One morning, Beth opened the door to the garage, where she knew her piece-of-shit of a father would be. He wasn't there. At this point, she could care less if he decided to leave her again, after that mishap with the clones. Beth was about to shut the door in disappointment, when she heard a motor getting louder before shutting off. It was Rick getting out of his spacecraft, as miserable as ever.
"Dad?" said Beth.
"I know," said Rick, "I'm a terrible father. You don't have to kick me while I'm lying down."
"That…wasn't what I was gonna say, actually," said Beth, taken aback, "But out of curiosity, where were you?"
"Taking baby steps. I'm trying to start over with this family of ours, beginning with taking your car to be gassed up and washed; mine too."
Indeed, his spacecraft glimmered in the sun.
"Thank you, Dad," said Beth.
Rick smiled a bit, but deep down inside, he was still feeling terrible about himself.
"Anyway," Beth continued, "A courier flap came while you were gone, and left you this message."
She handed Rick and egg-vite. He hadn't seen one of those since the dreadful wedding between his best friend Birdperson (whose remains are tucked away in the garage) and that son-of-a-bitch Tammy, who turned out to be one of the Federation. Stupid bureaucrats.
Rick walked to his table and cracked open the egg-vite. Inside was a formal-looking slip of paper.
Wuzzle Nuzzle, Attorney at Law
requests the company of one
Rick Sanchez and family
to the reading of the last will and testament of
Birdperson
on the planet
Birdworld
as soon as alienly possible.
Rick hadn't had a drink in over a week. Now, he thought, would be a good time to start again. To quote the bird-people, "Wubba lubba dub dub." But then he remembered Beth was standing behind him, and needed to set a good example. He sighed.
"Beth," he said, "You better go tell the others to pack their bags. You can bring Space!Beth if you want—and Jerry."
"Morty's not here."
"That's okay. I think I know where he ran off to."
While Beth exited the garage, Rick programmed and fired is portal gun to…a bedroom door. Through it, he could hear sounds of pleasant and lustful moaning. Rick cautiously knocked on it. As he expected, answering the door was Morty.
"What the hell, Rick?" he said in exasperation, "I'm busy trying again with Jessica! I almost got to second base!"
"Morty, can you put your libido aside for at least two more days? We've been summoned to the reading of Birdperson's will."
Morty's eyes opened wide, "Oh." Jessica pulled her skirt back up and joined him.
"Birdperson?" she asked.
"He was Rick's best friend. You met him at Summer's party."
"Oh yeah," said Jessica, "He's the one Tammy ran off with, right?"
The other two shuddered at the name.
"What happened to Tammy, anyway?"
"It's a long story," Morty explained, "We'll tell you another time."
"So Morty," said Rick, "You comin'?"
Morty looked at Rick, then at Jessica.
"I'll be here when you get back," she assured.
Morty smiled. He and Rick stepped through the portal, into the living room.
