Nirvana
Summary: AU. "Well, fuck you too," he had said it out of spite, despite his eyes sneaking brief glances over her body. Well, maybe he had another thing in mind when he said it. Okikagu.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.
Chapter 14
"China." Okita turned the doorknob with a free fist, his other hand elegantly clutching onto a tray of food with perfect balance before he pushed the door open with one foot. He kicked it close again with the heel of his left foot before ambling his way towards Kagura who was still asleep underneath the covers. He hesitated to wake her up, but ultimately decided that her slumbering without any food and liquid in her system would only lead to her being too dehydrated.
"Wake up," he implored as he placed one hand on her shoulder, briefly noting to himself the intense warmth seeping from under her skin and into his palm. China mumbled something incoherent under her breath, stirring in her sleep for a few moments before eventually fluttering her eyes open. Sapphire blue orbs peered back at him, hazy and delirious as they peeked from under her half-lidded eyelids.
He worried if her fever had somehow gotten worse when her speech became all the more inconceivable. "Sadist? What'chu still doin' 'ere?" Frenzied from the cold, Kagura blinked her somewhat murky ceruleans at him in a slow manner a couple of times before a sneeze jolted its way out of her sweat-soaked form.
"I told you that you need to eat, didn't I? So I ain't leaving until you do," he answered her, voice neutral but possessing an underlying hint of concern and fondness as he situated the tray of food at his side before going to prop her up against the headboard. China stared at nothing in particular, mind still in a dazed state and mouth slightly ajar as a trembling breath, followed with a tiny cough, slithered up her throat. She blinked for the umpteenth time and whirled her gaze back at Sadist when she felt the gentle tips of his fingers brushing her damp bangs away from her eyes.
"Can you eat by yourself? Or should I feed you?" Okita asked her, though he had an inkling suspicion that she wasn't entirely perceptible to what was taking place at the moment, much less spoon-feed herself.
She tilted her head to the side, her lips jutted forward in an adorable pout before she shook her head furiously. This cute display had the added bonus of her batting her eyelashes at him as she spoke, voice needy and endearing, "Umm, no? You feed me instead, Sadist. Imma bite your fingers off when you do." A girlish, almost childish giggle bubbled out her chest as she then proceeded to mimic nimbling sounds, "Nom nom."
"Unfortunately for you," and for him as well, Okita briefly added in his head as he resisted the urge to shove his thumb between her lips right there and then, "I'm gonna be using a spoon, dummy. Wouldn't want you chewing on my hand again." Although, he really would relish on her showering him with these bouts of lovable display a little more, but he wasn't confident in his self-restraint if she went on.
"Stingy," she sulked, and once again stuck her tongue out at him. Okita was tempted to bite at the tip of the wet appendage just to see how red it could go.
"Sure, sure. Call me stingy or whatever," he scoffed at her despite his insides in a confused havoc as he once again had to control himself from crushing his lips against hers. That would have to wait until later. And maybe he could do plenty more unspoken, sinful things towards her once she was completely cured from the fever. Oh, yes. He could give her something else to suck on…
He cleared his throat as if in an attempt to remind himself to curb his primal desires. Shaking his head, Okita vanquished the rather inappropriate musings as he took a hold of the food-filled tray once more, settling it on his lap when he flopped down on an unoccupied space on the bed. He tried to ignore the feeling of her delicious breasts pushing up against the muscles of his arm when she quite literally threw herself at him again.
"Sadist, gimme more attention pwease," she beseeched at him in a cute whine as she nuzzled her plump cheek against his shoulder, once again murmuring something barely audible under her breath.
"If you keep being clingy like that, I might punish you for disobedience, China," he droned, voice detached but containing undertones of raw desire before he shook his head again to cool the heat threatening to rush to his other head. Instead, he focused his attention on the bowl of soup in front of him before taking a spoonful of substance and pushing the metal spoon into her mouth. "Here comes the choo-choo train," he sung in his ever present stand-offish baritone, slightly relieved as he managed to muffle whatever delightful nonsense she had been busy spouting for the past few minutes.
