So. Mom was in a hospital, too.
Hannei Tsutomi - Kishi Otani.
After Recovery Girl found out about my little escapade she all but dragged me back to my new digs in the recovery ward, steaming like the gross vegetables she'd be all but forcing down my throat over the next couple of days. All Might indeed checked himself into a hospital room and the students, after swooning for a solid five minutes and asking unparalleled personal questions concerning my relationship status, filed out one by one, shepherded by Manami and the entirety of a very relieved nursing staff.
Shota Aizawa, meanwhile, was graced by the favoritism of more than one Chiyo. No one questioned his past-visiting-hours lingering. A voice was never so much as raised in his direction, much to my moody disappointment.
In a fun-house mirror the USJ hospitalization repeated itself, roles reversed- I received the bed and Recovery Girl gifted a small loveseat to my relentless, pale visitor, pulled so close the cushions nearly looked like an extension of my mattress.
No amount of badgering could force him from my side, dryly responding along the lines of not trusting my reckless decision making skills and irrational bursts of explosive emotions. The sly-smiled medic and Dr. Nao both seemed to agree with his points of argument. If I didn't know better, I'd say Dr. Nao looked relieved by my new personal guard dog's presence.
Babysitter, more like it.
"Did she tell you what her quirk is, exactly?"
Shota made a nondescript noise around the hair tie in his mouth. With my busted arm still healing, a simple task such as putting my hair up proved near impossible. He was careful not to tug too hard on the baby hairs at the nape of my neck, fingers cool against my scalp.
And while the idea of having someone else do a function I should clearly be able to handle was humiliating, no girl could resist someone playing with their hair.
My heart squeezed with the hair tie, head topped with a big, goofy bun.
"She called it desiccation. She was drying out the water molecules surrounding neurons in your hippocampus and amygdala regions of your brain, specifically, to alter your behavior and memory."
Even the peach fuzz of my face seemed to stand on edge. Shota gauged my reaction carefully, silently. After finishing with my hair he left a breadth between us, as if realizing I might need a moment to process.
Mom was...physically altering my brain?
I reached for my thermos, as parched as my mind had been. Shota lifted the metal bottle for me with a quick glance at my abdomen- a subject I wasn't quite yet ready to breach, either.
"Mom said there wasn't a way to reverse...what she did, but I think there is- submersion. It has to be your whole body, and I don't know whether you have to at least be aware of the mental tampering, or what. I think that's why my- why Kotaro tried to drown her." Us. I'm glad I stopped before calling him the "f" word; he wasn't, would never be. "I wonder why she told you there wasn't, though?"
Shota seemed to have forgotten I knew him, every memory restored, as he pointedly looked away. I drew a droplet of water onto my thumb and flicked it towards his face- a direct hit. He frowned, more at the quirk use than the act itself.
"I think...She was hopeful you wouldn't remember," He did take my hand in his this time, as gentle as his words. "Not that you wouldn't remember your life, but her actions. I think Hannei was afraid that if you did regain full memory, she would lose you permanently."
"Selfish to the end, huh."
Even I didn't believe myself. A thumb brushed across my knuckles, patient. "I guess I can understand. It doesn't mean I've forgiven her yet, but...I know she loved- loves- me." A slice of pain at the notion, of the complications her love brought. "There was just something broken inside her that never saw repair."
An image of a white-haired boy rose and fell like a dying flare at the mention of fragile things.
"When will the police come to interview me? Not over Mom, but the League of Villains. Tomura Shigaraki." I sat up a little straighter. "Also, I'm ready to see Toshinori. All Might."
Shota at least had the decency to look guilty. He had known, after all.
"Recovery Girl has forbidden them from entering the hospital; upon your release, I suspect they'll be waiting at the doors. All Might was officially released yesterday but took residence in a spare room, for when you're ready to talk to him."
