Perfect
Pairing: McRoll
Based on ending for 10x22
(If you haven't watched the last episode of Hawaii five-0 season ten and do not wish to know what happens, do not read, this has massive spoilers)
Chapter nine
It had been a long day and a very happy fulfilling day at that, and though Catherine was sore and tired from all the climbing, she was really glad to be able to spend the rest of the evening with Steve.. It meant the world to her that he had remembered how they used to dream about coming here and climbing the bridge, and her love of wanting to go to the opera house. They had a quiet dinner and then headed back to their hotel, she could sense in the car on the way back there was something Steve needed to say, but she wasn't sure what..
Though a lot of the damage in the relationship came from Catherine leaving him, she too had been really hurt when he didn't fight for her, though she couldn't have stayed even if she wanted to, it hurt her when he told her that he couldn't wait for her anymore, tore her heart into pieces and it took her months and months of being able to finally be at peace with those words. It surprised her when she saw Lynn that evening when she popped into see Steve to talk about the situation with his mother, she never actually took him for his word, and the pain and heartache began all over again.
Knowing he had been going to propose at some point around the time she left him, it left a huge hole in her heart because she knew without a doubt she would have accepted his proposal.. Though Catherine had explained where she was and why she had to leave that day, there was still a little left unsaid on Steve's part, and she knew that they needed to talk about it before he imploded with the weight of it all..
There was something peaceful about him, but also something that made her feel he was a little unsettled at the same time.. She still hadn't really asked him why he decided to leave Hawaii for the first time in ten years since coming back after his fathers death and he hadn't spoken about it to her either, she knew he would talk about it when he was good and ready to.
Parking back in the hotel parking garage, they held hands as they walked towards the lift, Steve locking the door with the remote as they walked away, and he smiled softly, he was exhausted and he couldn't wait to get in that bath and have a nice relaxing rest of the evening with Catherine.. Part of him had been worried that Catherine wouldn't forgive him for not fighting for her when she left that time, and thinking about the proposal and how he had thought of proposing on the bridge, it left him feeling a little unsettled.
All this time, he had been thinking of himself.. How her leaving him had broken his heart, had made him feel depressed, and lonely, but in none of this did he really ever consider Catherine's feelings because he was too busy grieving himself, but thinking back to the day in the jungle when she asked if he was really going to propose or bought the ring 'in case', it made him question himself and their relationship in those days.. How could she not have know how he felt? Then again, he wasn't always an open book and never really advertised how he felt to anyone.. Even though Catherine knew him better then anyone, there was still this wall he put up even between her and him..
Now was the time to pull it down completely… Now was the time to be an open book to her.
"I'm gonna go run the bath..Want bubbles?", Catherine asked softly, his mind elsewhere still, Catherine looking over at him with concern, "Steve?", finally cutting through his thoughts and he smiled, "Yeah, bubbles sound good to me". As she began to run the bath, he opened up a bottle of wine and poured some into two wine glasses, and then took an ice bucket from the freezer out and sat the remaining bottle of wine in the ice bucket, and then cut up some strawberries and melted chocolate and put them into a bowl before taking the bowl, plus the two wine glasses and ice bucket with the wine in to the bathroom..
There he nearly dropped everything in his hand when he saw Catherine stepping into the bath, her back on display, her lean legs, her hair tied up in a hair band, her body looking as amazing as ever as she stepped in and sank down into the bath, letting out a shudder when the hot water hit against her sore and tired muscles, eyes closed for a moment before opening again, and smiling as she saw Steve looking like he was about to pass out from not breathing.. "Looks like you could use a hand", she moved over in the water to the other side and reached out for the items he was holding and took the two wine glasses and the strawberries and chocolates and placed them on the end of the bath.
"So Sailor.. You gonna come in at some point or you happy there oggling me".
Smirking, he laughed softly and moved to put the ice bucket down next to the other items, "Ohh I plan to come in". Slowly, he began to undress, first removing his jacket and shirt and then moving his hands to his belt buckle to undo his belt, then his button, and zipper, pulling off his pants carefully, his underwear coming off with them leaving him naked and Catherine staring at him much like he had been staring at her a few moments ago. Then he stepped into the bath, and sank down into it relishing in the feel of the hot water and the softness of the bubbles.
Taking the two wine glasses in his hand, he then handed one to Catherine and he held the other up in the air, "To us", Catherine smiled and clinked her glass against his carefully, "cheers". They both sipped on the wine eyeing each other off before Catherine then came over to his side and sat with her back against his chest, his legs wrapping around hers as she let him take the glass and put it back where it was on the end of the bath.
