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Glee: Season1 Episode 5 - The Rhodes Not Taken

Chapter Four
The rest of the school day goes by in one big blur. English, US History, Math all a blur, I don't even remember going to the classes, but apparently, I did. My body was on autopilot. I can't even concentrate during Cheerio's practise. I know I'm out of time with the rest of the group, and my effort levels are minimal at best, but I can't help it. My mind is filled with Brittany and last night, it's all I can think about. It's exhausting. Once the routine ends, Coach Sue brings her megaphone to her mouth and spits out another barrage of insults, not that I'm even listening to them. I turn my head slightly to look at Brittany, she looks back smiling. I smile back as my stomach flips. I quickly look away, feeling my cheeks getting warmer, hoping she doesn't notice. "Hit the showers" Coach Sylvester shouts through her megaphone, signalling the end of the session. I turn to go towards the locker room when I hear Coach's voice again. "Lopez…a word". Shit, I think to myself stopping in my tracks. I let go of Brittany's pinkie and turn around.
"Yes coach" I say, plastering a fake smile on my face and trying my hardest to concentrate on the upcoming conversation.
"Take a seat" she points to the bleachers. I do "What is wrong with you today? You were slow, you were sloppy, you were terrible. Sectionals are coming up and we won't win with you flopping around like a baby whale" she starts, her words are hurtful, but her tone concerned. I pull my face at her words, a baby whale, really. I know I wasn't great, but I wasn't that bad.
"Sorry coach. I'll be better" I reply dodging the original question.
"Yes, you will. Or you'll no longer be a Cheerio. I don't do mediocracy" Coach Sue says, her harsh tone returning. I just sit there. "Understood?" she presses.
"Yes coach" I answer.
"Now get out of my sight. The smell of tacos is burning my nostrils". I stand up and leave, shaking my head and rolling my eyes at the insult. I need to get Brittany out of my head, that kiss out of my head I think to myself finally heading for the locker room. Abuela will be so disappointed if I get kicked off the Cheerios. Then it dawns on me, Abuela, she'll know what to do.

The final club of the day is Glee Club and again there's no Rachel, but that April chick is there. Once everybody has arrived Mr. Schuester starts the session by announcing the new setlist for the Invitationals and hands out a copy to everyone. I take a quick look at the list. 'Don't Stop Believing' – solo: April, 'Last Name' – solo; April, 'Somebody to Love' – solo: April, this list goes on with every female solo going to April. I look around the room, the general feeling seems to be the same, we've just replaced one diva with another. After an hour of swaying in the background Mr. Schuester calls the session to an end. "Great job guys" he says, clapping. "April. Amazing" he turns to look at her "I think we've got a real shot at winning this thing" he smiles, then leaves the room with her. Mercedes follows them and shuts the choir room door behind them.
"We gotta do something about April" she addresses the room "She's stealing the spotlight. Our spotlight" Everybody nods in agreement.
"We need Rachel" Kurt announces standing alongside Mercedes.
"I'm working on it" Finn answers. Everybody turns to look at him. "Look, if we want to win Regionals, we need Rachel. I'm gonna convince her to come back, you know for the good of the team". Hmmm, I think to myself, he definitely has an ulterior motive, I look towards Quinn. She doesn't react to his words. If I was in her shoes, I'd be going all Lima Heights on his ass right now, spending all his spare time with man hands.
"So, we're all in agreement. The blonde bimbo needs to go" I ask, trying to hurry the meeting up.
"Who needs to go?" a voice questions. We all turn around in unison to see Mr. Schuester re-entering the choir room. Shit, I hope he didn't hear all of that, I'm already walking a on a tightrope. Everybody looks towards Finn.
"Erm, April…Mr. Shue…sir" Finn starts "We-we're not sure she's the right fit for the group. She's erm…" Finn stalls. I look at the time. I really need to get going.
"Look, she's embarrassing" I start, taking over from Finn. The rest of the group murmurs in agreement "Sorry Mr. Shue, but it's true. She's like fourty, but she's hanging around with a bunch of teenagers. It's weird and embarrassing and we don't need to give the rest of the school anymore ammunition to use against us" I continue. "You see, unlike these losers, not you Britt" I turn to Brittany, she smiles at me, then I look back at Mr. Shue "I actually have a rep at this school, and being seen with her is doing some serious damage to that. You know I nearly got a slushie facial today..."
"Okay, okay. Thank you, Santana," Mr. Schuester interrupts me mid-rant. I wasn't done, I think to myself. "Do you guys all agree?" he asks the rest of the group. They all nod and murmur in agreement with me. I cross my arms across my chest. "If that's how you guys really feel, I'll talk to April" he says, leaving the room.
"You could have been nicer Santana" Finn says to me as I turn to grab my backpack. I pull a face of disagreement at him.
"It worked didn't it. Sometimes people just need to hear the truth" I shrug, walking out of the choir room and towards the exit.