Shota had filled in the gaps of Mom's story over the past two days, slowly piecing together a solid-colored puzzle of unbelievable events. Aside from his fanatic agenda, the computer screen's words rang true: Kotaro Shimura, despite his crimes, had been kept protected by the very people who promised society's safety.
I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready to speak to Toshinori's living mentor- Gran Torino- who had willingly allowed the events of my mother's trauma to unfold in order to uphold a foolhardy promise. Had he even considered Kotaro might harm someone else, or what damage had really been done to Mom?
A hospital was the safest, best place for her. I doubted anything less than a professional team could work through her trauma.
Sneaky fingers abandoned my hand and crawled up the underside of my arm, seeking out their favorite moon. The stupid machine monitoring my vitals gave a giddy little hiccup. I glared at its betrayal, even as a crinkle turned Shota's face soft.
"I'll probably have a few more, when they finally let me out of here."
Shota hummed, sliding closer to let his mouth adventure where his hand had. The monitor jumped into a jolly little cadence. It was my turn to make an indiscernible sound. He'd found his destination, body warm against my side, careful not to put pressure on any injured areas. I wish I could've enjoyed the attention.
But the hollowness since awakening only grew with his affection, delving me deeper into the pit.
I have to tell him.
"Hey."
I blinked in surprise at the charcoal eyes watching mine, only a few breaths apart. With me in the depths I hadn't noticed him move, one hand gentle again the curve of my face. Even the monitor had slowed; I'd completely disengaged for a moment.
"What's wrong?"
Everything.
"I just...I'm ready to go home," It wasn't technically a lie. Oddly, a crawling blush took hold of Shota's neck. He pulled away, just slightly.
"About that."
No. There was no way in hell I'd be staying here, or going anywhere similar. "What do you mean?" A dozen reasons fought a hundred excuses as to why I shouldn't- wouldn't- stay in a hospital or protective custody as I gripped his closest arm in a fierce hold. "I wasn't the real target of the League of Villains; I don't need to stay locked up and hidden somewhere-"
"No, nothing like that."
The more I stared, the more Shota's blush seemed...sheepish. When he ran a hand through his hair I became positively scrutinizing. A frog jumped into his throat and he coughed, taking his time.
"I told you the students accessed your apartment and were able to glean information from your neighbor, thanks to that Gen Ed student, Hitoshi Shinso. Originally, the students and Manami only relayed relative information. Later, however…"
"Later...what?"
We owed this man a great deal; without his observations concerning my mom's behavior and Tomura Shigaraki entering the apartment, Mom might never have admitted to her quirk. Contrary to Shota's pinched face, he'd been a great help.
"He was watching you, Chiyo. Constantly. When Shinso left the door open he came right over and tried to wander in. He-" Shota took a slow breath. "The way he spoke about you- even the kids could tell what kind of person he was."
"So you don't want me to live there, anymore?" Perverts weren't ideal, but I had just survived a den of villains and splattered a Nomu's innards like Hanabi Taikai. Surely I could handle one little creep.
"You...can't live there, anymore. I sort of...Complicated things for you."
Shota very decidedly looked anywhere other than my gaping face.
"He was practically stalking you- it had been days since we'd even had a good lead-"
"Shota, what did you do?"
"I...took some of my anger out. On him." He scratched at his head, grimacing. "...Physically."
Ethics were my specialty. I'd spent four and a half grueling years being hit over the head with the hard questions, situations balancing on a thread between right and wrong, formulating twenty-page essays advocating for the end of armed civilians within society and violence in general. Violence was never the answer, I'd argue in every single class, lecture, and speech.
But listening to Shota Aizawa confess to beating the shit out of the creep neighbor who watched me like a predator, waiting for his chance to strike, was nearly the most attractive utterance I'd ever heard.
