into a seated position, "… he's a ruthless warhorse, not a poodle! Come on, before he licks you to death or something!"
"Adios!"
Miguel hopped into the boat, sending Altivo a quick salute, before helping Tulio to lower the boat to the water. As soon as they dipped out of sight, Altivo started to kick up a racket, running to the side and looking over, peering down at them.
"Sssh, ssh, quiet please!" Miguel begged.
"What's the matter with him?" Tulio hissed, "He's going to wake everybody up!"
"…. Oh, he wants his apple!"
"Well, give it to him before he wakes the whole ship!" Tulio snatched the apple from Miguel's hands and throwing it back up to the ship, "Fetch!"
Believing that that was that, the adults got back to lowering the boat, as Eugene leaned over the side precariously… the apple narrowly missing his head as it fell back down into the water.
Closely followed by the horse.
"Altivo!" Eugene cried out, as Miguel dived into the water, leaving a panicked Tulio fumbling to control their descent.
"Miguel!"
"Altivo, I'm coming!"
"Miguel!" Losing control, Tulio tried to grab the other rope, only to miss and have the boat go crashing into the ocean.
"I'm here Altivo!" Miguel cried out, "I'm here!"
The boat had tipped over, leaving Tulio to push it over to Miguel, Eugene sitting on top.
"Have you lost your mind?!" He screamed, watching as Miguel grabbed a rope and swam underneath a frantic Altivo, throwing the other end to Tulio as he emerged on the other side. "What are you doing?!"
"Loop the rope under the horse!" Miguel then climbed onto the boat.
"On the count of three, pull back on the rope!"
"What?!"
"Three… Two-
Suddenly, the terrifying image of the ship approaching filled their vision.
"- HO-LY SHIP!"
"NOW!"
Pulling they managed to get out of the way of the ships, pulling Altivo onto the small boat. Plucking Eugene out of the water, Tulio put him on the boat as well, before him and Miguel climbed on board.
"Tulio!" Miguel beamed, "Hey, it worked!"
"… Did any of the supplies make it?"
At the sound of Eugene's giggles, Miguel turned to the right, only to wince at what he saw. "Well, uh, yes and no."
Tulio sat up, and groaned at the sight of the horse eating right through the supplies that they'd managed to salvage, "Ohhh, GREAT!"
"Look on the positive side. At least things can't get- "
Lightning lit up the sky, followed by a clap of thunder literally seconds later, the heavens opened up and rain poured down on them, soaking them in an instance.
"Excuse me, were you going to say 'worse'?!" Tulio hissed
"…No."
"No?
"No."
"You're sure?"
"Absolutely not, I've revised the whole thing- "
"- Okay, because- "
Eugene rolled his eyes as his parents continued to bicker, huddling up next to Altivo, taking advantage of the heat the horse was giving off, slowly closing his eyes and falling to sleep.
…
It would be a lie to say the journey was easier.
Every other day, they were clutching to the sides of the boat, combatting against the giant waves, torrential rain and hurricane wind.
Then the supplies ran out, and they were scavenging for food.
To no avail though. Even when a seagull died on the end of one of the oars, a shark got to it first.
And then there was the heat.
"Tulio…" Miguel sighed, gently stroking his fingers through Eugene's hair as the child slept, "… Did you ever imagine it would end like this?"
"The horse is a surprise."
"Any… regrets?"
"Besides dying and dragging the kid into it?"
Miguel nodded weakly, as Tulio let out a sob. "I never… had enough… gold!"
"My regret, besides dying is…" Miguel sighed, "… our greatest adventure is over before it began, and no-one will even remember us. We won't get to see Eugene grow up, have kids of his own."
"Well, if it's any consolation Miguel…. You made my life…an adventure!"
As Tulio sobbed bitterly, Miguel couldn't help but frown slightly. He was hoping for Tulio to say something a little more romantic. "And if it's any consolation Tulio, you made my life… rich."
He knew Tulio would think it related to gold.
For a few moments, they continued to gently drift through the ocean… until they stopped. With their hands outside the boat, the pair frowned when they felt the hot grains of sand, inside of cool sea water.
Slowly, they brought their hands up to their faces, allowing the sand to fall through their fingers.
"Is this-
"It is!"
"It's- it's- it's- "
"LAND!"
The sudden cries startled Eugene awake, and before his parents could react, the child was leaping out of the boat, practically burying his face in the sand.
Mind you, Tulio and Miguel weren't much better, kissing the ground all the way up the beach.
And then Miguel found the skull.
Looking back at the incident, the pair would say that they merely let out a little yelp of surprise. When Eugene told the story, he told the truth.
They screamed like scared little girls.
"All in favour of getting back in the boat, say 'aye!'
"AYE!" "AYE!" "AYE! Let's go!"
As Tulio and Eugene raced back to the boat, closely followed by Altivo, Miguel hung back slightly, scanning the edge of the jungle, before he gasped in amazement, reaching into his tunic and pulling out a familiar piece of parchment.
"Hey, Miguel! We could use a little help!"
No response.
"Miguel!" Tulio rolled his eyes and stormed closer, "Hello!"
"Tulio! We've done it!"
It was then that Tulio spotted what was in Miguel's hand, "What's that? The map?!"
"It's all right here!"
"You still have the map?!"
"The whistling rock! The stream!"
"You kept the map, but you couldn't grab a little more food?! You can see Eugene's ribs!"
"Even those mountains!" Miguel clearly hadn't been paying attention, "You said so yourself! It could be possible, and it is! It really is the map to El Dorado!"
There was a moment of silence, before Tulio frowned, "You drank the seawater, didn't you?"
"Oh, come on!"
"I'm not coming on!" Tulio turned and stormed back to the boat, where Eugene was watching the argument in interest, "I wouldn't set foot in that jungle for a million pesetas!"
