49. Broken things
" – and then the dragon almost bit his hand off!" Hiccup heard the end of Snoutlout's story as he entered the clearing where the gang were gathered.
The academy was full of the people Stoick decided to keep on the island, mostly those who had been inside the hall with Arrald, as they were the ones that Arrald trusted most. The others were shipped off to Outcast Island.
Hiccup came alone. Storm was staying at the forge to work on the few requests for saddles that they had. She was still not back to her full self, she was still closed off, but she wasn't as bad as she could be. Whatever Eret had done helped her relax, he and Hiccup had managed to get her to say more than one word answers.
But Hiccup was still concerned. Four days had passed since Berk fought, the first two days it seemed like Storm was back at full force, but the last two days she had been closing off again.
The first day after the battle was the day they got their first request for a saddle. Hiccup has suggested that Storm take on the project, she agreed, wanting to be left alone for a while. And when on the second day they got more requests, Storm had volunteered. Making a saddle took time, so she had been coming back to camp after he had gone to bed. On the third day Hiccup didn't even ask. On the fourth he was gone before she even woke up, her late nights catching up to her.
Hiccup still needed to train the gang, so he dutifully went every morning. Being with the gang wasn't a hardship for him, he actually had a lot of fun messing around with them. He also had the feeling that they've been overcompensating now that they knew who he was.
Yet, Hiccup was concerned because Storm wasn't okay. At least that was the impression he got from the conversation he had with her that morning. It was strange, to say the least. When he woke up and found Storm ready for the day, he asked her what she was doing up, because she had been tired the last few days. She had said that she couldn't sleep and got ready to head to training.
Hiccup then suggested that she doesn't go with him and goes to the forge. After all, the gang weren't doing anything too important, after the battle it was clear that they were ready to defend Berk with all they had. The gang knew how to fight on land, so among the treasure hunts and trick shows, a few sparring sessions were thrown in, and with the gang in the know, he could finally spend more time with Toothless. He was having fun. He told her what they had been up to during training and once again suggested that she head to the forge to have some time alone.
"Sure, Chief," she had curtly answered with a forced smile and didn't wait for a second before she left the cove where they had relocated their camp.
Now, Hiccup was listening to Snotlout recite stories from what happened in the village when a few vikings had gotten the guts to try to train dragons on their own, without any help. The gang had been stepping up when they could, but sometimes watching others mess up was fun, as long as no-one got badly hurt.
Hiccup pushed his thoughts aside, he was with his friends now and they deserved to get his full attention.
"Hey," he greeted Astrid as the others were engrossed with Snotlout's story, about how Spitelout tried to train a dragon in secret in case he failed. Astrid nodded at him with a smile and leaned on him when he put a hand on her hip.
Hiccup listened to Snotlout's story with interest. Turns out, Spitelout was angry that 'some foreigners' were getting Berk to finally turn around their opinion on dragons and he didn't want to be left behind, so he tried to train a dragon alone and failed, badly. Spitelout was thrown around, clawed at, spat at with fire, but still he didn't give up. Hiccup would've commended Spitelout's dedication if he didn't fear that the dedication could lead to serious harm to either side.
"What's up with you?" Astrid asked him from her place at his side. He turned to look at her with a genuine smile.
"Nothing much, just a bit concerned," he answered.
"About what?" she immediately asked, worry clear on her face.
"That Spitelout's dedication could turn to frustration that he will take out on dragons," he sighed, "The attack that Drago will undoubtedly launch… Storm."
"Come on," Astrid said as she took his hand and pulled him away from the others, she waved off the gang's questions and Hiccup's concerns as she lead him further to the forest, finding a stump for them to sit on.
"What is this?" Hiccup asked as he was forced to sit.
"Talking," Astrid answered gesturing to herself and then him.
"About what?" he questioned with a huff.
"You're clearly distracted," Astrid crossed her arms, "And you're not getting up until you tell me everything that's on your mind."
"Astrid," he jokingly groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Hiccup," she retorted in a teasing tone, yet her eyes held promise of danger if he tried to run away.
"Okay," he sighed, "Spitelout is short tempered at best, so my concern that he will blame the dragons for his failure is warranted."
"Yeah, but Snotlout has been trying to be better lately, and I don't think he will let his father harm the dragons," Astrid soothed some of his worries, "Especially when he knows you wouldn't let it slide." She added with a laugh.
"What?" Hiccup chuckled in disbelief, "Snotlout doesn't care about what I think."
