Nirvana
Summary: AU. "Well, fuck you too," he had said it out of spite, despite his eyes sneaking brief glances over her body. Well, maybe he had another thing in mind when he said it. Okikagu.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.
Chapter 17
When Kagura stepped out of her house that day, she told herself to have a fucking blast. When she ambled her way to the location she had promised to meet up with her date, she told herself not to think about a certain particularly annoying sadist. When she finally arrived at the restaurant, she told herself to repudiate the overwhelming puddle of guilt brewing in the pit of her gut.
And when she was met with Saitou's ever charming smile, she tried to convince herself that she felt something for the blue-haired man standing tall in all of his handsome glory before her. And damn, did he look good. He was clad in a simple baby blue buttoned down shirt that fitted perfectly with his sapphire tinted strands, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of pitch black pants adorning his long legs. His seemingly lustrous tresses of midnight mane were slicked back to proffer him a more elegant appearance, and the gallant expression on his features was nothing short of dreamy.
Yet despite all her efforts, everything that she had attempted to force herself into feeling that very day ended up in fruitless endeavors. Instead of making her feel better, they only served to leave a bitter taste in her mouth.
Because instead of Saitou's appealing smile, she imagined Sadist's irritating shit-eating grin. Instead of Saitou's courteous greeting as he sweetly acknowledged her, she imagined Sadist's middle finger and insulting jibes. Instead of the wonderful glint in Saitou's aurelians, she imagined Sadist's detached scarlets. Instead of Saitou's well-kempt night-colored hair, she imagined Sadist's sand-tinctured locks.
Goddamn Okita Sougo. Even after all of that, he still refused to leave her alone. He was more difficult to crush than a cockroach, as the minute she tried to push any reminder of him down to the deepest depths of her mind, it would always climb back upwards to rear its stupid ugly head a second later. He was such a parasyte, clinging to her for dear life and a pain in her ass.
"You look quite delectable today, Kagura-san. Then again, you have always been rather pleasing to the eyes from the very beginning I saw you," Saitou's honeyed voice complimented her, the praise bringing her out of her reverie as she blinked twice in a dazed manner before remembering that she was with another guy.
A guy who was way nicer, way more gentleman-like and more romantic than any man she had ever met. A guy who was eloquent in his fashion of speech, and who was the personification of the prince charming that she had always craved for since she got to know raging hormones when puberty hit her like a fast truck. A perfectly sane and completely normal guy who could possibly supply her the happiness and queen-like treatment she had always wanted.
A guy who was not Okita Sougo.
For some reason, disappointment pooled in her belly at the glaring fact. A sudden nausea began to build itself in the middle of her chest as her heart tightened ever so slightly before she briskly tried to vanquish the feeling to the abyss. But to no avail, because nothing seemed to ever want to go her way when it came to the sadist.
"Oh, er, thanks. You look great yourself," Kagura responded with an odd, feigned grin curling at the corners of her lips. Despite this being the dream date she had regularly fantasized about before, she couldn't help but perceive the awkward touch in her voice when she spoke. He called her delectable, and yet her mind drifted to the time Okita told her she was adorable. For some reason, Saitou showering her with flattery elicited no effect on her, unlike the instances where her heartbeat accelerated in both tempo and pace whenever Sadist even gave any indication that he deemed her endearing.
She gracefully accepted when Saitou walked around their table and pulled back the chair for her, gesturing one hand at her to take a seat. Kagura flopped down on the furniture, the gears in her head reeling and turning for what felt like forever as constant recollections of Okita kept permeating her senses in spite of her desperate attempts at subduing them in favor of putting the entirety of her focus on the date.
"What would you like to order, Kagura-san?" Saitou asked her in the same charming manner he had inquired at her the first time he had approached her. But different from his first impression on her, she felt nothing for the fetching fashion in the way he spoke this time around. Somewhere deep in her heart, she was beginning to miss Okita's condescending and offensive taunts – but as per habit for the past few days, she once again attempted to disregard the tugging sensation at her heartstrings.
When did everything start to change between the two of them?
