trigger warnings
-mention of child abuse / training
-non healthy stress coping
-I don't own Naruto
Chapter 5 : Nine deaths, One life
Shisui leaves his bunker when he finds it empty upon returning. He quickens his steps as he descends down the hallway, hoping Sakura is alive. Shisui hears loud voices and profanities being yelled from the closed door at the end of the hall, the training room. The first thing he notices after entering is his fellow ROOT members crowded together in a circle.
Shisui breaks out in a cold sweat as he pushes aside the surrounding agents to see Sakura lying on the floor in the middle of them seemingly unconscious. Sakura's skin is as pale as the moon with her eyes shut tight. Shisui quickly kneels down to her level and presses his fingers to her pulse to reassure himself she's alive.
Shisui patiently waits to feel her pulse beat under his finger tips. The first few seconds slow considerably as Shisui waits, hearing his own heartbeat echo in his ears. If only he could transfer his own heartbeat to her. It feels like a lifetime of emptiness as he sits back on his heels waiting to feel anything, his heart begins to beat faster as a minute passes without him feeling a pulse from Sakura.
"Please.." Shisui whispers under his breath.
Shisui closes his eyes to hide the relief that rushes through him when Sakura's small and weak heartbeat pulses under his fingers. He inhales through his nose and exhales out of his mouth to calm his own heart rate as he releases a small amount of chakra onto Sakura to help her heart rate speed up to accommodate her weakened state.
The ROOT medic steps out from the crowd of other agents, "I already healed her multiple times, she refuses to open her eyes or move."
"Danzo said to have her trained by the end of the week. We can't wait for her to respond forever." Another agent says.
Shisui bites back a snarl, "Danzo also said not to kill her."
"She's not dead..yet," the agent explains.
Shisui's thoughts couldn't silence his inner voice as his eyes bleed red hidden under his bangs, 'if you kill her, her body won't be the only one that goes missing.'
Shisui is about to reply but stops when they all hear footsteps from behind them.
Danzo enters the room slowly as he waves his hand in front of him gesturing for the ROOT members to stand in a line formation. Danzo's cold and calculating eyes hide the curiosity that builds in him as he wonders what the commotion could possibly be about to bother him while he is working.
As the ROOT agents back up to stand in a line Shisui kneels down to pick up baby Sakura. Danzo silently stands in front of the members, his eyes not leaving the baby in Shisui's arms. Shisui bites his tongue until he tastes blood to stay silent as Danzo forcibly grabs the baby from his arms.
"Who's to blame for this?" Danzo asks without looking up.
The ROOT members know not to talk back as the three responsible members out of the group step forward.
Danzo looks towards Tenzo, "You deal with them, by the time I get back I don't want them to be alive."
Tenzo silently steps in front of the three convicted agents and walks out of the room knowing they will follow him to their deaths.
"I was very clear, I didn't want any retaliation and to have the baby kept alive. If I have to repeat myself again, I will be the one to punish you," Danzo commands. "And by the time I am done you will be begging for me to kill you."
The rest of the ROOT members bow, refusing to meet their leader's eyes.
Satisfied , Danzo asks, "What is wrong with her?"
The medic steps forward, "Training as usual, if not more forceful with the given goal. I healed her many times but after the most recent time she refused to respond."
Danzo looks down again at the baby in his arms. "A defense mechanism of silence. Things are turning out better than I anticipated, she's already surrendering. How appropriate," Danzo thinks aloud.
Danzo waits a moment, as if reading something in Sakura's eyes when she finally reveals her green orbs. "Her training?" He asks simply.
Another ROOT agent steps forward, "We were about to move onto the next stage, which is the blindfold. She is able to dodge all of our kunai throws even when we mask our chakra presence and hide from her line of sight."
Danzo hums as he smiles, the facial expression holds anything but happiness. It is a promise of death and despair, the smile of a joker who already knows all the cards in your possession. "Speed up her training. It does not stop outside of the training room, she needs to learn to constantly be aware no matter her location or time of day."
The ROOT members bow once more.
"You are dismissed." Danzo turns and leaves the room before Shisui can stop him to ask where he is taking Sakura.
Once Danzo leaves the room Shisui turns back to the rest of the agents, "If this happens again, you will not only face Danzo's wrath. But mine."
Danzo grabs a formula bottle and waves it in front of Sakura's face to provoke a response. The baby's green eyes blink open as she greedily grabs the bottle from his hand to drink.
"Eager aren't we?"
Danzo swallows the vile in his throat as he continues to hold her, he wants nothing more than to ignore the baby until it becomes more useful to him. Hopefully if he is around it enough the baby would learn emotions are not accepted, before it learned how to fully process her thoughts.
Danzo didn't have any use for weapons that drooled and babbled.
