Everyone snickered at the chapter title; only Percy could find a way to accidentally vaporize someone.

"Only you, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth shook her head, still chuckling, and Percy frowned, "How do you know it's me?"

"Sounds like something that goes through your head." Thalia snickered, before she started reading.

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.

There were nervous chuckles all around the room from the Greek demigods, and Percy groaned, "And it's from my point of view? This sucks even more!"

"Yay us." Triton rolled his eyes, wondering just why he had been dragged into something so stupid.

If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:

"Get down! Hit the floor!" Annabeth grinned, "Percy's giving advice!"

The gods looked at each other in confusion, and Persephone asked, "It can't be that bad... right?"

Annabeth shook her head, "Percy's advice is... questionable at best. Don't get his advice any anything unless it's related to to fighting."

close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.

Nico had a mock expression of surprise on his face, "Percy can give good advice?"

"I'm not that stupid!" Percy protested.

"Close the book! Close the book!" Leo chanted, and Travis and Conner both join in the chant before Katie grumbled, "That's enough, you three!"

"Hey! I think I'm a half-blood!" Leo protested, and the two sons of Hermes nodded, "Yeah!"

"Would that even work?" Juniper asked, "I thought even the slightest knowledge about your heritage would make you more susceptible to monster attacks, even if you doubt it."

"If you're a child of a minor god, then that could work." Grover shrugged, "Your scent wouldn't be too strong in the first place. But if your parents is an Olympian... that would be terrible advice."

Being a half-blood is dangerous.

"Yep."

It's scary.

"Double yep."

Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.

"And triple yep." All the demigods chorused.

The gods just stared at their kids with mildly guilty expressions on their faces; most of them knew what had occurred during the Second Titan War and the Second Giant war, but other than that... it couldn't be that bad, right?

"Or, you know." Thalia shrugged, "You can get turned into a tree."

Zeus looked slightly guilty, while the Romans looked over at Thalia, confused.

"A tree?"

"Or a dandelion." Thalia added, and Nico glared at her.

"Or a guinea pig." Annabeth giggled, and Percy groaned.

If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.

Rachel laughed, "I'm probably the most normal kid here, and I believe all of this has happened."

But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately.

"Stop reading!" Travis yelled, and Katie whacked him on the head, "Don't be silly!"

"But we were told to stop reading if we felt something stirring inside!" Connor gasped, holding his hand to his chest, "We feel... something stirring!"

Hermes laughed at his kids antics, and wrapped his arms around them. He wanted to get as close to his kids as possible, seeing as Zeus couldn't do anything against the will of the fates.

You might be one of us.

Rachel snickered, "You make us sound like a cult."

"Sadly, you're not a part of the cult." Percy shook his head, but Rachel puffed her chest out, "Well... I might not have any godly blood, but I am the oracle! I'm eligible to join!"

And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.

The demigods winced at the memories of all the monsters they had to fight.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

"We haven't been warned." Leo shook his head, "Nope! Absolutely not! Never!"

Piper groaned, and Calypso was doing her best to stifle her laughter.

My name is Percy Jackson.

"No, it's Peter Johnson." Grover bleated.

"His name is Pedro Johan." Malcom giggled under his breath.

Annabeth shook her head, as Percy let out a dry grin, "Nah, I'm Perry Johanssan."

Most of the Greek demigods snickered as Dionysus pretended to fall asleep while putting his arms around Dakota and Pollux. The gods and Romans just looked confused, and looked at each other, not knowing what was going on with the Greek demigods.

I'm twelve years old.

"What? How... old!?" Piper squeaked.

"You went on your first quest when you were twelve?" Reyna raised an eyebrow at Percy, who shrugged. Triton blinked at Percy, surprised; he wasn't good with human years, but he did know that twelve was a relatively young age for a human.

And presumably, his half-brother had succeeded in his quest? That was interesting, for sure.

Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.

"I've heard of that school." Hermes muttered, and Connor asked, "Why?"

"Lots of field trips, especially compared to other schools. It does get my attention, as the God of Travelers. Plus, several other demigods do end up in that school due to ADHD and dyslexia. Their parents do ask me to keep an eye on them from time to time." Hermes stated.

Percy turned to the god, "Did my mom ever ask you to look out for me?"

Poseidon butt into the conversation, "I wanted to ask him, actually, but Sally told me that she would rather keep the gods out of your life until absolutely necessary."

Am I a troubled kid?

"Yes." Annabeth stated, "Definitely."

The demigods all nodded in unison, and Artemis gave a light chuckle, "Not going to defend yourself, Percy?"

Some of the gods looked at Artemis questioningly, as Percy pouted, "Honestly? Nope. I'm a trouble magnet. I attract trouble... for some reason."