"Hola Abuelita" I say walking through the door of my grandmother's house, kicking off my sneakers. I go into her family room to see her sat in her chair. I sit on the sofa opposite.
"You're late" she says straight faced.
"I know. I'm sorry Abuela. Glee Club ran over" I answer, offering an apology.
"What's a Glee Club?" she asks.
"Oh Glee, it's a show choir club" I start, she doesn't answer. I continue "We sing and dance and get to perform in the auditorium" I can tell I'm losing her interest "It's helps with my Cheerios routines" I lie. Her face perks up at the mention of the Cheerios. I gulp and continue "We, erm, we're actually competing a week on Saturday" I pull a ticket out of my jacket pocket "and it would mean so much to me if you come abuelita…" I pass her the ticket and hold my breath in anticipation. She takes it and spends a moment looking at it.
"For you Santana, of course" she smiles. I get up and go to hug her, she hugs me back. "Now, let's eat Santana, you are wasting away." I sigh and follow her into the kitchen. God, I love that woman I think to myself.

"Here let me" I say as I see my abuela start to take some food out of the fridge and put it down on the kitchen counter. I walk over and to stand next to her and pick up a peeler. I decided that this conversation will be easier, if we are both busy doing something else. I start to peel some carrots for her.
"So abuelita. Can I ask you something? I need some advice" I start. I take a deep breath and compose myself "How did you know you loved Abuelo?" She puts down the knife in her hand and turns to look at me.
"Oh your Abuelo, Santana. He was the most passionate, loving man. All the moments filled with an intense fire. And in the bedroom, he was just the most…"
"Woah, woah, woah, stop abuelita" I shake my head and moving slightly behind to squeeze her shoulders "I don't need to know about that". She looks are me, sensing that something is truly bothering me.
"Sit Santana" she points towards the kitchen table. I do. She sits next to me, looking me in the eyes. "What is this about? I know it is not about your Abuelo and I"
"I kissed someone…" I say, tensing up waiting for a response.
"Okay…" she replies evidently confused.
"When I kissed this person, my insides came alive. It felt different from all the boys before…" I continue "But this person, is off limits. It was wrong"
"Do you like this boy?" she presses.
"I don't know" I shrug "We weren't even sober when we kissed"
"Does he have a girlfriend?" she asks.
"Erm. Not exactly" I reply.
"Is he not a Latino?" the next question comes.
"No. They're not Latino" I answer, she keeps saying he, she thinks it a boy, but I can't correct her. She tuts.
"Santana. You need to find a lovely Latino boy, like Abuelo. These American boys Santana, they are not for us. You need somebody who understands our us, our ways" My face drops at her words. She notices and moves a strand of hair out of my face. "But your young, have fun, be happy. You don't need to find your husband today" a small smile starts to form on my face. "But Santana, you need to kiss this boy without the drink. You need to know for sure how you feel. You need the passion." I nod and smile.
"Thank you abuelita" I kiss her cheek as I stand up. I leave my abuelas house that evening knowing exactly what I must do. I need to kiss Brittany. Sober.