Chapter 5: Ingrid's Car

Thanks to Ms S, When-A-Sprite-Meets-Unicorn, VeraRose19 for reading and commenting. I'm glad to share that story with you.

You asked me some questions about Ceci's relationship with her girlfriend, Ingrid, there are some details about them here.

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The day Dayanara came home with the letter from the Fines Arts Institute, she wore black converses. She had found them in a flea market.

She opened the small apartment's door , rushed into the living room, where everyone was watching TV. She had called their mother:

"Mom, mom!"

"What?" Aleida sighed, looking up from the screen in annoyance.

"I was accepted into an art school. The letter was in the mailbox."

Their mother had stood up. She had looked at the envelopes in Dayanara's hands. She grabbed the stack of bills and put it on the living room table. Christina had seen the pile disappear among heaps of toys and some Storky wrappings. Then Aleida stared at the envelope Daya was still holding, without saying anything. Her sister had understood the message. She had stopped smiling. She had looked down at the rubber soles of her shoes. Stars were drawn there. At that time, Dayanara always made small drawings on the soles of her trainners.

"You won't have to pay anything mum. I will have a scholarship to go to this school, and I will find a job. Lots of people are doing it. My counselor told me that you could make an appointment with her, to talk about the details, if you want. "

Christina knew she shouldn't stay here, that she should go to her room so as not to hear the long argument that would come. But, she wanted to know when they will start screaming. She would leave then.

Aleida had taken the envelope in Dayanara's hand, tore it open to open it faster.

"I don't need a fucking counselor to raise my kids. Do you want to go back to foster care? Do you want your brother and sisters would go to foster care?"

Christina moved on the couch. She was going to wait for it to pass. It was the only thing she could do. If she asked them to calm down it would be worse.

She glanced at Emiliano who was watching the images scroll across the screen. Her little sister Eva was playing on a blanket on the floor.

When she answered their mother, Daya did not cry out.

"I'll be eighteen soon. The counselor, she doesn't give a damn about the way you bring up kids, she just wants to help me."

Aleida slammed the paper on the table. She also had stopped screaming, but her voice was creepy when she spoke.

"You know what Dayanara? Take your fucking paper, go play artist in your art school, and when you have a problem, call your counselor."

Eva started to cry. Shee was screaming so stridently that Christina could no longer hear the somewhat reassuring sound of the TV. She got up and went to her room. No one was paying attention to her, anyway.

"Take care of the baby; be useful while you're here," Aleida shouted to Daya. Cristina stretched out on her bed and looked at the ceiling. Maybe she would manage to fall asleep, until the end of the afternoon.

XXX

"I like this song, what is it?"

"Avi Bufalo. What's In It For, I think," Cecilia Mendosa replied, narrowing her eyes to focus on the wet road in front of her.

Christina had been surprised to see her appear as she waited at the bus stop. She was returning from Litchfield Maximum Security where she had seen her sister.

When the high school nurse offered to take her home, she was relieved. After a rather difficult time, getting back into a comfortable car would be a good thing. It was rare that things were easier than expected.

"I went to see my sister ... in prison," she said after a few minutes of silence. She knew Cecilia Mendosa wouldn't judge her, she wouldn't judge her family.

"Ah, did that go well?" She asked gently.

Christina looked at her moon boots. They were quite ugly but protected her from the cold.

"I don't really know," she replied. "When I told her about… you know, she was surprised. She told me that she hoped I wouldn't regret my decision."

Cecilia Mendosa played with some shiny rubber bands that circled the "gear lever." She was looking for something to answer and Christina felt uncomfortable.

"You're the only one who knows if you made the right decision," she said finally. "When you came to see me, I felt that this is what you wanted. I think you just have to remember the reasons off this choice, and it will be easier for you to live with it."

Christina looked inside the car, the things around her. Small decorations on the gear levers, a tree leaf-shaped stuff hanging from the ignition key. The key fob was making the sweet noise of a bell when the car was turning or braking. In the back seat was a checkered blanket. Red, blue, green mingled with it. The reason of her decision may have been there. She wanted to create some beauty in her life before to have a child, like there was in this car.

"I couldn't become a mother, not now," she whispered. "It was simply impossible." Then she told Cecilia Mendosa this shameful thing that she never told anyone about.

"You knew, a few years ago, when we lived in Newyork, with my stepfather and his girlfriend, he was arrested. He asked me to take care of my sister's baby. I did, for a few hours. I was the only one who could do it. When social services arrived to take us to foster homes, I was relieved. As soon as I approached her, she cried. It's the same for my little sister Lucy. I'm not very good with her. Not like Dayanara ... "

"Your other sister?" Cecilia Asked .

Christina nodded. It has always been easy for her to take care of the children. When she left, maybe she thought I would do the same. But I did not succeed. When I was little, I thought she would get married and have children of her own. Children are her thing, that and drawing. "

"I don't think your sister is mad at you. Maybe she's just sad because you have opportunities that she didn't had," Cecilia said calmly.

Maybe it was true, but it didn't matter for Christina. She would have liked to have had the support of Dayanara, to be comforted by a member of her family, just once in her life. Apart from her brother, she had the impression that none of them cared about her.