Yeah. You could say that.

The demigods let out a laugh, and Apollo grinned, "Your twelve year old self also agrees!"

"I get into a lot of trouble." Percy grumbled, "And most of the time, it isn't even my fault."

I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it,

Thalia stopped reading, and raised an eyebrow questioningly at Percy, "Miserable? You had Aunt Sally with you!"

Percy tried to avoid her gaze, as the rest of the demigods turned to face him. The son of the sea god let out a weak shrug, "I was an overdramatic twelve year old. Just like Nico was a hyperactive-"

"Percy, shut up!" Nico whined, his face turning red. Will let out a laugh as he wrapped an arm around the son of Hades.

Michael raised an eyebrow at his sibling, before he turned away from Will and Nico. He didn't remember much of Nico, since the boy had left camp before he had really gotten to know anyone well, but he seemed to be good for Will, and vice versa.

but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan—twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

Annabeth's face lit up, "That sounds awesome!"

I know—it sounds like torture.

Athena and Annabeth both spluttered, as the rest of the demigods, as well as some of the gods, laughed at the two females.

"It's actually not that bad." Percy grinned, "It's just... the "mental-case kids" that were the problem."

Most Yancy field trips were.

"But why! Field trips are awesome!" Connor piped up, and Travis added, "Plenty of opportunities to steal things!"

Hermes laughed as he hugged his sons, as Athena looked scandalized, "It's a museum! You should be learning! Not stealing ancient historical artefacts!"

"I meant stealing from the gift shop." Connor grinned, and high-fived his brother.

But Mr Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

"Who? If he's named, he should be important... but we don't know any Mr Brunners." Clarisse raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Grover clarified, "That was actually Chiron."

"Oh. I see."

Mr Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.

"That's a pretty nice description of Chiron. And accurate." Chris nodded, "I wonder how we would be described as."

As he said that, he tensed, and immediately regretted it. If he recalled correctly, he had been on the Princess Andromeda when Annabeth, Percy and Tyson had snuck aboard, before Thalia had gotten revived from her tree with the Golden Fleece. There would be no doubt that Annabeth would recognize him since he was one of people who stayed undetermined for the longest in the Hermes cabin before he left.

He really hoped that the gods wouldn't be too upset with him when they found out.

You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.

"You sleep in class!?" Athena glared at Percy, and Percy shrinked into his bean bag slightly.

Annabeth just gave her mother a slightly annoyed look as she patted Percy on the shoulder. She knew that Athena didn't mean to hurt her, and "disowning" her had mostly been because Athena and Minerva had been at war with each other due to the Greek and Roman conflict, but still...

"In my defense, I'm getting called lazy in every single class because all the letters are floating off the pages. And I can't sit still, so I get sent out of every class for no reason. And sometimes, I just can't sleep, so I'm tired in lessons." Percy tried to defend himself, and the other demigods who had gone to mortal schools nodded in agreement.

Athena sighed; there was no way she could say anything bad about the sea spawn, not when other demigods were also agreeing with Percy's mortal school experience.

I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.

"Fat chance." Jason rolled his eyes, "Percy always gets into trouble."

Boy, was I wrong.

Everyone snickered, and Poseidon let out a groan. He knew that Percy had gone on a quest for Zeus' Master Bolt, but he didn't want to know what other trouble his favorite son had gotten into before he even made it to Camp Half-Blood.

See, bad things happen to me on field trips.

"Like?" Hermes asked excitedly.

Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield,

Ares snapped his fingers, "October 7, 1777. Americans defeated the British in the Revolutionary War."

Athena and several other gods looked at him in confusion, and Ares frowned at her, "A war took place there! Of course I'd know about it! It was a nice little slugfest!"

I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.

Leo, Travis and Conner burst into laughter, "That's awesome!"

"Heck yeah!" Clarisse grinned at the mention of blowing up things, and Hazel raised an eyebrow at Percy, "Really? A war cannon?"

"How was I to know it was loaded?" Percy defended himself, "And I was eleven! You think an eleven year old would know how to operate a cannon?"

"At least you didn't try to slice them in half." Rachel grinned.

"What were you actually aiming for, if not the school bus?" Malcom asked, confused, and Percy shrugged, "I don't know. This was years ago."

And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.

"How on earth do you hit the wrong lever?" Athena hissed at Percy, but Annabeth came to his defence.

"Honestly, that's just bad planning on their part." Annabeth sighed, "Levers should never be in reach of the catwalk, especially if they were letting you go there. It could have been any other kid who hit the wrong lever."

Percy smiled at his girlfriend, grateful for the support.

