Hands stuffed into his uniform's pants pockets, Mattholomule's shoulders hunched in mild bristle and his eyes were narrowed slightly as they focused on the stone of Hexside's corridors. The tanned, bowl-cutted brunette's lips were tugged taut in a small grimace of irritation, for if he looked up from the well-polished school flooring, all he would see would be giddy couples and students chattering with anticipation for Grom Night.
It wasn't that Mattholomule was disinterested in Grom Night. It was the biggest party of the year for students, and it was sure to be a spectacle watching the one crowned Grom Royalty battle to subdue the demon Gromethius for another year...but did everyone have to be so gooshy about it?!
For the past week, it seemed like you couldn't walk anywhere without running into at least a dozen date proposals, gossip about plans to ask someone out, or friends discussing nerves about asking someone out. At this point, it appeared just about everyone was excited for the dance and had a date.
Well, Matt didn't.
But then, who cared? He didn't want a date! Let everyone have their stupid sappy fun. Just don't force him to look at it!
Sure, maybe he'd considered asking someone. Maybe he'd given an extra glance around now and again, curious if someone was going to ask him. But observation was more than enough to tell him no one was interested. Before he could even consider it past a whim, he'd seen the cute boy from the Potions Track meeting up with another boy and gleefully start discussing Grom plans. The girl next to Matt in Construction class was much the same story, talking his ear off at length about how she and her boyfriend were planning the cutest matching outfits before Matt could even consider forming the question.
Sure, maybe he had tried to probe a bit about who did and didn't have dates yet among his classmates. He didn't really have friends,but he was on good enough terms with some fellow students to network. Although mysteriously, anyone he asked about the topic who was supposedly free quickly darted their eyes away and said they'd actually found somebody, were just going with a group of friends, or promptly changed the subject. Matt could take a hint. Nobody wanted him to get to asking.
But again, who cared? If that was how it was, so be it. He was a self-declared jerk, so he didn't expect most people to be capable of handling him. He didn't want friends. Or anyone to like him. That's how it had worked at Glandis, his old school. Power was more important. Influence mattered more than relationships. He didn't need them. Never mind if his parents had decided to move him to Hexside because he was scrawny, small, not the best at magic, physically exhausted and falling behind...no! He was still Glandis tough, and these Hexside nerds just couldn't handle a commanding attitude. It was them who were weak.
Gaze finally lifting as he approached the door of the emptied classroom reserved for his club, Matt let a small smug beam play crookedly across his lips. At last. Here was a place he held all of the power. No sappy talk would be allowed here on his watch. And, as his thoughts turned to the club members he reigned over, a second cheerful notion crossed his mind. He might be a dateless loser, but he wouldn't be the only one. Namely, Augustus, the boy Mattholomule had taken power from, surely wouldn't have been able to get one either. He was inferior to Matt in every way, after all. Younger, dorkier, softer, sweeter, weirdly kind to Matt after a brief period of spitefulness post-takeover...he'd even taken the fake human relics Matt had made home after their conflict, calling them 'fascinating and high quality replicas' despite not being authentic. Something he could study without worrying about damaging real treasures.
That last point nagged Matt simply because he couldn't understand it. Did Augustus think he was proving some kind of point by being overly civil? Did he think big of himself just because he'd turned back to rescue Matt when they'd both been thrown into the student-eating Detention Pit? That he'd win the club members back over or get special treatment by cozying up to the leader? Well, Matt was never going to let that happen. They were rivals. Always would be. Gus could be as nice as he wanted, he wasn't going to change Matt's opinion about him.
Catching himself thinking about the other boy by his nickname, and feeling almost a wisp of admiration for Augustus' maturity, Matt promptly grunted at himself and stuffed it down. He didn't like anything about Gus! Augustus! Saving him from Detention didn't prove or change anything! And he was going to affirm to himself just how much of a worthless loser that illusionist squirt was just as soon as he saw-
Matt gasped as he reached for the door handle, head turning at the sound of several shoes arriving behind him and seeing Augustus on his way to the Human Appreciation Society as well, accompanied by a boy and a girl he didn't recognize. They both held hopeful expressions while the dark-skinned boy held his hands up and appeared apologetic. Quickly, Matt squashed himself against the lockers near the door and pursed his lips in suspicion as he eavesdropped. So far as he knew, Augustus didn't have any connections outside that plant witch and the human. Ugh, Matt only seethed with more bitterness knowing how tight his rival was with an actual human.
"I'm sorry, guys," Augustus was saying to the pair, "I can't go to Grom with anyone. You see, I'm actually MC-ing for the fight. This witch is gonna dish~." A brief pause where he performed a comedic suave pose and shared a minute laugh with the others.
Matt's eyes inflated. Wait, what?!
The short boy in blue continued, "It's thoughtful of you to ask, but I'm gonna need to work on my material. Also I do swing both ways, but I just don't think polyamory is for me. Best of luck, though!" Seeming to take it in stride, the others left as they shared a small wave with the illusionist.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Augustus sagged and let out a tense breath before perking back up and putting his hands on his hips. "Well, that was awkward and terrifying!"
Taking two steps forward, he then yelped as he spotted Mattholomule now scrunched against the end of the lockers, posed in a useless and panicked attempt to hide himself.
"Mattholomule?" Augustus questioned, "Shouldn't you be inside already?" Gasping in realization, he then squinted suspiciously and turned his head slightly. "Were you waiting to jump me? Because I should warn you, I've developed a taste for pranks."
Meanwhile, Matt had had a very strange and unexpected internal battle in the last five or so seconds. First he'd felt a perk of attention in his heart hearing that Augustus could be attracted to boys. Then he'd immediately furrowed his brow and puzzled as to why he would have cared. Why he would even pick out that detail. Then he'd been mad. Mad at Augustus for being even more confusing. Mad that he was getting asked to Grom. Mad that he was choosing to be dateless! And lastly, he'd realized he'd wasted his window to act naturally or even slip quietly into the classroom, panicking and flailing his limbs uselessly as he failed to settle on a pose that wasn't suspicious as he was spotted.
Attempting to rectify that now, Matt adopted a haughty stance and shot back, relying on his cunning, "I was coming to see what was taking you so long, Augustus. You know we can't start until every member is present."
The black-haired boy quirked a brow. "But I'm not even late."
Mattholomule scowled. "Maybe not, but you're still wasting time. Was that what you wanted? Schmoozing in the halls with your adoring fans? You think you're better than us? Huh? You think you're better than me?!"
Without realizing it, his fists had clenched by his sides as he leaned angrily forward into Augustus' personal space, the boy equal his height leaning back and holding both palms up in confused relent.
"Wh-What are you talking about?" Gus returned meekly, "I was just telling them I couldn't go to Grom with-"
"I heard!" Mattholomule interjected, "You think you're sooo special because you get to pick and choose, don't you? You don't need a date!"