"My actions aren't excusable. He isn't going to press charges, but he did demand you be evicted-"
Was it just some trait Darwinism hadn't removed from us, finding protective aggression attractive? I pondered the concept while tugging at his shirt, smothering out the rest of his words. He seemed hesitant- from either my injuries or fearful the antic might be a trick, I didn't know- so I dipped my fingers under the line of his jaw, tangled them in his hair, keeping him close.
Was beating up the slime ball across the hallway a professional hero move? Certainly not, I thought as Shota's tentativeness melted at last, licking his way into my mouth, molding a hand to the hollows between my ribs. His ribs, I remembered, feeling the sureness of his heart under my palm.
A sudden rain shower interrupted before I could even reminisce on the memory of that night, pulling us apart with a hiss.
"Shota Aizawa! How many times did I tell you!"
Where had she gotten a squirt bottle?
Her creased face angrily folded on all corners, finger still on the trigger. "Chiyo needs rest, peace and tranquility. Every time that monitor goes over eighty, Dr. Nao has a panic attack!" Recovery Girl squirted him directly in the face. "I know it's hard for you, but control yourself. No smooching, and absolutely nothing under the gown!"
"Oh my god," I breathed, hiding my strawberry face behind both hands. "Please, please make her stop-"
"And you, missy!" By a divine ethical code, the medic spared her injured patient a direct hit; instead a damp spot appeared uncannily close to my beet-red temple. "Don't encourage him!"
Shota's face flattened with the blame. "She's the one who-"
I shot him a sympathetic smile when the water disappeared from my pillow and doused his face once again, aided by submersion's touch. This time, I was not spared Recovery Girl's liquid wraith.
"And no quirk using! No powers, no over-excitement, no sex!"
"But Moooom," I groaned. Both looked at me in surprise. Apparently with my memories a new cheekiness had also surfaced.
I was awarded with another wet splurt in my face.
"Is this...a bad time?"
During the madness a sunflower had taken root in the doorway, hovering as if unsure which way the sun would rise. I used Shota's sleeve to dry my face with a pointed look to Recovery Girl. She snorted but didn't attack again.
"No, please, come in."
Toshinori did a weird jig with the exiting medic until she hit him in the shins with her cane, muttering all the while.
"Do you mind if Shota stays?"
"I don't have to-" He began rising to his feet. I grabbed his arm with a sweet smile.
"Why would you get to leave? You both lied to me, after all. Along with Kayama, Yamada, Principal Nezu, Thirteen, the entire faculty-"
"It's not their fault," Toshinori- All Might- cut in quickly. I'd have to decide how to address him moving forward. "They all wanted to tell you; I tried several times to, but-" An all-too-familiar head scratch. "There's no excuse, Chiyo. But I'm solely to blame. I understand regaining your trust might not even be possible with the damage I've done, but please know I never meant for any of this to happen."
"I should hope not," I snorted, again surprising myself with the bluntness I'd developed. Was this a side effect of spending too much time with Eraserface, or had I always secretly been like this? I gave my attention back to Toshinori. "Did you know? About my parents, I mean. Or what your teacher did?"
"No," Toshi answered so roughly there was no doubt he told the truth. "I had no knowledge of such an occurrence. There is no way to compensate for his shameful actions, but Gran Torino has insisted on covering all of Hannei Tsutomi's medical and rehabilitation expenses for the indefinite future. Again, there is no righting his transgression, but no amount of arguing will persuade him to end the donation."
Money? I didn't want his fucking money; I wanted a stable, non-petrified mother who hadn't spent her life constantly looking over her shoulder. My limbs felt leaden.
"Before the USJ attack, at the bar. Were you trying to tell me you were All Might then?"
"Yes."
Looking at him now, I felt stupid all over again. The hair. The eyes. Why his clothes always seemed five times too large for his skinny little body. The loose material made room for-
A garbage truck of realizations slammed into me so hard I choked on my own spit.
"Chiyo?" Shota rubbed my back in obvious concern, Toshinori shooting to my other side. I slapped them both away, skin a hellish inferno as I covered my face, knees drawn up to give me an extra layer of armadillo-level protection.
