After Dean puts Paul to bed we come together in the main room where Sam will tell us what they figured out. Dean sits next to me; hand on my knee as we wait for him to speak.
"Okay, so Dean needs to obtain an innocent mind, we learned that from the book" he starts off and Dean quickly interrupts.
"Yea, how the hell am I suppose to get my brain as innocent as a baby?"
"That's the thing!" Sam chirps in with a smile on his face "it doesn't need to be as innocent as a babies, it needs to be innocent for a man!"
"Huh?" I shrug at the good news "what does that even mean?" I follow with the question Dean and I are both thinking.
"I made a few phone calls and had Charlie do some digging, there's this retired pastor in Idaho that went underground after Lucifer rose the first time. He's been studying different heavenly works since then, including the Mark of Cain!" Sam explains, our eyes wide with wonder as he speaks "a man can complete the task of innocence by following the commandments outlined through out the bible." He finishes explaining with the same smile he started it with.
"Love thy neighbor bullshit commandments?" Dean speaks out
"It is not bullshit, Dean," Castiel finally adds to the conversation.
"Sorry" he says to the angel with no real meaning behind it "so if I follow through with these commandments, we can mix our blood and the mark will be gone?"
"So it seems" Sam nods to his brother and Dean quickly stands up and embraces his brother in a tight hug.
"It's not as simple as you may think, Dean." Castiel utters when the brothers loosen their embrace. "The commandments were laws that our Father made to teach and lead mankind to Him. When one looks at the commandments, it's suppose to be a reminder that you have broken them and will always fall short of His glory. Although you don't deserve it, you have His undying love and forgiveness. "Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered."" He finishes quoting scripture.
"So God made up these rules, that are impossible to follow just so He can be the one to forgive us?" Dean asks in return in an annoyed tone.
Castiel shakes his head "they are not impossible, they are just impossible to maintain. Man will always sin; God will always forgive. The hard part will be following all 10 of these commandments at once, honoring each one until we can get your blood."
"I'll make it happen" Dean responds with determination. He turns to me and repeats, "I'll make it happen." I nod my head at him and smirk because I know he will give everything he has to do so.
He leaves the room and the 3 of us stay behind. "Where do we even begin?" I ask them when he's long gone.
"Well, I think you two should go meet with this pastor. He has a lot of incite on how to follow the commandments. Then whenever Dean is ready, he just has to try and follow them" Sam puts plainly
"Can't Cas do it" I ask not wanting to leave the bunker
Castiel's mouth forms into a hard line of disagreement before he speaks "I'm an angel, the commandments don't apply to me and I would not know where to have Dean start. Sam has the right idea, talking with the pastor would be the best way to go"
"Alright. I guess we're going to Idaho." I shrug my shoulders as I wipe my sweaty palms across my pants. I go to find Dean, taking comfort in the dim lit halls. I know this isn't going to be easy for him, and he is going to need everyone's support to achieve success.
Our bedroom door is cracked open, before I go to open it, I hear Dean speaking lowly. I put my ear closer to the opening and listen "Are these the type of games you play? Making humans jump through hoops to get your forgiveness, that's some righteous work." My head rests against the wall as I wait for more "Sam and I have given so much, and you still won't help. How am I supposed to do this when you're not even listening? Who am I kidding, you're not even there." I hear his feet scrape against the floor as he stands, the bed creaking under his weight.
I take this as my sign to enter, as if I heard nothing "so, Sam thinks we should go talk to that pastor in Idaho"
"Guess so, we can leave in the morning, take a little less then a day to get there" Dean responds not looking towards me.
"Sam's already booking us a flight" I step closer closing the space between us physically.
He looks up at this, tension fills his green eyes "I don't think we should take Paul on a plane"
"He's going to stay here with Sam" I tell him, his eyes squint and I add "it's not safe for him to go anywhere really."
