This is what happens when someone asks me for a version of "Modern Major General" about Hermione Granger...
I am the prime example of a mudblood magic know-it-all
I've read about the hex, the curse, the jinx and also ritual
I met the ghosts of Hogwarts (the fat friar is adorable)
And think the history prof is only here 'cause he's affordable
I'm thoroughly familiar too with concepts arithmantical
I memorized the textbook: Numerology Grammatica
And I might be a witch but I will offer no apology
For telling you I do not have the patience for astrology!
I'm quite adept with brewing, made a potion that they teach in N.E.W.T's
While only second year and did it sitting in a girl's loo.
So whether it's in spellcraft or some other theory mystical
I am the prime example of a mudblood magic know-it-all
I've learned our violent history from the goblin wars to Grindlewald
In my first potions lesson I knew what else Monkshood could be called
I figured out that Lupin was a werewolf on the first full moon
And Black had been the one that gifted Harry his new racing broom.
I can transfigure beetles into buttons and then banish them
Or conjure 10 canaries, send them at you and then vanish them
Then with a happy mem'ry I will cast a spell superior
An otter that can gambol as it chases off a dementor
And rattle off a chain of spells that keep a campsite safe from harm
Or block unfriendly fire with a semi-solid shield Charm
In short if you need spellwork that is eminently practical
I am the prime example of a mudblood magic know-it-all
And I can do enchanting with expansion charm or protean
Or with a curse of acne on the face if someone turns us in.
When I can travel backwards to a time that I have lived before
and stand with my friend Harry against even all of Gryffindor
When I can tell from context clues a monster is a basilisk
And then convince a prefect that a mirror mitigates the risk
When everyone is flummoxed and then I come in and solve it all
You'll say a magic mudblood witch is the best one to call.
That's not to mention elf rights but when I become the Minister
though you might think my policies encourage something sinister
you'll find that in all matters economic and political
I am the prime example of a mudblood magic know-it all