"Oh my god. Oh my god," Recovery Girl would be here in seconds if I didn't calm down, but by Present Mic's glasses, the shit I'd said about All Might to All Might. "Toshinori. Shit. I hit on All Might so hard in front of you- I made so many comments about his ass, and his-"
If I went into cardiac arrest, let it be known I was a Do Not Resuscitate; let me die a painful, justified death from humiliation.
Shota's snickering was only made worse by Toshi's head-thrown laughter. I watched them between my fingers. These two men who knew me so well, laughing together over my complete, body-flushing humiliation.
"I'll admit, I was pretty uncomfortable when you told me you already had boy and girl names picked out for our golden-mane angel babies," Toshinori admitted with a chuckle.
And just like that the embarrassment blew out like a candle, replaced with the looming darkness of earlier. A sharp pain sliced between my left ribs. Were comments like this going to hurt me now? I recovered quickly, able to hide behind my lingering blush.
"I can't believe you let me babble on without saying something."
"It was kind of nice. I got to experience a fan first-hand without feeling like I had to perform,"
"You don't even know the half of it- she had a named mission to snag you. What was it called? Operation Thunder-"
I slapped a hand across Shota's smirking mouth in the nick of time. Bristles moved against my fingers when he smiled. I tried to ignore the slight bounce in the monitor when two grey eyes crinkled in my direction, looking away in a sullen pout.
"You guys are assholes."
"To be fair, Aizawa harassed me from the beginning to tell you and continued on about every single day with more and more animosity- to the point where I nearly avoided your UA hallway altogether," The blonde skeleton chuckled. "And, while we're on the topic, I don't think Aizawa slept a single day you were gone."
Shota shot Toshinori a look- one he ignored with ease. "He wouldn't rest until we found you. Even put me in my place a few times, too. I've never seen someone more dedicated to a cause than he was to saving you."
"I didn't save her; she doesn't need saving-"
"No, you saved me."
The reddening steadily growing in his neck increased when I reached out and took his hand with a grin. "Without you, I wouldn't have broken through the fog. But you disrupted my well-laid plan and showed up anyway, and then I saved you. Both of you." I took Toshinori's hand, too. My left arm took longer to obey the command, veins still groggy from their blowout. "So I'd say we're all pretty even. For now."
"But-"
"Nope." I sliced.
Toshinori sighed. "What about-"
"Nope."
"There's no point in trying, All Might. She's as stubborn as a fucking mule," Shota muttered, though there was a glimmer of fondness tucked in his tone. I squeezed his hand; a gentle pressure answered.
"What about your surgery, though?" The beacon of bones just couldn't help himself. My grin took more effort this time.
"The Nomu's spike ruptured my appendix. Fortunately though, you can live without them."
Toshinori visibly sagged with relief.
Another set of eyes, though, was far too keen.
"I...missed finals, huh," If my basic math skills still held true, the next term would already be looming. Would Principal Nezu at least allow me to add the grades I already had ready at home?
Speaking of homes and my lack thereof.
"So if I'm evicted from my apartment, where's all my stuff?" Panic ripped across my face. "Where's Nasu? Oh, shit, Nasu- he was at the video store-"
"Nasu's at my place, along with the items I'd thought you would want from your apartment. Hannei took the majority of your clothing and more personal belongings when she abducted you."
There was a lot to unload here. I wasn't sure where to begin.
"So my stuff is still at her apartment?" I realized I knew the address, now. Shota nodded. "And you found Nasu?"
I also realized why Nasu had never trusted Mom now, too. Or Toshinori.
"I couldn't believe the way that cat ran into Aizawa's arms; you'd think they were bonded for life." Toshi laughed.
I sniffed. "Nasu is an excellent judge of character."
Toshinori laughed again and even a bristled mouth smiled. I tried to share their joviality while also coming to terms with the notion that I was currently homeless. Little practical-orphan Chiyo, with nowhere to go.