"So.. what's going on in that head of yours Sailor?", turning her head slightly to face him and gazing into his eyes, moving her hand to point at her before adding, "and before you say anything, don't try to deny it it.. I know you too well for you to hide much from me". He smirked and let out a soft chuckle, looking back into her eyes, and tilting his head, leaning in to kiss her lips softly, his eyes fluttering to a close for a moment.. Once he pulled away, he cleared his throat and took a breath..
"I guess I just feel like I owe you an apology and an explanation". Curious, she continued to keep her eyes on him, "Apologise? Apologise for what Steve?" Though she knew it was her decision to leave their relationship and that had completely broken her when she left Hawaii, she had been hurt by Steve as well.. If she had a choice in the matter, she wouldn't have left, and it while it was her that made him feel he wasn't enough to keep her around with her choice of words, hearing him say he wouldn't wait for her and then seeing him with Lynn later on hurt more then she possibly thought she could hurt.
"You know the tumultuous up and down relationship I had with my mother.. You know how betrayed I felt whenever she left.. and you know I struggled with abandonment issues for years after believing her to be dead.. Even though we thought she had been killed, I still saw that as abandonment.. and then with my father shipping Mary and I off to the mainland, again I felt abandoned". He sighed, his arms wrapping around her body, and he leaned in and kissed her warm wet shoulder, and moved up to her neck, kissing slowly before continuing to talk, Catherine nodding to say she was listening..
"When you didn't come back the first time from Afghanistan, I felt abandoned again.. I felt lonely, and lost… We've always both had one foot in the door, one foot out because we knew it was what had to happen when we were both in the Navy and couldn't be together all the time.. When we were both living on the island together especially when you were stationed in Pearl and then decided to retire from the Navy.. I felt we were both starting to put both feet in the door.. only for you to leave me".
Sighing softly, he knew he was getting emotional, and stopped speaking for a moment.. When he got his composure, he began again, "Danny and Lou both wanted me to move on, find someone else but I couldn't.. I just couldn't, because nobody else was you.. Then you showed up for Kono and Adam's wedding and I saw you, and you took my breath away and that speech you made about not wanting to be anywhere else but here".. Shaking his head, he sighed, reaching over for the body wash and a wash cloth, pouring some on to the wash cloth and then slowly washing Catherine with it, needing something to do with his hands right now..
"That was when I knew it was time.. time for us to grow up and admit that we were more to each other then we had ever admitted before.. and I organised the ring.. I was gonna propose on the beach, have a picnic on the sand… Then you told me you were leaving me again.. I should have known that there was more to it then you were telling me, that it wasn't your choice.. but I said something to you that I knew would hurt you as much as I felt hurt by you.. I told you I couldn't wait for you anymore when really.. I should have just asked you then and there to marry me".
Catherine shivered at those words, her body on fire from how he was touching her, even though it wasn't in a sexual way, it was intimate.. This had always been a prelude to sex and to other types of intimacy, and it always made her feel so wanted and needed when she felt Steve taking his time and carefully washing her with the wash cloth, his hands moving in gentle circular motions over her back, arms, coming around to her breasts, not able to help a soft moan escaping when she felt his hands exploring her, the wash cloth abandoned now in the water..
"I never realised at the time, It was an unconscious decision but I never realised those words were said to hurt you.. I thought it was to protect myself from being abandoned again, but truth was.. I said those words because I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me by leaving.. and hoping maybe my words would trigger something in you to stay", his lips were again on her shoulder, moving up to her neck, whispering in her ear, "I should have just asked you to stay.. I never should have let you go, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you.. That I always had that one foot out the door, and never truly gave you the time you deserved.. I was always rushing off to work, but when we get back to Hawaii, that will change".
Her body was filled with arousal, and she could feel his own, pressed against her naked back underneath the water, her eyes filling with tears at his admission and his heart felt apology.. She never truly thought she needed to hear him say that, but she realised she had been angry with him when she left.. As much as she understood they were both similar people and both dedicated to the cause and to their country, she wanted him to be selfish for once and fight for her.. She had wanted him to ask her to stay.. She wanted a reason to disobey those CIA orders, and stay with him..