"Um, a lot," she tried to force out a laugh that sounded terribly fake even to her own ears as she pulled another desperate endeavor to immerse herself in the date. But either Saitou didn't notice or pretended to go along with it, she was unsure as he didn't even bother calling her out on it.
"Order anything you want," he offered, that ever-present mesmerizing smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. His voice was as sugary sweet as she could remember, but for some strange reason, she craved for Okita's patronizing baritone instead. Kagura was almost irked at herself for her poor ability to sweep the reminders of him under the carpet.
Fortunately, Saitou proceeded just in time to prevent more incessant thoughts regarding the sadist to gather in her head, "I'd be more than willing to treat you to whatever you wish to devour, milady." She expected her heart to do a somersault at the honeyed nickname he conferred her, but it didn't even skip a beat. "After all, this is my workplace, you see. I have asked the manager to let me have the entire day free, and he was even generous enough to permit me what you could call an employee's discount."
Kagura couldn't resist the line of musing that if it were the sadist, he probably would have laughed at her in the face for even considering the likelihood of him treating her to feed to her gluttonous eating habits. He would most likely even call her pig for wolfing down on everything all the time, and would even perhaps either trick or coerce her into paying for his share as well in the process. That was the asshole that Okita Sougo was, after all, but for some reason, Kagura couldn't help but reckon that she probably would have preferred that jackass of a behavior instead.
There must be something wrong with me.You've got this good-looking hunk pining over you, Kagura, so why are you thinking of Sadist? The bitter remark crossed her mind, her lips tugging down into a line of muted chagrin at herself. All of a sudden, she became patently aware of the odd feeling of tears welling in her eyes before she swiftly blinked the mistiness away from her vision. That was strange. She had to get it together.
"Really, really?" Kagura inquired for affirmation, forcing herself to simulate excitement on her face as she assumed the false pretense of a beaming grin. "No take-backs, okay? I'm really gonna help myself to all the delicious food here, and I don't wanna hear you complaining later on! I can be quite a pig, ya know," she playfully warned as she pointed a finger at him in mischievous posturing.
Unbeknownst to her, in spite of her endeavors to come across as if she even spared a portion of interest in the date, Saitou could see through each and every laughable attempt done by her to come across as if she was enjoying his presence there. And although he wouldn't go as far as to say that he had feelings for her, he had his own inflated ego to satiate and his pride demanded him to poke fun at her for defaming him in such a manner. Seriously, did she not realize how many women would die to be in her shoes right now?
"Really, really," he responded in kind, an amused – fake – bout of laughter rippling out of him before the chuckles rapidly died down, leaving in their wake only his pleasant smile as he then went on, "Besides, I've mentioned this before, haven't I? I rather adore that aspect of your personality, Kagura-san. I prefer women who are honest with what they want," but all too abruptly, the slant on his lips took on a more cryptic approach as he mouthed the following syllables in a more meaningful and more enigmatic baritone, "no matter what it is. Or who it is, for that matter."
That particular statement felt like a personal attack. But Kagura simply brushed it off with a nervous giggle before she then retorted, "Er, yeah, sure. I guess I'm really a bit uncaring when it comes to my food. Gin-chan says that I eat rice as if I drink wine, after all. I have no clue what you mean about who I want though. What are you on about really? Did you take some drugs before coming here?" She attempted to alternate the subject, suddenly uncomfortable with his passive-aggressive bearing.
Saitou had to stifle a wholehearted laugh at that. Instead, he settled with broadening the mysterious quirk on his lips as he verbalized another ambiguous reply, "Hm. I wonder." He feigned a thoughtful hum for added emphasis, the craning of his head almost sarcastic as he looked directly into her baffled ocean blue irises.
Kagura forced out an awkward girlish giggle as if to rectify the tension suddenly filling the air. "You're weird, Saitou. Though I guess that's one of your charms."
At that exact moment, Saitou seemed to mutter something under his breath that sounded awfully among the lines of, "Charms that you seem to be quite obviously immune to, princess." There was even a hint of suppressed irritation, though it was gone before she could even affirm it was even there in the first place. His rather uncanny response, as well, remained another thing she was entirely uncertain if she had heard to begin with.
