Author's Notes: Hello everyone, Happy April Fools! No jokes from me, I promise. I feel like it would be too cruel. But I will say that I had a lot of fun replying to all of your reviews this week, you're all awesome. My week in Greece went amazing, I ate some fantastic food and met some very cool people and even put my feet in the very, very cold Mediterranean Sea. It was fun. Also, Whooo! We hit 850 reviews!
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Inugirl15, who was my 850th reviewer - Thank you so much for continuing to read and review YITM!
Awesome Betas: Not_Towa_Wakasa, Noir, Youngimoo
.
.
Chapter 48: Refusal
.
.
Inuyasha
In and out again.
In and out.
His consciousness came and went; a hazy blanket suffocating him, only waking once the pain befell him.
It unfurled inside him, the pain. It spread through his veins like liquid fire. Every molecule. Every nerve. It pressed around him, squeezing his insides, forcing wetness into his lungs. It became increasingly difficult to breathe.
And then there was the tearing. His skin ripping apart bit by bit, a consistent reminder that he was still trapped. Still imprisoned. And what-was-his was still kept from him.
And worse - far worse than that, she was slowly becoming them.
Inuyasha could not figure out why the wolf bastard had not yet claimed her. What-was-his was still fire and fury, a rage against those that tried to dominate her. She was ripe and ready, and he knew her secret was just the sort of thing the Wolf King would seek to control.
If there was one thing Inuyasha hated, it was losing that which he knew was already his.
He had watched, only moments ago, as she raged against him, the trail of her fingertips still scorched on his skin, cooling by the second. Eyes lit ablaze, she'd stared him down, unknowingly challenging him for dominance. The image of her under him, writhing with pleasure as he forced her to call his name flashed behind his eyes. He could practically taste her as her words of defiance fell from her lips:
"If the Inuyasha that I know is still in there anywhere, then he knows that I'm not leaving him to rot inside of you. I'll get the mirror and I will make you get inside. And then I will find a way to change you back."
Her challenge was a lit fuse of desire, even through his pain. His hands clenched into fists as his blood rushed below, ready and eager, eyes fastened as she turned and stormed from the room.
This woman was his only chance of escape. He had achieved it before, an escape via convincing her to kiss him free. Was it now simply a matter of convincing her once more to free him by way of deception? Could he persuade her to release him while still in his youkai form?
The thought tumbled in his head, and a plan formed as he felt his back rip open a fresh wound. The pain started anew, and slowly he succumbed to unconsciousness.
.
.
"Inuyasha… can you hear me?"
Her touch lit him on fire. It burned, painfully, but he leaned into it as his eyes opened, as his vision swam.
It was harder to breathe.
"Hey, I've got it. I've got your mirror," she said, brushing his hair back.
"Kagome, do not touch him," the wolf growled.
Slowly, Inuyasha's thoughts came back to him. His female was bent over at the waist, peering at him with wide, concerned eyes. Her hand gripped the top of his cursed mirror, the bottom pressed against the floor. His eyes swept across the glass, taking the image of himself in for the first time in a long time.
Pale, sickly skin, wet and dripping with sweat. Drowned, tangled hair and a blood-soaked white tee crusted and hanging from his shoulders. If only the wretched spell were lifted, if only his hands were free to do his bidding, he could slaughter the wolf and take his female and be done with it.
Yet any attempt at this moment would do him no good. He would have to bide his time and take every advantage he had. So for now, he kept silent.
"Inuyasha, can you hear me?" his female asked.
He responded by lifting his head towards her voice. He could make both she and his enemy out in the room. The cur stood behind her, his hand on her forearm. He watched as she pulled away from him and re-adjusted her robes, watched and kept silent, even though the image of the wolf touching her burned hot inside him.
"Kagome…" the wolf spoke, voice weak with worry.
"I don't need your help," she said before returning her gaze to where it should always be. "Inuyasha, you have to get into the mirror now."