Augustus' brows pinched upward in further confusion. "Do you...need a date?" This was the only thing he could think was possibly making Matt upset right now. Jealousy.
Eyes widening as he felt another odd twinge in his heart upon hearing those words from this boy, Mattholomule caught himself riled up and shamefully stepped back, but held a steady posture. He wouldn't show weakness, but on some level he was supposing maybe it hurt more than he thought that he was so undateable. If Augustus was getting offers he could turn away, that meant Mattholomule was the worthless one here. And it made him angrier than expected that there was no one out there for him. But then...was it him, or had Augustus asking that question almost sounded like he might offer fill in if Matt did need a date?
"No, I don't!" the bowl-cutted boy scowled curtly, "I don't need anyone. Unless you count all of my club members' butts in their seats!" Pointedly, he pushed the door open with a short jerk, and gestured a palm inside as it swung slowly open. His hard gaze remained on the darker boy.
Rolling his eyes, assuming Matt was just on a power kick or something, Gus entered the classroom with a sarcastic salute and a, "Yes sir, your Majesty..!"
With only a minor curl of his lip, Mattholomule let the comment slide as he followed inside, deciding he'd quelled the situation aptly, and fittingly went to the teacher's desk to place a crown on his head from the satchel he'd brought with him. A piece of masking tape was plastered over the front reading 'PRESIDENT', and it was the very crown he'd taken from Augustus when he'd lost the title.
"Now then," Mattholomule proceeded in a more composed fashion as the final party took a seat beside the goat-like demon boy of the group, "Today we have a very crucial part of the human lifestyle to discuss. We've seen artifacts and clothing every now and again, but what about an actual human dwelling~? Based on what we've seen so far, I think we can speculate a pretty good guess."
Perking, a girl whose head was a giant eyeball with hair inquired, "Mm phmm hm pm mumm mm hmm pmm?"
Beaming and nodding smugly, Mattholomule granted, "Yes, we get to design them." Upturning his satchel, he let an array of junk fall out onto the teacher's desk. Picking up a deteriorated plastic bag, he noted, "For instance, based on how we see so many of these hats..." Turning the bag upside down, he stuck his pointed ears through the handle loops and swirled a knot in the top to make it stay on, "...aaaand how sweaty they make your scalp, I think it's safe to say that humans live in snow burrows! Possibly carved out ice buildings." Turning, he drew a rudimentary sketch of an underground society dug into a mountain.
The club members 'oooo'ed and "aaaah"ed at the proposition and nodded along to the idea.
A witch girl with long brown hair pondered, "Maybe that's why those hats are shaped like that. They help the human float down to get food from warmer climates!" On a piece of paper, she drew a quick diagram of a stick person using the plastic bag to drift off of a pointy mountain like it was a parachute.
Curiously, Matt looked up at the thing on his head and took it back off, opening it up into full form and holding it by the handles, eyes sliding from it to the desk.
Gus' hand shot up. "Oo! Oo-oo-oo-ooo!" He almost sounded like a small dog in his eagerness.
Flatly, Matt rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes, Augustus?" He was probably about to take the fun out of everything.
Excitedly, Gus shared, "Luz has actually told me some very interesting things about human dwellings. Some of them are just a bunch of cramped boxes stacked on top of each other, and each box is its own house that you live in with people you don't like, and you have to pay for it forever! It's called 'ah-parrt-maaaanz'..!"
As his hands spread to accent the word, the club murmured again in interest, and the brunette girl with freckles noted, "How primitive..!" The goat boy took his own attempt at drawing a structure and presented a very unstable tower of about twenty badly-clumped loose cubes with a roof on the top layer. "Like this?"
Gus shrugged. "I would assume so!"
Seeing his rival steal the spotlight as he flaunted his human connection again, Mattholomule's eyes narrowed as he made a quiet strained sound. Not again. Not today. Here was where Mattholomule was supposed to be able to shine!
"That's nice and all?" he passed off with a loose flap of his wrist, "But I vote we put these ideas into action!"
Grinning, he slammed his hands onto the teacher's desk and leapt up, standing tall with his arms overhead and the plastic bag in parachute position.
The club gasped collectively, most with stars in their eyes. They clapped with encouragement, wanting to see Matt fly. Gus was the only one whose lips shifted unsurely. "Do you know how to work that thing?" he wondered, "What if it's broken?"
"Pshhh!" Matt passed off again, "How hard can it be? Watch and learn, twerp."
That said, with a short grunt of effort, he jumped with all his might. And majestically, he soared for half a second before crashing like a rock, face first into the floor as a mangled heap. The bag drifted gently to a rest on the back of his head.
"Tssssst! Ooooo..." Gus winced, but then was unable to prevent himself from having a stifled snort and a giggle at the spectacular failure. "Well, I've certainly learned how not to use a human flying hat," he noted to his fellow H.A.S. members, who were having an even harder time containing their snickers over Matt's graceless swan dive into the floor.
Hearing the laughter thicken after Gus' highly unwelcome remark, Mattholomule's face was already burning before he moved. Luckily, his face was plenty red from the fall and his blush went unnoticed as he stood with a firm but embarrassed glower. He refused eye contact with any of them, not finding their attempts at politely containing their mirth good enough.
Gus blinked. "Hey, woah, are you okay, Matt? Your nose..."
The others gave a quieter gasp this time, concerned as it became apparent that Matt's nose was leaking a steady stream of blood.
Tasting it, Matt reached to touch the warm stream and confirmed it was there when his fingers came away dotted with red.
Staring at it for a moment, he felt his heart sink along with his conviction. There was no recovering from this now. He'd ruined his chance to shine even in the one place he was supposed to have control. Augustus had ruined it for him, playing the human-knowing star as always. The tanned boy had been looking forward to this place of solace all week, and he just..!
Fist curling, Mattholomule simply looked to the side and muttered, "Actually...I think I'm just gonna head home for today. You guys do what you want. I don't care."
Leaving the items he'd brought where they'd fallen, he simply grabbed the strap of his satchel as he strode heavily past on his way to the door. The others watched with sympathy, and Gus' eyes fell to the crown that had been knocked off when Matt took his tumble. It had come to a rest near his stool and he bent to retrieve it. It wasn't like Matt to leave his status symbol. "Wait, Matt..! Don't you want your stuff? I can take it for you on the way to the Healing Covener's Office if it's too much..!"
Mattholomule's fingers clenched on the door frame, hating how the offer sounded so...pleasant and genuine. And even worse, how it made his insides feel the weirdest pang. Guilt? Gratitude? Weakness. "Stop being familiar with me..!" he warned, "I don't need help. I'll take care of it myself. You go ahead and take that, huh? It's still what you want, isn't it?"
