A/N: I wrote this for kicks and giggles, based on a Tumblr post I never saved but still remember. Kix puts up with enough nonsense with the 501st, so what happens when he's temporary medic for Wolfpack?
All canon characters, except for Tinker (mine) and Skip, who Cuthalion97 let me borrow!
"I'm heading out in the morning," Kix told Coric as he packed his field kit. "Which means you'll see either Hardcase or Fives by afternoon."
Coric smiled at that. "Which squad are you going with?"
"Wolfpack."
"Wolfpack? Aren't they a bit… wild?"
"Can't be worse than what I see here." Kix paused in his packing. "What's odd, though, is General Plo Koon told me he was sure I am 'capable of dealing with Wolfpack'."
A sudden laugh made both medics turn. Skip, one of the 442nd medics, was grinning widely at them.
"What?" Kix asked suspiciously.
"You said you're going out with Wolfpack?" Skip asked.
"Yeah."
Skip's grin grew. "Have fun with that."
"Why?"
Skip chuckled. "Sorry, gotta find that out for yourself. Just, uh…" Skip lowered his voice to a whisper, "Don't take your gauntlets off."
"Why wouldn't I- hey!"
Kix ran to the door when Skip bolted, but Skip was already gone. Kix turned slowly back to Coric.
"Do you know what he's talking about?" Kix asked.
Coric shook his head. "I know Wolfpack is wild, but I don't believe half of what I hear. Skip's probably messing with you."
"I doubt it," Kix said, then went to grab extra hypos.
Within minutes on the battlefield with Wolfpack, Kix realized that every story he'd ever heard about the squad was completely true.
They were wildly reckless, ignoring cover in favor of "moving too quickly to get hit!" as one clone cheerfully put it while Kix was literally applying a bacta pack to his shot leg. They also scrambled up and down boulders as easily as level ground, despite an increasing number of troopers who were limping. They simply refused to stop! More than once, Kix had to rapidly treat an injury while jogging alongside the injured clone.
Kix was never going to complain about Fives again.
Eventually, the battle ended. The clones of Wolfpack still didn't exactly stop, but they at least stayed in the same general area and Kix could spot injured clones from a hundred meters.
Still.
"Sergeant," Kix said, staring down Sinker, "What happened to your blaster?"
Sinker stared over Kix's shoulder with great interest while he answered, "Got shot out of my hands."
"Uh-huh… So, rather than standing back or finding another blaster, you decided to just… use your foot."
"...yes."
Kix carefully moved Sinker's foot around, making the clone wince. It was definitely dislocated, the only reason Sinker was on the ground.
"Next time you get an idea like that…"
Kix trailed off, aware that Sinker was ignoring his advice. He yanked the ankle back into place with an audible pop, making Sinker jump and shout.
"Don't," Kix finished, standing. He gestured to a pair of clones nearby. "Don't let him walk on that ankle, got it?"
The pair nodded. Kix gave Sinker a painkiller, then moved on.
Before long, Kix was pointed toward a clone sitting apart from the others. He had his helmet off and was holding his head, tension clear in his shoulders.
Kix strode over to the clone, who was nicknamed Tinker. Once he was closer, Kix saw a bleeding gash on Tinker's temple. Kix remembered that Tinker had fallen off the rocks at some point, but he'd gotten right back up and running again, so Kix hadn't thought anything of it.
"Alright, let's see it," Kix said, dropping his kit at Tinker's feet.
Tinker just groaned and ducked his head.
Kix rolled his eyes. "Don't be dramatic; you were running around just fine."
When Tinker still refused to lift his head, Kix knelt in front of him. Kix frowned at the blood and growing lump on Tinker's head.
"Come on, work with me."
Still no response from Tinker.
Giving up on Tinker cooperating, Kix pushed Tinker upright with a hand on his shoulder. He reached his other hand up and pushed Tinker's hands from his forehead.
Tinker grunted and jerked forward, mouth opening. Before Kix could move his hand, Tinker's teeth clamped down on his fingers!
Reflexively, Kix flicked Tinker's nose, hard, with his other hand. Tinker flinched, mouth opening. Kix yanked his hand back.
For a moment, Kix and Tinker stared at each other.
"You startled me," Tinker eventually said.
Of course, that was a perfectly reasonable reason to bite someone. Kix flexed his hand. The bite hadn't hurt, but he could feel indents left in the glove from Tinker's teeth. He gave Tinker a warning look, but didn't comment.
By comparison, the rest of the day had been pretty dull.
"You're joking."
Kix shook his head. "I wish I was. Tinker bit me."
Coric slowly shook his head. He'd been eager to hear about Kix's time with Wolfpack, and Kix had told him everything, ending with the bite.
"Did he just let go once he realized it was you, or was he going to chew on you?" Coric asked with a slight grin.
"I don't know about chewing, but I flicked his nose before he could," Kix said.
"Flicked… his nose?"
"I've been bitten by a few wild animals in the past. Seemed like the right thing to do with Tinker."
Coric snorted.
"Sooo, how'd it go?" Skip asked as he entered medbay with a grin.
Kix gave him a tired glare. "You could have warned me."
"About what?" Skip asked innocently.
"That Tinker bites," Kix said.
"It's not just Tinker," Skip said, obviously enjoying himself.
Kix raised his eyebrows. "Who else bites?"
"As far as I know… all of them."
"You're joking! I'd have heard about that!"
Skip shook his head. "Only medics who have worked with Wolfpack know about the biting thing. It's tradition!" Skip frowned at Coric. "Guess we can't volunteer you next time."
"No way!" Coric said, quickly shaking his head.
"You're telling me that all of Wolfpack bites the medic?" Kix asked. At Skip's nod, he gave a low whistle. "No wonder they can't keep a medic."
"How'd you get Tinker to let go?" Skip asked.
"Flicked his nose," Kix huffed.
Skip snorted. "Really?"
"Yes, really. What about you? What's your story?"
"Boost got me by the wrist." Skip shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "I yelled and startled him enough that he locked his jaw."
Kix and Coric stared at the medic.
"It's true. Just ask Wolffe. He had to pry Boost's jaws off my wrist."
Kix shook his head slowly, then had a thought. "What about Wolffe? Surely he has more control than to bite medics."
Skip hesitated. "Actually, I don't know. Everyone's got a biting story, but nobody has ever mentioned Wolffe biting. Maybe he hasn't."
"He has."
The medics turned to see General Plo Koon and Commander Wolffe in the doorway. General Plo Koon sounded amused, but Wolffe's expression was disinterested.
"Really?" Kix asked, eyeing Wolffe.
Wolffe glanced at General Plo Koon, then met Kix's eyes. "In my defense, I had a very high fever and the general looked like the raiders we'd been chasing."
"They had horns the size of your arm and gray fur," General Plo Koon said, still sounding amused.
"Like I said: fever."
Wolffe turned on his heel and marched away. General Plo Koon chuckled and followed.
Kix, Coric, and Skip stared at the empty doorway for several minutes. Coric broke into sputtering laughter, and it wasn't long before Skip joined.
"Wolffe bit a Jedi," Kix said in disbelief.
Yeah, no way was Kix going with Wolfpack on missions again. Ever.
A/N: One of Coric's skills is listed as "first aid specialist," which translates to "back-up medic" in my mind.
I will be continuing the shenanigans only Wolfpack could get into, so up next: Fives and Echo learn how Wolfpack keeps warm when the heat fails.