She slowly fluttered her eyelids in a confused blink and swallowed an abrupt lump in her throat before asking, "What did you say?"
"Nothing of importance, I assure you," Saitou dodged the question, and instead of justifying her with a proper answer, he offered her another convenient bluff, "I was saying that you really do not need to refrain yourself from ordering as much as you'd like. I promise, it's completely on me. And I am not one to back down on my promises, Kagura-san."
Kagura wondered briefly if it was always this unnerving to be around him, but she swiftly renounced the thought as she decided to dwell on the prospect of a free meal instead. "Well, if you say so. Don't come running to me if you end up paying millions, okay?"
Saitou simply gave her a light, almost nonchalant shrug of his left shoulder. She had regularly felt as though the man was repressing a part of himself from her. But seeing the somewhat outlandish conduct he adopted throughout their so-called date, she had an inkling suspicion that she was getting a glimpse of what actually laid beneath his charming mask. He was almost terrifying to be around to be honest. And he came off a lot more menacing than Kamui – a feat she had never once assumed anyone could accomplish.
Somewhere in her head, Kagura pondered what Okita Sougo could be up to at this very moment. A part of her hoped he wasn't with another woman – as selfish as that desire might be, considering she was the one with someone else.
"'You look quite delectable today, Kagura-san'. Disgusting prick. Think he's smooth, huh?" Okita vocalized the mocking mimic and the following jealousy-imbued remark in a dissatisfied grumble as he, Hijikata and Kondo not-so-subtly concealed themselves in a nearby bush outside the restaurant.
His dark glower fixated on the pair on the other side of the transparent windows of the diner from behind the sunglasses he sported on the bridge of his nose as a deep-rooted scowl sowed itself on his full lips. A pitch black mask hid the grimace from view though as it adorned the lower half of his striking features. As if the so-called disguise was not conspicuous enough, there was the added bonus of a straw hat of all things on the top of his head.
"Oi. Keep your sadistic tendencies at bay, Sougo. You're gonna blow our freakin' cover," Hijikata groused the harsh reprimand as he grabbed at Okita's wrist just in time to stop said sadist from launching an attack on the couple. The mayo addict tried not to mull over where he had wrenched the bazooka in his hands out of, though he suspected it was something that he would rather not figure out at the moment.
Then, as mysteriously and swiftly as it had made its appearance, the bazooka disappeared into thin air a moment later. Hijikata didn't even bother chewing over the insanity though, as he decided that attempting to comprehend the man called Okita Sougo would be nothing more and nothing less than a hell he didn't wish to be in at the present. Or even the future, for that matter.
"Shuddup, Hijikata-san, yo. Keep your filthy fingers off of me, yo," Okita responded with a sudden rap-like approach as he practically yanked his wrist out of the nicotine freak's clutch. A vein began popping dangerously at one side of said nicotine freak's forehead as he fixed a deathly, withering glare on the younger male when he went on, "Instead of stopping me, go get yourself run over by a taxi in the middle of the road, yo. You stink, Hijikata-san, yo. Yeah, yo, yo. Go die, yo." Okita's insults then proceeded to reduce into nothing but unintelligible nonsense as he soon started spouting out atrocities at poor Hijikata.
The twitching of Hijikata's right eyebrow was accompanied with the small convulsion of the left edge of his lips as he growled, "Kondo-san, can I kill him?"
"Not this again. When are the two of you gonna get over whatever this is between the both of you? It's rather unbecoming, you know? Grow up already. And no, Toshi, you can't off one of our men," Gorilla heaved a sigh and tried to pay no heed to their bickering as he retrieved a pair of binoculars from the confines of the terribly noticeable furry coat he was garbed in.
He failed to discern the weird looks passer-bys sent in his direction – though neither of his subordinates appeared to notice the petrified glances flittering over them either as Hijikata and Okita soon resulted in pointing the muzzles of their guns at one another.