As he left, shutting the door a bit harder than necessary, Gus' brow furrowed in a bit of regret as he looked down at the crown. He felt bad for laughing and being snide. Yes, he missed being the president, and he'd been bitter about being usurped initially, but he'd quickly realized being petty was just going to ruin the club for everyone. Instead he'd been hoping being kind and being an example would help Mattholomule loosen up a little bit. He couldn't help but think there had been some truth to the deceiving speech he'd given about how he'd faked his human treasures because he wanted acceptance and friends. And the more time he'd spent around Mattholomule the more Gus thought it seemed the other boy really did value his time with the club. He was as excitable and dorky deep down as any of them, he could tell.
Sure the two still sniped at each other and considered one another rivals, but Gus was trying to take another page from Luz's book and use the olive branch to show a better way. Key word, trying. Something was clearly eating at Mattholomule today, too, only Gus did not feel qualified to go after him or pry at all. Who was qualified? That boy shut everyone out hard.
...
Splashing his face with one final round of water from the sink in the boy's restroom, Mattholomule gave his reflection a hard stare, satisfied to see that his coloration had returned to normal and that the bleeding had finally stemmed. At least he hadn't broken anything.
His thoughts swirled around Augustus. He wanted to make a fool of Mattholomule, did he? Act weird and confuse his head? Laugh him out of his own club? Try and be nice after humiliating him? Well, Matt would show him. He'd show everyone he wasn't the bigger loser! He'd...he'd get something Augustus couldn't! Yeah! He was going to get a date to Grom!
Determination setting in, Mattholomule dried his face and departed the bathroom, eyes keen as he assessed the leftover students still milling about the halls. One. Surely one was still in need of someone to go with..!
Then, in what he would consider to be the first stroke of luck he'd had all week, he heard it. Just up ahead a feminine voice was lamenting, "I've got to go to Grom with somebody..! I don't even care who at this point, but all of my picks were taken. All of them!"
Matt looked. It was a pure white, single-eyed demon girl from the Oracle Track, with a head shaped like an upturned crescent of bone. She was speaking to a dark-skinned girl with a fluffy two-toned ponytail and a pink three-eyed girl with an equally pink bun and bangs.
The small-framed boy was pleasantly surprised to realize he could identify the trio. He knew Skara, the girl with the ponytail, through Bo, the freckled girl in the Human Appreciation Society. And he knew Skara ran with Boscha, the pink girl, and her crew. Everyone knew Boscha because she was the captain of the only sports team they had and a real nasty piece of work. She owned the school with an iron fist. And the girl lamenting her lack of dating options was recognizable through association with Boscha. She was also the most approachable of that crew. Truly, a stroke of luck.
Boscha inspected her nails disinterestedly. "Well, you better think of someone fast, because not being seen with a date at the event of the season is so not cool. You can't be seen with us if you can't be seen with a date. That's just the rule."
Skara looked a bit more sympathetic. "Don't worry, you've still got time..! I can help you look if you want..!"
Having strode closer, Matt paused in his walk to toss the girls a side glance. "Don't bother. Wanna go with me, Seline? I'm free. Or whatever."
The crescent-headed girl curled her arms a bit unsurely, her overly long sleeves covering her claws as they bumped. "Oh, uh...you're...Bo's friend, right? You do that...human thingy."
"Appreciation Society, yes," the boy nodded, "Mattholomule. President. So you wanna go or what?" The longer he stood here, the more he felt nerves settling in. Anger had given him the push to ask, but hearing hesitation despite the girl's desperation formed a pit of preemptive defeat in his stomach.
"Uh..." Seline fidgeted her covered fingers, glancing her yellow eye between Boscha's stoically quirked brow, Skara's supportive but tense smile, and Mattholomule's thin-lipped apprehension. "Uh...okay. Sure."
Matt blinked, his spine straightening as he almost thought he hadn't heard correctly. "Wait...really?"
"Why not?" Seline shrugged with a smile, "This way everyone's happy."
"Uh...right! Yeah. Cool. Cool cool." Matt could hardly believe it. She'd said yes! The first person he'd asked! He had a date! The wave of relief was unimaginable, and the rush that followed was one of unexpected giddiness. He felt like the total opposite of a loser. She'd said yes! "So...you want me to pick you up, orrr..?"
"Let's just meet here," Seline offered, "It's easier."
"Right. Yes. Easy. Not like I have a staff or anything to get there, either. Haha...none of us do...yet. Ohhhh man, I'm still talking. Well. See you at the dance! Or whatever!" With the meet-up agreed on, Matt quickly turned and took his leave to shut himself up before he rambled his way into an even worse humiliation than at the club.
Watching the bowl-cutted boy depart, as soon as he was gone, Skara leaned towards Seline and inquired, "Did you really just settle with mule boy..? I can still ask around...Bo says he's kinda weird. And he's so gremlin-y..." She swiped clawed hands a few times in distasteful illustration.
Curling her arms tighter, Seline returned sheepishly, "I just felt kinda bad for him...he's probably desperate too. But it's true, right? Tomorrow's gonna be all about us anyway, and now we can all get what we want! Easy peasy!" She reached to grab her gal pal's hands, pleased she'd solved the conundrum so fast.
Boscha smirked. "Auh. You're so charitable, Seline! First letting Willow think she deserves attention, and now this? Better watch it, or you'll end up giving your status away like Amity did~."
Seline blanched to be reminded of the girl who used to be Queen Bee around here. Despite the playful tone Boscha used, the crescent-headed girl did not take the words lightly. She knew they held weight. And she did not in fact wish to be seen as someone social leeches could latch onto. She hadn't realized that's where her soft side had been leaning. She didn't want to go back on her word, but she wasn't exactly interested in the boy who ran the dweeby human club either. Well, she could do him one favor. He'd enjoy getting to say he'd been her date.
...
As soon as he got home, Matt was rooting through his closet. He only had until tomorrow to find something to wear! For the first time in what felt like forever, he wanted to smile a real smile. He wanted to dress up to match the swell of elation behind his ribs. He felt...validated! In a way everyone could see! He'd finally been able to ask someone out, and the answer was yes!
Digging through his closet, however, proved to be an issue. Most of Matt's clothes were fairly drab in color, and in a word...scruffy. Fur sashes, arm warmers worn with holes, outdoor boots...plenty of stuff that would be at home on the streets or out in the woods, but nothing particularly dance worthy. It was only natural, as his family was not one who could spend lavishly, but he'd hoped he'd had something that could look halfway decent. He bet Gus was going to dress nicely. He'd probably look amazing, especially if he was going to be onstage. He'd wear something blue. He always looked good in blue.
Matt blinked, catching himself thinking strange things again. He'd gotten carried away comparing himself to Gus, listing into admiring his appearance. How had that even happened? Had it happened? No. No, he was probably just mixing up his competition with the excitement over his date. That sounded right. Gus - Augustus! - wasn't attractive. Matt just wanted to look better than him. And look good for Seline.