"We should just drive" his right shoulder shrugs
"Dean," I take a seat next to him, crossing one leg underneath me "We need to get going on this, and fast. Who knows how long this will take you" I reach my hand to his but he pulls it away. My hand lay flat on the bed, the warmth where his hand was fading quickly. "What's wrong?"
"I just hate flying" he says nonchalantly
"Really?" I smirk unaware of this fear "you've been to hell, yet you're afraid of flying?" A chuckle escapes my lips and his head cocks annoyed towards me. I slip my hand over my mouth to cover up "sorry" I mumble out loud enough so he can hear me.
"Whatever, let's pack" he leans down pulling his duffle out from under the bed. I follow his lead and go to the other side of the bed to pull mine out. We pack silently, and I steal glances at the man I love, noticing how dark the circles under his eyes are. The way he throws things into his torn brown leather bag mechanically, not phased by what's to come.
It takes me more time to pack then him and he leaves to find Sam. I walk to the door and turn to look at our room before I leave. There's nothing in it to distinguish it's ours. Dean has a gun hanging on the wall and a pair of drum sticks used by the drummer of Black Sabbath on his night stand, but that's all. I set my bag down and walk over to the side of the bed. I kneel down, something I've never done, and bow my head. "I know you're listening. Please help us God, please" I sigh out before opening my eyes. I stand up quickly and close the door behind me. I walk out to the boys where Dean is waiting impatiently tapping his foot. I hear the rumble of the printer as it gears up and spits out the paper. "Let's go" Dean looks at me pulling the paper out and folding it into his back pants pocket.
"Already?" I look at dumbfounded. We just decided to leave and I knew it had to be quick but Paul is still sleeping.
Dean looks at me already annoyed that I'm making him fly "Sam booked us the next flight, it leaves pretty soon" his foot taps again waiting for me.
I take a deep breath and puff it out quickly, no time waste I think to myself and nod. Dean turns around to walk out and I step behind to follow. As we are leaving Sam calls after me "Hayden, hold up!" He says. I turn to him as Dean continues out of the bunker. "Play this on the ride over"
He tosses me a cassette tape and I look down at it. I squint my eyes and look back up to the younger brother "Metallica?"
He smirks back at me "it'll help calm him" he puts on a big smile and waves. I smile back and head towards the door yet again "I'll take good care of Paul!" He yells after me before the door shuts.
As we take the drive to the airport in the impala I try whatever I can to maintain a conversation with him. All attempts are responded with a grunt of agreement or some nods. Eventually I get the hint he isn't in the mood to talk. I grab the cassette tape Sam gave me and pop it into the tape deck. Dean gives me an eery look when I do so. I ignore it and turn the volume up when the first song 'Blackened' bursts through the speaker. After a few chords Dean finally responds "Metallica?" He questions raising his eyebrows.
"Sam said it'll help" I nod along to the music.
He doesn't respond and just focuses his eyes back on the road. I ignore his obvious bad mood and tap my foot on the floor to the beat of the music. When we get to the airport we check-in quickly and wait in the short 15 minute line to get through security. We've never been so awkward together then we are right now. I try to not let it get to me, but by the time we get in our seats on the plane, I can't take it anymore. "Dean" I say firmly to him in a low tone as the stewardess begins to talk about flight safety. He doesn't look to me and his eyes stay trained on the woman. "Dean" I say again with more force. His forest green eyes stay trained a head, barely blinking. I give it one more try and I know this time he won't ignore me, because I plan on getting everyone's attention, "Excuse me, DEAN!" I holler loudly so the entire back of the aircraft can hear me. I smirk towards him when all eyes avert to us. The stewardess closest to us walks quickly towards us.
"Excuse me, is there a problem here?" She politely, in the most fake way asks us.
I look to Dean for him to answer her, knowing know he can not ignore me "No, there's not a problem" He glances towards me then smirks back towards the woman.
"Okay than" She nods with the same fake smile and briskly walks back to her position before another woman begins speaking on the intercom and they start their hand gestures again.