Mom's apartment was out of the question and asking my boyfriend of a few months felt insanely inappropriate. Was there a cupboard in Manami's bookstore, perhaps? Surely I still had access to my banking account. Mom hadn't controlled that aspect of my life too, had she? How long would it take to find an apartment both in my budget and near UA? Maybe I could live in my car- or was that illegal?
"So, this is what you were talking about."
"Mhm."
"Do you-"
"If steam starts rising from her head you should interrupt, yeah. Otherwise she'll fry her hard drive and probably combust or blow something up."
I glared at the smirking duo of morons.
"It's so kind, how you disparage the wounded like this."
"You're being released tomorrow; I'd hardly consider you wounded."
"Hey, so what's with the gnarled flesh you have going on?" The wounded comment recalled the weird connection I'd at least somewhat noticed between Toshinori and All Might. Instead of a panicked attack like last time, Toshinori simply lifted his shirt. "Oh."
"Half my respiratory organs were destroyed in a fight a few years back."
The injury was worse than I'd expected; even after all this time the skin looked inflamed, poorly sutured together and swirling into a bruised vortex. He tensed when my fingertips grazed the contorted flesh. Indeed, it was still hot to the touch.
"Who...Who could do this?" To All Might? I finished mentally. My sunflower had already suffered enough without me adding insult to injury. He seemed to be struggling to answer as it was. I moved back onto the pillows and his head lowered along with the shirt's hem.
"I...It's crazy to me, now, how I didn't see the resemblance between you and my master. Nana Shimura," He chuckled; a melancholy sound. "You're more petite, and her hair was a lot more simple, but there's a familiarity in both your faces."
Again the monitor betrayed my facade, noting my rising emotions without consent. Shota shifted in his seat, a restless guardian noting the change, but said nothing. Toshinori gave me a weak smile.
"I- we- didn't know any of this prior to your abduction. I had no idea my master had a son, let alone a granddaughter. She was like a mother to me, so when we- I- learned of your heritage, my blind dedication to her memory blurred my path in terms of how to proceed with your rescue. Please, forgive me."
Regulation wasn't a concept I particularly enjoyed anymore- not after learning its origin story. So I took a few slow breaths all on my own, taking my time to manage a response; "What was she like?"
"Tough. Kind. Stubborn."
"How did she die?"
"Fighting the same villain who gave me this injury."
Wait. "Did you- you couldn't have been fighting them at the same time, right?" That couldn't be possible. "She died decades ago; how could a villain still be so powerful years later?"
When he looked at me with those piercing, serious eyes, I couldn't believe I never realized his true identity.
"Chiyo, there's more to my power than people know."
All Might was going to fail.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.
But soon.
Could the world handle such an event? Could Toshinori?
I had went a little berserk when he revealed the unabridged story, from the gaining of One for All via Nana Shimura to how quirkless Izuku Midoriya fit into the picture, and what that meant for his own power, eliciting a squirt-bottled medic to rage in and lay down martial law, threatening me with shots if I didn't stop trying to strangle the world's number one hero with my bare hands. Toshinori made a quick getaway, bashfully waving before slipping out while Recovery Girl had me distracted.
He'd been carrying this around for weeks- months- listening to me whine about my own fickle problems. I had to keep the monitor under sixty-five or Recovery Girl would for sure boot out even Shota, maybe even put me into a medically-induced coma.
An infinite number of tasks lay before me- each more harrowing than the last.
Izuku Midoriya wasn't ready for such a mantle.
When the pieces fell, where would my friend- the sweet, selfless man I knew, unveiled at last- where would he fall?
And who would be there to catch him?
A bristly chin razed my temple, glancing down to view the tail-end of my sigh.
"Something troubling you, Tsutomi?"
"Just life, Aizawa." I readjusted, still concerned for the arm gingerly wrapped around my shoulders he swore hadn't fallen asleep.