Giving up on his closet, Matt left his room and wandered down the hall to the top of the stairs. There he leaned loosely to yell, "Hey, Ma! We got anything I can wear to Grom?!"
From the kitchen, a sharp voice called back curiously, "Huh? Oh, are you going to that?! I thought you were undecided!"
"Yeah, of course I'm going! I got a date! So do we have something or what?!"
"I dunno, hun, check the storage closet! Maybe you can find your suit from your cousin's wedding!"
"What?! Maaa, I was eight when that happened!"
"Well, it's storage or nothing, Squeaky! And get your brother while you're at it, dinner's almost ready!"
Matt groaned at the nickname stemming from the term 'pipsqueak', and the fact that he would have to interact with his older brother. His mother didn't even seem to care that he wanted to look nice for a date.
Turning back, he headed to the end of the hallway, at which was a closet he knew would be packed full of hand-me-downs, decorations, photos and other junk the family decided to keep. On the wall to the left was another door which Matt hammered the side of his fist into.
"Hey, Jerkface! Mom says she wants you for dinner!"
Muffled from within, a deeper voice returned, "Yeah, well tell her to wait a minute, shrimp! I'm almost done deciphering these runes!"
Matt rolled his eyes. For a history nerd, his brother was a real pain. Deciding to leave it at that and that his mother would find out her older son's intentions on her own, the bowl-cutted boy instead turned to the closet and began rooting. Every shelf was crammed with boxes, and many of them were spilling their contents. Almost nothing was organized, and finding clothing was a process. Still, some old things of his brother's, and even his father's were found. They might have been passable, but the slacks were easily too long. They were put in a maybe pile.
Then, to his delight, Matt located one of the few boxes that was actually neatly packed, and it did indeed contain dress clothes. He pulled out the trim red suit he'd worn to that wedding several years ago, giving it a scrutinizing once-over. There was no way...he'd been thinking he could find some hand-me-downs in here he could borrow, but did the suit look..?
Deciding it was easier and he had enough options, Matt took the entire box back to his room. He tried his family's clothes, but soon found himself grunting in annoyance as he stared in the mirror, dressed in that crisp red suit. It still fit. Dang it. But at least it looked good.
"You comin', Squeaky?!" was hollered from the floor below.
Matt flinched, not having realized how long he'd been taking trying on clothes. In a hurry he bolted downstairs, slowing as he approached the table in the open kitchen.
"Sorry, Mom. I found some stuff in the closet like you said. But hey, you were right. My old suit was in there, and...well, it fits..!"
Lifting a huge platter of a forest beast she'd carved herself, the taller woman glanced at the small boy. "We can see that, hun. Is your party tonight? You should have said something, I wouldn't have bothered setting you a place."
Matt blinked. "Huh? No, it's not until tomorrow. Why..." Glancing down, he realized he forgot to change before coming downstairs and his lips formed an embarrassed waver.
Behind his mother, a much taller, more muscular boy with a ponytail moved to put another dish on the table before stepping to meet Matt. He promptly swept the smaller boy into a headlock and noogied his scalp firmly. "Awwww, look at our little shrimp~! He hasn't grown a day! It's like he's a baby frozen in time! Oh, but I'm jealous how well your clothes keep. At this rate, you'll be able to wear that suit to your own wedding, too~!"
Wriggling, Matt blushed and fought to get out of his stronger sibling's grip. "Heyyy! Owww, stop it! At least I'm not ugly like your sorry mug! Let go-a me! Maaaa! Tell him to cut it out!"
"Make me!" the older boy sneered.
Sitting in her chair, the boys' mother breezed, "Your brother's right, Squeaky, you've gotta learn to fend for yourself! It's the only way you'll grow up, and you can't stay here forever."
Matt's face tightened grimly. He should have known by now asking for help was pointless. Why did he still do it?
With a smug smirk, satisfied with the muss in Matt's hair, the older boy let go and took his own seat. Meekly, Matt smoothed his frizzed locks as best he could and sat too. Glancing between the two digging right in, he polled, "We aren't waiting for Dad..?"
"He's staying late tonight, hun. He probably won't be home until after we've gone to bed."
Looking down at his plate, Matt simply returned a disappointed, "Oh."
His mother carried on, not seeming to notice the tone. "So you said you found a date for your Grom Night, right? Good for you, Squeaky. Are they cute~?"
"Are they blind?" quipped the older boy beside her.
Matt grunted sharply. "No! Her name's Seline, and she's...alright. Kinda nice. I don't really know her that well, but I still think this could be cool." With a small sheepish hunch, he allowed himself a minute hopeful smile as he thought about how fun the date could be. Who knew? Maybe he actually would end up feeling something.
"Ah, so she's desperate."
"That's enough for now, Books. Well, hun, I hope you have a nice time with her. So what are those runes you've been up there picking at all week?"
As his brother began explaining the research he'd been performing, Matt felt overshadowed by how quickly his mother had swapped between focuses. Did she really care about his first date? Did she realize it was his first date?
Quietly, Matt reached for a cut of meat before it was stolen. It was first come, first served around here. He let his thoughts turn back to Grom. Even if his family wasn't interested, he was still excited. He'd tentatively wanted to go just for the party, but now he was actually looking forward to it. Feeling butterflies about it. He was going to do his best to make the most out of the night, and he wondered what kinds of things Seline was going to want to do while they were together.
...
Dressed in his prim red suit once more as the next night fell, Matt felt a jittery smile on his lips, but it was also an eager one. Straightening his yellow bow tie, he then took a few hesitant self-indulgent poses to admire himself. If Augustus could see him now, he'd probably be so stunned his jaw would hit the floor.
He spent a moment there, beaming absently to himself as he imagined a number of taken reactions on Gus' part as he entered the room, only to then harden his expression in perplex as he once again caught the direction his thoughts had been drifting. Shouldn't Augustus be more like...envious? Humbled? Shamed? Not drooling over him. That should be what Seline was doing. Or well...she should at least be who he was trying to impress.
Shaking his head to clear it of what must have been more weird jumbled up ideas, Matt focused on how much fun he was going to have at the party and how he was looking forward to meeting up with Seline and her friends. He headed downstairs and glanced at the table his family was sitting at. Of course tonight was a night his father had decided to join them.
With a sigh, Matt turned for the door as it appeared no one was going to pay him any mind, only for his mother to glance up and stand, trotting over with a small camera demon in hand.
"Ah! Hold on, hun, just a sec."
In a flash of light, the demon had captured the surprised image of Matt opening the door with his lips in an O, and spat a print of it into the woman's hand. She glanced at it and then up at him.
"No girl? Did she stand you up, Squeaky?"
Rubbing away the flash, Matt grumbled, "No, Mom. We're meeting up at school." At least his family hadn't completely disregarded this event.