"What about Lynn?.. How did that all happen?", she had to ask.. She hated herself for being jealous, she never was jealous, even over Agent Greer, but that was also different at the same time as it was before he and Catherine became something more than friends. "A friend of my father's Ellie Clayton, he had been on her father's murder case.. She was always bugging me to date her friends, and then you know Danny, not wanting to see me unhappy.. So I finally relented and went on a date with her, she and I were never all that serious though.. I viewed it as a casual thing, and I think once she met you.. and saw how you and I looked at each other still, she knew she was only there to keep the bed warm till you came back".
His hands were moving down her body, past her stomach and then rested on her thighs, one hand moving closer to her inner thigh, and then slid his finger against her clit, causing her to groan out in pleasure, "I think deep down that's why I never let myself get serious with anyone else, after the relationship with Lynn ended, I had to face facts that you stole my heart years ago, and that I couldn't let myself think of a happily ever after with anyone else except you", whispering into her ear, "It's always been you Lieutenant Rollins, and it will always be you".
Continuing to touch her and run his fingers along her clit, her hips moving slowly in time with his fingers, his own arousal growing, he continued talking, "When you told me your answer would have been yes to the proposal after we had rescued my mother, that's when the cracks truly began to show for Lynn and I.. I couldn't help dreaming of you walking down the isle in a beautiful white dress, and I began calling out your name in my sleep.. She and I fought a lot after that, and then when you came back to the island, and she found out we had spent a lot of time with each other, she came over drunk, asked me for my phone and when I gave it to her, she deleted her number from it and told me we were done and to never get in contact with her again".
Catherine's breathing was increasing and she moaned softly feeling two of Steve's fingers slide inside her, his own breathing getting heavier as he moved his own hips allowing his cock to move against her, wanting a little bit of friction, "That night before I left the island… Was that the night she left you?", she had to ask him, her body shivering at the way his fingers were working their way inside her, it always felt so erotic and exciting to her how they could carry on a conversation like this and be intimate, his eyes closed for a moment remember that as soon as Lynn had left that evening, he had left his phone at home, gotten straight into his truck and gone over to the hotel where Catherine had been staying and they had spent the rest of her time in Hawaii before she had to leave for her flight in bed together.
"It was…. As much as I wanted something to happen with you and I when you first got into the island, I just couldn't… Even though I saw it as casual with Lynn, I have never cheated on a woman and I never intend to, and once she told me we were done, my first thought was that I could finally have a chance to be with you.. I know we had only just talked about how sex ruined our friendship, but that was me only talking like that because I had been thinking of not cheating on Lynn, You are the best sex I've ever had Catherine, and I think it's purely because it's not just physical with us, it's emotional and heart filled".
She was close, and he knew it, his cock was aching to be inside her right now, but this was about her now, and about pleasuring her and making her aware she was the only one for him, he could feel her body moving, her hips grinding down as her butt checks came into contact with his cock, her breathing heavier, her moans getting louder.. There was something she needed to tell Steve about that night, but now was not the time, right now was about them, and about them reconnecting..
His fingers were buried inside her and his thumb rubbing her clit in fast circular motions, "Ohh god Steve, don't stop", her body was aching for release, and her heart racing fast, "Why didn't you tell me she left you?", her breathing was faster, nearly panting now, her pussy throbbing, and aching to feel more then his fingers inside her, "I didn't want to talk.. I just wanted to be home.. You are my home, no matter where we are, You are my home, and I always feel like I'm finally home where we are together and I'm inside you where I belong".
The image of him being inside her spurred her orgasm on and she moved her hips quicker and harder against him, his pre cum spilling out a little as she grinned her butt against his hardness, and before she could say anything more, he had gripped his cock in his hand and lifted her up slightly, withdrawing his fingers as he slowly positioned himself in the right place before setting her back down onto his cock, both of them letting a loud moan escape as she clenched and tightened around him, breathing heavily in her ear, he whispered softly, "See, feels like home doesn't it baby", her whole body shuddered in pleasure, her face flushed, leaning back against him, his finger still rubbing her clit as they moved together, "Ohh god Steve, fuck you feel so good".
Her breathing was eractic now and she moaned loudly, the sounds echoing off the bathroom walls, neither one caring if anyone in the ajoining rooms heard them, his lips on her back, moving up to her shoulder blade and neck, "Mine Catherine, all mine", he whispered in a seductive and at the same time possessive voice, his body moving faster, hips grinding up against her as he hit her sweet spot and made her cry out his name again, "Mmm all yours Steve, I promise".