Shota was the kryptonite to all Chiyos, indeed; Recovery Girl hadn't even scolded him for being on the bed (albeit above the sheet. Was that the uncrossable line?), instead teeming with that embarrassing grandma cooing that made even the stolid Eraser Head uncomfortable. My tantrums had been pacified, it seemed, so maybe that's why the medic hadn't made another round in a few hours now.
His long legs stretched out far past the blanketed form of mine, crossed at the ankles with one foot silently bouncing against the other.
"I didn't mean to insinuate you had to stay with me when I said Nasu and your items were at my apartment," He drummed tunelessly against my arm; to dispel nerves? "There's the spare bedroom, if that would be more comfortable. There's a few modest hotels near UA, as well. Principal Nezu is in the works of creating dorms for the hero course students; I could see if the faculty apartment is ready-"
"You don't need to go through all that trouble," The spare bedroom in comparison to what, staying in his room? Did he think I wouldn't want to stay with him? I only worried suggesting so would freak him out; we hadn't been together that long. Would it be weird? Too much in too small an amount of time?
I allowed regulation to take a bit of control, considering my current situation strapped to a damned lie-detector-heart-monitor. The rhythm remained at a healthy sixty-five. "If, um. If you're okay with me staying with you, then-"
"Why wouldn't I be?" He seemed genuinely surprised at the questioning comment, and a wave of melted chocolate poured through my veins. His heart thumped against my cheek as I snuggled in. "It's for the best, anyway. I'd hate to see how you'd react when Nasu refused to leave me.
I snorted. "You're only his favorite when I'm not available."
"We'll see," He hummed. Drowsiness kissed my senses, weighed my limbs with stones. The impressive heat radiating from his body wasn't helping, either. I cleared my throat and tried to wade through the calling.
"So this All for One person. If he's really strong enough to have beaten Nana Shimura and nearly taken out Toshinori, how has he been able to survive underground so long? Surely investigators and heroes alike have been keeping eyes out."
"I'm not sure. It's possible he's used an alias, or has influential ties to keep out of sight."
Toshinori had nearly burst into his muscle form when I described the man in the computer. He had known information no regular person should and definitely fit the bill of the fanatic-kill-All-Might-nutcase Toshi described All for One to be, but he'd never given me a name, location, or real plan, outside of taking down the world's symbol of peace.
"I wish I could've gained more information. That was a perfect opportunity-"
"Hannei's desiccation still lingered in your neurons, every tie you'd known to be true had been unraveled, and you were being used as basic bait to murder All Might. I'd say you did an admirable job, given the circumstances."
"You keep calling her Hannei instead of- of Kishi," Toshinori had, too. "Why?"
Shota shifted -I knew his arm would go numb- and rolled onto his side. I followed suit, taking in the face nearly touching my own. Already he looked ten times better than before, skin less sallow, closer to his normal shade of ivory. My hands moved like magnets to his chest and color warmed his neck; I don't think either of us would ever grow accustomed to the tenderness of the other.
"For a long time I couldn't understand why- especially after you knew what she was doing- how you could want to protect her. I couldn't comprehend either of your actions- how someone could throw away all rationality for a single individual. But then you went missing, and I started to understand."
I waited, smoothed the hair from his temple. His lungs rose once, twice, each slow tides.
"I'd told you the day before how you terrify me- how a life without a goofy, grinning, maddening Chiyo Tsutomi would make my life unworthy of vibrancy, and within twenty-four hours you seemed to disappear from the planet, and every fear I'd harbored became reality. But that- that wasn't even the worst part."
Had I been breathing? Was I breathing now? With the way his eyes seemed to drink in my face, serious but made of soft liquid, I felt like a little kid left on a cliffhanger. "What was the worst part?"