"Oh, well, take lots of pictures for me there, then," the woman chirped.
"Otherwise we won't believe she's real!" chipped in the ponytailed boy from the table.
Matt's face fell into an unimpressed grunt.
The woman looked amused. "Oh, hush, Books." To her younger son she added, "You have fun, though, hun! Come back with some good stories~!"
As she headed back to the table, Matt gave a lop-sided awkward smile. "Y-Yeah. Thanks." With a pause to glance at his father's back, the man not having reacted to the farewell, the short boy then turned back for the door. "Well...see ya."
And then he was out in the cool evening air, on his way and basking in the revelation that this was actually happening. His smile widened as he walked to his destination, tense but happy.
At the doors to Hexside's auditorium, Matt stood for a good handful of minutes, rubbing his wrist, rocking on his heels, glancing around every few seconds, not sure if he'd missed Seline already or she hadn't shown up. They hadn't agreed on a specific time, but he'd assumed they would meet up when the dance was scheduled to start. Dare he go inside? Would that be rude? What if she was waiting on him in there?
Then Seline arrived. She was flanked by Boscha, Skara, Bo, and their dates. Her attire for the evening was a simplistic long red dress with frilled straps at the shoulders. Matt perked at the arrivals.
"Oh, thank goodness. I wasn't sure if you were all here or not. Sorry if I'm not like...fashionably on time or whatever. But um. You look good...Seline. And hey! Look! We match! That's a fun coincidence, huh?"
Seline glanced over the sweaty boy in red, lips pursed. She didn't want to be rude, but he was already being weird. Had he never been to a dance or something?
"Uh...yeah. Fun..!" she shrugged, offering a small smile.
Bo greeted, "Hey, prez. Good to see your face healed up. Does it still hurt anywhere? I'm not licensed but I could probably reduce the leftover swelling..."
Matt blanched, cheeks heating as his brilliant moment during the last club meeting was brought up. "What? No, there's no swelling..! I'm fine!"
Bo blinked. "Oh, sorry. I could have sworn your nose was normally less...um, never mind." Modestly she grabbed her wrist in front of her hips, glancing to the floor beside her.
While Matt frazzled over how he now sounded like a klutz with a weird nose, Boscha was rolling her eyes in boredom. "Okay, great, whatever. We're all here and we look like we're supposed to. Can we maybe talk about it inside the dance? I want to make the rounds and show off how taken we are."
"Groooooom!" Skara whooped, and pumped her fists overhead. Her bat-eared date mirrored the action and they both energetically paraded into the auditorium.
They'd certainly managed to turn a few heads as they entered, something Boscha hardly minded as the group followed. She flipped her long bangs with the back of her hand and linked her elbow with the one of the boy she'd brought. As if on cue, the other pairs fell into step, linking up likewise.
Matt glanced uncertainly at Seline, who looked hesitant herself. She hovered for a moment near the tanned boy's side, claws approaching and retreating a few times. Matt offered his elbow at a strange angle, brow pinched in confusion. Did she want an escort or not? Was he supposed to do something in particular?
After only a few seconds of watching her friends' backs, Seline seemed to make her choice and settled on grasping her claws around Matt's wrist, tugging him behind her as she caught up to the procession Boscha was making of their arrival.
After a short exclamation over the yank, Matt fell into step beside Seline and his lower eyelids pinched as he glanced down at how she held onto him, then up to her face. She was smiling, but avoiding eye contact with him. She was instead waving meekly to the students around them as they headed towards the back of the auditorium where Boscha was leading them.
Was Seline...embarrassed to be seen with him? She didn't want to hold him like her friends held their dates. Matt's lips thinned and tightened, a small pit of shame throbbing in his gut. Was she not even going to try and make the most of this?
Then by chance their gazes did meet. Seline blanched, but then her cheeks tinged slightly and she offered an awkward grin before quickly facing away again. Matt blinked, not knowing what that meant. But okay...maybe Seline was just nervous too? Maybe she just didn't know what to expect from him, same as he didn't know what to expect from her. They'd literally only just arrived. He should still try.
As the small cluster reached the concession tables, Boscha came to a rest and detached herself from her date, thrusting a purse at him without even looking. "Here. Hold this." Flustered, the boy caught the bag while Boscha poured herself a tall glass of punch and leaned back against the wall with a catty smirk as she observed the other students here. "Oh my gosh, can you believe Casmandius came here with Bretta? That'll last about an hour."
Her friends looked to where she was and shared a giggle, joining her in getting themselves some punch. Skara was the only one who held onto her date as she did so, and Matt watched in uncertainty as Seline detached and floated towards the other girls, starting up gossip about the other party goers. The small-framed boy looked out into the crowd himself. Was this what popular kids did at dances? Gossiped about everyone else?
That sounded about right. At Glandis, judgement had been very harsh for anyone who couldn't make the cut, and the weaker students were always pushed around.
Stepping closer, Matt offered, "Hey, you think that's bad, check out Arfor and Grelodie." He thumbed towards another pair, one with three legs awkwardly dancing with the other having four arms.
Boscha scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I guess...so anyway, did you guys see what the Abomination professor is wearing? Paisley? Really? And he actually tried to give his abomination hair." A haughty cackle. The other girls joined in.
Bo elbowed Seline. "Hey, do you think they'll play anything by Seven Windows Over~?" Seline clutched her claws under her chin and professed, "I hope so~!" The band was only a sentient collection of instrument-like demons, but they were playing covers of popular music.
Matt tried again. "So Bo. Uh...what do you do outside the club? Are you and Seline...close?"
Both girls paused and gave him a blank look. Bo rubbed behind her head and shrugged. "Oh, you know...Healing Coven stuff...training to join." She sipped her punch and avoided eye contact. The Human Appreciation Society was the one blemish on her 'cool' resume, and she wasn't exactly interested in being friends with Mattholomule. He was kind of weird. And a jerk. A runty jerk without influence.
Seline shrugged. "We've known each other a while. I think Bo and Skara are closer, though." She looked over to Skara, who actually seemed engaged in conversation with the boy she's brought. Their arms were around each other more intimately now. To Matt, that looked like what a date should be.
"Hey, Bratzilla...fuel or whatever?" Boscha cut in.
The brunette boy's face hardened. "Mattholomule."
Boscha brushed off, "Like I said, whatever. Why don't you make yourself useful and go get me some tentapie?"
Quirking a brow, Matt looked down at the table beside them. Several plates of oozing pie with a black tentacle garnish on top decorated the surface. Silently, he reached for a plate and lifted it towards Boscha, his quirked brow raising even higher.
"I don't want it anymore," Boscha waved it away, "You can have it. Just go eat it over there, yeah? It's rude to talk with your mouth full."
Turning him away, she pushed him pointedly towards the other two boys standing silently in an unlit corner, holding bags or food.