Hijikata permitted himself a sharp punch at Okita's gut, watching in sick satisfaction as the sadist doubled over from the spasm of pain travelling in his stomach – but his moment of victory lasted for only a short period as Okita then proffered him a sharp kick to his shin, the brute force causing the mayo addict to collapse face-first on the dirt-filled pavement beneath them. Hijikata grumbled something under his breath that resonated suspiciously like a long string of curses before finally providing a pained reply to Kondo's scolding speech.
"Kondo-san, with all due respect, have you forgotten how many times this little brat," he paused to vehemently shove a finger at the back of Okita's head, ignoring the younger male's protests as he proceeded to jab the tip of his digit against the disheveled mess of brown mane, "tried to take my life? Who the hell needs assassins when you have spawns of devils like him loitering around?"
"Relax, Hijikata-san," Okita supplied the not-so-reassuring consolation, his words a direct contrast to his actions as he reached an arm upwards to seize a deathly grip around Hijikata's index finger. "I'm only doing the world a favor by getting rid of you. This universe ain't in need of a useless hack like you after all. That said, Hijikata-san, will you please die now? In fact, just die."
A sadistic grin curved at the corners of his mouth as Hijikata muttered a bunch of barely audible 'ow's before the tormented mumbles then rose in tandem to that of high-pitched shrieks as Okita threatened to bend the single digit in his fist a good 90 degrees. The sparkle in his pools of scarlets waned to give way to a dark, chilling look as he relished in the sight of Hijikata attempting to pry his finger out of his evil clutches, though to no avail. There was a loud, echoing crack as he managed to break the bone of the mayo addict's finger before he eventually loosened his grip.
"You fucker," Hijikata's trembling syllables rippled out of him in a mixture of a gasp and a low and feral snarl as he glared daggers at the grinning Sadist, "you're only looking to do yourself a favor by killing me. That's what you've always wanted, huh, you sly bastard?!" His once failed attempts at composing himself as he provided the threatening posturing dwindled as his voice rose more than a couple of notches a few sentences later, "Oh, you're asking it for now. How about it? Wanna die, Sougo? Wanna fall into a permanent sleep right here and now?!" he basically hollered, but with his finger all bent out of shape, he didn't appear all that menacing as Okita simply blinked his detached ruby irises at him.
"Shut up, the both of you," Kondo shrewdly quipped in before Okita could afford to offend Hijikata even more, his voice a gruff and annoyed baritone as his scrutiny continued to peer through the binoculars in his hands. "After all the trouble Yamazaki went through to bribe the waiters into telling them which table Saitou booked for himself and China, even going as far as planting a hearing device beforehand, you're gonna waste all that effort he's given just to satisfy your need for a brawl, you selfish nitwits?! With all that screaming you're doing, we're not gonna be able to hear what they're saying, idiots. Especially you, Sougo. Don't forget that we're doing this because you asked for our help, you ungrateful brat," he harshly chastised as though he was blissfully unaware of the trail of blood trickling out of his nose.
Hijikata and Okita eventually directed their respective gazes at their chief for the first time ever since the start of their petty fight. Halting their meaningless argument just in time to catch the gorilla peeping through the binoculars. But instead of focusing his attention on China and Saitou, he seemed more interested in spying on Otae, who was coincidentally passing by the front of the restaurant. Hence the nosebleed he was suffering at the current moment.
Both Hijikata and Okita pinned equally clinical stares on the stalker gorilla. The former was the first one to break through the tense silence, "You're the one who's ruining our plans the most here, Kondo-san. What, did you think this was the right time to indulge in your inappropriate fantasies, you creep?!" he bellowed as he jammed two fingers through the glass material of the binocular's lenses, ensuring that he went deep enough to thrust through Kondo's indecent eyes as he basically temporarily blinded their chief.
"Toshi! How could you do that to me?!" Kondo shrieked bloody murder as a warm track of ichor formed on his cheeks, blood drizzling from his now shut eyelids after the forceful assault on his poor eyeballs. "I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Didn't do anything wrong, my ass!" Hijikata snapped back at him, another vein popping on his forehead. He then proceeded to engage himself in another mouth-war, this time with the injured Kondo as the two argued over the right timing and place to stalk the gorilla's love interest – which was never, to be honest. Neither were perceptible to the somewhat solemn expression on Okita's features as the sadist studied the rather painful sight of China with another man with an undeniable wave of envy dancing in his pools of wine red.