"… How about a hundred million?"
Tulio's frowned deepened, "What?"
Shrugging, Miguel sauntered over, "I just thought that, after all, since El Dorado is the city of gold…" He trailed off, smirking as Tulio took the bait.
"What's your point?"
"You know dust, nuggets, bricks, a temple of gold where you can pluck gold from the very walls. But you don't want to go, so let's…" He grabbed an oar, "… get back on the boat and row back to Spain. After all, it worked so well last time and- "
"- Wait!" Tulio held up his hands, "Wait a minute… new plan. We find the city of gold. We take the gold and then we go back to Spain!"
"And buy it!" Eugene nodded along enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" "That's the spirit!"
Miguel then charged over to the forest, snatching a sword from the sand, "Come on Eugene!" He slashed at the vines, "We'll follow that trail! The trail we blaze!"
The vines fell to reveal the side of a giant rock.
Tulio frowned, "What trail?"
There was a brief pause, before Miguel pointed in another direction, "That trail that we blaze!"
As Eugene followed Miguel eagerly, already chattering about Flynn Rider and the time he had to save some gold from evil robbers (oh the irony), Tulio groaned, spotting out of the corner of his eye, how Altivo tried to leave.
"Oh no you don't!" Tulio growled, grabbed the horse's reigns and yanking him back as they followed after Miguel.
And then he felt the pain on his arse.
"YEOW! Your horse just bit me in the butt!"
….
From there, it was truly like something out of one of Eugene's books. Miguel took great delight in slicing through the thick vines (terrorising the poor creatures at the same time).
Then Eugene decided that he'd found the perfect pet
"What is that?"
"Dunno… but he's going to be my new sidekick!"
Before Tulio could open his mouth to reply, Miguel suddenly urged Altivo forwards, the map clenched tightly in his fist as he left Tulio and Eugene behind.
"Unless your new pet can lead us to El Dorado, then you're not- " Tulio cut himself off as Miguel came crashing through the branches once again, looking down at the map in confusion, "- That's upside down Miguel!"
He snatched the map and turned it the right way up.
"Right!" And then Miguel was off again.
"C'mon." Tulio lifted Eugene into his arms, "Maybe he'll stop at some point and we can- WOAH!" They were hoisted onto the horse and continued on their journey.
…..
"Look! Look! It's the bird! Like on the map!"
Miguel nodded in enthusiasm, "I know, look Tulio!"
Tulio just walked past, not sparing his son or partner a second glance.
"Dad." Eugene whispered, as they followed on behind, "Is Papa angry with us?"
"No… no, he's just… hot."
….
"This is taking too long!" Tulio growled, watching as Eugene and Miguel hacked at the vines, "We're cutting through the river!"
"But what about leeches?!" Eugene asked.
"You're reading too many of those adventure books!"
Needless to say, Tulio didn't appreciate all the "I told you so" comments. He especially didn't appreciate Eugene examining the gross creatures and declaring that they were now his pets as well.
…..
The next day, they crossed the piranha invested part of the river, and once again, Tulio was the one who had all the worst luck in the world.
"Dinner is served!" Miguel forced a cheery tone into his voice, holding up the cooked piranha that had bitten him, even as Eugene pulled a face in disgust.
"Do I have to eat that?"
Before Miguel could answer, Eugene's new pet darted and grabbed the piranha, eagerly tucking into it.
"You are not keeping that thing." Tulio growled at his son, rubbing at his sore backend, before moving to try and get some sleep.
It wasn't like he was going to be getting anything to eat.
….
"You are having a bath!"
They'd been travelling for a little over a week now, and this was the first pool of water without leeches and piranhas in it, that they'd found. They all smelt and honestly, Miguel was seriously waiting until Eugene was asleep before throwing him into the pool.
"Eugene!" He called up to the tree, "Get down here and take a bath!"
"Flynn Rider doesn't have to take baths!"
"I swear to- "
"- Miguel." Tulio made his way over, wrapping an arm around Miguel's shoulders, "If he wants to stink, let him stink. He'll change his mind when even his precious pet starts to run away from him because of the smell."
Eugene just stuck his tongue out, making gagging noises as the pair undressed and jumped into the clear water.
And then he spotted the monkeys…. And said nothing as they started to steal the abandoned clothes.
"Hey!" Tulio was the first to spot a monkey running away with his pants, "Get back here!"
"My shirt!" Miguel was next to climb out, chasing after the second monkey, "Eugene! Why didn't you warn us?!"
Eugene just laughed, watching as his parents scrambled to catch up with the monkeys. "Shouldn't have tried to make me take a bath then!"
Later, as they continued on their way, Eugene couldn't help but smugly smirk at his parents, who were furiously scratching at themselves.
"Who's dirty now?!"
"Shut up Eugene."
…
Eugene honestly lost count of how many times they'd gotten lost over the next week.
He'd lost count of how many arguments the three of them had.
("You will hold one of our hands as we cross this log bridge!"
"Flynn Rider wouldn't- "
"- You are not Flynn Rider!")
The nights were full of strange noises and on occasion, terrible weather.
("Daddy… I'm scared!"
"I know…. We're here Eugene. We're here.")
From then on, it just seemed to get easier. They all laughed as they skidded down steep slopes on Altivo. Tulio started getting into the adventure. Pink butterflies flew all around them.
And then came the mist.
"Keep a tight hold of my shirt." Miguel ordered Eugene, keeping his own hand clasped around Tulio's shirt, who was holding onto Altivo's tail, "Don't let go."
"I can't see anything!"
"None of us CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!"
The floor fell out from under their feet, causing them all to scream in fear. Miguel wrapped his arms around Eugene, protecting him from the worst of the impact, as everything went black.