"Sadly, the sharks wouldn't eat you." Triton shook his head, but Amphitrite just patted him on the back, "Be nice to your half-brother."

And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.

"We need to know more." Apollo and Hermes chorused, with Leo, Travis and Connor nodded in agreement.

"No." Percy shook his head. Thalia just snickered, and continued reading.

This trip, I was determined to be good.

"That's going to last like... five seconds." Annabeth shook her head.

"Really? Have some faith in me!" Percy pouted, and Annabeth gave him a small kiss on the cheek, "You know your luck doesn't hold."

All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly red-headed kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend, Grover, in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.

"Eww! Peanut butter and ketchup!?" Piper stuck her tongue out, and glanced at Grover, "That's just gross. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. It was just a sandwich. It was more annoying that painful, but ketchup just stains everything!" Grover complained, as Juniper cuddled with her boyfriend.

Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny.

"Hey!" Grover complained, and Will scratched the back of his head, "To be fair, compared to other satyrs, you were pretty small."

He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin.

Everyone snickered.

On top of all that, he was crippled.

"That's real flattering, Percy." Grover sighed.

He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.

Grover mockingly glared at Percy, as Percy argued, "How on Gaia was I supposed to know you were a satyr when you were actively trying to hide it from me?"

"Percy actually made a smart comment?" Thalia sniggered, and Apollo frowned, "But he literally had a note that said he was crippled."

"A muscular disease is different from being crippled!" Grover argued.

"The point is that you literally had a note saying that you were disabled. So you shouldn't get mad at Percy when he said that you were crippled." Michael rebutted.

Before it could blow up into a huge debate, one exasperated look from Poseidon made the Daughter of Zeus continue reading.

He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

Everyone stared at the satyr, who turned red, "Enchiladas taste awesome!"

"At least Ginger doesn't have to infiltrate schools anymore." Dionysus commented, creating a can of Diet Coke.

Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death

"Uh... what?" Athena frowned, "I don't think schools are allowed to threaten children with death, even if one is a dumb sea spawn."

Poseidon, Percy, Triton, and Amphitrite glared at her.

by in-school suspension

"Oh. That makes more sense."

if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.

"AKA Aquaman is going to get expelled again." Leo nodded, eliciting a sigh from Percy, "Really? Enough with the Aquaman already!"

"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.

"Please do!" Ares and Clarisse grinned menacingly, "Killing is good!"

"Not!" Chris sighed.

"She sounds like an awful person, though." Piper grumbled.

Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."

Travis snorted, "That's a stupid excuse!"

"Well, I don't think you like peanut butter in your hair or on your clothes." Silena frowned.

"Yeah! I like Peanut M&M's, but I wouldn't want someone to throw that at me." Connor nodded.

"You'd probably just eat it anyways." Katie rolled her eyes.

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"Nice reflexes." Michael grinned at Grover, and the satyr smiled back, "I have years of experience!"

"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.

"Woah. You actually managed to control him?" Jason whistled. The first thing he knew about Percy was that he would do anything for his friends, and given how powerful he was, it was close to impossible to stop him from doing something rash.

Grover shrugged, "To be fair, I had more experience fighting monsters than him. And he was kind of scrawny. Plus... I think he also didn't want to do anything to make Chiron think badly of him. And he didn't really want to be expelled."

"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

"This sounds like serious foreshadowing: getting blamed for things you two never did." Grover commented, as Annabeth shrugged, "I mean... if he did hit her, then technically he was doing something... even if she did really deserved it."

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.

"Hmm... in-school suspension or a life of a demigod, constantly on the run and getting killed by monsters. It's no contest." Leo commented sarcastically.

Mr Brunner led the museum tour.

He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.

"Really? You're surprised that pottery survived for a few thousand years?" Frank asked in confusion. Then again, not everyone had a grandma that like to import Chinese products from all over the world.

"He was twelve." Hazel reminded her boyfriend.

He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age.

The demigods all cringed; they really didn't want to remember how many friends they had lost during both wars.

He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting,

Athena sighed; at least the boy was trying to learn.

The Greeks all gawked, "Percy found museums interesting?! And he's trying to learn!?"

Annabeth sighed, "You know he does go to New Rome University now, right?"

"I mean... he is a Greek demigod. Since he didn't know he was one, I suppose he could be naturally interested in Greek stuff." Apollo shrugged, and Artemis stared at him.

"What?"

"I didn't know you had a brain in there."

"I'm the god of reason and logic, for a reason, Arty!"

"Well, you don't act like it! And don't call me Arty!"

but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs Dodds, would give me the evil eye.

Athena frowned, "For once, I support the sea spawn; they should shut up, and the teacher shouldn't get mad if a child wants to learn."

