My sister was nothing if not predictably and courageously selfless. It was the way she had always been, constantly throwing herself (sometimes physically) into uncomfortable and often dangerous circumstances just to ensure someone else wouldn't be forced to endure what she could see coming. There was hardly anyone she didn't look out for in this way— the expression of disbelief and self-contempt that flashed across the faces of the wretched dolls we had grown up with when they realised how great a person Isabella Swan is never failed to soothe my ego— except herself. And that was where I came in.
As though through some twisted biological mishap, I was everything Bella wasn't: male, tall, tanned, social, athletic… the continuing list of the opposite to all of Bella's traits was what made up Charlie Oliver Swan the Second, son of Charlie Swan and Renée Dwyer. While I wasn't as academically gifted as my twin, I was healthier than the average teenage boy and had never struggled with any physical activities. Being so physically capable with a sibling that wasn't even half-so made Bella my responsibility. It was me who looked out for my twin who never thought about herself; who made sure she ate when she cooked dinner for us all; who made sure she got everywhere on time and got things she needed and wanted. It was me who reminded Mom that boundaries and responsibilities existed. I looked out for Bella as much as I looked out for myself. That was just how different we were. The only thing Bella and I had in common was our intense and immense hatred for the cold.
That was why I found it ridiculous when she decided to move to Forks.
"Jeez, Bells," I sighed as I relaxed the arm I had used to catch her before she face-planted in the middle of the airport. "Will you really be alright in Forks for a month without me? You haven't even gotten through security yet and you've dropped your passport, tripped four times and bumped into numerous strangers. You're a pick-pocket's wet dream."
She flushed in the same adorable shade of crimson as they always flared up in, right from her neck to her ears. She curtained her face with her chocolate curls to shield herself from me and it made me smirk.
"I'll be fine," she insisted, repeating the sentence she had persisted in using since the second she had told me she was moving to Forks to live with Charlie. In fact, I was sure she had used it before she had even told me in a feeble attempt to prevent me from exploding in a fit of absolutely justified anger. "Stop worrying so much. I'm the older one. Will you be OK without me?"
Her lame attempt at cracking a joke wasn't enough to lift the sinking dread in my stomach even a nanometre but I let my smirk widen and I ruffled her hair in an attempt to appease both her worry of leaving me alone and my own reluctance for her departure. It was only a month in everyone else's eyes but for Bella and I, it was the second-longest we'd ever been apart, with the longest being when Charlie and Renée divorced and decided that having a child each might be best. Apparently, that had lasted all of a six-weeks before my lung capacity drove sleep-deprived Charlie Senior insane and they reunited us again. That was when we were five months old.
"Only by three seconds."
"By three minutes."
"That's what I said, three seconds."
Bells allowed her smile to waver and she set her handbag atop her case in a subtle invitation for a hug. I readily accepted it and wrapped my arms around her petite frame, wondering how on earth she would cope without me when I was falling apart just hugging her at the airport. That was another difference between Bells and I— I'd gotten Renée's affectionate and dramatic streak while she got Charlie's suffer in silence and awkwardness.
"I'll miss you, Bells."
"I'll miss you too. It's only a month. "
A month that would, without a doubt, be the longest of my life. I wasn't sure if Bella and I would ever be able to go to separate colleges. I needed to see her every day, even if we didn't live together. A life without Bella was unimaginable. Even if it was just for four weeks.
"I better go."
She pulled away from me and cast me one last smile before she faced the sniffling mess that was our mother. Renée threw her arms around Bella and sobbed loudly into her hair about how much she was going to miss her. Phil glanced at me with a smile on his face and, as he peeled Mom off Bells and my sister walked away into the crowd, nightmarish images flashed in my brain. My step-father constantly teased me about what I would do when Bella got married and now, as she walked away, I was reminded of the nightmares I'd been having where she'd walked arm in arm with a man whose face I couldn't see, dressed in a white gown with her chocolate curls up. In the dream, she never looked back because she was so focused on her new husband. I didn't realise I was holding my breath until real Bella Swan, in jeans and a worn-out jumper, smiled back at me over her shoulder and mouthed "I'll be fine."
I wished I could believe her.
"Oh, CJ," Mom sighed beside me, her fingers tangling with mine. I raised our linked hands and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Mom's small frame sank against my ribs. My eyes never moved from the spot I had last seen my sister before she'd been swallowed by other voyageurs and their families. "I'm going to miss you both so much."
"I haven't left yet."
Her head turned and I forced my eyes to see her wistful smile.
"Only because of your game."
I couldn't think of a suitable reply that would soothe the loneliness she already seemed to be feeling. My wanderlust mother was about to finally be able to travel with her minor-league baseball player husband, a life that would suit her infinitely well all because her selfless daughter had realised how unhappy she was stuck at home with us.
Since the fateful day Bells and I told her about Bella's scheme to "spend some quality time with Charlie", I'd been gauging her moods in an attempt to piece together whether or not she'd figured out Bells' real motivation for moving to the unbearably wet and cold town of Forks. As far as I could tell, Mom was in the dark.
"Well, I guess I better win to make sure she didn't go on her own for nothing." I squeezed Mom against my chest before I released her to Phil and stalked back to the car alone. I was going to have to get used to that. Without Bells, I'd always be alone. Just the realisation was enough to send chills through my body.
It was going to be a long four weeks.