Danzo grabs the bottle from her small grasp to keep the baby from choking herself and sits her on top of his desk. She teters over, almost falling, but Danzo corrects her sitting position. Not without saying, "Next time I'll let you fall."
Sakura understands his tone rather than his words and sits up straighter. Danzo grabs a paper, a chart of the hiragana alphabet, and sets it in front of the baby. Sakura instead of paying attention, allows her curious eyes to look around Danzo's office. Danzo slaps the back of her hand with the wooden writing brush on his desk, leaving a red mark across her knuckles, before pointing back to the hiragana chart in front of her.
"Learn," Danzo commands.
Sakura stares at the paper in front of her for a minute before Danzo grabs his own report to begin reading. A few minutes pass before Sakura's eyes wander to the paperwork Danzo is holding. Which results in him smacking the back of her hands again, causing her knuckles to bruise and scar.
Danzo points back to the paper in front of her. "Learn," he repeats more strictly.
Sakura begins to comprehend the instruction and expectation expected of her and leans forward to better see the contents of the chart before her. Whenever Danzo is too deep in thought and not looking, Sakura's eyes wander to Danzo's paperwork, trying to read the information on his reports.
After a few hours Danzo looks up to observe the baby has been re-reading the same last few lines of the chart for the past few minutes. He is pleased; she appears to have a photographic memory to have already memorized the hiragana chart in a few hours.
"What potential you have." To prove his theory Danzo points to a random hiragana character on the chart. Sakura looks up at him, then down at the chart before understanding. She stutters the syllable before reading it aloud.
"Koこ."
Danzo raises his eyebrow at her, intrigued. He continues and points to another character on the chart, to which she responds after a moment of consideration.
"Noの."
Danzo then points to another character.
Sakura responds faster this time, "Haは."
Danzo's eyes narrow before he points to all three characters, one after the other and looks at her expectantly. Sakura looks down at the chart silently observing. Danzo repeats the action, pointing to the three characters again. When Sakura doesn't respond right away Danzo smacks the back of her hand again. Sakura leans closer to the chart, then looks back to Danzo.
Sakura's mouth opens silently before closing, as if preparing or testing the action. Then opening again to say, "Konoha."
She looks up at him seeking praise but learns quickly from the blank stare Danzo gives her, that what is expected of her will be achieved without question or seeking approval.
"Konoha?" Sakura asks.
Danzo nods, "Yes, Konoha."
Danzo uses his finger in a circular motion to gesture to everything around them, "Konoha is where we are. What we protect."
Sakura nods as if understanding. Danzo then takes the hiragana chart from Sakura and replaces it with a katakana chart. He points to the new chart and says, "Learn."
This time Sakura doesn't need to be told twice as she leans forward to study the katakana chart. "Quick learner," he says before turning his attention back to his own reports to work on.
Shisui doesn't look up when he hears the metal door of the bunker creak open but his eyes follow Kakashi enter until he also sits on his bunk and pulls out his book. Shisui knows better than to continue their conversation from earlier so he simply stays quiet and decides to pull out his ROOT/ANBU dog tag.
ROOT/ANBU dog tags were discontinued and stopped being used last year after a new law passed about the necessity of ROOT/ANBU anonymity. ROOT/ANBU agents were ordered to dispose of their personal dog tags once they were discontinued but Shisui kept his to remind him of his soul and identity. His name and the date on the tag of his entrance into ANBU/ROOT was something they couldn't take away, memories and his birth given name.
During Shisui's first year in ANBU/ROOT he wouldn' allow himself to sleep for more than a few hours every night. He couldn't trust the other agents around him and didn't trust them not to steal his eyes just because he was an Uchiha, in the middle of the night. But when he would touch the dog tag he always had on, it reminded him of who he was doing everything for. Protecting Itachi kept the fire in Shisui's soul bright, and showed him who he was. Yes. in the act of observing and protecting others, you may recognize yourself. And Shisui was learning this lesson all over again with Sakura.
Shisui pulls out his kunai and begins engraving Sakura's name onto the back side of the dog tag. Kakashi watches him inconspicuously hidden behind his book and ignores the impulse to wince everytime the metal of the kunai screeches against the metal of the dog tag.
Kakashi rhetorically asks, "Weren't we ordered to dispose of those last year?"
"Some of us need sentimentals to remind us of who we once were," Shisui says without stopping or looking up.
Kakashi doesn't look up from his book but Shisui has observed Kakashi hasn't turned the page in the last 10 minutes.
"That's going to bite you in the ass one day," Kakashi says as if Shisui isn't already aware.
Shisui nods as he continues engraving.
"It definitely will but some things are worth it," Shisui replies.
Kakashi ignores Shisui, but he finally turns the page of his book.