Stumbling in their direction, Matt let out a protesting, "Hey!" He swirled back around to argue, but Boscha was already chattering away about something else. He looked to the other girls, but Bo was paying rapt attention to Boscha. Seline glanced his way meekly, but upon making eye contact only shrugged with another small smile, as if to say sorry, but there was nothing she could do. Then her back was to him and she was conversing with her friends as if he wasn't there.
Brow furrowing in confusion, Matt's hackles lowered as he realized he'd been completely shoved to the wayside. Huh? But...he was like them! He was all about power and drama! He could fit in!
He'd taken one step forward as he tried to process what had happened, wanting to fight back but also feeling a...very familiar sense of place settling in. This was just like at Glandis. He'd always been the weakest member of the group. The one who got shoved around. The stooge. But Hexside was supposed to be different! He was supposed to be able to be somebody here!
"Give it a rest, dude," a voice from behind Mat said dully, "This is what being a popular girl's date is. You carry their stuff, do what they say, and then you get to say you went out with them."
Facing the voice, Matt saw that it was Boscha's date. The tall, shaggy-haired demon boy appeared defeated yet complacent as he accepted his part, slumping against the side of a row of bleachers. The boy standing idly in front of him nodded along.
Matt bristled again. "But I'm one of them!" he insisted, angrily stuffing a forkful of pie into his face, "I'm a jerk! I can be judgemental! I'm manipulative! I stole power from the human club's president! The president!"
The thin blue boy with fins on his cheeks holding a plate of food quirked his brow. "The human club? Isn't that like...a club for losers, though?"
Matt's mouth opened, but his point died on his lips and he glanced downward. Well...
Instead of answering he ate more pie.
"Yeah," the first boy ruminated, "If all you can rule is a bunch of losers, doesn't that kind of make you like...King Loser?"
Now the shortest boy felt his cheeks burning as he grimaced. All of the feelings of shame and ineptitude from yesterday boiled to the surface in one hot rush of humiliation. "N-No..!"
Both boys shrugged and the blue one consoled, slapping a hand on Matt's shoulder, "Hey, it's okay..! We are too! We're all just a bunch of leeches here. Sit back, enjoy it..! Maybe you'll even get a kiss out of it."
Matt's entire face felt flushed as indignance joined the party of emotions he was feeling. He didn't want to be lumped into the same group as these guys! They were happy being lackeys. Matt wanted to be somebody! He wanted to feel like somebody cared who he was! He wanted to prove he was at least better than someone as low on the social ladder as Augustus!
Taking another look at the cluster of girls around the punch bowl, Matt's eyes landed on Skara and her date, happily laughing away at something or other, holding one another close. A fresh wave of more mellow heat rolled through Matt as he imagined how easily that could be Augustus there. Being bubbly, cracking jokes, making everyone smile and making his date feel included. Matt wanted that.
His brow turned downward. But Augustus had turned that opportunity down. It was still possible for Matt to get. He wasn't out yet. He would get that experience.
"No," he said with determination, nodding at Skara. "That's a real date. That's what I want. I'm going to prove I'm worth it."
And so the night went. Matt refused to stay brushed to the side and forced his way back into the conversation. He tried his hand at jokes and snarky remarks, getting a polite chuckle at best before being promptly ignored. He offered insights and insults that were treated about as well. He said he knew some good party tricks and gave an example by inflating his head to gargantuan proportions, which was met with curled lips and wrinkled noses across the board. When Skara and her date said they actually felt like splitting up from the group and spending some time on their own, Matt vouched for the idea, to which Boscha agreed splitting up was a great plan and took the remaining two girls by the wrist, eagerly dragging them to the dance floor. Matt stood on the sidelines with the other boys, seething as he watched the three friends live it up.
It was disheartening to see his date acting so disinterested and distant. It was disheartening they were all acting like that. None of them were treating him like he'd hoped. They weren't seeing him as one of them at all. None of them were treating him like...Gus.
Matt blinked when he realized it, but it was true. He saw these people as his peer group, and he wanted them to treat him the way...Gus did. They were treating each other like that. Open, friendly, talkative, considerate...but the inclusion Matt wanted, if he thought about it, the only person to ever treat him like that was Gus.
Augustus.
Especially after the takeover. Matt had barely seen the human Luz after that, but she was still stand-offish about his dour attitude, outright stating she was only willing to consider trying again with him if he was willing to change. But she was in support of Gus taking the route of peace with his rival.
Matt assumed the darker boy had been trying something funny by being so...normal around him. But maybe that was just how Gus was. He'd matured. He was a nice, friendly guy. He cared that Matt existed just because he did.
Catching himself yet again listing into much too positive thoughts about that boy, this time accompanied by a light dusting of pink on his cheekbones, Matt shook his head hard. He wasn't here with Gus! Nor did he want to be! It wasn't his fault Gus just so happened to be the only nerd dumb enough to treat his usurper with respect and basic decency! Matt was here with Seline, and he wanted to warm up to her.
If he could just get Seline on her own, he thought, he might have a chance at an actual conversation. It was mostly Boscha who was shutting him down directly. The other girls allowed him to speak at least, and Seline never said anything targeting him specifically. Bo had even gotten a custom corsage from that Willow girl. Seline kept offering him those complacent smiles, not acting to stop him being turned away, but not interjecting to prevent him trying to be included either. The way Matt saw it, if Boscha was out of the picture, he'd get a much better chance at getting to the real Seline.
Finally, he managed to get his chance.
As the hour of Gromethuis' rise approached, he managed to catch the stark white girl with only Bo beside her, Boscha still on the open floor as she indulged her date with the privilege of giving her a dance.
Tapping Seline's shoulder to take her attention away from Bo, Matt could feel beads of sweat forming on his face as he asked, "Hey...since we're here...together and all...shouldn't we maybe...have a dance too..?"
Seline's face flushed slightly as she looked to the side and her lower eyelid pinched. "Uh..." Did she really want to do that? Mattholomule had been embarrassing her all night, making awkward interjections and performing stupid weak spells in an attempt to impress her. Then again, it was kind of sad he had to be so pathetic, thinking he had a real shot with the cool kids. She did feel sorry for him.
"Yeah, okay." If Boscha could make some dweeb's night by dancing with them, she could too.
She felt validated in her thinking watching Mattholomule's eyes light up as she agreed. "Really?" he perked, "Uh, great! This song's pretty good. Let's go!" He reached to take her claws in his palm, and obviously regretting her choices, Seline forced a smile back and followed as the short boy darted into the crowd, all the way up to the stage the living instruments were strumming themselves away on.
Coming to a stop, Matt turned towards the girl and paused with his hands hovering in apprehension about where to grab. Blushing, he realized one massive flaw with this plan and asked nervously, "Do you...know how to dance..?"