Inhaling and exhaling as best he could, Inuyasha straightened out, just enough to release his shoulders of their strain, it was a struggle, but he would not allow the wolf to see how much it pained him.
"I've said it before. I will not."
"Kouga promised to release you if you get in the mirror."
"...No."
The Wolf King crossed his arms behind her. "Dog, you are more of a fool than I thought."
Inuyasha's eyes shifted to him, even as a new wound opened fresh across his back. "Not so foolish to know you will be killing me either way," he spat, ignoring his wound.
"I don't have time for this, I-"
"Kouga," a guard entered the room, "the sisters need you, a fight broke out and one has challenged the other."
The wolf snorted, "I'm in the middle of something, Ginta,"
"Yes sir, but the fight has left Dai severely injured and her mate is on the warpath…"
He grunted, irritated, before turning to Kagome. "I must leave you for a moment. Do. Not. Touch him."
She nodded, and with another challenging glance Inuyasha's way, the wolf left the room.
It was now, or it never would be. Inuyasha turned to pin his gaze on What-Was-His.
"Listen to me, woman. The spell is suppressing my hanyou form. I cannot release it while being subdued. I must be freed first."
Her eyebrow raised. "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"It does not matter if you are dimwitted or not, I tell you the truth."
"Inuyasha, I don't know how to free you even if I could. We've been over this before."
"All you must do is find out. You must get the information from the wolf."
"Kouga's not going to tell me how to free you either, you have a history of murdering his people."
He couldn't help but smirk. "I cannot lie and say I do not enjoy a good wolf-slaughter, but I was not of my own will at the time."
"Yeah, I realize that, but it won't convince him to free you. Not while we're surrounded by innocent wolves."
He huffed, "Innocent."
"Now," she ignored him, pushing his mirror closer, "get in."
His lip pulled back into a snarl. How dare she? "Foolish woman, you will demand nothing from me."
"Get. In."
"I will never."
"Get in!" she yelled, and pressed the mirror up against his face, pressed it against his cheek as if she didn't care that he might retaliate for her disrespect and slit her throat.
But then, pain! His back began to tear again, he felt it ripping open as the pain slammed into him anew. He threw his head back and let out an agonizing hiss.
"Inuyasha!" she cried, letting the mirror drop flat on the ground as she reached out to him, stopping only millimeters short. "Is it happening again? What can I do? What can I do to help with the pain?"
"Woman," he cursed, panting, "there's nothing that can be done but setting me free."
She shook her head in response, her eyes filling with her weak, human tears. "No, I need to help, I need… I need you," she said, voice cracking. She moved closer, her forehead pressed to his, her hands around the back of his neck. "Don't you remember?" she asked, eyes pleading. "Don't you remember any of it? Any of me?" Her bottom lip trembled.
Her scent filled his nose, now that she was so close. How was it that it overpowered the scent of his enemy that surrounded her? Why was it that she smelled so sweet, despite being covered by the wolf?
She was mumbling his name, her lids fluttering closed. "Come back to me," she whispered. "Please?"
At her mercy, weak and pathetic and soft like everything he despised, she kissed him. Her lips were warm against his, soft and supple. And sweet. Sweeter than fruit nectar, sweeter than he could remember as a hanyou. Her hands held him in place, as firm and strong as possible for her, a juxtaposition to her lips.
Heat pulsated through him, a warmth that seemed to come from inside her, a warmth that he drank eagerly.
"Inuyasha, come back to me," she whimpered, a call to his other half. But his hanyou was buried deep inside, and Inuyasha had what-was-his… Mine… to himself, and he wanted nothing more than to grab her by the hair and press her cheek into the dirt and nestle in behind her. Press himself into her and remind her why she was his.
Her touch caused his pain to subside. There was something he couldn't place that he drew from within her. He hardened for her, his hands fisting with the need to touch her, to press into her, to fill her just as the images filled his head. A frustrated whine surfaced from below, the need overwhelming to take and truly claim her so no one would be able to dispute it.
