Stand by me


4 - Poison

Oh, why do you look so sad ?
Tears are in you eyes
Come on and talk to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
And you don't know what to do


One night in the sky fortress of Niflheim.

It had been the longest week ever. Noctis couldn't believe it was finally over.

Well, not everything. They still had to find Ignis and to save him from Ardyn as well as getting the crystal back and killing the Godsdamned son of a bitch. Hell, Noctis wasn't even done proceeding everything the man had put him through since he'd gotten here. But Prompto was safe.

If anything, this allowed the prince to think coherently again. He'd been in such a state of anguish for the last few days, the only thing he'd managed had been not to utterly panic. Focused on the single goal to get Prompto back, he'd been walking step by step without giving much thought about anything else.

He'd taken Ardyn's mindfucking like so many hints that he hadn't killed Prompto. You couldn't torture dead people and you couldn't use dead people to torture other people either. Dead people were no fun. All the way to the heart of Niflheim and all the time he'd spent in the fortress with Ardyn's voice trying to poison his mind, Noctis had been hanging on to this. Their enemy had no use for dead people.

And in the end he'd been right. Despite the numerous times Ardyn had made Noctis see his lifeless body, Prompto was alive. He wasn't fine, sure. He looked paler and thinner and his eyes were red and he'd been way too surprised that Noctis had come for him but he was alive. Whatever he'd been through those last days, Noctis would make Ardyn pay for in blood – that is, if he was human enough to bleed. And no matter what truth there was in what Prompto had learned about his own past, it wouldn't change anything in the prince's eyes.

He'd wished they'd been alone when he'd pulled him out of his cell and Prompto had started blurting half coherent things about how he'd been born here, in Niflheim. But Gladio was there too so the prince had refrained from taking Prompto in his arms and telling him all the things that were burning his lips. That he didn't give a fuck about where he'd come from, that he loved him, that nothing would ever change that.

That's what he was thinking about now, lying in the darkness of one of the empty dormitories. Besides the engineered soldiers and monsters they'd killed, there wasn't anyone in the whole complex and Gladio had deemed it safe for them to grab a couple hours of sleep. They all needed it. Prompto looked like he hadn't slept in days and there probably was some truth in that statement since his restraints had been keeping him upright. Ardyn was obviously enjoying watching them coming at him and teasing them from a distance. It seemed unlikely that he would just go and kill his fun by murdering the prince in his sleep.

Gladio was snoring in the first bunk, right beside the door. Noctis had the upper bunk of the next one, right above Prompto. Noctis was tired but he couldn't sleep. Gladio could fall asleep anywhere and anytime, he'd probably learned that as one of his survival skills but Noctis was fully, almost painfully awake.

Ardyn had used Prompto in many ways to try and get to Noctis and it had only made the prince more intent on finding his friend. When he had, right after catching up with Gladio, Prompto hadn't even been guarded. He'd obviously served his purpose and Ardyn was done with him. Noctis could only guess what he'd been put through but he thought he had a good idea. Whatever Prompto had been told and shown, it had led him to believe that his friends weren't coming to rescue him, that they were going to leave him there to die, alone and forgotten in this empty prison. Ardyn had told them all the same stuff about their being worthless on their own and how they were supposedly the one useless member of the team, unable to accomplish anything on their own. Noctis knew that this was bound to cut deeper for Prompto than for himself or Gladio.

Nevertheless, what the chancellor had been trying to do was crystal clear, as well as how completely he'd failed. He would never divide them, he would never manage to set them against each other. Gladio didn't give a damn if Prompto had come from Niflheim when he was a baby and when they would get him back, Ignis wouldn't care either. None of them would stop trusting the others because some psycho had toyed with their insecurities. Ardyn's mind games were useless.

For now, Noctis only knew that Prompto was back with them and that soon, lgnis would also. No matter how exhausted he was, the excitement was too much for him to fall asleep. He was too happy. And that's why he felt the bed shifting ever-so-slightly when Prompto got up and swiftly left the room.

Noctis waited a few seconds to make sure that Gladio was fast asleep and wasn't going to get up and go after him. As the man indifferently kept on snoring, Noctis climbed down from the upper bunk. He sneaked out of the room just in time to see Prompto going inside the next dormitory and followed him, curious and eager to seize this chance to talk to him. This could be the last opportunity he would have before the end. He stopped on the doorstep.

Prompto was sitting on one of the beds with his back to the door but Noctis didn't need to see his face to know why he'd left.

He was crying. Hard. Noctis could tell he was trying to stop, to stifle the heavy sobs and the ragged gasping for air. He almost managed to calm down but it only lasted for a few seconds before he broke again. Noctis could see him shaking.