Seline's eyelid fell into a flat expression as she sighed. She grabbed both of Mattholomule's wrists and placed his hands on her hips. "Just hold me and sway," she instructed. There was no point trying to lead if the boy didn't know how to follow, and it wasn't like the students around them were doing much better than she'd told.
Matt's face felt hotter all over again as Seline put her hands on his shoulders. He'd never held anyone like this. Been in such proximity without intimidation being involved. It felt...weird. Very intimate. He'd never felt anything like this.
Robotically, his knees bent and he followed Seline's order, wobbling from side to side to the beat of the funky rock beat the band was playing. Was he...doing it right? He couldn't read Seline's face as he stared at it, for some reason unable to blink as he was petrified, all conversation potential devoured by how he could now only focus on the quality of his dancing.
Managing to rip his eyes away from the girl, not wanting to seem weird, Matt hoped looking at what others were doing would give him an idea of how this was supposed to work. He spotted two boys only a few feet away, locked in the same pose as him and Seline and essentially moving the same way.
Matt's stomach flipped. He had no idea why, but seeing those two boys gave him a rush of nerves that darkened his cheeks farther, and he struggled to process it. Why did just seeing that make him feel even more butterflies? Did he want to dance with a boy?
Not having time to try and figure out why his brain was acting weird, Matt tried to remind himself that he was just supposed to be enjoying his first dance here. It was supposed to be a good thing. Maybe looking around had been a bad idea. Forcing his gaze back to Seline, his eyes then widened, however, finding her to be looking off to the side with boredom obvious on her face. She straightened alert when he faced her, blushing for having been caught, and offered a quickly-flashed grin to appease him, but it was too late.
Matt grimaced. He knew how she really felt. She didn't want to be here with him. In fact, she probably really only had agreed to come with him out of pity. There was...no way Matt was going to win her over, much less any of the cool kids. He was a charity case. Officially a loser. There really was nobody out there for him.
Stopping his motions, Matt let go of Seline and stepped back, fighting down brimming swells of hurt, anger and worthlessness. He didn't even know what he wanted to say, but he hoped his expression said well enough that he wanted to consider this date over.
Then, all at once, the lights went out, all save for a shining beacon of a spotlight on the platform just above Matt's head. Matt, along with everyone else, perked up, not having noticed the music coming to a halt. But now, onstage in place of the band, was Augustus, posed glamorously with his fingertips to his forehead and a microphone outstretched in the other hand.
Matt's face fell slack. The boy up onstage was almost glittering under those lights, he thought. So dynamic. And he'd worn blue.
Matt had been right. It looked very good on him.
Then, before he had a chance to soak it in, Gus' eye slit slyly open as he glanced out into the crowd. Matt's heart skipped a beat, almost swearing that knowing gaze and smile had gone right for him. But there was no way Gus was looking anywhere in particular, right?
With a flashy spin, Gus brought the microphone to his lips and boomed boisterously, "Ladies, gentlemen and assorted deeemooooons~! It's almost time for our main Grom event! Please, please, take a seat! And be aware that the first three rows? Are designated splash zones~."
On autopilot, Mattholomule felt himself backing up, almost like he was frightened. He didn't notice Seline going forward with other members of the crowd to cheer as Gus continued his hype, getting them excited for the battle about to unfold.
He was so...charismatic. There wasn't an ounce of weakness or dweebiness on display. Gus...was attractive. Magnetic. There was no avoiding it anymore. It was obvious what Mattholomule's thoughts were trying to tell him. He wanted to be around Gus.
AUGUSTUS!
Spinning around, Mattholomule sprinted away from the stage as far as he could, all the way up the bleachers to the very back row. He sat heavily, folding his arms and sulking sourly.
There was no way. No way! But...Augustus really wasn't so much of a loser anymore, was he? Just like the plant girl, he'd grown confident. Seemed to draw people to him. He was certainly having no trouble getting the auditorium to root for him. And confidence...looked good on him. He might not be president of anything, but he'd grown beyond the need for that kind of validation. He didn't even really need a rival. And maybe...he kind of wished Matt would see it that way too. Maybe he really was just that nice.
But if Matt didn't have his rivalry...what did he have? He'd thought he'd weeded out the one group of nerds weaker than he was, but they weren't impressed by him. They thought he was an effective president, but they didn't fear him or anything. They didn't even want to be friends outside the club, as Bo had more than aptly demonstrated.
When there was really no one around, and all the avenues he knew were exhausted, did Matt really see the only thing left to try...as kindness? Did he see a friend appealing? Did he really wish he could get close to Augustus? Did he want to...be different..?
Still reeling at the very notion, Mattholomule watched the boy onstage perform an enthusiastic dance. A couple rows ahead of the bowl-cutted boy, the Owl Lady and her dog...rat...thing...invaded this isolated section of the bleachers and broke Matt's concentration. He was irritated until he overheard they were having their own conversation about Augustus. The small furry demon was worried about measuring up to the illusionist's star power. The Owl Lady was not doing a very good job at easing his worries. This was actually...mildly amusing. But also proved that Augustus' reputation wasn't so poor as Mattholomule still claimed. Augustus had people who wanted to measure up to him. Augustus had admirers.
And it looked like Mattholomule was one of them.
Down below, the floor was opening to reveal the chamber underneath the auditorium that housed Gromethius. The human had volunteered to take the place of Grom Queen and do battle with the nightmare demon, but Mattholomule found he could only watch halfheartedly as Luz attempted to stave the thing off with a morning star. Instead his eyes slid to Augustus, trying to wrap his head around the idea of liking the other boy. Did the darker witch actually want to be on good terms, or was he just another charity case to him? He always seemed like he was real friends with Luz and Willow...but then he'd thought Seline was real friends with Boscha's crew, and she'd only been nice out of pity.
And yet the idea of just...talking to Gus...Augustus..? The idea of calling him Gus to his face was enough to deepen the hue of Matt's cheeks again. Addressing him by a friendly nickname. Being familiar. Something about Gus just felt...different. And the idea of it being him he'd been dancing with, remembering that sly, sharp expression, turned Matt's whole body hot. He felt his palms sweat.
While Matt had been sorting through the alien feelings of desiring a meaningful connection, and the possibility of developing a crush on a boy he may or may not now want to actually be friends with, the small furry demon had made his way down to the stage. Gus was giving him a hearty introduction and the scruffy rat dubbed 'King' began...doing nothing.
Matt blinked, distracted by the few stammers King had given followed by an extended awkward silence. Everyone in the auditorium seemed at a loss, and within moments became displeased, throwing things and demanding to have Gus back as their MC.
Strangely, this...made Matt feel a bit better. He found himself snorting and giving a little chuckle. At least he wasn't the only loser here tonight. As King fled and Gus chased after him, Matt had to think that there was at least one other sad sap out there that was having a lousy Grom Night. The boy Boscha had dragged along, for instance. At least Matt had realized the truth and escaped.