Nico raised an eyebrow. He knew that Percy had met Alecto before, and he had admitted that the Fury used to be his math teacher, but he really didn't think that they would encounter each other before their first quest.

Mrs Dodds was this little maths teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.

Ares' face lit up, and Clarisse sighed.

She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last maths teacher had a nervous breakdown.

Everyone glanced at Percy, who scowled, "It wasn't me that made the teacher have a nervous breakdown!"

From her first day, Mrs Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn.

"Wrong kid. That's Nico." Thalia joked.

Nico glared at her before she continued reading.

She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.

"Percy, what did you do that warranted a month of detention?" Poseidon asked. Percy thought about it for a second, "I think I forgot to hand in some math homework... or I did really badly on a math test? I'm not too sure... that was a pretty long time ago."

One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old maths workbooks until midnight,

"That's harsh." Apollo grimaced. He liked to sleep early, wake early, and hop out in the morning, ready to drive to Sun Chariot.

I told Grover I didn't think Mrs Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."

"So... your first monster?" Silena asked, and Percy nodded. Now, everyone (besides from Nico and Hades) were wondering what Percy had encountered before the Minotaur.

Mr Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"

"Rude." Artemis commented in amusement, and Athena glared at her. Sure, Percy had been rude, but it seems like he was actually trying to listen and learn something, despite being a sea spawn.

It came out louder than I meant it to.

"Of course it did." Jake shook his head in amusement.

The whole group laughed. Mr Brunner stopped his story.

"Mr Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."

"Wow! Percy's being polite!" Nico glanced at Percy, who stuck his tongue out at the younger boy.

"I can be polite when I want to!" Percy argued, and Annabeth placed her hand on his shoulder, "Which is like... never."

Mr Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"

Demeter shook her head, "Please don't be that picture!"

I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"

The five gods who had been eaten cringed at the memory.

"It's very ironic." Malcolm muttered, "Percy getting introduced to Greek Mythology and Kronos, right before he's a part of the prophecy for defeating Kronos."

Triton looked slightly surprised; his half-brother didn't know that he was a demigod? At the age of twelve?

"Yes," Mr Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because…"

"Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and —"

"God?!" Zeus thundered, as Percy pouted, "I was twelve!"

"I'm sure Chiron would correct him, brother." Poseidon sighed at his overdramatic younger brother.

"God?" Mr Brunner asked.

"Titan," I corrected myself. "And…he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead.

"I can see how our father made that mistake." Hades grumbled, and Poseidon nodded, "Knowing how dense and hard-headed our brother is."

The demigods started snickering quietly, trying not to get the attention of the Lord of Sky, as Zeus spluttered, "I'm not dense or hard-headed!"

Hera sighed, "They aren't wrong. You were the one who banned any talk of Kronos, and then you thought shutting down Olympus would lull the earth back to sleep."

Hestia gestured Thalia to continue before another argument could break out.

And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"

"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.

Hestia shuddered at the memory, being all alone in the stomach of the Titan, before she had been joined by Demeter, and Hera grumbled, "Eeew is an huge understatement."

"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."

"That's one way to put it... I suppose." Beckendorf commented, amused, as Percy protested, "Well, I wasn't there during the war! I don't know what actually happened!"

"I think something's wrong with Percy." Thalia stated in a serious voice, "He's actually making sense."

She couldn't help herself, and started laughing, before she managed to calm herself down to continue.

"I'm not that stupid, okay!" Percy groaned.

Annabeth just shook her head, "You know... I'm not surprised anymore at how you manage to condense and summarize things."

Some snickers from the group.

"That's not funny at all! It was a very traumatic experience." Hera grumbled, and Poseidon and Hades both sighed, "As much as I hate to agree with her, Hera is right."

Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"

"Because we're demigods." Everyone chorused.

"That would be a very interesting job application form, though." Jason grinned, "Imagine just signing up to be a demigod."

"And why, Mr Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

"Busted." Travis stated.

"Busted," Grover muttered.

"Aww crap! I think like a goat!"

Everyone burst into laughter.

"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.

"She must looked like a tomato then." Rachel snickered.

At least Nancy got in trouble, too. Mr Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.

"Nope. He has horse ears." Nico stated.

"But his upper half is human... so he has human ears." Katie argued.

"Well... he's a centaur. So centaur ears!" Will reasoned.

I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."

"Now that's a regular Percy response." Piper grinned.

"I see." Mr Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine,

Pollux frowned, "Question... I thought my dad was the god of wine? And he invented wine? How did you feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine when wine wasn't even invented yet?"

All the gods paused, and turned to Zeus, who had been the only one who had any idea of what was going on at the time.