In fact, for Catherine, she hadn't slept with anyone else in a long time. The last time she entertained a man before the last time with Steve, it was the last time her and Steve had made love just after Kono and Adam's wedding before she left on her CIA mission. It was true when she told Steve she was dating as they were making their way through that jungle but she also never let them get close enough to sleep with her.. Whenever it got to the second or third date with a man and she knew the guy was thinking about closing the deal, she thought of Steve and she just couldn't do it.. She couldn't let another man be inside her, Steve had ruined her for other men and she believed that in a good way as well..
The water was still hot and steaming and their heated breaths along with the hot bath steamed up the windows, both of them hot and flushed, breathing heavily, Catherine panting and feeling more aroused as they moved together from being able to see their reflection slightly in the mirror and the windows before they fogged up, Steve's head tilting to one side and Catherine moving her head slightly as well, their foreheads resting against each other as they melted into a heated kiss.
"Oh god Cath", he moaned her name softly, panting lightly and letting his fingers find her g-spot, stroking her faster, his cock thrusting inside her, nearly pulling all the way out and then moving back inside her, his heart racing at the way he could feel her pussy clenching his cock tight, his cock pulsating inside her, she could feel him throbbing, his balls heavy and hung lower against her body as his climax drew nearer, "Mmm Steve.. god.. while.. the sex might have", she stopped for a moment taking a deep breath in and moaning, " as we said ruined the friendship we had.. I'll never regret giving in to my desires that first time… and while it changed our friendship forever, I think it changed it for the better, because in you.. I found my soul mate".
Heart racing inside his chest, he knew she was right.. It was a risk asking her out.. He had respected the friendship they had for a long time, and hadn't wanted to risk losing her as a friend, but when they decided to make their relationship romantic and sexual, they had subconsciously at the time found what both of them were looking for and had been needing for a long time, a soul mate.. His body was aching for his release and he was close, his body trembling, "To me Catherine, you have been the one that got away, but never again will I let you get away, You are the only woman I have ever loved, and you will continue to be the only woman I'll ever love this way".
Their bodies moving against each other, panting, breathing hard, clinging to each other, they let themselves go and just as he felt her climax, he followed, both of them gasping and moaning, calling out each other's name as they hit the height of their orgasm's, "Ohh god Steve", she breathed out harder, closing her eyes as she moved her hips harder against him, his hands moving to her breasts, his lips sucking at her neck, "Mmmm ohh yess, Catherine, fuck, yess", he responded to her, moving together slowly, his load shooting inside her, her pussy pulsating as she tightened around his cock, her own juices dripping down her thighs.
"Wow", she breathed out deeply, moving her head so she could nuzzle his cheek, and kiss him, "I know right? Wow", he repeated chuckling softly as he tiled his own head to the side and kissed her lips, moaning softly when he felt her kiss him back. "I love you Catherine". Slowly letting him slip out of her, she then changed positions, turning to face him and straddled his hips, her hand moving underwater to find his still hard cock and guiding it to her entrance and sank down onto him as she whispered back, "I love you too Steve", her voice trembling and her eyes filled with tears as they continued to make love in the bath, both knowing that despite having been pulled away from each other for various reasons over the years, this here was right where they belonged.
Author's Notes..
First of all, I want to thank you all for your patience and understanding. I have been really busy lately and just had a bit of writers block again, but I thought I'd try to get at least one chapter updated, and I am aiming to get back to a regular schedule now of getting my stories updated as well. I have missed writing and I think this chapter shows that in how long it is and passionate it is.. I wanted to address something from a review and that was that Steve had hurt Catherine as well and it wasn't just a matter of Catherine being the one to hurt Steve.. I agree with that and while it took a bit of a turn with the sex, I do hope that this chapter conveyed the fact that Steve was aware he had hurt Catherine as well, and that he needed to apologise and have that conversation as well. I also think it is really hot when a couple have a rather serious conversation like that while in the throes of passion too, to me, it showed that they are both past the hurt and ready to move on that they could have a conversation that serious while making love in a bathtub at the same time. I may not get to another chapter this weekend as it took me over a week to write this one.. I haven't been up to writing of a week since I'm finally back to work in the office and it's been exhausting lately with all the work I am doing.
SteveMcGarrettLover:
Thank you so much, I hope you enjoyed this one just as much and I am so sorry for the delay, I have just had a bit of writers block and haven't really been writing much lately but I am trying to get more into it and get more regular updates done as well. I always appreciate your support so much and I'll make sure to read your latest updates as well.