It was heartbreaking and the prince didn't think twice before going to him. He only wanted to make it stop, nothing else mattered at the moment. Prompto startled when he sat down next to him then shied away as he recognized Noctis.

" Noct, don't... Please, go back to sleep." he said.

" Can't ", Noctis answered. " I couldn't sleep before and I certainly won't now. "

" Don't stay here. I don't want you to - to see me like that. Please. "

He was bravely trying to speak in a normal voice but it still came out all strangled and wet. Noctis wanted nothing more than to give him anything he asked for but he couldn't do that.

" I'm sorry but I won't leave. And what I don't want is for you to believe you need to hide from me. No matter what. "

It was dark in the dormitory and the prince didn't turn to his friend when he didn't answer. He waited and when it became clear that Prompto wasn't going to say anything, he rested a hand on his shoulder.

" You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here. With you. "

There were a few seconds of silence after that, then a low moan escaped Prompto and he started crying again. The same desperate, out-of-control sobbing and panting. Noctis rested his back against the wall at the head of the bed and pulled him in his arms.

Prompto fought it for a second before giving in. The prince felt a surge of relief when he did, clutching his t-shirt and burying his face in it. He cried his heart out, trembling against Noctis.

" That's it, the prince said softly. Hang on to me. It's all right. Cry all you want. Just don't do it on your own. You're not alone. "

" I thought - " Prompto hiccupped and Noctis instantly stopped his litany, waiting for him to go on. " I thought you wouldn't want me anymore. "

Noctis held him tighter.

" You have no idea how wrong you are. "

" Last time I saw you, you pushed me off a moving train. "

The hurt edge in his voice told a whole story of pain and betrayal and Noctis flinched. They really hadn't had time to talk.

" Okay, you had decent grounds to think so." He said. " I'm so sorry about that. Ardyn was messing with my head. He was making me see things and I was fighting him, not you. I started seeing clearly again right after pushing you. I saw you falling. I knew what I'd done and ever since I've arrived here, he's been doing everything he could to make me believe you were dead. I'm so happy you're alive, Prom. I would've gone mad if I'd killed you.

Prompto shuddered. Maybe it was that old nickname Noctis had stopped using after they'd graduated or maybe it was the explanation of what had really happened, but the sobbing slowly came to a stop. Prompto was still crying but at least his body wasn't shaking with it anymore. Noctis's t-shirt was soaked through but he didn't mind it. Maybe he even liked it a bit. Dead men didn't cry, you couldn't hold a dead man in your arms or try and comfort him. He wanted everything, from Prompto's tears to his warm skin and beating heart.

" I didn't want to believe it, Prompto said. I tried hard not to but I couldn't help it. Not only because of what happened on the train. He showed me things... things about me, about my past, and for every bit of it he had proof. I know it was all true and he kept on saying that I've always been a dead weight for you. That you didn't need me and that you wouldn't come for me. He was repeating it over and over again and I could hear him smiling as if it was some kind of joke. 'Your prince won't come'."

" But I did. We came, Prom. I'm here now. "

" Because you don't know. I'm barely human, don't you get it ? I've been made amongst thousand others like me. I came from a vial in a lab. I don't even feel like a real person, Noct. I've never been a good fit and now it all makes sense. I just don't belong anywhere. "

New sobs overcame him and Noctis rubbed his back in slow circles while waiting for him to calm down.

" I know you're lost and scared and you have every right to be. But you're wrong, Prom. It's not gonna change anything. You're the same person you were a week ago and Gladio and Ignis won't care if you were born here or in Altissia or on the moon. You belong with us. "

How could I stay with you? And I mean you, Noct. You're going to be king. You're the last person that should come near me. I've never been good at anything. How can I hope to be of use to you when I was created to work against you?

" Like you always did. By standing by me and protecting me and never going away again. I know it wasn't your fault but those few days without you, it's been worse than anything I'd ever imagined. I don't ever wanna go through that again. "

" You can't allow someone like me in the Crownsguard. I might be a danger to you and to the kingdom."

" We would know by now. You belong with us, Prom. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it to believe me. You have a place by my side, where I need and want you to be. Don't ever doubt it. I love you too much to try and live without you."

Prompto shifted and started straightening up. Noctis fought the urge to keep him in his arms and let him go.

" You really should keep me away from you, Noct. "

He sat in front of Noctis and held out his right wrist between them, showing the code-print the prince had caught a glimpse of earlier.

" Did Ardyn...? " he started but Prompto shook his head.