Again, his name fell from her lips, and she kissed him, and - damn these tethered hands - she was stepping closer, pressing herself to him. She called his name. Again and again. Her urgency accelerated and she whimpered before she was yanked from him.
"Kagome!" the wolf hissed, his hand around her arm, pushing her behind him.
"Wait," she gasped, breathless.
Rage built up inside Inuyasha. He grabbed at the chains that held him, pulling with all his might, as his anger overtook him, growling and snapping at the wolf, thrashing back and forth despite the tearing of his flesh.
"I told you not to touch him," the Wolf King berated, giving her a shake.
Inuyasha's breath was pushed from him. It was like putrid sick, rising up inside him, a second consciousness shoving at his very own for control. His vision swam against the second, new form of pain, one he didn't recognize. One that did not come from the spell.
Inuyasha, as a full youkai, never once had to deal with his hanyou-self. It stayed asleep inside him, knowing its place. So what was it now that caused it to rear up against him? How dare it demand anything?
Don't let that fucking bastard touch her! Let me out!
Shocked into stillness, Inuyasha froze. He could no longer focus on the sight of what-was-his arguing with the wolf. His attention was inward, his rage turned on himself. Stay silent, fool, he hissed to his hanyou, you will ruin everything.
Just let me speak to her, I can convince her to free us and get her away from the wolf!
If I was to allow such a thing, you will not give me control back.
That's not true, I'm collecting the jewel so we can be stronger! No more fighting our separate consciousness, no more separating ourselves, we will be one!
You have spent centuries hiding me away, shoving me back into nothingness. Do not think for a second that I will readily allow you to come forth and control me once more. No, I will convince the wench myself. He shoved his hanyou back, pressed forcefully against him, beating it into submission as he watched the wolf remove what-was-his from the room. Slowly the inner sickness subsided, and his attention returned to his surroundings.
The urge to chase after them would not come to fruition now, but it did not matter. What-was-his had tasted him once more. Her desire could not have been more clear. She would do what he asked. She would learn how to free him and he would take her away from the wolves, and he would claim her as his. And then his true plan for carving out his own territory would begin.
Afterall, it had been kept from him after all this time, the land that was truly his own.
And when what-was-his became too old and decrepit and useless to him, he would kill her and find a new mate. One whose body could stand against the ruthlessness of time. He could not help who his youkai was drawn to, but he would stay far away from humans. A full youkai with a rich bloodline like his own would do far better with a youkai mate.
He pushed back against his hanyou, who, to his surprise, thrashed violently against the thought of murdering the female, but Inuyasha knew what was best. What good would it do to keep her around if she no longer brought her warmth to him? After all, humans aged in the blink of an eye compared to youkai.
.
.
Kagome
His lips were the same, although the large fangs behind them were not. Neither were his eyes. Or his words. But Kagome felt the same warmth pool inside her abdomen, felt herself wetten and swell when she kissed him. The urge to take him inside of her was the same as the first day she met him, even as the monster he'd turned into. Even as he'd changed.
She was numb to the words Kouga lectured her with. She could see his frustration and anger. Although he'd given her a shake earlier, he hadn't hit her, he hadn't called her names, and once he saw that she wasn't reacting to his disapproval, he'd backed off.
Maybe it was the look on her face that had done it? She couldn't tell what she looked like, she'd left Inuyasha's mirror back in his prison, but she felt like the hole in her chest would open up and devour her. She probably looked like shit.
Once Kouga backed off, Kagome was able to convince him to allow Shippou to sleep in her room with her, though it took a while. She had to insist that yes, it was what she really wanted, and yes, he was going to be staying with her the whole time she was there, and no, she didn't need Ikue's help bathing him. She pushed and won, and now sat on the edge of the pool in her room, watching the little fox splash around in the glowing blue water. There was no guard standing outside. There had to be some way that Kouga was keeping an eye on her, but as far as she could tell, she and Shippou were given their privacy.