Zeus shrugged, "It wasn't exactly wine. It was like an ancient Titan-equivalent of wine. Chiron probably just dumbed it down for your little mortal brains to understand."

which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach.

The gods who had actually lived through that just looked sick, and Thalia hastily continued.

The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld.

Nico, Annabeth and Percy all turned pale at the mention of "Tartarus".

On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"

"Happy... note?" Hades winced, as Persephone smiled, "Well... I suppose the death of Kronos is a happy note."

The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.

"Males." Zoe and Artemis shook their heads.

Grover and I were about to follow when Mr Brunner said, "Mr Jackson."

I knew that was coming.

I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr Brunner. "Sir?"

Mr Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go—intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.

"Yeah... a thousand years seems accurate." Silena laughed, "Give or take maybe a few more thousand years."

"You are pretty observant if you managed to notice that." Will commented.

"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr Brunner told me.

"About the Titans?"

"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."

"Oh."

"Another good Percy response. Just an "oh"." Nico snickered at Percy, who pouted.

"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

"And you got the best." Annabeth grinned, and Percy turned red.

I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.

"He's a teacher. He's supposed to do that." Athena chided.

I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped.

"That sounds pretty cool." Reyna admitted, "But naming everyone does sound really difficult."

"I did pretty well..." Percy stated, "Except for the fact that I had trouble writing the names because I didn't even know how to spell them right."

But Mr Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C– in my life.

Athena scowled at the bad grades.

Malcolm turned to his mom, "To be fair, most exams are in English. And dyslexia doesn't go well with English."

No—he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

Most of the demigods winced. It wasn't a matter if they were smart or not; dyslexia just made pretty much anything difficult to spell because they couldn't even see the letters that made up the word correctly.

I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.

"He probably was." Hephaestus stated.

He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.

"Must be an amazing view." Leo commented sarcastically.

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.

"So... this stolen "lightning" something... was the cause of all this bad weather?" Piper asked, and the older demigods nodded, "Jeez... I thought it was just freak weather! And then four years later, there was even freakier weather!"

"So... what was Father and Lord Poseidon upset about?" Jason asked. The two siblings looked at each other, as if daring the other to reveal the truth, but Percy interjected before the gods could say anything, "It should be in the book."

Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers.

"Those poor pigeons!" Grover groaned, and the Hunters all sighed, "Boys."

Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.

The gods turned to Hermes, who puffed his chest out, "Definitely not my kid! If she were, Percy wouldn't even notice her! Even if she were trying to steal his stuff out of his pockets!"

Connor and Travis both sighed.

"What?" Hermes tilted his head at his sons, "Am I wrong?"

"If it were anyone other than Percy, then you'd be right. Percy's pretty much impossible to steal from." Travis sighed, and Connor nodded, "We've tried tons of times before. The only times we could get things from him were either in his room, while he's out, or when he's pretty much unconscious, and that doesn't count."

"You tried to steal my things while I was sleeping?" Percy groaned, but Travis smirked, "Nope. Not sleeping. Knocked out or recovering from fights. Or, you know, when you went missing and we thought you were in the lake or something."

Annabeth and Poseidon glared at Hera.

"That's even worse!" Percy whined, and Chris sighed, "That's why they said it didn't count."

"Yeah. Whenever we want to pull pranks on Annabeth, we have to bribe Percy so that he doesn't snitch." Travis stated.

Annabeth glared at Percy, "You can get bribed?!"

"Hey! I like soda right out of a can! And it helps me think!" Percy raised his hands in his defense, "Plus, I'd only let them pull the harmless pranks on you! Stuff that would only take minutes at most to clean up."

Annabeth just sighed.

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others.

"Fountains are awesome!" Poseidon grinned.

We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.

"You guys aren't loser freaks, you know?" Juniper stated, patting Grover's arm.

"I know that! But really... the other kids really weren't the best." The Satyr admitted, while Percy shrugged. Annabeth had a feeling that Percy felt that he was a loser freak.

The gods just looked mildly offended at that; with the dyslexia and ADHD, a lot of their children did have trouble in normal schools, and they couldn't really blame them for that.

"Detention?" Grover asked.

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius."

"You got that right, Kelp Head." Thalia grinned.

Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"

Everyone burst into laughter, as Grover turned red, "I was hungry, okay?"

"Apples are very philosophical." Apollo pulled an apple out of nowhere, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.

Thalia stopped reading, and frowned, "You... didn't have much of an appetite?"

All the demigods turned to face Percy, their jaw dropping. Pollux could see his father looking at Percy with a slight hint of concern.

"What?" Percy asked.

"You didn't have much of an appetite!?" Jason asked incredulously, "You? Do you have any idea how much you eat on the Argo II?"

