The next morning I wake up and get ready. I call Mark and see if he wants to go out that night. We meet at the only other bar in town and start drinking. After a couple hours of fun he invites me back to his place. We get to his house and he opens us some beer. "I have to say Jaclyn, I'm having a lot of fun with you" he smiles that perfectly lop sided smile.
I smile back and scoot a bit closer to him. "Me too" I respond sheepishly, meaning it. It's probably just the drinks talking but I let it take over me, enjoying what I'm feeling and what I'm getting back.
He sighs "I'm gonna tell you something I don't think I should" he looks at me. I bat my eyes waiting. "You are the first woman I've had in this house since my wife passed" he finishes and looks at me with vulnerable eyes.
I lean back just a little, startled at his confession.
"I don't, I don't know what to say." I tell him honestly. He smiles just a little and my heart yearns for him. This man lost the women he loved so young, that must be so hard.
"May I?" He asks leaning into me and cutting off my thinking. I nod just a little back allowing him and he kisses me softly. The kiss quickly turns into more and we are in his bedroom rather quickly and things move quickly there as well. Afterwards when we get dressed we sit back down on the bed next to each other. He looks at me "I'm sorry if that was too forward Jaclyn." He apologizes to me.
"No, it's fine. I'm sorry. That all just happened, you know." I agree with him not too proud of how fast we just let things go.
"can we see each other again?" He asks me with glistening eyes.
"I'd like that" I return with a small smile. He leans in and kisses me softly. He stands up and walks me to the door. He drives me to the bar we met at, and I get in my car and drive back to the motel.
I lay there in bed, turning back and forth. My mind racing. Mark is a great guy, someone who deserves more than what I can offer. He lost the most important person to him and I can't allow myself to try and fill that for him. I throw the blanket of of me and begin to grab all my stuff and throw it into the truck. I leave my keys in the drop box and drive off.
I drive for 16 hours before stopping to rest. I get a motel room and fall right into the bed. I wake up, and shower. Afterwards, I sit in front of my laptop and search for work. Search for something that will bring back my own form of normal.