It would be the slip in observance that Kagome needed to get her and Inuyasha out of this mess. With Kouga refusing to release him from his magical binding, and Kagome's powers still nowhere to be found, it was the one chance she had. Shippou arriving had given her new hope.
He had already gone above and beyond in proving himself to be trustworthy and dependable. Not only had he saved her from the Naraku youkai, what with running to fetch Inuyasha despite his fear, but he'd also not given up on finding them again when they'd been split up. As strange as it was to admit it, Shippou had become a part of her family in such a short time. The thought of leaving him somewhere, either out in the wild to fend for himself or here with the wolves, was impossible.
And yet, she was going to ask him to prove himself once more.
He was laughing as she splashed some water in his face, and he kicked around and floated on his back in the deeper part of the pool. Kagome smiled as he floated towards her. "Shippou, can we talk about something?"
He turned upright and nodded his head.
"You know how the wolves aren't very nice to you?"
He frowned. "Yeah."
"They're not being very nice to Inuyasha either. They won't let him go."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"They're hurting him, and they won't stop hurting him. You know how Inuyasha is a hanyou, right? Well, right now he's a full youkai, like you and Kouga are. And they won't release him while he's the way he is. Do you understand?"
He nodded again, this time slowly. She could practically see his brain processing the information.
"I didn't know what to do until you showed up. Seeing you be so brave makes me brave too! You brought Inuyasha's mirror and my pack. You're my hero." She smiled as he beamed up at her.
"I can do lots of brave things, Kagome!"
She laughed. "Of course you can! And because you're so brave, I need your help again. Do you remember my powers? Yeah? Well, I can't use them right now, and I need you to help me get them back. Do you think you can do that for me?"
His nod was vigorous this time. "I can do anything you need me to do!" he exclaimed, climbing out of the water and onto the floor. He shook the excess water off of himself, much to Kagome's amusement.
She moved to him, sitting back on her haunches so she could speak to him in a low voice. She reached into her robes and pulled out the jewel shards. "I need you to bring these to a friend of mine. She's the one who taught me how to control my powers, and she's the only one I know who might be able to help. I need you to tell her where I am. Tell her that Inuyasha is in trouble. Tell her that I can't get him to change back to hanyou, and the wolves won't let him go, and I need her to help me get my powers back."
His eyes grew as she spoke, wider and wider, and Kagome took her chance at his stillness and reached out for his hand, placing the pocket of jewel shards in his palm.
"Do you think you can sneak out of here tonight? Do you think you can leave without being caught?"
His brows furrowed together, and he nodded. "I can do it."
.
.
Midnight had passed - at least, she thought it had - and Kagome now sat on the floor, her back pressed up against her bed of pelts, her backpack open next to her. The calendar that Kaede had so thoughtfully packed for her was still intact, and she flipped through it now, trying to find the last point where she'd been marking the days off.
Shippou had snuck out hours ago, successfully, she hoped. Her heart ached for the little youkai. For the fact that he was still so eager to help despite how tired he was. For the fact that he was so small and caught up in something so much bigger than he could ever really imagine. And now, without her powers and without the jewel shards, she could do nothing but wait. Wait and hope that somehow, Kaede would be able to help her. She couldn't think of any way such help would be possible, but giving up hope now would be accepting defeat, and while Inuyasha was still alive, she was not defeated.
She was alive, and she was not defeated.
The calendar now lay open in her lap. She had found the last day she marked and counted from there. She counted…
And yes, it was just as she suspected.
Slowly, she leaned forward and poked at the ground near her feet. She dragged her fingertip through the dirt, a crude drawing of a cake, with frosting and candles on top. She drew the little flames, imagining that they flickered to life.
She hadn't noticed that her eyes filled with water. That a tear had escaped and fallen from her lashes, plopping right in the middle of her drawing.
Kagome's special day had now passed, alone and without a friend in sight. As of today, Kagome was eighteen years of age. As of today, Kagome was an adult.
"Happy Birthday to me," she sang, voice wobbling as she allowed her sorrow to take over.
.
.
See you in two weeks!
~SugarRos