For all the derogatory endeavors at impersonating Saitou he had pulled, Okita could agree with the cunning devil on one thing: China really did look like the very embodiment of perfection today.
Did she get all dolled up for him? The borderline spiteful train of musing crossed his mind as he took in the strapless mini dress she was attired in, the sunflower embroideries suitable with the overall pristine tinge of the pretty gown as the hem of the chiffon fabric reached to her mid-thigh. The medium-sized hoop earrings dangling from her earlobes served to accentuate her outfit even more as he also caught the tantalizing glimpse of a matching golden necklace hanging around her neck. The equally bleached sandals adorning her feet fitted her and her overall get-up as he also discerned that she had polished her toenails a beautiful rosy hue that further amplified her appearance.
He had never seen how Kagura would appear with makeup on, but as he expected, she was nothing short of angelic as he drank in the sight of her glossy lipstick, not-so-heavy mascara and flushed cheeks in a form of an artificial blush. Still, when he thought about it, she had regularly been a natural beauty ever since their high school days – something he had taken for granted for a long time up until a while ago.
The prospect of her dressing in such an adorable manner simply for the sake of impressing a good-for-nothing scum like Saitou delivered a sharp stab at his heart. But he chose to ignore the ache in his chest in favor of tuning out Kondo's and Hijikata's exasperating grapple so that he could listen in on bits and pieces of the pairing's conversation. Inwardly, he swore to himself that he was going to make China dress up even prettier for him once he eventually staked his claim on her.
That – and he was so going to make her pay for hurting both of his feelings and his inflated ego a few days prior. Despite everything, he was still a petty vengeful bastard after all. Although, with what he had in mind, he doubted Kagura would dislike what would occur later on. He had made up his mind not to give up on her, and therefore he was willing to bide his time as long as needed to steal her heart. He was going to make her eat up her words and fall so hard for him she'd forget how to breathe. That, in essence, was his planned revenge. And BDSM too. More importantly, BDSM. Not to forget BDSM.
Oh, and did he mention BDSM? He was rather looking forward to seeing how she would look like with a collar around her neck.
"By the way, Kondo-san, how did you manage to get those two annoying nuisances out of the way in the first place?" Hijikata's now cool and collected voice reverberated in his ears and garnered his attention, snapping him out of the erotic imagery he was conjuring up in his perverted mind as he turned away from the torturous sight of China to divert his ogle at his twisted peers.
Gorilla was now rubbing off the telltale signs of blood from his face, though his efforts proved to be futile as dried ichor remained on his tanned skin as he spoke, "Who, Gin and Shinpachi-kun? Well, I gave them assignments, duh. Those simpletons might be simpletons, but they'd still get the job done even if they can't stalk their beloved sister and daughter figure on her date in the process. Can't say when they'll see it through to completion though, so I told Zaki to eliminate them before they'd even manage to take even a step closer into the restaurant."
In spite of Kondo's rather ominous choice of phrasing his response, Hijikata knew better than to believe that his chief had the heart to actually dispatch anyone; especially not when one of them were amongst their strongest force – not that Hijikata would admit it out loud of course because he rather loathed the wavy-haired asshole with all he was worth. If anything, it felt as if he was flinging boulders at himself just thinking about it.
"You say that, but the most violent thing you could ever tell Zaki to do in order to stop them is to knock them unconscious, Kondo-san," Okita chimed in, snatching the words away from Hijikata before the smoker could even emit a single letter out of his lips. "That ain't never gonna be ample to keep those idiots at bay, you know? You gotta at least shoot a bullet through their ass if you really want to restrain them. They don't have your thick ass hair, after all, so I don't think they'll have anything to defend their buttholes with."
Not surprisingly, Kondo was brisk to break into another clamour, "Oi, Sougo! Did you really mention my furry butt?! What, you think you don't have your own butt hair, you little rascal?! I'll have you know that Otae-san said that she'd love me for who I am, furry butt and all, okay?!"