"I was... twelve?" Percy stated, "That was a long time ago! I had a smaller stomach!"

"Nonsense. Boys your age should be eating more cereal." Demeter waved her hand, as Frank nearly shot to his feet, "But you eat like... everything! Pretty much anything!"

"No wonder you were so small and scrawny when you first entered camp." Chris let out a laugh, but everyone was wondering why Percy didn't have much of an appetite when he was the one that usually ate the most at meal times.

I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too.

"Aunt Sally could never be disappointed in you." Apollo commented, and the rest of the gods looked at him in confusion.

"I've met her before! She's awesome!" The sun god beamed.

"I'm sure she wouldn't be disappointed in you." Amphitrite turned to Percy. Triton just looked between them, confused; he knew that his mother wasn't too fond of Poseidon's affairs with mortals, and he wasn't so sure why she was being so nice to Percy.

She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

Hera shrugged, "At least you appreciate family."

"Dang. Six schools in six years? You beat the record for how many schools you've been kicked out of!" Connor whistled.

Mr Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.

Leo whistled; that sounded really sweet.

"I want to make something like that!"

"We can discuss ideas, if you like?" Beckendorf offered, and Leo immediately lit up at the thought of spending time with one of the people he had heard so many stories about.

I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.

Zoe scowled, "I don't like her."

"Neither do we." Grover agreed, "She was an absolute menace."

"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.

Aphrodite cringed at that description.

"Your descriptions are weird." Triton muttered.

I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper."

Will sighed, "That might work on regular kids. But demigods with ADHD and battle reflexes? Nah. Never works. It just makes us blow up more."

But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.

Triton nodded to himself. At least his half-brother wasn't completely defenseless, if he had to go on a quest for Zeus' Master Bolt, of all things; he still remembered that stupid squabble. As if his father would do something so dishonorable!

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

Mrs Dodds materialized next to us.

"Definitely a monster." Poseidon grumbled. He turned to Percy, "What monster was it?"

"Spoilers." Percy grinned cheekily.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"

"—the water—"

"—like it grabbed her—"

Annabeth turned to Grover, "How on earth did you not figure out who his dad was?"

"After Thalia... I was kinda hoping I wouldn't run into anymore Big Three kids. Maybe he was the child of a minor water god, or maybe he was related to Nereids." Grover sighed, "Plus, monster."

"That's understandable."

I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.

"Yep. Technically that was your fault, though she was asking for it." Reyna stated.

As soon as Mrs Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester.

"You know..." Annabeth muttered, "She probably was, given everything that happened after."

"Now, honey—"

"Ouch. Rest in peace, Percy." Leo stated.

"She still calls you "honey"." Nico shook his head, "I guess that nickname never wore off."

"And that's why I keep calling her Mrs Dodds." Percy snickered.

"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."

Hermes, Chris, Travis and Connor gasped at Percy, "Never ever guess your punishment!"

That wasn't the right thing to say.

"You don't say." Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Come with me," Mrs Dodds said.

"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."

Grover sighed, and Percy stated, "At least you tried, G-man."

I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs Dodds scared Grover to death.

She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"That was actually terrifying." Grover groaned, "I thought she was going to kill me!"

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.

"But—"

"You—will—stay—here."

Grover looked at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."

Grover sighed, disappointed in himself.

"Honey," Mrs Dodds barked at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirked.

"You should have just stabbed her." Ares grumbled; he was starting to get annoyed.

I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.

All the demigods shuddered, "Yeah, she's definitely dead."

Percy frowned, "It's not that bad! I'm not that scary, right?"

"Not that bad!" Travis winced, "You're perfectly terrifying when you want to be! No offence, dude!"

Percy cringed. His friends thought he was scary? How would they feel if they learnt that he had nearly choked a goddess, of all beings, in Tartarus?

He wasn't eager to find out.

Then I turned to face Mrs Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

"Monster." Everyone chorused.

I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it.

"That's a very nice way of saying that." Michael chuckled.

The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.

"What are the chances that your school counselor is also some sort of monster? I mean... all the advice just seems wrong." Annabeth asked, and Percy shrugged.

"To be fair, I'm sure there are some mortals that also have ADHD. What the counselor said is probably more accurate to that kind of ADHD, not the demigod kind of ADHD." Will stated, and Apollo nodded, "Yeah. From what I understand, demigods have it worse."

"The counselor wasn't a monster." Grover added, "Chiron and I are fairly sure of that."

I wasn't so sure.

I went after Mrs Dodds. Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr Brunner, like he wanted Mr Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr Brunner was absorbed in his novel.

Poseidon frowned, and Dionysus sighed, "I'm sure the old horse was paying attention. He was probably just trying to pretend that he doesn't know what was going on."