"I hadn't even told you I loved you. I'd said you terrified me, and then you poured your heart between my ribs, and the last meaningful comment I'd made was over my fear, rather than telling you even one of the million other ways you make me feel. When you show up in those absurd dresses, it takes everything in me to focus on teaching, to not walk across the hall and take you away. You're beautiful, and kind in a way that radiates. I've never met someone who appreciates naps and cats as much as you do."
My hand had frozen in place; he caught it, lowered it between our bodies, watched my fingers with an indiscernible expression.
"I found myself trying to remember a dozen events each day you were gone, to tell you about later, when you returned; how Minoru Mineta, of all people, took Operation Submersion the most seriously; how Momo Yaoyorozu stormed the building and refused to leave until she was given the latest updates on her favored mentor; how you were right about Toshinori's abysmal eating habits after I witnessed him eat two cans of Pringles back to back- no wonder you were finding ways to keep snacking at school."
I laughed- a wet, gross sound. He smiled, wiping away the gallon of tears pouring from my face.
"I'd wake up and you wouldn't be there. I'd turn to touch you and all that remained was the scent of your hair, or a wisp of your perfume. I- we- weren't supposed to go after you, but we couldn't let you go, Chiyo. I couldn't let one more second pass not knowing if you were safe. Even if you hadn't regained your memory, even if you never remembered me and I had to stay a foreigner in your life, I couldn't let you go. And then Hannei's actions, your actions, began to make a little sense. When you love someone, you let them consume you."
"I love you, too."
I hadn't said it before; there hadn't been any time.
Now, watching his eyes widen, color warm his throat again, I was glad to have this moment, his face, all to myself.
There was an invisible bridge over the hollow pit in my stomach, fortified only by faith. By the glowing warmth of his shy smile, I stepped onto the air.
"It wasn't my appendix the Nomu hit."
When I'd stopped blubbering his hand had slid into my hair, freed from its earlier bun. His caressing fingers never even wavered; I knew he'd known my earlier lie. It was his turn to patiently give me time to continue. Vines had grown in my lungs, raveled around my vocal chords. I swallowed, tried again.
"Recovery Girl could've healed an organ injury, but the pool was laden with bacteria. When the spike ripped through one of my fallopian tubes, bacteria filtered through. I was given the choice of going through a series of treatments- with both no guaranteed success and a higher chance of complications- or a partial hysterectomy."
For some reason, these tears felt more embarrassing. My body curled in on itself, trying to wither away from his gentle touch. The monitor gave a nervous tick, but I couldn't calm down.
I had never even considered the idea before.
But now, realizing what I wasn't capable of, something seemingly every other woman could create, ripped the ground out from under me. I had gained an inadequacy I would likely never be able to reverse. I was damaged goods, broken out of the box.
It wasn't anger or even sadness that plagued my body- it was shame.
"I'm glad you chose the surgery."
He hadn't stopped me from pulling away, but hadn't left, either. Instead one arm still warmed my spine, eyes still molten silver on my face. "It must have been such a difficult decision; I can't even imagine. But I'm glad you're safe, Chiyo. I wouldn't want to see you suffer more."
"I can understand if- This isn't what you signed up for. Not that we were- I just-"
Recovery Girl would be bursting in any second now. The notion somehow became the tipping point; my breath caught in a choked breath and I pulled away, away from him, from my failed attempt to give him an easy out, from the way the vines grew thorns and ripped apart the rest of my organs to match my lower half.
I didn't even make it to the edge of the bed.
If the elder medic did indeed enter the room, I couldn't see her.
All I felt were his ribs around my heart, arms protecting me from the world.
He didn't let go.
Not when I soaked through his shirt.
Not when I told him to leave.
Not when the sun fell from the sky and the earth melted into a quiet abyss, blanketed by a sky that replicated my heart.
Instead he held me until there was nothing left but the soft breath between us, consuming my sorrows as his own.
"Your ribs are mine, Chiyo," He murmured into my hair. "And mine are yours."