She sounded an indignant huff, though it was cut short by his abrupt feeding as the rather bland but still somewhat salty taste of the soup melted on her tongue. She didn't exactly like the flavor – then again she never really enjoyed soup to begin with – but she didn't really mind it either if it was Sadist spoon-feeding her this way. Giddiness pervaded the pit of her gut, but it did not show on her face as Okita pulled the spoon out of her lips. Metal scraped against her teeth for a second before he went to seize another spoonful of broth.
"You should be glad you're not Hijikata-san," he sighed to himself more than to her, all of a sudden disappointed as muted chagrin echoed from his voice. "I would have probably tampered with the soup if you'd been him. Fortunately, you're just Kagura." He paused, and used the opportunity to savor how wonderful it felt to have her name vocalized from the back of his throat.
"What do you mean, just? You should be thankful that you've got the honor of feeding a beauty like myself," she roared at him, though the angered cry lacked the usual bite that would normally accompany this kind of offended display and came across as awfully captivating, especially with it having the addition of her puffing her cheeks and pouting her full lips. The hold that had never loosened on his arm tightened ever so slightly, the sadist becoming more patently aware of the feel of her soft mounds rubbing against him. The sensation enticed the more deviant side of him, but he Sparta-kicked that part of him into the dark oblivion before it could even scratch the surface.
"I'm incredibly privileged, mistress," came his sarcastic response, but a smile lingered at the corners of his lips as he realized that she was eating completely fine and apparently didn't resent him spoiling her as she let him feed her. He would wipe away telltale signs of the broth trickling down one edge of her lips or trailing down her chin, though Kagura would utilize that chance to bite at him whenever she could. Again, Okita was tempted to profer her something bigger if she really was that starved for something in her mouth.
Once she had eventually managed to empty the bowl of stew, however, Okita's mind was already reeling with his devilish side telling him to indulge in her clinginess and his angel side chastising him for having perverted thoughts during a time like this as China's chest continued to press up against him too often during the entire ordeal.
"You wanna eat sukonbu next?" he inquired at her as he retrieved box filled with her favorite snack. But Kagura seemed to be out of it, and simply shook her head in a defiant no. "Then what would you like? I ran to the store just now to get it, ya know. Might as well appreciate my once-in-a-lifetime generosity, China. It doesn't grace people that often."
The teasing remark fizzled out of him, but concern mixed with suppressed need lurked beneath the mischief at the surface of his rich and deep baritone as he noted how drenched her white night dress was, the flimsy material clinging to her flesh like a second skin as he flitted his gaze down her form. That, and it also had the added delight of baring what was underneath to his hungry stare as he caught on to the effect of transparency her sweat-layered figure gave. However, that rush of lust immediately dissipated as love shone through, his worry for her well-being a lot stronger as he pried her fingers off of his arm. There was a string of complaints, but she didn't deny him as he reached for the hem of her night dress, swiftly tugging it off of her.
"Sweat is good when you have a fever and all, but lying there soaked in it isn't exactly ideal. Let's go give you a bath, shall we?" he articulated the gentle but firm suggestion, trying his utmost efforts not to relent to his compulsion to caress each and every inch of her petite body as she sat there, almost completely naked under his hawk-eyed scrutiny.
It was only after he had taken off her clothes did he finally notice that she was simply clad in a white pair of lace panties underneath, though he had suspected that she wasn't wearing a bra a while ago when he had discerned the sensation of her nipples poking against him once or twice. Good lord, he really did have to award himself with an applauding pat to the back for managing to restrain himself this entire time even though the girl in his dreams were literally constantly tempting him into wanting to commit vulgar acts on her.
