Chapter 9 Dayanara's Hair

Thanks to When-A-Sprite-Meets-Unicorn, Verarose19, Johanna002 for the last reviews. Your words on chapter 8 particularly touched me. Good reading to you, and above all happy mother day.

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Cecilia looked like Gloria, despite her longer hair, and the grandmother outfit she was always wearing. That's what Aleida was saying to herself, walking over to the table she shared with another girl. She cleared her throat to make them notice her presence, and for the red-haired girl to push away the stack of papers in front of her. Aleida set the tray down on the edge of the table, then slid the cups a little farther for them to take its themselves. The red-haired girl frowned. Surely she expected Aleida to serve them, with a little reverence for each. She didn't.

"Thank you," Cecilia whispered. She was so uncomfortable that it was almost funny.

"Oh, you are Christina's mother," the other said suddenly. Aleida was surprised. Fortunately the tray was already on the table. She would have dropped it.

"Yeah, so what?" She replied defensively.

The girl stammered :

"It's just… Sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Ingrid Morales, her English teacher. Last week she did a very interesting essay on a book she had just read.

"That's great," Aleida replied sarcastically. "What was this book?"

"Little Fires Everywhere, by Celeste Ng," the girl replied, a little more hesitantly.

"She saw the show," Aleida clarified. "Maybe she hasn't even read the book.

A strange expression crossed Ingrid Morales's face, something that looked like annoyance.

"Christina is mostly good at math, anyway," she said.

"Yes, that will allow her to go to college." Aleida grabbed the empty tray, letting them know the conversation was over. As she walked away, she heard them whisper.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cecilia asked.

"I was trying to help you, you were sweating guilt," the other replied, smiling. "It wasn't easy, besides."

As she was going to sit down behind the counter for a little break, Aleida sighed. She had been a little unfair toward this girl. In truth, the compliments on Christina had touched her. It was not the first time somebody was telling her this sort of thing about her. At home, her daughter was a wall, a block of reproaches. All the energy she had, she was puting it into these things: school, preparing for her future. She was answering her mother's questions precisely, so as not to discuss more than necessary. Until now, it had been enough for Aleida.

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Litchfield Maximum Security, March 14, 2019

Hi Christina. I am writing to apologize. I thought back to the last time we saw each other, and maybe I could have been nicer to you. Actually, it's not really my idea, but Taystee is asking me every day if I've written to you. So, to make her leave me alone, I do it. Taystee is my bunkmate, in case you want to know. I'm sure you don't care, but I'm telling you about her anyway. Because without Taystee there would be no letter.

So when I told her about you, and said her that I hoped you wouldn't regret your decision, she rolled her eyes. She said that you had "exercised your right to choose", and that I didn't have to judge you. I think she learned that by heart in one of the books she read. But whatever.

I thought a lotabout you, after that. And, I'm not judging you, Christina. I know that maybe one day you will have children, and you can give them what they need, you can see them every day.

I only saw my daughter once, you know. I stayed with her for a few hours before cousin Yas came to pick her up. I tried to memorize the details of her face. Now they are blurry. Sometimes I draw her. I draw a bunch of other stuff, and I put her face in the margins or on the corners of the sheets, so no one sees it. I imagine she has my eyes, and yours. I wonder who she looks like the most. With the drugs, I didn't think about her anymore. Now there are no more drugs. Just Taystee and her optimism.

Forget all that, Christina, the things I just told you.. But, please don't forget me. I believe that you didn't, because if you had forgotten me, you would not have take this decision. Go to college, find a job, and don't let any guy enter in your life.

If you don't want to see me anymore, just answer my letter. It would be good.

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Last night, Aleida had dreamed of Daya. She was tall and beautiful. Her hair, thick and shiny, fell in long curls behind her back. She was wearing a brown trench coat, and was saying goodbye to two girls in the distance. She would have wanted that sort of thing for Daya: to see her come back to a happy home after a weekend with friends.

Aleida glanced at her current surroundings, that little suburb appartment with grey walls. She had to clean up the mess she had left in Christina's room after rummaging around. Daya's letter, which she had found hidden under the bed, had confirmed her what she already knew. Christina had done this terrible thing, this thing that she had stopped Dayanara from doing, years ago. She already knew she wouldn't tell her daughter about it. It was too late.

Daya would spend the rest of her life in Litchfield. The lack Aleida had of her and the think of the womanshe she could have been were her punishment. Eva was in Juvi. There was Emiliano and Christina who were just talking to her for the essential. There was Lucy, Lucy who still loved her. She clung to that, that and the hope that Christina was building her life. She was doing it away from her, making choices that Aleida would never approve of. Christina knew what she was wanting. She thought she had to get to know this other daughter, the one who had Dayanara's hair.

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1 / Firstly, "The litchfield book club" was situated in 2019. In reality, the story takes place in 2018, and this one a few months later, so in 2019

2 / This chapter was sad, I know. Normally the next one will be a Mendosa family centric, with a bit of Nicky. It will be more cheerful.

3 / There are 4 chapters left before the end of this story. If you want to see small things in particular, tell me, I'll do my best to add them