Dean's eyes blaze into mine with anger and frustration as he waits for me to speak "why are you being such a dick?" I ask him
His eyes grow wide "Why am I being a dick?" He repeats the question back to me leaning in closer as he tries to contain his rage. I nod to him, unafraid. He tilts his head to the side and he lets out a deep breath "there's kind of something huge riding on me here, the future of our son depends on me accomplishing something I don't think is possible, and on top of it all, we're taking a friggen plane to get there" He finishes through gritted teeth taking a deep inhale after.
"So your being a dick because I made you get on a plane?" I try to comprehend his anger towards me.
He drops his head and shakes it "I'm trying to keep it together here Hayden, there is a lot of shit going on and I'm the only one who can deal with it. I'm just ready to get this thing over with."
"says who?" I fire back
"well I am the only one who can get the mark off Paul since I'm the one who gave it to him" he tells me in a matter of fact tone.
I let a sarcastic chuckle escape my lips as I roll my eyes "and that means you have to go at it alone? You know, I'm here for you. I'm here to help you with this Dean" I let my eyes sink into his but relief or comfort does not wash over him, so I speak more "You have so many people in your corner, yet you always feel alone. What is with you? You're over thinking the possibility of failure. I know you won't fail, Sam knows you won't fail.. Castiel has faith in you.. You are the only one doubting" I lie about Castiel. I know it's better not to tell him about the doubt he shared with me.
I see something shift in his eyes "it's just a lot to handle" he opens up again. At this point the plane is pushing back and I know I need to keep him distracted. I grab his hand and squeeze it tight before he can look away "I honestly don't know if I can do this" he lowers his voice more so I can barely hear him.
"You can do anything, I've heard the stories, and I've even seen some myself" I try and pick him up but know he's starting to feel nervous as the plane takes it spot and the flight attendants take their seat. "Remember our first official date?" I try and take his mind off of his troubles with a different approach.
"The one where we were going to go dancing?" His eyebrow raises not sure where I'm going with it.
I nod my head and smile thinking back to the moment "I couldn't believe you actually danced with me outside in the middle of nowhere when it was happening. I remember thinking to myself how crazy romantic it was and how a guy like you would sure ruin it somehow"
"A guy like me?" He chuckles pulling his hand away acting offended.
"Oh you know you only wanted one thing out of that night" I smile to him laughing
He shakes his head with a big smile "absolutely not"
"Right, because sex was the farthest thing from your mind at that moment" I joke around with him.
We chuckle some more "Okay, at that point it actually was. I kept thinking how stupid I was for not looking into the place first! And then I just popped in the tape and winged it. I'm surprised it actually worked." He nods his head with a smile still on his face.
"Well, it worked damn well if you recall what happened next" I lean my head into his as the plane adjusts to the altitude.
"How could I forget" he lets his head carry my weight and leans his mouth into mine.
"Feeling better?" I ask after our lips part, his mouth tasting salty.
"A bit" he says back to me. His head leans up a little so I lift mine away. He looks out the window and then back to me "we already took off?" He seems surprised. I nod and his smile returns "that wasn't all that bad. This is already better than my last flight" He adds on.
My eyes squint "what happened then?" I ask wanting to know the story behind it.
"I'll tell you when we land" he says uneasy looking around. I nod and he kisses me on the cheek before closing his eyes and resting his head on the seat. Our fingers stay intertwined together for the duration of the flight.
When we land in Idaho we quickly get out to the curb. Along the way, Dean tells me the story about one of the first demons him and Sam ever encountered. "Alright, let me get an Uber to the motel we're staying at." I pull my phone out of my bag.
"A what?" Dean looks at me baffled
"Uber" I repeat myself while navigating the app "you really do live under a rock" I smirk finishing up getting our ride. Within a few minutes, a young man driving a Honda Fit pulls up.