Speaking of escape, however, Gromethius now proceeded to follow Luz out of the battle chamber as she fled in terror, screaming about how she wasn't ready to face her fears. Both beings fled the auditorium and could be heard thundering down the hallway at rapid speed.
Matt rose in concern. Grom...was loose?
Many others echoed this concern and a low ripple of panic rolled through the crowd, several students flocking to the auditorium doors to look after the beast, including Seline, Matt noticed. She seemed to think nothing of the fact that he'd left.
Unable to help a short spike of bitterness flashing through his unease, Matt was then distracted again by King taking up the microphone. He was playing off Grom's rampage almost like it was...intentional? He'd seemed to have gained more confidence on the mic too, boosted by Gus' encouragement as he chimed in. Both were encouraging everyone to follow the fight to continue spectating, and a swarm of students was already doing so, Seline right at the front of the pack alongside Skara and her date, both of whom were wildly hooting for the event and had donned spirit uniforms at some point.
Matt considered, watching others head out behind the initial crowd. Well, the fight had been one of the main things he'd been looking forward to. He took one step down the bleachers, then another, and then made up his mind, meandering after the nightmare demon along with the rest of the school.
He was glad he'd gone to watch. The battle ended up being amazing. It had culminated on an open cliffside where Luz and the girl she'd replaced, Amity, performed a spur-of-the-moment but beautifully executed routine of spellcasting while partner dancing. Gromethius exploded into a burst of light as an ethereally glowing tree now stood where the demon once had.
Every moment was narrated by King and backed up by Gus, who proudly let the little guy get carried away by the cheering crowd and have his time in the spotlight.
As the victory was celebrated, however, Matt's eyes were on Gus, noticing the way he held back and let King have the glory. His eyes were squinted with a sparkle as he beamed with genuine happiness for not only King's triumph, but Luz's as well. In the soft pink light of the magical tree, he looked even better than he had onstage. Matt's wide eyes shimmered as he marveled from behind a different trunk.
Back in the auditorium, the celebration continued in full swing. Now that Gromethius was defeated for another year, everyone could let loose without worry.
Mattholomule watched as Seline put Luz down, having been one of the several people hoisting the human and Amity to parade them in victory on the way back. As the crescent-headed girl turned away to find her friends, Matt followed. If she didn't want to spend time with him, that was fine by him. He could still make the most of his own Grom Night. Maybe he did want to try being different, and one way to test that theory was to try being a jerk to the mean kids for once.
He approached them smugly with a brimming cup in hand and splashed them with a blatantly careless, "Whoops~!" He interjected himself more assertively into conversations, rudely mentioning things that were completely off-topic. He ate loudly and chewed with his mouth open directly in front of Boscha. He cast a spell to bind their shoes together. He jumped in front of the camera while the girls were trying to take glam shots and photobombed them with raspberries and peace signs.
Honestly? It was a blast ruining their fun. Getting in the way of someone who deserved it was incredibly cathartic. The way the girls shrieked and whined and complained about his antics only made him laugh harder.
Boscha's crew wasn't the only one taking photos, either. Gus was on the floor now, having his own fun with Luz, Willow, and even Amity. Matt observed them in glimpses through the remainder of his evening, watching them laugh, casually hang out, dance and take photos. It...looked like they were really having a good time. Together. Matt couldn't help smiling and giving a tut at some of their energetic and huggy shenanigans.
He almost felt compelled to go over there. At one point, he'd taken a step in the group's direction upon spotting them resting and having a chat, but then caught himself.
What? Just go up to them? Tell Gus he wanted to just be friends or whatever now? After how the last H.A.S. meeting had gone? He had to be going nuts. It would take something spectacular to make it possible for Gus to believe Matt had changed his mind. That he could admit maybe he wasn't as tough or bad as he'd tried to be. That he might not like the ways he'd been taught the world worked.
Staring at the floor, Matt had no idea what that something spectacular could be, either. He sighed. It was too late for him here. He'd already ruined his chances. Maybe he could try his old Glandis friends again? Maybe things would be different this time? Better?
With one final glance up, watching Augustus pull a weird face to make his friends laugh, Matt turned away, feeling like his night had reached its peak. He'd never wanted a date anyway.
This thought was repeated firmly in his head as his steps carried him out of the school and towards home. It conflicted with new ones recalling the adorable way Augustus' face lit up when he was happy. How good a time it looked like he'd been having. How badly Matt had wanted those sparkling eyes to turn towards him. How Seline's blank face had stung so much. How cozy Skara had been with her date.
Matt's weighted steps slowed, and then stopped altogether, picturing himself in Skara's place. Gus, being his usual bubbly self, giving Matt some line to make him laugh as their arms looped comfortably around one anothers' waists.
Matt stepped off the path, folding his arms tightly as his face scrunched up tensely. He didn't...want...he hadn't wanted...a..!
Despite his best efforts, the hot tears came. Thick in stream and fast in flow. A thin, high note strained and elongated quietly in the silent night air. Matt hunched in desperation to contain all of it, but it didn't stop the evening from catching up and washing over him. The entire last week's worth of pent-up hurt found him in this moment, stresses from even prior deciding to join the party now that the dam had broken.
Almost from outside his own body, Matt watched himself cry, fighting it every second. Why..? He couldn't process why he was crying. He'd learned not to cry ages ago. And why should he be crying? Just because some girl had hurt his feelings? He ought to have a thicker skin than that! His own brother tormented him on a daily basis! And anyway, he'd gotten his revenge. Because he might like a boy he'd never had a shot with? Augustus wasn't the first boy he'd seen taken out of his grasp this week.
Because he really was alone..?
The surge felt swelling up from his belly and forcing a choked sob informed Mattholomule that this was more on the money. If he didn't have Boscha's group, and he didn't have Gus' group, what was left? The club? Ha. They weren't leaving the dance with him! They were acquaintances at best! Where did Mattholomule fit?!
He didn't fit in at Glandis. He was too weak. He didn't fit in at home for the same reason. He was too soft for the mean crowd and too mean for the soft crowd. He didn't fit in at Grom because he was social poison. No matter how much he denied needing others, he wanted to fit in. No matter how he looked at it he was a loser.
And if he'd just been honest when he'd gotten to Hexside, maybe those scenes in his head right now could have been the reality. Maybe he could have been Augustus' friend. Maybe he could have been more. Maybe Mattholomule wouldn't have destroyed every opportunity he'd had to be worth anyone's attention.
Slowly, Mattholomule slid down the trunk of that tree into a squat. He gave up and let the tears come. It wasn't like there was anything he could do to change the past, so he just waited for the pain of the present to run its course. Get his weakness out. And, as soon as he was sure there were no signs he'd been crying that his brother could beat him up for, he would finish his walk home and let everything return to normal.