"You were paying attention?" Percy raised an eyebrow, and Dionysus glowered at him, taking a swig of his Diet Coke, "Of course I wasn't, Pierre Jorgensen."

The demigods burst into laughter, as the gods finally understood the running joke.

I looked back up. Mrs Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.

"Monster."

Percy groaned, "You guys don't need to keep repeating that! I was twelve! And I didn't know monsters were real!"

Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

The three sons of Hermes, as well as Hermes himself, groaned, "Like we said, never guess your punishment."

But apparently that wasn't the plan.

"It never is." Artemis shook her head.

I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.

"How ironic. Facing a Greek monster in a place that tells you that everything Greek and Roman is ancient and no longer exists." Pollux sighed.

Except for us, the gallery was empty.

"You're screwed." Leo deadpanned.

Mrs Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

"Yeah, you're definitely screwed." Travis added.

"I'm fairly sure she was growling, Kelp Head." Thalia snickered.

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…

Hades wondered why Alecto would want to pulverize a frieze. Maybe she didn't like the carvings.

"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.

I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."

Thalia paused, and faux gasped, "Percy did the safe thing!?"

Annabeth snorted, "Yeah. He probably used up all his safe options before he even believed that gods were real."

She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"

Zoe raised an eyebrow, "Get away with... what?"

The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.

"And Percy just jinxed himself." Rachel let out a sharp bark of laughter.

I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."

"You know... in that context, that was probably the worst thing to say." Annabeth stated.

Thunder shook the building.

Hades grinned, "Overdramatic as usual, brother."

Zeus glowered at his older brother, as the other gods snickered.

"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Yeah... what's going on?" Reyna frowned, "What is Lord Ju-... Lord Zeus so upset about?"

Thalia turned to Reyna, "The Romans didn't know about it?"

Poseidon shook his head, "I don't think so. Compared to other major things, this was a relatively small matter, so we only needed to involve one of the camps. Most of the quests and issues that the demigods have went on were strictly Roman or Greek, even though the Romans had access to some of the Greek prophecies. There hasn't been a mixed quest for a very long time, at least, until the Prophecy of Seven."

All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.

Hermes, the Stoll brothers, and Leo grinned at Percy.

Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade.

"Dyslexia." Percy weakly countered as Athena glared at him, while Triton snickered.

Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.

"Don't worry, Mother." Annabeth grinned, smacking Percy on the back, "I already made him read the Greek version. And I also got him the audiobook version."

"Well?" she demanded.

"Ma'am, I don't…"

"Your time is up," she hissed.

"She didn't give you much time at all in the first place." Dakota argued.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human.

"No shit." Chris stated, and Hazel fanned herself.

She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.

Poseidon glared at Hades, "You sent a Fury after my son?!"

"Well, he's sitting right here! She didn't kill him!" Hades countered, as the demigods' jaws dropped.

"Your first monster was a Fury!?" Calypso blinked, stunned, as Percy shrugged, "I suppose."

"You suppose!?" Apollo stated, as Nico snickered; no wonder Alecto hated Percy so much, besides the fact that he just called her Mrs Dodds instead of her proper name.

The gods just stared at the boy. How in Hades he got out of this one... none of them knew. They couldn't imagine how a twelve year old, even a child of the Big Three, could fend off a Fury with no training, or without even knowing he was a demigod. There wasn't even any water nearby that Percy could control to even stand a chance of defending himself.

Then things got even stranger.

Mr Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.

"A pen?" Ares blinked. He had been expecting more action.

Amphitrite and Triton both winced; they had a feeling they knew what the pen was.

"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.

Mrs Dodds lunged at me.

"Dodge! Dodge! Dodge!" Leo chanted, before Beckendorf shut him up.

With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.

"Is that Riptide?" Jason asked, and Percy nodded. Zoe and Percy spared a knowing look, and they both nodded.

This intrigued Amphitrite. She knew how much the Hunters hated males, especially Zoe, given what had happened to her. She was surprised that she didn't seem to dislike Percy, even more so since he was using that particular sword.

Mrs Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.

All the kids looked sympathetically at Percy. They all knew how it felt the first time they've encountered a monster, with or without a weapon.

"So my half-brother has to fight a Fury with a sword he can barely hold, let alone use." Triton muttered sarcastically, "That's just great."

"Wimp!" Ares yelled, and Percy, Annabeth and Grover burst out laughing.

She snarled, "Die, honey!"

And she flew straight at me.

"Hit her with the sword!"

"Don't be silly!" Katie berated Connor, "He literally just got the sword from Chiron! And he has no training!"

Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.

Frank gawked, "How is it natural to swing a sword?"

