Week one without Bella was even tougher than I could have imagined and not at all in the way I expected. It was suddenly impossible to focus on any one thing at anytime and I was constantly looking for something to do. Baseball was the only thing that kept me sane and even then both coach and Phil clucked about like mother hen's, complaining that I was overworking myself.
"There's less than three weeks til the big game, CJ," they'd say. "You can't afford to get injured now."
In my head, I always answered back that an injury would be a miracle. I wanted to get an injury- one bad enough that I couldn't play baseball anymore but not so bad that I couldn't go to Bella as soon as possible.
I hated baseball more than I hated the cold. Actually, that was a lie. I liked baseball but I hated how the people around me had ruined it for me. Phil had taught me how to play as a kid and Mom encouraged it as a lovely bonding exercise between us- heck, it was something Charlie could at least talk to me about too- but it hadn't taken long for it all to get too intense. With no kids of his own and my physical prowess even as a child, Phil began to project his dreams of being a major league player onto me. When I got to high school, Coach Smith made it all worse with talks of scouts and scholarships and more dreams neither of them had achieved. And where had their obsessions gotten me? With a twin on the other side of the country, waiting for me to join her after a final, wretched game that coach had invited college scouts to.
Phil had refused to let me leave until I agreed to play it. I hadn't told him that I had no intention of joining the Forks high school baseball team and that the only reason I would force myself to accept a baseball scholarship was for the money it would save Mom and Charlie.
"C'mon, man, why not? What've you got to lose from one night out? Just you, me, Tuck and the cinema," Kyle whined as he backed dangerously close to a football player who loomed in the centre of the school hallway. The guy was built like a brick wall and clearly didn't have a considerate bone in his body. "It's not like I'm asking you to drink or become a junkie!"
"I don't know," I mumbled, grabbing a handful of Kyle's grey sweater and hauling him away from he who I recognised to be the school's quarterback. The guy was known for beating anyone who even looked at him funny into next week. "I've been feeling pretty out of it since Bells left."
"We know you have! That's why we're making the effort to extend this invitation to you." Kyle glanced over my shoulder to see who I'd shoved him around and threw in a breathless apology. "We've let you mope for an entire week. What do you even do anymore? Practice all the time?"
"And I do homework a lot," I admitted. "It takes longer without Bella."
"There you go again! It's always "Bella, Bella, Bella"! Even when she lived here you weren't this bad!" Kyle sighed exasperatedly and turned around. Seeing his small shoulders sag stirred guilt in my stomach. I realised I definitely wasn't any fun to be around, being all mopey and distracted. I was leaving in three weeks and would undoubtedly be under house arrest in the two weeks coming up to the game so it was really my last chance to actually hang out with my friends. Kyle had clearly been more aware of it than I had.
"Alright, I'll go."
Kyle whipped about as quick as lightning and lunged at me, wrapping his tiny arms around my neck as tightly as he could.
"I knew you'd say yes!"
"I'm sure you did," I scoffed, waddling around him as best as I could. "Everyone hail the all-knowing Kyle."
Kyle laughed and jabbed me in the side but his weak little hand didn't hurt the slightest. Kyle was so small that he could probably fit into a kid's clothes. He and Tuck always said that I just thought he was smaller than he was because of my "unnatural" height. Maybe they were right because I saw Kyle as the same height as Bells but apparently there was a three-inch height difference.
"I'll tell Tuck to come too. Let's meet there at six-thirty OK?"
I should've said no. I should not have agreed to go. I hated myself for subjecting myself to the torture that was a cheap thriller-action movie that made me cringe every five seconds because of how poorly made it was. That combined with Tuck and Kyle's PDA had me too mentally and emotionally drained to go to dinner with them. Kyle wasn't happy about it but a quiet mumble from Tuck made him reconsider.
"Enjoy the rest of your date night!" I hollered over my shoulder, laughing when I saw Kyle flush bright pink. He'd get me back someday but I knew he secretly loved being teased about his and Tuck's relationship. It made him feel like it was normal, like it wasn't the pariah like his parents tried to convince him it was.
I shook my head to myself as I turned away, shuffling down the bustling street. The opinions or business of others had never really bothered me, I never really cared about other people's feelings either. Bella had always done that enough for both of us. So understanding why outsiders thought they could dictate people's personal relationships and lives was something I could never wrap my brain around.