"I don't want to do better than my sister or my mother, "she added in a shaky voice." I'm just going to try something different. I'm almost in college."

"And it will be good. I know it's hard to imagine right now, but you'll have a nice life," Cecilia Mendosa replied, smiling at her. Christina had never heard so much warmthin her voice. She knew that this cold, rather drab looking girl was actually very kind.

XXX

Cecilia stroked the little rubber bands Ingrid had put on the gear lever. It gave her courage. She knew she was going too far, that she was doing more than a nurse should. She shouldn't be in a car borrowed from her girlfriend, with a teenage girl who was her patient. But, she also knew that

she might be the only adult Christina could rely on right now, the only person who would say anything to her that made him believe in the future.

"You could have a child latter," she said. "If you want, you can have one when you will be ready."

"Pablo, my boyfriend, he doesn't want to be with me anymore," replied the young girl, sobs in her voice.

These words suddenly brought tears in Cecilia's eyes. She would have preferred a childish vocabulary to talk about this separation, teenage lamentations as she sometimes heard in her office. Ingrid, either, didn't want to be with her anymore. She knew what pain it was, the void it left. They probably shared the same guilt, because Cecilia hadn't had the energy to fix things.

Christina continued to speak. "He came to the date with me, but yesterday he told me that even though he understood my decision he didn't want to continue, that it was too hard."

"Maybe you can talk with him about it later," Cecilia replied. "He respects your decision, that's already good."

Christina wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Cecilia rummaged in the glove box, took out a paper handkerchief and handed it to her.

"I miss him a lot." She no longer cried as she said this, and Cecilia understood that her sadness was deep.

"Is Melany doing something tonight? "She asked suddenly.

"I don't know." Christina replied, intrigued. "Why do you want to know this?"

"Because I think you should call Melany and spend the night at her place. You should watch a movie, eat ice cream, or do the things you like to do. If you want, you could also tell her what you told me."

Christina touched her purse, where her phone was stored.

"You are right," she sighed. "It would be good."

Indeed, it would be good. Melany was one of Christina's best friends. She was a nice kid, who lived in a nice little apartment. Her parents were kind, welcoming people. . It was good to have a person like her in your life.

"I like the way you decorated your car," Christina remarked, tapping on her phone.

Cecilia felt her cheeks blush. This was confirmed when she caught her face in the rearview mirror.

"Mine is actually in the garage. It's Mrs. Morales's."

Christina chuckled, but luckily she returned to her phone.

XXX

Cecilia had fallen in love with Ingrid because of her car. She'd gotten to know each other in this red honda filled with colorful items, Sunny Delight bottles, and candy wrappers. The Honda reflected Ingrid's personality, whimsical and cheerful. A personality opposite with Cecilia's. She understood Christina's astonishment, seeing her in a car that looked so unlike her.

Cecilia looked at the colorful blanket behind her, and she remembered that despite her blandness, Ingrid had chosen her. This thought was filling her with joy, even now. She felt bitter too. What if she ruined everything?

After dropping off Christina at Melany Franklyn's house, she had driven a few miles, and had stopped the car on a small dirt road. She didn't want to go home. She needed a little warmth, something positive that could remind her that life was simple sometimes. She hadn't had the same life as Christina, but there were similarities in their paths. Tonight, she didn't want to think about her childhood.

"I know what you said. But, can we see each other just for dinner please?" She quickly typed the message and sent it, before changing her mind.

The answer came quickly.

"Okay. I'm at my parents' house. You can come, but that's it. Then you go at your place."

XXX

"You haven't have any news, that's good. It's been three days. If your mother had spoken, you would know," Ingrid whispered in her ear.

Cecilia was sitting at the living room table, lingering around a chamomile. The chandelier was casting a soft light.

Ingrid's father had made her taste a new red wine that had come to her head, and she was a little warm. It was pleasant. In the kitchen, a few yards away, she heard a beep and then the sound of the dishwasher starting to work.

"I'm going up to bed, girls," said Gloria Morales, Ingrid's mother-in-law. "Sure, you can sleep here, but if you go, remember to close the door, okay."

"Yes Gloria," Ingrid replied with a fake little girl's voice. Cecilia smiled. Gloria Morales wasn't Ingrid's biological mother, but she adored her. It showed in all her gestures, and in all the words she addressed to her. It was mutual. Even though Ingrid described her as a very annoying person, she always spoke of her stepmother. She always had something to say about her stepmother's work or things they did together. When Ingrid said "my stepmother",

Cecilia heard "mom." She wondered if one day she would ever be closer to her own mother. She didn't really knoww what to do to achieve it. She poured some water into her cup. As long as it was full, she could stay here, without thinking about the next day.

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1 / In the flashback at the start, Christina is 10 years old, 7 years younger than Daya, Emiliano 9 years old, and Eva 1 or 2 years old

2 / The song that Christina and Cecilia listen to in the car, and great and very cheerful. It helps Christina a bit, after visiting her sister

3 / Not very interesting, but I love Sunny Delight