On the Saturday morning of the Slytherin vs Hufflepuff Quidditch game it was absolutely pouring. Rachel stared up at the enchanted ceiling as she ate breakfast. She was not looking forward to flying in this. "Do those look like wind gusts to you?" she asked.

Millie tipped her head back. "Maybe. Do you think they'll cancel the game?"

"Fat chance. It would have to be deadly out there for them to cancel Quidditch," Draco said as he sat down. He looked up at the ceiling too. "Let's not be fancy. Catch the damn Snitch and get us out of there."

"How am I supposed to be able to even see the Snitch in that?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe it will get cold and try to come find you," Theo said. "We're going to need to use the Impervius charm on our cloaks otherwise we're going to get soaked in the stands."

The sound of thunder rumbled through the Great Hall. Rachel shook her head. This was ridiculous.

"Ready for this?" Imogen asked a few minutes later as she came up to Rachel.

"I suppose," Rachel said, finishing the last of her breakfast and getting up. Across the table Draco was standing up to join Adrian.

"Let's use the Impervius charm on your glasses now before they get wet. We're going to get soaked before we even make it to the changing rooms, even using the umbrella charm," Imogen said, tapping her wand to Rachel's glasses. "There, let's do this."

"Good luck!" Millie called.

"Thanks," Rachel said, pausing to wave at Millie and Theo.

Before long they were changed into their Quidditch uniforms and geared up.

"Just catch the Snitch, don't worry about what the rest of us are doing," Marcus yelled to Rachel to be heard over the wind as they staggered onto the pitch.

"Okay!" Rachel shouted back.

Marcus and Cedric shook hands and they all mounted their brooms. Madam Hooch blew the whistle and they took off.

Rachel soon lost sight of everyone, though the charm Imogen used was doing an excellent job of keeping her glasses clear. She was completely soaked and quite chilled. The sooner this game was over, the better.

It was getting darker and darker out and then a flash of lightning lit up the pitch. Rachel briefly wondered how likely someone was to be hit by lightning if they were flying on a broomstick. She had to find the Snitch.

She flew past Cedric, who was also desperately searching, but he didn't seem to be having any luck either. No wonder, it was hard to find the Snitch in normal conditions. They'd need a searchlight to find it in this.

She wondered what would happen if they just didn't find the Snitch at all. Games were supposed to last until the Snitch was found, but surely they wouldn't keep them out there all day in this storm?

Rachel felt another chill come over her body and this one didn't go away. The wind was still blowing against her, but it was quieter somehow. She shivered and looked down. Then she saw them.

Dementors were on the field below and she swore they were looking up at her.

She shivered again - she had to get out of here, now! She tried to turn her broom but nothing happened. She felt frozen in place and like the ground was getting more and more distant. She couldn't feel the rain anymore, and then she couldn't feel anything at all.


Severus watched as Rachel fell, his heart in his throat and his wand in his hand as he desperately tried to think of a spell that he could cast from this distance that would save her.

Cedric Diggory appeared, flying downward into the wind. He reached out with one arm and managed to grab Rachel around her torso, nearly falling off his own broom in the process. Imogen Thatcham flew up next to him a few moments later and they managed to balance Rachel between them.

Severus glanced down at the field below the pitch and saw that Albus had arrived - he hadn't even seen Albus leave the staff box. Albus cast the Patronus charm and the Dementors were forced away.

"We should go see to her, Severus," Poppy said.

"Yes, of course," Severus said. He couldn't get the image of Rachel helplessly falling out of his mind. He followed Poppy from the staff box and down onto the field below. He barely noticed that he was getting drenched in the cold rain.

They reached the pitch just as Diggory and Imogen reached the ground.

Albus approached as well. "See to Miss Snow. I must speak to the handlers of the Dementors," he said, his expression severe.

"I'd like to know what resolution has been reached when you're available," Severus said.

"I will come by the hospital wing when I'm done," Albus said before striding away.

Poppy had loaded Rachel onto a conjured stretcher. Severus hurried up and cast a diagnostic charm. Rachel's vital signs were stable, though her heart rate and blood pressure were both low.

"I'll get her a Reconstitution Draught and some chocolate once she's back in the hospital wing," Poppy said.