Meeting Kyle's parents once was more than enough for me. I would never understand how or why Tuck dealt with it.
"C'mon, gorgeous. We can make you feel really good."
"Yeah, just come with us and we'll show you a good time."
I craned my head to find the source of the voices and found myself approaching an ominous alleyway, shielded from the streetlights by the fluttering canvas of a closed café. Three swaying figures cackled inside, looming over one petite woman who looked like she belonged in Phoenix even less than Bella had. The lady's skin wasn't translucent like my sister's but glowing white like freshly fallen snow. Shimmering threads of gold swished around her face as she flashed a stomach-flipping smile at the three creeps buzzing around her like pestering flies.
"C'mon. What've you got to lose?" One of them edged closer to her. I didn't understand how he wasn't immobilised by her smile, how he paralyed by her transcendental beauty like me. It was like they thought she was just some ordinary, pretty human and not the extraordinary goddess she clearly was.
"I really don't think that's a good idea. I'm only supposed to pass through, Phoenix, you see." Her voice was cool and calm, like a lake that had frozen over. It rose goosebumps all over my arms and my muscles clenched so tightly I couldn't tell if I was about to sprint or have a seizure. I didn't know how the men could even muster a sentence in front of her.
"It'll be worth it, I promise," one of the flies crooned. His heavy, ragged breaths expelled clouds of steam around them. Her eyes as the clouds fanned her cheeks but her smile didn't falter. Instead, the corners of her lips curled upwards and her eyes flashed gold.
A sudden pang of fear launched me into action. I wasn't sure who I was afraid for.
"Babe, c'mon or we'll be late!" I yelled suddenly. The guys jumped and whipped around like angry dogs to bark at me. I glared as ferociously as I could at them, setting my shoulders as broad like the wolves in a documentary I'd recently seen. It was common for males of any species to rely on size and strength to prove themselves but it wasn't an action I was familiar with and I internally cringed at the thought that rather than intimidating, I just looked like a stupid, tense ball of cringe.
Two faltered and I fought to keep the pose, not to let relief relax my posture. There was still one more to convince. He was shorter than me but what he lacked in height he made up for with brawn- biceps like hills rolled as he squared up, his jaw set in a stubborn scowl.
"These guys aren't bothering you, are they?"
The woman laughed and a glowing hand wrapped gently around my bicep- flesh against flesh. I couldn't help the shiver that tingled from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It was like having an ice sculpture wrapped around my arm or having my arm buried in a freezer. Even Bella never got that cold. I don't think anyone got that cold. It wasn't healthy; it wasn't normal.
"They were just pointing me in the right direction," she replied casually, as if her body wasn't at freezing point. She rested her head on my arm but this time I was prepared for the temperature and kept a straight face. Judging by the enamoured expression that fluttered over the men's faces, she smiled at them. "Right, boys?"
"Yeah," one mumbled, subtly reaching for Mr Muscles to pull him away from us. His wide eyes darted so quickly between the lady and I that I wondered what he was seeing. "We've gotta go now."
"What?" Mr Muscles hissed angrily. "We can totally take him!"
"Yeah well I don't really want to get done for assault or being underage so let's just go, man."
They shuffled slowly into the darker end of the alley, constantly glancing over their shoulders as though we were about to charge at any second. It wasn't until they were out of sight that I glanced down at the woman. Her bright, golden eyes blinked up at me as though she had suns for irises. A placid smile played on her lips.
"Sorry for addressing you like that out of nowhere," I said, trying to stay as calm as I could. My breaths were uncontrollably shallow and the hairs on the backs of my head were standing so tall I wouldn't have been surprised if they were visible over the collar on my sweatshirt. Now that I was alone with her, I couldn't help the unease creeping up my spine. "Where are you going? I can walk you there if you'd like. If you're not comfortable with me walking beside you or behind you, I can walk ahead of you."
She answered without even a half-second's hesitation:
"Would you walk me to my car?"
I nodded and her grip on my arm tightened. I shoved my hands in my pockets in an attempt to seem casual but in truth our proximity had me on edge. My arm began to go numb but I couldn't tell if it was from her strength or her temperature. It took conscious effort to keep my breathing and heart rate steady in her presence, not to shrug her hand off and say I couldn't walk her there after all. I was grateful for the distraction when she started talking.
"Are you from around here?"
"Yeah, you?"