"He does," she disagreed with his statement, "We all do."
"Why?" he asked with slight annoyance, thinking about all the times they had disregarded him for simply… being him.
"Because," Astrid gently placed her hand on his cheek, getting him to look at her, "We don't want to lose you again. We care about you and we want to make it up to you."
"Okay…" he whispered as he took her hand and kissed her palm. She gave him a sweet smile.
"Now, your worries about Drago?" she prompted.
"Drago is a madman, what I said the other day is true," he lamented, "You can't know where he is unless he wants you to. We're just sitting ducks, all we can do is prepare."
"Hiccup… You are not going to lose to him, you're too… good at all of this," Astrid consoled him as she gripped his hand tightly. "You do amazing things when you put your mind to it."
"I don't do it alone though," he smiled, "I always had Toothless, Storm, and Shadow with me," he interlocked their fingers, placing their connected hands on his chest, "And now I have you… and the others," he quickly added as an afterthought, Astrid giggled, but the her face became overtaken with concern once more.
"Speaking about Storm… how is she?"
"Better I think," Hiccup sighed, his mood falling, "But she's never completely okay after she goes through this kind of thing. Until one day, she… implodes and just lets everything out."
"Let's hope she does that soon, I haven't seen her for a while," Astrid concluded with a small smile, then she stood up tugging his hand, "Come on, we still have training to get to."
"You go ahead," he told her, "I have to call Toothless, then I'll join you."
Astrid nodded and kissed his cheek before taking off to the clearing. Hiccup was left alone as he went to find Toothless. Calling the dragon would work just fine, but he needed to get farther away from the village so his call wouldn't be heard. He would have preferred having Toothless with him from the start, but the Night Fury didn't want to leave Shadow on his own.
Shadow was okay with staying on his own, away from the others, but when Toothless wanted to play Shadow was the first to volunteer, but for the last few days the Skrill was grumpy. Shadow started eyeing Hiccup with annoyance, and the dragon had started to growl at Eret in anger. Eret seemed to know he was on the bad side of the Skrill even before Shadow started to glare at him.
Storm was in the forge with Gobber. Both were working on their own projects: Gobber with the weapons and Storm with the saddles. Storm liked Gobber, after the first time she showed she didn't want to talk he didn't expect her to participate in any more conversations, if he talked he didn't expect her to answer.
She was fully engrossed in her work, it didn't matter that she wasn't in a good mood, she would do her best no matter what. She was completely aware of her surroundings, even if she trusted Gobber, the forge was open to everyone, and she didn't trust everyone. So she wasn't startled when the door of the forge was thrown open, Gobber was, if his swearing was any indication.
"Gobber!" Stoick's voice rang out as the Chief looked around the building looking for his friend, "I need you to find – oh, there you are." He stopped shouting as he noticed Storm.
"Yes?" she inquired without looking up from her work.
"Your brother promised me a meeting," Stoick started to explain, "I would like to have the meeting in the early evening, my council will be with me."
Storm just hummed in agreement. Stoick stood there, waiting for a vocal answer he wasn't going to get. Seeing the Chief frustration grow at her silence, Gobber spoke up.
"They'll be there," he promised for her, Stoick gave him a stiff nod and left, closing the door on his way out.
Storm continued working for a moment before she felt Gobber's hand land on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him.
"You should go tell Hiccup before they take off," Gobber told her and went back to his own work when Storm nodded.
She knew where Hiccup should be, with the academy occupied they had started meeting at the clearing again. She made her way there, hoping that they were still there. She found Hiccup about to take off, but when he noticed her he stopped.
"Hey," he greeted with a genuine smile, "What are you doing here?"
"Stoick wants the meeting you promised," she got straight to the point, "Early this evening."
"Oh," Hiccup sighed, "I'm not sure I'll be able to make it today, I have a full day planned with the gang. Could you go alone?" He asked with a smile.
"No," she curtly answered, Hiccup's smile fell.
"What? Why?" He asked confused.
"You promised the meeting, you will attend it, I have to finish the saddles," Storm explained with a frown.
"Why can't you put away the saddles for an evening?" He exclaimed.
"Why can't you stop frolicking with your dear old friends for a moment and go to the meeting?" Storm demanded with anger.
"Is this what your bad mood is about? Me getting to be with my friends?" Hiccup demanded.
"No," Storm growled, her anger growing, "It's about you dealing with your father. I would never get between you and your friends."