"You perv. You say that, but you were probably waiting to take advantage of me this entire time, weren't you?" she huffed, but another bout of wholehearted laughter left her lips as his fingers snaked to either side of her underwear, swiftly and elegantly sliding it off her long legs in a single swoop. Okita was close to losing his cool when China had the audacity to grab at the back of his head, promptly burying his face into her alluring cleavage in the process as she pulled him into a tight embrace that threatened to choke him out of breath and bring forth obscene little thoughts at the same time.
Excuse you, ma'am, but in case you've forgotten, you're the one pushing your tits into my face, he sounded the inward growl in his mind, irritation finally fluttering in his belly, the annoyance mingling with fire fueling his lust as he quelled the impulse to lap at a rosy-tipped bud when her nipple grazed at his lower lip. He struggled for a moment against her monstrous strength, tapping furiously at the delicious arch of her back before he finally succeeded to push at her shoulders, freeing him from her delicious but deathly clutches.
I'm so gonna ruin you when you're better, you little bitch, he went on with that peeved remark in his head as one eyebrow twitched in agitation at her lack of decency when instead of being embarrassed, the girl merely blinked her wide, innocent blue pupils at him. As if she didn't know what she was doing to him. As if she wasn't aware of the effect she had on him. China really ought to be glad that he was not some sort of rapist who would stoop as low as to use her when she wasn't in a coherent state of mind – consent mattered to him after all, no matter how twisted his personality was.
"You should really stop that or I might get the wrong idea, Kagura. I'm being this gentlemanly but you're not helping," he murmured under his breath, fury blended with curbed hunger as he gave her a gentle squeeze around the shoulders. She giggled at his choice of words, as if she was proud of herself for managing to get under his skin.
"You're the one with a raging boner in your pants, sadist," she laughed at him – the little vixen had the nerve to even teasingly skim her nimble fingers over his hardened cock, his arousal constricting painfully in his jeans and twitching under her touch as she proceeded to run her nails up and down his hard-on. Okita had to take a deep breath to repudiate the compulsion to make her suck on his length, refusing to acknowledge the enticing imagery of her overriding her gag reflex as she took him into his mouth as he pinned a rather intense glare on her smiling face.
"I swear," he started, ignoring her startled yelp and her cry of protest as he placed one arm over the back of her knees, the other reaching for her back before he then flung her over his shoulder in one swift motion, "by the time this shit excuse of a cold's already gone from your system, China, I'm gonna bend you over like a bitch in heat. I'm really gonna make you beg for mercy the next time I get my hands on you for being a little minx."
Blood rushed to her head, adrenaline pumping in her veins as the feeling of suddenly being lifted off the bed before getting thrown about permeated her senses. Her chest collided rather forcefully against the warmth of Okita's back, his right hand dangerously close to her derriere as he started to trudge her out of the room and proceeded to go about his way in finding the closest toilet. Although, the thrill died down shortly after, the unexpected sight of the sadist's backside prompting a slow, baffled blink before she finally noted that he was carrying her to the bathroom.
"It's cold, you fucker!" she shouted bloody murder, her feet reaching upwards to deliver a sharp kick to his chin when he all but suddenly turned on the shower head. He managed to halt her attack just in time, seizing a tight grip on her ankle before she could even come close to hitting the target.
"I could use a cold shower too, ya know," he reminded her as he looked down at himself, furious but riled up at the same time as he pushed her directly under the shower head when she tried to walk out of the sprinkling water cascading down on her. However, he switched up the temperature as he briefly recalled that cold water wasn't exactly beneficial for fevers, halting just as the once freezing dousing flood raining down on China adopted a lukewarm sensation. "Now stop flailing around like some kind of worm and let me get you all cleaned up. If you keep struggling like that, the shampoo's gonna irritate your eyes, idiot."
She grumbled something that sounded awfully like an insult under her breath as he began to massage the shampoo into her long hair. "Close your eyes," he told her, the enraged edge from before leaving his voice as the irritation waned away to permit affection to slip through. China groused a little, but didn't defy him at all and flittered her eyelids closed in order to prevent the substance from entering her eyes as he continued to rinse her vermillion mane.
