"I'm on first watch, what do you say to a game of checkers?" Sonny asks me once we are checked into the hotel.
I shrug, looking out of the window "I'm gonna get cleaned up, is my bag here?" I look to him over my shoulder.
"They took it as evidence. We can get the contents of it tomorrow after the bag is processed." He tells me, apologizing in his tone. He leans down to his bag and pulls something out "I did grab my sweats from my locker before we left, figurin' you'd want something more comfortable to sleep in." He offers it to me holding his arm out "it's nothing fancy, but it should do the trick." His smile is lopsided.
"It's fine, thanks Sonny." I go over and accept the t-shirt and sweats from him. I leave the room and close the door to the bathroom. I turn the water on and let it run before stepping inside. The shower is long as they have been since the rape and I use both bottles of soap the bathroom had in it.
I come out of the bathroom clothed and ready to sit and wallow in my misery but Sonny sits at the table with Chinese food and a game of checkers already set up. "Come get somethin' to eat." He waves me over.
I walk over "I'm not very hungry." I say, although the smell of the food is making my stomach growl.
He laughs "I think your stomach disagrees with you. I got a bit of everything, didn't know what you'd like." He starts going over the different containers "eggs rolls, orange chicken, lo mein-" I stop him from going on.
" He starts going over the different containers "eggs rolls, orange chicken, lo mein-" I stop him from going on
"Okay, fine. I'll eat something." I stop him and sit across, grabbing a plate and pulling out an egg roll. "I'm black." I spin the game around and start the game.
"Ugh, I'm so full!" I sit back into the chair after taking Sonny's last game piece. "Best of three should've been over after game 2." I laugh to him.
"Maybe chess is more my thing." He sits back as well, taking an egg roll into his hand and biting into it.
"I appreciate this a lot. It actually got my mind off of everything going on." I tell him putting my hand under the shirt and rubbing my now full stomach "I can't remember the last time I ate this much food." I smile.
"You really can throw it down." He chuckles pointing down at something on the shirt.
I look down and see the duck sauce stain by the neckline "Oh no! I'm so sorry!" I grab a napkin and dab at it, the dry material only rubbing the stain in further. "Shit" I mutter standing up and moving to the sink in the bathroom. I wet a towel and start working on the stain again.
"Hey, it's alright. Just my graduation t-shirt." He stands behind me, smiling through at me from the mirror. I lower my hand and my eyes, trying to hide the tears that are falling down my cheek. "Addison, I'm sorry. I was just kidding, really, it's just a shirt."
"I'm sorry." I choke out, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
He reaches out to me "come here," he offers me his arm and I accept it, moving into his chest and letting myself cry for the second time. After a while the tears stop falling and I sit up and wipe my nose with my arm "better?" He asks when my eyes meet his. We've moved to the couch, unbeknownst to me.
I nod and say the only thing I can think to say "I'm sorry."
He shakes his head "it's just a shirt." He says again.
I shake my head this time "not about that. About this." I gesture to myself "I always seem to lose control of my emotions when your around, it's not your job to deal with me." I choke out, my throat still raspy from the crying.
"It's my job to catch the guy who did this to you. To protect you from him while he's still out there." He tries to assure me.
I half smile "I wish I knew you before all this happened." I whisper out, not knowing where that announcement came from. He pauses for a moment and I realize I went to far "I'm-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It was wrong." I apologize quickly.
"It's alright." He stops me from embarrassing myself further. "I wish I knew you sooner too Addison." He returns the words to me and my numbing heart twirls with something small, beating just a bit faster "but I know you now." He rubs a finger over my hand but just as quickly as it is there it is gone and he's standing up. "Why don't you get some sleep. I'll be right outside the door." He turns and leaves me there, feeling more confused then before.
I lay in the bed unable to sleep, my mind speeding through the events that transpired all within the past 24 hours. I came face to face with the man who raped me but I'm more focused on what happened with Sonny in the hotel earlier. It's been hours since he's been waiting outside and I can't take it anymore. I throw the blanket off of myself and beeline to the door. "Sonny, can we talk about-" but I stop when I see Rollins at the door at not Sonny. "Oh, sorry." I stop in the doorway.
"Is there something I can help you with?" She asks, eyeing me.
"Uhm, no. I was just uhh, hoping for some coffee." I make up on the fly.
She looks down to her watch "it's 3:30 in the morning?" She questions.
"Uh, yeah. I can't really sleep so might as well.." I shrug.
She nods "we can walk down the street to a bodega?" She offers.
I try to decline "Nah, it's late, I don't want you to have to walk in the cold with me. I can wait till later."
"No, no. It's fine, I'm here anyway. Grab that sweater from before and we'll get going." She smiles. I smile reluctantly in return and we leave the hotel.