With the sun setting behind him, Itachi walks through the front door of his house after he gets back from training with Shisui. Leaving his shinobi sandals by the door in the front room, Itachi walks past his mother who is cooking dinner in the kitchen. It was later than usual to have dinner, but the Uchiha main family never had a strict schedule with Fugaku being the clan head. Their meals usually revolved around his schedule, but recently he was never home, spending all of his time with the other Uchiha elders.
Itachi stops before entering the hall to appreciate the smell of his mothers home cooked meal. Mikoto notices her eldest son stop to observe her and turns to smile at Itachi before turning back to her cooking.
"Sasuke is taking a short nap in the nursery. I know you're about to go check on him so I thought I'd warn you not to wake him up. He gets so grumpy when you're away training with Shisui and if you wake him up from a nap he'll only throw another tantrum," Mikoto tells her son.
"Hn." Itachi replies trying to hide his smirk from behind his bangs
"Do you need any help preparing dinner?" Itachi asks after a moment.
"No no I can handle this, thank you sweet boy. Your father wants to speak with you in his office before dinner, " Itachi's mother tried to smile, but Itachi could see the worry lines by her eyes deepen as she spoke.
Itachi turns and walks down the hall to knock on his fathers office door. He straightens his posture and only enters when his fathers voice calls him in. Fugaku watches from his office chair as his son comes to stand before him and nods in greeting.
"Sit," Fugaku gestures to the chair in front of his desk. "As you know, being the heir of the Uchiha, a lot is expected of you. I have no doubt you will exceed all expectations. It has come time for you to become part of society and join the ninja academy." Fugaku continues as his son sits across from him.
Itachi had expected this conversation and nodded to show he understands.
"You'll be starting a year early, and will also be expected to graduate early."
Itachi responds to his father with what he knows he wants to hear, "Hai otoosan, wakarimasu."
"You will set an example for the Uchiha clan as a whole while you attend the academy, you will not disappoint," Fugaku says, his voice professional and level.
"Hai otoosan, wakarimasu."
"As you start the academy your training will increase as well. Everyday I will supervise your progress. When I am not available I expect you to continue in the Uchiha training grounds," Fugaku continues.
Itachi momentarily stiffens but quickly deadpans his expression, his fathers training is ruthless. Itachi understands that it's tradition for the clan head to pass down his knowledge and skill to the heir. Itachi being undefeatable means the Uchiha clan is undefeatable. Itachi's strength and power does not represent himself, but the clan.
"Hai otoosan, wakarimasu."
Fugaku stands up, "You start at the beginning of next week. That is all Itachi. Tell your mother I will not be present at dinner tonight. I have a clan meeting to attend."
Itachi nods and leaves his fathers office without looking back. As Itachi walks back to the kitchen he peeks his head into the nursery to see Sasuke is not in his crib. He continues walking to the kitchen and to find his mother setting the table for dinner. Itachi's eyes soften when they fall onto Sasuke waiting at the table for him.
Itachi opens his mouth to relay his fathers message, when he sees his mother has only set two plates on the table. Mikoto sits down and gestures for Itachi to join her, "I didn't expect your father to join us for dinner. He's had more and more clan meetings recently."
Itachi nods not knowing how to continue the conversation politely. Mikoto notices and changes the subject, "I've sent word to Shisui about you starting the academy next week. He reassured me he would walk you back to the compound after class ends. Isn't that nice?"
"Hn," Itachi looks away from his mother to push the plate of tomatoes closer to Sasuke's reaching fingers, "What is your perspective on me starting the academy early?"
"I can't say I am happy about you becoming a shinobi at this age, but it is what is expected of the heir of the Uchiha. I'll always be worried about your safety, but as your mother I'll always support you. No matter what you decide to do in life, I will love you forever," Mikoto puts her heart on her sleeve for her oldest son to see.
Itachi looks up at his mother with adoring eyes. He's used to his fathers tunnel vision views and authoritarian guidelines, being the clan head. His mother never puts the clan's ideals before the love of her family. Something Itachi is glad was passed onto him.
Mikoto holds each of her sons hands in her own and looks into Itachi's eyes pleadingly, "You will have to protect each other. You may be Uchiha, but you are brothers first."
Itachi couldn't agree more with his mother.
Itachi waited until after he helped clean up after dinner to continue training with Shisui, he had more on his mind to work through. Training would be the perfect excuse to do just that.
Itachi hadn't meant to stay out that late training with shisui , but by the time he got home the only light that was on in the house was from his fathers office. Itachi hadn't meant to eavesdrop on his father, but his feet silently led him to the window.
Once he approached his house, Itachi crouched under his fathers office window, that was only open a sliver to allow the night breeze to cool down the obviously hot and hostile conversation within.
Itachi closed his eyes and focused on the voice talking with his father , trying to decipher who it belonged to as he listened.