But a little after she felt him washing the bubbles off of the top of her head, her eyes instantly shot open to focus on a particular tent between his legs.
The startled shriek that erupted from Okita's throat as she suddenly but unceremoniously grabbed a handful of his clothed boner was almost laughable and uncharacteristic of him as she maneuvered her fingers to squeeze around him.
Okita was more than spurred on but provoked at the same time by her choice of words as she unabashedly articulated the improper offer, "Want me to get on my knees and suck you off?"
He clutched a firm grasp on her wrist, glad when her fingers let go as he snarled back, a chilling, almost sinister smile reaching his lips, "Wanna die, China?"
By the time he had finally managed to get her washed up, Okita appeared to be the exact epitome of exhaustion as he sat on the floor with his left arm propped against one edge of the bed. He buried his face in his palm, running it across his features almost harshly so as he heaved a heavy, exasperated and drawn out sigh. Kagura was preoccupied with chuckling over the way his hair was sticking out in weird directions, occasionally giving him annoying but persistent tug at his brown tresses here and there.
It had taken him approximately fifteen minutes to get her cleaned up, and another excruciating fifteen minutes to get her dressed – what with China constantly trying to kick at his chest and chin every ten seconds. If it hadn't been for how adorable she looked as she laughed whilst causing immeasurable torment to befall him, the sadist would have most likely shoved her off the balcony a long time ago. That, or he'd probably smother her with a pillow – long and hard enough to suffocate her into unconsciousness, but not forceful enough to actually kill her.
"Get some rest, alright?" His voice elucidated nothing but weariness as he stood up, throwing a set of ibuprofen at the table beside her bed in the process. It felt as if he had aged up a decade after the day he had spent taking care of her – not that he regretted any of it, but he'd probably be too busy touching himself once he'd arrive home later. He smoothed out his wrinkled clothes, the disheveled mess a byproduct of attending to China's needs – though it felt more like a battle than anything else.
"I checked your house a while ago before getting your beloved sukonbu. You're out of stock so I went to get you some ibuprofen. There's also aspirin there if you prefer that. Just don't go overdosing on me, okay? And don't forget the sukonbu too," he reminded her as he pointed a finger at the medicine and sukonbu he had prepared for her. And without waiting for her to respond, Okita hurled his pitch black jacket over his shoulder, hands shoved deep into the safety of his pockets as he spun on his heels and went to leave the residence.
Night had greeted them by the time he decided to call it a day, and the once clear sky outside had taken on a darker appearance as the moon peeked through the shadows with its fluorescent blue light. But it would seem that China had something else in mind as she reached to yank at the pristine sleeve of his unsullied buttoned down shirt, her fingers wrenching hard enough to halt him in his tracks but not enough to actually pull him down to the carpeted floor.
Okita expelled a deep sigh at the feeling before eventually turning around to face her again. He fixated a deadpanned gaze on the puppy-eyed look she conferred him as she formed the rather adorable demand, "Can you stay here for the night?"
"You want your shithead of a brother to stick his foot up my ass?" he scoffed, but relented as his insides turned into goo when she stubbornly prised him closer. "I'll let you know that my rectum muscles aren't quite as strong as Kondo-san's. My asshole ain't gonna be able to take such abuse," he went on with the crude declaration, despite himself already flopping on the floor again when she placed his hand on her cheek again.
"It's fine if you have a loose butthole once a while, sadist," she laughed him off, but seemed ultimately satisfied as he permitted her to have her way for the umpteenth time that day. She nuzzled her nose against the warm skin of his palm, relishing in the scent of cologne as his fingers traced lazy but teasing circles over the smoothness of her right cheek.
"You're a spoiled little brat when you've got a cold, huh," he remarked more to himself than to her, observing and licking his lips in order to summon an ounce of willpower as she started to once again proffer him soft, featherlight pecks here and there. Her lips were incredibly soft as she skirted them over his fingers and knuckles before grazing her teeth across the back of his hand. "Not sure about the whole tryna eat my hand though. Could be your cannibalistic tendencies seeping through."
