I think I should mention that this story is set before "Rickternal Friendshine" aired. Keep your panties on.
Greeting the family when their ship landed on Birdworld was their old friend Squanchy, alive and well. He squanched them all by the hand. But then he saw Space!Beth. Was he squanching double?
"Nah," he thought, "Must've been something I squanched…"
Birdperson's study was nice, organized, quiet. Books from many planets and many languages filled the wooden shelves on the walls of nearly every side of the room. At the desk in the center sat the attorney, Wuzzle Nuzzle.
"Thank you all for coming," he said nobly.
The entirety of the Smith-Sanchez clan and many of Birdperson's next of kin were present and accounted for. Upon acknowledging this, Wuzzle Nuzzle stood up.
"As you know," said Wuzzle Nuzzle, "Birdperson met a tragic end at the mercy of his spouse, Tamara Gutermann, a spy for the former Galactic Federation." Everyone spit at the name. "He was resurrected with a Federation-controlled robotic brain and renamed, fittingly enough, Phoenixperson. Phoenixperson was again terminated, by his former friend Rick Sanchez, in the same battle that lost Gutermann."
He proceeded to withdraw a paper of high importance from his coat pocket. It was the will.
"Mr. Person has instructed to me to present the will should he die under control of the Federation. Given recent events, that time is now."
He unfolded the paper, cleared is throat, and began to read.
"To my parents and siblings, I leave my decor and the items in the black box—the contents and combination to be divulged later. To Squanchy, I leave my share of the memorabilia from our rock and roll band, The Flesh Curtains, on the condition that they must not be squanched with.
"To Rick Sanchez and his family, I leave my photographs of him, of us together and of The Flesh Curtains. He was my best friend, without whom I probably wouldn't have lived as long as I have.
"Finally, I leave my vast fortune in its original bird currency, which may be used for any purpose…"
Rick woke up. With money like that, he could buy his way into the most expensive of clubs, or even bribe revivals of the Federation out of reviving…or maybe just chip in to Morty's college fund.
"The money is to be divided evenly among all parties present," the lawyer continued reading, "On the condition that they must spend one night in my home. Should any party decide to leave before morning, they forfeit their share."
"Oh great," groaned Rick, "We walked into an episode of Scooby-Doo."
He started to dip his hand into his pocket, but suddenly remembered he left his portal gun back home.
"It's a…nice place to visit," Morty admitted, "But I…I don't think I wanna live here."
"Once one day has passed," Wuzzle Nuzzle continued reading, "Should no one decide to stay longer, the house will be put up for public auction."
He re-folded the will and put it back in his pocket.
"And that is it. If you've decided to try for a portion of the Birdperson fortune, the Person family will help you to your rooms."
Squanchy jumped up and down in delight.
"I CALL SQUANCH ON THE MASTER SQUANCHROOM!" he yelled.
"Damn," Rick groaned.
Beth stood up.
"No, Squanchy," she said sternly, "Nobody's calling dibs. It's an evenly divided fortune, therefore, we should get evenly-divided rooms."
Squanchy frowned and sat down.
"Very good, Mrs. Smith," said Wuzzle Nuzzle, impressed, "You should come over and look after my children some day."
"Thank you, Mr. Nuzzle, but I already have a child to look after," she glanced at Jerry, "But I'm sure Space!Beth is available…"
Not that anyone asked, but Summer too had a child to look after on the side. You know the one I'm taking about.
Nightfall on Birdworld. The Sanchez-Smiths were shown to their rooms. Some had to pair up (Beth and Jerry, Space!Beth and Summer), others (Rick and Morty) were lucky with rooms to themselves. Rick got the master bedroom, and why not? Birdperson was his best friend, and it was the best bed in the house.
They all settled in and soon enough, most of them were fast asleep. The few people who were still up were Space!Beth, who was charging the batteries on her many weapons, and Morty, who was…erm…occupying himself with the pictures on his phone that Jessica sent him.
But one thing was for sure: it was going to be a long night.