"Hayden?" he rolls his window down. I smile at the man and get in the back seat. Dean's eyes adjust to caution mode as he slides in next to me.
"I don't like this" he whispers to me as the young boy pulls away from the curb "we have no weapons to protect ourselves" his fists grip together in protection mode.
"Calm down, we don't need to protect ourselves" I say back to him quickly remembering he thinks there's a threat around every corner. He keeps his fists together ready to defend us if he needs to. The young man tries to make small talk, but I think Dean's death glare scared him to shut up. We arrive to the motel and Dean gets out quickly, motioning his hand for me to get out quickly. I pay the driver and he speeds out of sight before the door even closes. "I told you we would be fine" I look at him widening my eyes at his paranoia.
"This is why I drive everywhere. We need weapons." He says before walking ahead of me to go to the front desk. I roll my eyes and follow him inside "One king" he says throwing down one of the many credit cards and a fake license to go with it.
"No problem Mr...Francis" The woman behind the counter with fake red hair says looking at the I.D. She smiles wide at Dean and bats her eyelashes, undeterred by the fact I am standing right behind him.
She turns around to get us our keys and I lean closely to whisper in his ears "Do all woman swoon after you?"
His perfect teeth glisten in the awful florescent lighting when he turns to me "you included"
"I did not swoon after you" I playfully hit him in the arm.
"You totally swooned!" He hits me back with his hip and I swing off balance to the right. As I try to regain my balance he wraps him arm around my hip and pulls me close to his side. We are laughing when the woman comes back with our keys.
"Here you go" She says directly to Dean "if there is anything" emphasis on the anything "I can do for you, let me know" she smiles again to him. Dean keeps his one arm wrapped around me and grabs the keys with the other. As he begins to turn the woman finally adjusts her eyes to mine and her smile falters into a disgusted pout. I smile back at her, unconcerned about how she feels. As he opens the door for me to exit, I walk in front of him and he slaps me on the ass. My smile grows knowing the woman saw what just happened.
We get into the room and throw our bags onto the bed. Dean goes straight to the minibar and I head for the bathroom. I turn the water on and undress. A few moments pass before I start to see the steam. I step in and let the drops wash over me. I let the shower drip through my hair and watch as the droplets fall on my feet. Two on the left, 4 on the right in a patter motion repeating itself quickly until I take a step forward interrupting its flow. There'a a knock on the door followed by a sudden breeze. "Hey, room for one more?" Dean's sultry voice lifts above the sound of the running water.
"Always" I reply back moving back under the shower head to make room for him. I turn towards the wall as he enters and begin to wash my hair. Dean's fingers are suddenly intertwined in my hair and he's massaging my scalp. I let my hands fall to the side and allow him to proceed. A few moments pass before he finishes that and grabs the bar of soap I have sitting on the ledge. He starts to lather me with it so I tilt my head back letting the bad pressured shower head rinse the shampoo from my hair.
Dean's arms wrap around me a few moments later and he whispers in my ear "Sorry. I know I can be a total ass at times."
"mmm. That's okay" I respond to him with my eyes closed, enjoying the closeness we are sharing right now.
"I'm glad you're here with me" his arms stay wrapped around me tightly "I'm so tired of doing things alone" he continues "and I'm lucky to have someone as strong as you by my side"
"you mean it?" I turn around to face him, my eyes having a hard time staying open as the water pours over them.
"of course" his right hand lifts over my face and lays softly on my cheek. He leans down and plants a tender kiss on my lips. He pulls away reluctantly, leaning back in for one more long kiss. We finish our shower together silently, enjoying the company from one another.
Within the hour we are lying in bed together, I just got off the phone with Sam and Paul is doing just fine. I turn over to face Dean after I place the phone down, "well, let's try and get some rest. We have a long couple of days ahead." I smile to encourage him.
"Yea, we do" he says back resting his head against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. I adjust myself so I am know staring up at the ceiling along side him. I close my eyes and pray silently to a God I hope is listening.