"ADHD. Battle instincts. Percy's always been pretty good with a sword." Will stated, as Frank sighed, "I suppose that makes sense. All I've got is lactose intolerance."

"Wait. No dyslexia?" Clarisse asked, and Frank nodded, "Yep."

"Lucky." Percy grumbled, and everyone turned to him.

"Hey! I'd actually like reading if reading wasn't so torturous!" Percy defending himself, and the demigods nodded in agreement.

"But still... How in Hades is it that a natural reaction?" Piper asked, "What about... you know... turning around and running away, maybe screaming for help?"

"It's Kelp Head." Thalia shrugged, "He's weird like that. But we like him that way."

The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!

Hades frowned. Percy had defeated Alecto that easily? No wonder she hated him so much; he had found it weird that Alecto was so eager to "collect" the demigod when Nico invited him into the Underworld in exchange for answers about his mother.

Mrs Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.

"You killed a Kindly One with one hit?" Apollo raised an eyebrow, impressed. He already knew that Percy was strong, having helped save Olympus twice, among other matters, but killing a Fury, of all things, with absolutely zero training was still an awesome feat nonetheless.

"But how?!" Connor asked.

"I hit her with the sword! Just like you said!" Percy groaned, "What do you mean "how"?"

Piper, Jason and Leo shared a grimace. An untrained demigod had killed a Fury at the age of twelve, while not even knowing that the gods even existed. On the contrary, there were three of them, they had the help of one of the most bloodthirsty satyrs ever to live, they were at least three years older than Percy had been, Jason had used his powers, and had a weapon he was semi-familiar using, and yet, they somehow managed to lose to their monster.

To be fair, a horde of storm spirits that were sent by Medea and Gaia seemed like a bigger problem compared to a Fury, but still...

I was alone.

There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.

Mr Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.

"How did Chiron get out of there so quickly?" Rachel asked, "He was in a wheelchair... motor cafe thingy."

"Probably the mist." Calypso replied.

My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.

Travis, Connor and Chris turned to Katie, who growled, "No! I won't, and can't, grow magic mushrooms! Mushrooms aren't even plants!"

"How did he think he was hallucinating, though?" Annabeth frowned, "Sure... monsters were fuzzy, but once I kill my first one, I could immediately tell what was going on... or at least... as well as a child could."

"Chiron." Grover bleated, "He manipulated the mist. He was trying to buy Percy more time while he reasoned with Sally to let him go to camp."

"Oh come on!" Percy threw his hands up, "I spent weeks thinking I had gone mad!"

Had I imagined the whole thing?

"Err... another question... why didn't Chiron like... kill Mrs Dodds himself?" Pollux asked, "Cause Percy has clearly no idea what's going on. Sure, now we know he can kill her... but then..."

Annabeth frowned, "I'm sure that Chiron wouldn't let Percy get hurt. Percy was probably closer to Mrs Dodds, so Chiron just gave him something to defend himself with."

I went back outside.

It had started to rain.

Reyna turned to the god of the sky, and the god of the sea.

Meanwhile, Hazel was thinking to herself. A lightning thief? And back when Hazel was bringing Percy to see Octavian, he had mentioned something about a master bolt not looking like something?

Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs Kerr whipped your butt."

Poseidon raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

I said, "Who?"

"Like father, like son." Hermes snickered, and demigods all burst into the laughter.

"Our teacher. Duh!"

I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.

She just rolled her eyes and turned away.

"I suppose that Chiron is manipulating the mist again" Athena stated.

I asked Grover where Mrs Dodds was.

He said, "Who?"

Annabeth sighed, "We all know Grover can't lie."

But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.

Travis turned to Grover, "We need to teach you how to lie."

"This was six years ago!" Grover bleated, "I've gotten better!"

"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."

Thunder boomed overhead.

"Look, Father agrees that this is serious." Jason joked.

I saw Mr Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.

I went over to him.

He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr Jackson."

"Hmm... writing utensil..." Leo mused. Neither Hephaestus nor Beckendorf wanted to know what he was thinking about.

I handed it over. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs Dodds?"

He stared at me blankly. "Who?"

"Yeah... Chiron's a much better liar."

"The other chaperone. Mrs Dodds. The maths teacher."

He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"

"Urg." Percy groaned, before turning to Grover, "You made me think I was going mad for weeks!"

Rachel whistled, "Yeah. I understand that. Seeing all these monsters and stuff but no one else seems to notice!"

"So... who's reading the next chapter?" Thalia asked, waving the book around. Hermes reached his hand out, and Thalia tossed the book right into his hand with her perfect Hunters of Artemis aim.

Hermes snatched the book out the air, and flipped it open.