"Mm," she didn't respond at once and instead sounded the happy hum, pleased when he tucked a strand behind her ear. "Maybe? Kamui and papi says I'm a handful whenever I'm sick."
You could say that twice, he sighed inwardly to himself as he remembered the numerous instances where he had to struggle to cool down his raging impulses because of her. He was thankful that he had enough self-restraint to stop himself, or else who knew what would have occurred. She was too precious for him after all, and he didn't want to make any errors that could cause them to drift apart.
"You're almost like a drunkard. You're worse than Tsukuyo when she's under the influence," he snorted at her but buried his chin into the crook of his arm as he watched her with fondness dancing in his scarlet irises as she continued to bless his hand with an insurmountable amount of attention.
"Don't complain," she lightly scolded him, though a teasing edge lingered beneath her feigned chastise as a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You know you like it, Sougo."
Okita almost stammered the moment his name escaped through her pink-tinctured lips, his heart basically stopping before starting up again with a somersault as joy and love swelled in his heart. A rosy flush colored his cheeks, his skin feeling immensely warm as he once again subdued the need to kiss her breathless.
The deafening, accelerated beatings of his heart was almost overbearing, a lump caught in his throat before he swallowed thickly. He had to remind himself to compose himself before he spoke, his voice oddly low and affectionate, in spite of his sadist-like reply, "You've got a lot of nerve saying my name in a cutesy way like that, China."
"You think I'm gonna chicken out just because of you?" she scoffed at him, but giggled when he bestowed her with ticklish ministrations as his fingers scratched at the back of her nape.
"Imma call you Sougo as much as I want." This time, his thumb traced the shell of her ear, remembering the curve there to a tee. "Sougo." His cheeks gained a renewed heat as the happiness and embarrassment intensified to higher heights with each time his name rolled off her tongue. "Sougo." His poor heart was close to bursting out of his chest at the point. He was amazed at how fast and loud a heartbeat could be. "Sougo." Butterfly wings fluttered in the depths of his stomach, his insides melting into nothing but mush as she murmured his name over and over again against the bony structure of his wrist. "Sougo, Sougo. Sougo."
"If you're gonna call me Sougo," His throat was dry, "at least call me Sougo-sama."
"Hmm." She feigned consideration as she craned her head slightly to the side in a faked thoughtful manner. "I'll call you Sou-chan then."
Holy shit. If he could die right now, he'd probably die a happy man.
His cheeks were starting to ache from the incessant gleeful grin, one that he hadn't perceived was there from the very beginning, plastered on his full lips. "I should probably arrest you for threatening to prompt a heart attack from a police officer, China. You deserve to be put behind bars if you're gonna be this adorable. It's a menace to the world."
His words startled out a laugh from her. "You're funny." But the giggles eventually subsided, leaving in its wake an endearing smile as she stared deep into his eyes. Something perturbed her cerulean irises right at that moment, and Okita dared not compare it to adoration – even if the emotion peeking through her pools of blue was the closest to that. "But ya know. How I act around men when I'm feverish depends on how I feel for them. Dunno, but that's how Gin-chan described it."
Okita's jaws fell slack in surprise at the detail she unexpectedly exposed about herself, his cheeks going to flush a deeper wine red. Hold on a sec… Does that mean-?
"Like the other time when he and Shinpachi came to visit, he told me I started acting really sisterly towards him. Funny, because that's exactly how I see him. A helpless brother who needs nurturing and some good whipping for sure…" But whatever story she was about to divulge him in was abruptly put into a halt as her voice trailed off, her giggling sentences dying as low-octave snores began to fill the room.