" It's always been there. I had no idea what it meant and my parents couldn't explain it either, so I've kept it hidden. Now I know. It's a serial number. "

Noctis took his arm, covering the mark with the palm of his hand and Prompto shivered when he touched it. Tears were still running down his cheeks.

" You shouldn't have come. I'm not worth the trouble."

He kept his eyes down on the prince's hand. In spite of everything he'd said, he wasn't trying to pull away. Noctis deemed it a good sign. Ardyn had hurt Prompto badly, effectively poisoning his mind like he'd tried and failed to do to him. But he could be brought back from it. The prince lifted his free hand and wiped away his friend's tears. Prompto closed his eyes and didn't try to avoid the contact either. When Noctis left his hand on his face, he even leaned into the touch, frowning as if in pain. Noctis felt his heart swell at the sight.

" Of course you're worth it. You're worth the world to me, he said in a strained voice.

Prompto remained still, his face nudged in the prince's hand, one last tear shining at the corner of his eye.

Unable to come up with anything else to say, Noctis leaned in and kissed him. Gently and slowly, so Prompto could withdraw if he wanted to, but he didn't. He made a soft noise in his throat and kissed him back. It was tender and sweet and the prince didn't dare moving a finger, afraid of breaking the spell. It was Prompto who put his left hand on Noctis's neck and tentatively deepened the kiss.

Shy and warm. Soft. A shiver ran up Noctis's spine and burst in his neck, under Prompto's hand. The prince broke the kiss for a second to tell him again that he loved him, that he mattered more than anyone else...

And found himself sitting upright in his bed, his heart racing painfully.

The king blinked, disoriented. He checked out his surroundings. His father's bedroom – no, his own room now - back in Insomnia. Ten years after that night in Niflheim when Prompto had cried in his arms and told him that they shouldn't have come for him, that he wasn't worth it.

Just a dream. Again.

He'd been dreaming about it every night for at least a week now.

It was so vivid a memory, it felt so utterly real that waking up was always kind of a shock. Except that he hadn't kissed Prompto. He'd been about to do it and he sure would have kissed him if Gladio hadn't barged in before he'd had the time.

The sound of footsteps in the corridor had made them jerk apart and jump to the opposite ends of the bed. They'd gotten scolded for leaving the room without telling him and it had been the end of it. It was mere hours later that they'd found Ignis, Ardyn and the crystal. After that, the first thing Noctis could remember was waking up in Angelguard. To him, that was all barely two months ago.

Lying back on his pillow, he closed his eyes. He'd seen it so often the last nights that he could summon it at will. The details were sharply clear. Prompto's closed eyes, his eyelashes matted with tears, the warmth of his skin under Noctis's hand.

His lips against his, his mouth opening to welcome the kiss, his hand on the back of Noctis's neck.

None of it actually happened. And yet it feels more like a memory than a dream. Maybe it's because I've been dreaming about it so many times.

It has become something of an obsession, this night. These few seconds that had determined everything. If Gladio had come just one minute later back then, Noctis wouldn't be dreaming about it and spending hours pondering Prompto's feelings. Maybe they would have kissed and Noctis would have had ground to ask Prompto if he still had feelings for him and why he was acting the way he was. Maybe Noctis would have tried and maybe Prompto wouldn't have wanted to. Either way, things would have been clearer now and he wouldn't have been there pining after his teenage crush as if he'd gotten dumped the day before.

I'm sick of it.

He closed his eyes, half-hoping he'd doze off back to sleep and to the dream. It was the waking-up part he loathed. The dream was good. Memories of the last time they'd had a real good talk. Reliving the few moments when Noctis had believed they could be something and even that it was happening. Feeling it all again, Prompto's body trembling against his chest, his warmth, the dampness of his tears soaking through the black fabric of Noctis's top. The simple touching. The kiss. Pure dream, that part, but it felt so real the king could almost taste it. They had been so close.

But sleep eluded him. The morning light was seeping through the curtains and a different kind of memories was now nagging him. Back in the days, dawn would likely have found him up and brooding about it. He would have hated whoever had forced him out of bed and endlessly bitched about everything for hours before really emerging. Even this felt nostalgic now. He was king and even if he had work to do, it wasn't enough to keep him busy more than an average five or six hours per day. No one came to bother him if he overslept.

He didn't. He'd spent ten years asleep in the Crystal and he'd never woke after nine ever since.

He sat with a sigh, his hair tumbling down his face. There was no point in remaining there if he couldn't sleep so he got up and started getting ready for a new day of kingship and loneliness.


Nothing you confess
Can make me love you less
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hours
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you


The Pretenders