"Yeah, sure," he said sarcastically and crossed his arms. "I still can't see why you can't attend on your own," He grumbled.
"I can't attend on my own because you need to be there either way," Storm huffed, "You promised him the meeting and he is your father. Either you be there or the trust we build with him will be gone."
She didn't wait for an answer as she practically ran from the clearing, her eyes filling with tears. She wanted to get back to the forge, to get back to her work so she could forget the conversation ever happened. Her emotions were all over the place and she did not like that.
She entered the forge and didn't even look at Gobber as she went back to the unfinished saddle on the work bench. Her mood caught Gobber's attention and the smith put down the weapon he was working on, he went over and closed the hatch to the outside, he also made sure the door was properly closed before he went over to her.
"I've known Hiccup since he was little, you two are so alike. Something's on your mind, come on, out with it." He encouraged her to speak.
"Hiccup will tell Stoick and the tribe who he is after the battle," she simply stated, her voice carefully void of any emotion.
"That doesn't sound bad, why not before though?" Gobber inquired as he put his hand onto hers, silently stopping her from working.
"Doesn't want anyone to be upset if he dies, like that's going to happen," she rolled her eyes and took off her helmet laying it next to the saddle
"That can't be what's botherin' you," Gobber insisted.
"I don't know where I'll go after all of this is over," she admitted with a sigh, gripping the edge of the workbench.
"I can always take you in lass, I have room, and your company wouldn't go amiss. You would have a place to stay," he offered with an easy smile.
"You misunderstood. I'm not staying." Her eyes filled with tears, the lump in her throat making it harder for her to breathe.
"Why?" he demanded, "Does Hiccup know you're thinkin' this?"
"He doesn't and I'm not telling him," a tear escaped her eyes. "I don't want to hold him down. He will always be my brother, but I'm not sure I'll be his sister for as long."
"Hiccup didn't tell you those things, did he?" Gobber softly demanded.
"He showed it," she said softly.
Gobber looked at the girl, tears were now rolling down her face, yet other than that, it was hard to see that she was even affected.
"I still don't understand, why?" He probed.
"Because he's happy with them. He's having fun like I barely see anymore. I'm… never included in this anymore. Just this morning he told me how much fun he was having with them, and in the next breath told me to come here to work on the saddles. He's ready to move on and I'm not going to sit here and be a reminder of things he wants to forget." A sob escaped her, it was hard for her to breathe. "I'll leave when this is over so he doesn't have to tell me to leave."
Gobber stared wide-eyed at the girl in front of him. She had seemed so put together, always facing people head on, no matter what. Yet now, gripping the workbench like it was a life line, tears rolling down her face, her lips quivering, she looked broken.
"Did he tell you that he wants you to leave?" He asked in anger.
"No, and you won't say anything about this, to him or anyone. His happiness is the most important thing right now," she spared a glance his way. Her eyes were already bloodshot, Gobber's heart ached with sadness at the sight.
"What about your happiness?" he demanded.
"That doesn't matter," she sobbed.
"Lass -" Gobber tried to get a word in.
"It never mattered." She interrupted him, "I'll leave, and in a year… he'll forget I existed," she continued in a weak tone, like saying that hurt her, "He finally has a place here, I'm not going to make him doubt it."
"But where will you go?" Gobber finally asked.
"I don't know, I'll find a place. Berk is nice, but without Hiccup, I don't really have anyone else keeping me here and I... Will not be a burden to him by staying, when there is no place for me in his life anymore." She said with determination.
Gobber's heart broke, he hoped Hiccup wasn't as blind as he seemed in that moment and will understand that his sister was hurting, because if he didn't, Berk, the gang, and Hiccup himself will lose a person who has done so much for so little, a person without who life will never be the same.
"I'm pathetic," she sobbed after a moment.
"Lass -" Gobber tried to interrupt her once again, but Storm wasn't listening.
"I'm pathetic! Here I am, crying. We learned how to mask our emotions because we had to! Showing your emotions is not an advantage with the life we live!" She sobbed and hunched over like the she had been punched. "With the life we lived," she corrected herself in a whisper.
Gobbed put a hand on her shoulder and brought her into a hug. The girl sobbed, it seemed like her heart was breaking.
"Hiccup is happy, Hiccup will stay here," she stopped sobbing after a few minutes, she lifted her head from Gobber's shoulder. The last tear rolled down her face and her voice turned desperate, "Where does that leave me?"