Why the hell do you have to fall asleep now, you brat? He thought, hating the timing of her slumber as he was left to overthink things but letting her rest regardless as he simply eyed her sleeping face. If it depended on her feelings for the person, then did her being clingy and needy around him the entire day imply towards… Wait- don't hope yet, Sougo. You might get your heart broken. Or so he told himself, but he couldn't help the sliver of excitement and remnants of yearning penetrating the little thing in his chest he called his heart as he savored the feeling of her warm breath ghosting over the back of his hand with each snore.
Well, damn. Now he wasn't sure if he could sleep if he was this elated. Neither was he certain if he wanted to let go of her hand as she continued to embrace his even in her sleep.
He knew this moment wouldn't last forever no matter how much he wished for it. But if the gods were real, he prayed that at least they would drag it on a little longer. If only until he was satisfied.
A/N: I actually have another AU planned for Okikagu. Don't hate me for having too many AUs for this pair, I just have an active imagination when it comes to imagining them in different roles lmao. It's a Yakuza Sougo and Undercover Cop Kagura kind of AU. A lot of smut, and a lot of fluff. But I'm not gonna start working on that one until I finish Nirvana – not because I'm holding back, but I'd like to complete one fic of Okikagu before starting another one because I wouldn't want to burn out too early. (That's what I always say but then I'd post something new nevertheless lol)
lightbattery- Lololol, hope you liked the fluff in the previous chapter. More Okikagu interaction in this update as well, so I hope your heart will be able to take it. The next one's most likely gonna have smut so yeah XD. I'd like to think that Sougo is a hopeless romantic when he's in love – it's such a sharp but cute contrast to how sadistic he usually is lmao. Of course there's slivers of his twisted personality seeping through in some moments, but still undeniably fluff XD. Aw, I'm happy you think so dear. I'll try my best to update as frequently as I possibly can for you and my other readers :3
JuneyOkikagu- I hope your throat's okay from all that squealing lmao XD. Tbh though, I was squealing the entire time when I was writing the last chapter – and this one as well to a certain extent – so I had to stop myself and take a five-minute break once or twice the entire time lol. I'm glad that you really enjoyed the fluff aspect of the story, it's really what I like to write about the most – with smut being a close second lmao. But Sougo and Kagura suit each other really well, don't they? The amount of times I wish Sorachi would make them canon already… though the little moments in the anime are wonderful as well. I'd like to imagine Sougo being the one who's literally whipped in the relationship XD. It's cute to imagine how he acts around Kagura when he realizes that he loves her. Thank you for the praises dear. It makes me more motivated.
CheeryLola- Aw, I'm glad to see that you're constantly looking forward to my updates. The entire Gintama fandom is full with sweethearts, I swear. Lmao, if Kagura was this cute all the time around men, everyone would be head over heels for her – probably girls included lol because she's literally THAT adorable. I love her, she's a queen. Lmao, and Sougo's the MVP for these past few chapters I see. I love reading your guys' reactions to how lovey-dovey and caring he is, it's especially doubled in fluff because he rarely acts that way around anyone. Lololol, seriously? I had no idea that there was someone else who would imagine Kagura in a white dress. To be fair though, I feel white, aside from her trademark red, is one of the colors that suit her the most. It looks really good on her – though anything looks good on her. And you're welcome lovely 3 Much love to you as well for the unwavering support!
Heatherishere- Aw, I'm happy to know that you really enjoyed the previous chapter. I didn't think it was that good, so you saying it was perfect makes me more confident with my writing. Honestly, this fandom is showering me too much love and it motivates me a lot :) Lmao, I was waiting for someone to mention that reference. That episode was funny as hell – though a lot of Gintama episodes are a comedy mine lol. Lolol, Sougo's really deeply in love with her, huh? I love writing his perverted and sadistic side as much as I love portraying his more vulnerable and honest side as well. He's adorable when he's flustered and in love. Hope this new update did well too. I'd hate to disappoint any of my readers T.T I'm happy that I managed to make you guys fangirl and happy with my updates. As usual, thank you so much for the continuous support and love you show for this fic and Serendipity. And thanks for the wishes! You and the other readers are more amazing.