"I'm living in Alaska now."
"What brings you so far south?" Were people from Alaska all this cold? Was that how they survived the weather? If that was the case I hoped I never met anyone else from Alaska. I'd die up there.
Her eyes blinked up at me again, a wry smile on her lips. Another shiver rattled my nerves but I curbed it to my free arm and forced myself to look away.
"Boredom."
"Have you found anything to cure it?"
"I think so." Her fingers tightened around my bicep again, not in the same way as before when she'd been gesturing that she was going to keep holding on. This was a vice-like grip designed not to let me escape. But it didn't hurt- probably because I couldn't feel my arm anymore- so I focused on keeping my nerves steeled and mind clear. I refused to meet her eyes despite how they bore holes in my cheek. She chuckled and gestured to a sleek, all-black sports car glistening a few vehicles ahead. "That's my car."
I skipped a step. I would have face-planted, taking her down with me, if not for her surprising steadiness and strength despite her graceful frame. I normally would have been embarrassed for doing a Bella— tripping on thin air— but the only thing that could have distracted me from drooling over the deity's sports car was the deity herself.
"That's your car?" Not a strand of her golden hair moved out-of-place as she nodded. She released my arm as though anticipating my eagerness to appreciate the car, to saunter around it and take in all its features. Its bulbous headlights blinked when she unlocked it. "That's the Lotus Elise, right? It hasn't been released for even a year, how did you get it?"
Her wry smile, similar to the one I gave Bells on one of those rare occasions that I knew something she didn't, made my heart quicken again. "Would you like a ride in it? I can take you home."
"Only an idiot would say no."
The interior of the car was so spotless I felt guilty letting my dusty trainers touch the red carpet. It had that distinctive new car smell and seats a lot lower down than I had expected. I practically dropped onto the red leather seat and was pleasantly surprised to find my legs fit comfortably, like I wasn't six-foot-five. The second I had the door closed, the car jumped to life and swerved smoothly into moving traffic.
"So why were you walking around all alone this late?"
"I was on my way home from the cinema."
She raised a sharp eyebrow and looked at me for the longest second of my life with a confused expression.
"You went to the cinema by yourself?"
"I went with some friends who decided to get dinner afterwards."
"Why didn't you go with them?"
"Because they're a couple."
"Ah…" She looked at me again. This time she smiled like she was enjoying a private joke. Even though her eyes were focused on me, her driving was smooth and effortless like it was something she could have done with her eyes closed. "So you're in a car with a complete stranger and nobody knows where you are?"
"Seems I've put myself in a dangerous situation when you put it like that."
"Would you believe me if I told you you're lucky that it's me and not someone else like me?"
"No…" She smirked and faced the road again. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket and, as much as I wanted to ignore it when I saw the word 'Mom' flashing across the screen, I knew I couldn't. Renée having her phone charged was one thing but actively calling me was another. "Sorry, I've gotta take this. Hello?"
"CJ?! Where are you?!"
"I'm on my way home from the cinema. What's wrong?"
"It's Bella!"
My heart quickened and I felt my mouth go dry.
"What happened? What's wrong? Is she OK?"
"She was in an accident! Oh, honey!" Mom sobbed down the phone and I could hear Phil trying to console her but the only words I could make out were that we didn't have all the details yet.
I turned to the glowing blonde whose eyes were already on me.
"Could you drop me to the nearest bus stop?"
"Why?"
"I need to go to the airport."
"I'll take you straight there now." With a flick of her wrist, we were spinning in a perfect u-turn in the middle of the street, easily avoiding the slow oncoming traffic. The car revved as she changed gears and we were soon drifting between cars faster than I could count.
"CJ?!"
"Mom, I'm going straight to Forks. A friend-" I covered the mic of my mobile. "What's your name?"
"Kate."
"My friend Kate's going to drop me there now and I'll get the first flight to Washington. I'll call Char- Dad and tell him when to pick me up."
"CJ, what about-"
"Everything else can wait. I'll be back in a few days. Bye."
As soon as I had hung up, Kate began to laugh.
"Don't you think that was a bit rash?"
"No. My sister was in an accident and could be dying or in pain or traumatised. If I don't go to see her straight away, I'll never forgive myself."
"Where is she?"
"Forks, Washington."
Another peal of laughter escaped her.
"What a coincidence. I was about to go visit some family of mine there."