"You still haven't told me why you're sharing this information with me? How could you possibly benefit from helping the Uchiha clan conduct a Coup d'état against the village ?" Fugaku asked.
Even without being present in the room, Itachi could hear the heaviness in his fathers tone. Could practically see the lifelessness in his fathers eyes.
"The hokage is weak minded and willed. When you become hokage after winning the civil war, appointing me as your right hand will benefit you and Konoha." The gravelly voice replied.
Itachi bit the inside of his cheek to will himself quiet and still. He needed to pay attention to figure out the identity of the voice, his emotions and opinions could wait.
"Trust is earned ," Itachi's fathers voice could barely be heard, Fugaku must be pacing back and forth inside his office.
Itachi heard footsteps walk up to the window and stand near the small opening of the glass, the voice becoming clearer the closer they came.
"I convinced the hokage to enroll your son, the heir, into the academy early. This proves my position is to only benefit the Uchiha and Konoha."
Itachi's eyes blinked open when heard this. He knew who the mystery voice belonged to. It was Danzo. He also knew what Danzo was telling his father was a lie. Shisui had told him during training what the hokage really wanted with his early enrollment. How him entering the academy early had been a scheme to educate Itachi and have his loyalty tied to Konaha over his clan. Itachi couldn't help but wonder , what did Danzo get out of lying about this? Besides his fathers loyalty.
"My trust and trust of the Uchiha clan as a whole are earned in different ways Danzo." Fukagku spoke up.
"One in the same. It starts with you , dear clan head." Danzo's sinister voice came off as humorous," I'd like to be invited to your next Uchiha clan meeting. I have some ideas."
The window Itachi was crouched under slid shut and the voices inside his fathers office became muffled . After a few moments Itachi gave up on his efforts of eavesdropping and ran to the nearby forest.
Itachi only stopped running when the forest stopped abruptly. Itachi leaned over to look at the sheer drop revealing a cliff.
Even though he physically stopped, his mind continued to race. The pressure grew , all but unbearable. Fears crushing his hope for peace. Smaller and smaller until all that was left was a simple belief. You can only know who you are moments before death's embrace.
"Show me," Itachi whispered as he took the final step forward, falling off the cliff's edge.
His heart stopped as his body dropped. Seconds slowed as he closed his eyes to the sensation of falling like a feather. Floating down as his thoughts were left above him on the cliff's edge.
Allowing himself to stop being aware of everything around him. To stop absorbing the frequency of chakra around him. Stop from receiving the imprint from existence .
And allowing his chakra to emit and flow freely.
To stop the awareness his mind had created as a default setting. Closing off his senses to be an absent oblivion. Instead of the constant state of standing on a bridge watching himself go by.
The serenity filled his stomach and anchored him to the moment. And Itachi let go. Let his mind ignore everything but the sound of his heartbeat thumping. The blood rushed to his head, causing his heart beat to echo in his ears.
The shadow of chains surrounding his heart lightened as he felt the air rush past him, blowing up his shirt and hair. The wind whipping against his skin , the friction causing the chains around his limbs, puppeting his movements and mind, to float away with his last hope. Finding freedom in losing all hope.
The absence of regret had Itachi's eyes curiously slip open. The image of the ground becoming a closer promise had breath escape his lips. The water below him looked almost black with the moonlight kissing the slow ripples of water. The image of his brother's similarly dark eyes filled his mind, absence of thoughts.
Sasuke.
Itachi's mind whirled into action as he pulled his kunai from his thigh holster. The shadow gripped his body once more, as it darkened his mind and covered his mouth with a shadow of a hand. He pushed the kunai into the rocks beside him, to catch himself on the side of the cliff. Using friction to slow the descent of his body. The impact will kill him if he can't use his kunai to pierce the cliff and halt his fall.
The speed of his falling figure didn't slow as the kunai connected with rock, creating an Indented line as it was dragged down the cliff's surface .
When the kunai gave way, disconnecting with the cliff , sending Itachi free falling without contact again, Itachi grabbed the other kunai from his pouch.
One look down showed he was closer to impact at the bottom of the ravine. Itachi stabbed both of his kunai into the cliff's edge beside him as he continued flying down. It wasn't enough to slow him, he was still falling downwards. Itachi kicked off , spun around, and stabbed both kunai behind him into the rock.
Itachi's legs raised with gravity's effect, the wind under him a helping hand. Bracing his arms his knuckles begin to turn white from his death-grip. The new position started slowing Itachi down , enough to brace himself for impact .
Itachi closed his eyes as the feet between him and the ground turned to inches .
The idea of Sasuke awoke a new belief, self sacrifice for peace.
Notes:
-wakarimasu: I understand
-Otoosan: father
-I hope this doesn't affect anyone negatively. You aren't alone
-if anything isn't clear feel free to ask questions , I'm a baby writer and am trying my best at my current capability
