Warnings: Spoilers for anything leading up to S13, Tony/OC, mental health, depression

A/N: I'm thinking about using the Jacob Scott/Trent Kort storyline at the end of s13 in this verse, giving Z a better ending and not the plot hole ridden one that "Family First" and "She" left viewers with. I feel like the NCIS writers are just stringing Tiva fans along and even though I don't ship it, I think that's totally wrong and a ratings grab. Thoughts on this? I'd love to hear them :)


Lauren had found her sister curled up on a wicker loveseat out on the master bedroom balcony. "I put Jack down for a nap," she said, joining her sister. "Are you alright?"

"No," Leah cried, softly. "I'm not. My whole life is falling apart."

"Come on, Leah, it can't be that bad," Lauren replied.

Leah sat up and shoved the note she had found into her sister's hand, waiting while she read it. When Lauren was done, she snapped, "Do you still think that it is not as bad as it seems?"

Lauren took a deep breath and held onto the note in her hand—a suicide note. "Leah, he didn't go through with it. He obviously needs help, there's nothing to be ashamed about."

She was suddenly furious. Leah glared at her older sister. "I'm not ashamed, Lauren! I'm scared, I'm upset, but I am not ashamed of my husband! Yes, he has mental health issues alright—anxiety, depression—but who wouldn't after everything he's been through this year?"

For a moment, Lauren didn't say a word. It had been clear to their parents that Leah was on the verge of a mental breakdown, they had told Lauren about her sister's state of mind when she saw them the previous weekend and it was one of the reasons Lauren had ventured over to visit her sister when she arrived on the Cape. Finding the suicide note that Tony had drafted was, perhaps, the reality check that John and Katherine Dawson were worried about blindsiding their daughter. "Leah, he didn't do it."

"This time," Leah argued, tears gathering in her eyes. "It doesn't mean he won't go through with it the next time."

"Everyone is going to make sure he gets the help he needs," Lauren promised.

Leah looked away, shaking her head. "I want my Tony—the one that would do anything for me, for our son—the one that was filled with so much love, not this rage, and fear. What if that's too much to ask for? What if my Tony never comes back?"

Lauren took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "It was your Tony that didn't follow through with that note, Leah. He was the one that said no. Your Tony is still in there, fighting, he just needs someone to fight with him, someone who knows how to fight with him. You're doing your best but you're not a therapist—you're his wife."

She got up off the loveseat, quickly. Immediately her sister could recognize that she had gone into her hyper focused state that usually only occurred when she was rushing to meet deadlines at George Washington. Leah threw open some drawers and tossed a pile of her clothes onto the bed. "I need to pack. I need to get into that car this afternoon and drive home and stop him… stop him from destroying our lives…. destroying his!"

It was hard reasoning with her sister when she was in this kind of state; the only one that Lauren had seen be able to deal with Leah like this was, ironically, Tony. "Maybe you should come home, to Boston, for a few days. Mom and Dad are worried about you."

"They don't need to worry about me. I'm fine!"

"Are you, Leah? You've had to hold everything together, provide a stable environment for a small child, while traveling…"

Leah shoved her clothes, unfolded into the bag, which wasn't like her. Usually everything was neatly packed. "Jack loved every minute of our trip. You've seen him today—he's a happy baby. However, he won't be a happy baby if his father commits suicide. So, we have to get home, to Washington. Tonight."

Lauren could see that her sister had just as much rage as her brother-in-law. "Then take him home to Washington—tomorrow—when you're level headed and capable of driving."

"I… I would never put my son in danger!"

"I know, that's why you need to wait until tomorrow."

"Tony… needs me," Leah whimpered. Or he used too, I can't tell anymore. No… you need him, and the one you fell in love with… not… not this shell he's become… Tears ran waterfalls down her cheeks as she glanced at her sister. "I need him, Lauren, I need him to get better."

Lauren gathered her sister into her arms and hugged her tightly, like she had when Leah's first boyfriend dumped her or when the young woman had first gotten a rough grade in college after flying through high school. There had been no words to really comfort her little sister back then—there certainly were no words of comfort now.


His dress shirt was sticky thanks to the humidity. Tony forgot how humid it could get in Washington over the summer. It had plastered the shirt to his body and he couldn't wait to be rid of the clothes once he made it home that night—if he did make it home that night.

Gibbs had been working them hard all day, sending Tony everywhere and anywhere with Tim to gather interviews, check in on others involved with the case to make sure they were alive, and follow up on leads. If he didn't know any better he'd say that Gibbs was purposefully keeping him out of the office.

Tony dug his wallet out and stepped up to the coffee cart.

Immediately the young girl's eyes brightened. "Agent DiNozzo!" she greeted with a smile, reminding Tony that they'd had a friendly relationship. "I didn't know you were back! How is the family? I bet Jack is getting big, huh?"

"Enjoying the Cape right now I hope," Tony said, before placing his order for his usual. "Jack started walking."

"I knew he was going to take off over the summer," the girl said as she made his drink.

"Yeah…" Tony said with a wince. He missed his son, but Leah had yet to call and tell him when she was heading home. "Jack is more than happy to roam around."

She chuckled as she handed him his coffee. "Jack is just happy, period."

He winced again, paid for his coffee and stepped out of line. Tony wandered for a bit until he found a bench and sat down. Where had that Agent DiNozzo gone? The one that would talk to anyone, form relationships with anyone around him? He didn't even talk to the flight attendants on their flight… he had built up the tallest wall that he could and kept everyone out. Forget the wall, he had built a fortress.

Across the Navy Yard, Tony spotted Tim making his way towards the SFA. Gibbs must have had another errand for them to run. It was getting close to dinner…

"Boss wants us to go check on Graham Milton," Tim informed him when he arrived.

"Milton was the witness that placed Merchant on the base the night Louisa Ramon was killed," Tony said.

"He lives in cow country now. Ready for a drive?"

"Clever."

Tim looked at him, puzzled. "Huh?"

Tony stood, clutching his coffee. "Gibbs. Doing everything he can to keep me moving. Active. Like it's going to change my mind and make me realize that I belong here."

His partner looked a little deflated. "Tony, you do belong here. Is this about China?"

"China was just the tip of the iceberg," Tony said with a shake of his head, and not elaborating further, countered, "Come on, I'll let you drive."


"You should call Gareth," Lauren said as they sat at the kitchen table. "He might know someone trained to deal with PTSD."

"Do you think that's what Tony is suffering from?" Leah asked, meekly.

Lauren nodded her head. "Yes," she answered, honestly. "Leah, he was tormented by a serial killer, toyed with, stabbed in the knee, and then fled for his life—only to be shot in the chest. That has to be on his mind right now as he goes back to work, and if he isn't in a good place—being on a case could be dangerous for him and his team."

Leah slumped in her chair. She had been so relieved that Tony had survived being shot that she didn't see the signs of his PTSD until their return from Italy. "I think…I think he's drinking, Lauren. I found whiskey in the office."

"Has he been violent with you?"

"No. Just… a lot of shouting and fighting."

"You should probably call Gibbs and tell him about the drinking."

"Tony is pissed at me for calling Gibbs in the first place."

Lauren took a deep breath. "It's for his own good; he might not be able to see it now, but later, when he's better, he'll appreciate it. Please tell me you at least called him about the suicide note?"

Leah nodded. "Yes, right after I found it. He told me that he was going to get in touch with a doctor that he knew. He couldn't tell me much else; not that Gibbs talks a lot when you do speak to him. Tony always did call him a functional mute."