And of course, Okita being Okita, couldn't resist the urge to offend the gorilla as much as he humanely could, "She never said she loves you though. You sure that's not your delusions doing the talking for you, Kondo-san?"
Hijikata quelled a self-satisfied smirk as he retrieved a single cigarette from the packet of cancer sticks in his breast pockets, lighting it up just in time to see Kondo's leg shooting upwards to proffer Okita a powerful, angry but well-deserved kick to his face.
Well, at least he was certain that their chaotic routine would be able to keep the sadist from spiralling further into his negative thoughts – or his highly obscene imagination for that matter, Hijikata concluded as he noted the slightest hints of a smile on Okita's lips in spite of the leftover boot mark on his features after the brute attack.
"You know," Hijikata started once the ruckus had somewhat abated into a calmer atmostphere. A grey puff of cloud passed from his parted lips as he expelled the smoke he had inhaled earlier before going on, "of all people, I didn't think China would be the one you'd end up falling for. With all those moments of you guys constantly butting heads with each other, she was the last person I would expect to see you drooling over. Not to mention, you even admitted it in front of those two buffoons the other day to boot. Got a death wish, huh, Sougo? A sadist in love is really a menace."
He was not shocked at all when he felt cold metal of a gun grazing one side of his neck as Okita's habitually homicidal retort came in an instant heartbeat, "Well, don't be too weirded out, Hijikata-san. I'm still after your head despite everything. That said, of course, how does death by accident sound like to you? Not that I'm planning to hire a taxi driver to run you over of course. Not today at least."
"Oi! Does that mean you've tried it before?! Does that mean you're gonna try it again another day, you jackass?! Don't tell me- you're the one responsible for the two month coma I had those couple of years ago?!"
"I have no clue what yer talking about, Oogushi-kun," or so Okita uttered with his usual aloof tone. But Hijikata knew better than to trust his words as he observed the almost animalistic sadistic grin spreading on the younger officer's face.
On second thought, Hijikata took back his initial statement as he concluded: in love or not, the man named Okita Sougo was a dangerous force to be reckoned with regardless. Himself aside, now that the sadist had his eyes set on including Saitou in his own Death Note, Hijikata could only sigh in relief at the revelation that he wasn't going to be the sole victim of Okita's abuse in the future.
A/N: I wanted to make this chapter longer, but I decided against it lol. Lack of Okikagu moments again, but I included little bits and pieces of romance in there if Kagura's thoughts are anything to go by. Bear with me for another chapter, and you guys will have your abundance of Okikagu scenes after the next update XD. I've been primarily focused on Nirvana these few days, but I chose to do so seeing as this fic is nearing its end in a few more updates. Give it 5 chapters I think, before it's completed, and then I'll shift that focus on Corrupting Me Sweetly and Serendipity.
CheeryLola, alcaponieeee, lightbattery- Yes, Saitou is a complete villain lolol but I purposely wrote his personality that way. This isn't the only fic that he's gonna play a role in after all, though I'm not gonna mention which other story that I'm putting him in lmao. But in that plot line, he's sort of a key character so yeah, (I wanted to make him a bit likable but I was more interested in making him a pseudo-antagonist OC, to serve as a constrast to his charming exterior because that'd be more intriguing than just making him a relatively nice guy. Not that being a nice guy is a bad thing, I just love juxtaposition in my characters I guess). All in all, he's designed to be that one character you'd love to hate. I love that I'm making my readers feel all sort of emotions throughout this entire fic (smut, fluff, and frustration included). Still, I promise that all those frustrations will be worth it by the end of this story. I feel sorta bad for making Kagura come across as a jerk though, but with my plans for the upcoming characters, I promise that she'll make it up to both Sougo and the readers (for the frustrations lol). And yes, of course Sougo being a sadist isn't gonna yield that easily – he's one of the most peskiest, persistent characters alive (if his constant attempts at murdering Hijikata are anything to go by, and some other factors too of course), if anything. lmao, though I adore that trait of his. As usual, thank you for the active reviews and thank you for being so concerned over my health. You all are so sweet :')