Severus cast the umbrella charm over them and held it so that it would shield both Poppy and Rachel as they made their way back to the castle.

"I don't know what Albus was thinking letting those things stay after the first time this happened," Poppy said. "I had three students in with me during the Hogsmeade weekend because they got sick after passing the Dementors to visit the village. Clearly they are not doing what they were intended to do."

Severus didn't bother to respond. He was not pleased by the Dementors' presence or by their apparent inability to keep Black out of the castle either, but he also did not have a better solution.

Once inside the castle he cast drying charms on Rachel, Poppy, and himself, and then a warming charm on Rachel. He watched patiently once they reached the hospital wing as Poppy got Rachel settled in a bed and spelled potions into her. Rachel looked marginally less pale afterward.

"I'll keep you updated on her status, Severus," Poppy said.

"I'm afraid I'll need to impose on your hospitality. I will not leave Rachel unguarded when Black was in the castle only last week," Severus said. "I know you will do everything within your power to protect your patients, but in this particular case it is necessary for me to remain present."

Poppy watched him with her lips pressed tight. "Black is after her, because of who she is, isn't he?"

Severus couldn't see the value of leaving Poppy in the dark so he nodded. "Yes. We have reliable sources suggesting she is his target."

"Then you're welcome in my hospital wing, Severus. If anyone could win in a fight against Sirius Black it would be you or Albus," Poppy said. "Let me know if you or Rachel need anything."

"I will," Severus said. He waited until Poppy had retreated into her office before he conjured an armchair next to Rachel's bed and sat down to wait for Albus.

She looked so small and vulnerable while she was unconscious and Severus was reminded of how vulnerable she'd been when she couldn't speak or cast magic. He had sworn to protect Rachel and yet it seemed like the world was conspiring against him.

His first impulse was to take Rachel off the Quidditch team, but he recognized that would not solve the problem. Quidditch was a dangerous sport, but under most circumstances she was in no more danger than any other player on the pitch. Besides, he'd yet to have Rachel argue with him or defy him on anything, but he suspected she would fight back if he tried to take her off the Quidditch team. Quidditch was one of the few things in Rachel's life that was normal for a child and he felt she desperately needed some normalcy.

Depending on what Albus came back with after speaking to the Dementors' handlers, he could suggest to Albus that they remove the Dementors entirely. They clearly weren't capable of keeping Black out of the castle and that was the only reason they were there in the first place. Maybe if they stopped thinking of Dementors as the solution they could come up with a better way to protect the castle.

"Sir? Is Rachel alright?"

Severus looked up to find Cedric Diggory, sopping wet and still in his Quidditch uniform, standing a few meters away. Severus stood up. "She will recover. I would like to thank you for your swift action today. Both Rachel and I appreciate it. Twenty points to Hufflepuff."

Diggory shook his head. "You don't have to give me points for that, sir. I was just in the right place at the right time. I saw her start to fall and I'd heard rumors that she'd gotten really ill from the Dementors on the train, and I realized she wasn't able to hold onto her broom."

"You made a conscious choice to save her, Mr. Diggory. There's no need to sell yourself short," Severus said.

"Thank you, sir. She'll be alright?" he asked.

"She'll be fine, she just needs time to recover," Severus said, aware that this information would be passed through the student body. "Mr. Diggory, I suggest you use a drying charm on yourself before you track water all through the castle. Mr. Filch would not be pleased."

"Yes, sir," Diggory said, doing so and then peering awkwardly at Rachel before leaving.

Severus sat back down and shook his head. He didn't know what Diggory's interest in Rachel was, but he was grateful that he'd saved Rachel.

It didn't take long before Millie and Theo appeared, both of them looking worried.

"Rachel will be fine, she just needs some time to recover," he said, preempting their questions.

"Good. That was awful," Millie said.

"Do you know why the Dementors affect her like this, sir?" Theo asked.

Severus was not surprised that Rachel hadn't shared that information with her friends. "Some people are simply more vulnerable to Dementors," he said, hoping that Theo would get the message.

Theo nodded, though he clearly understood there was more to it than that.

"When do you think Rachel will wake up, sir?" Millie asked.

"Likely not until late at night or early tomorrow. I wouldn't expect her to be released from the hospital wing until after breakfast tomorrow and I'm certain she knows where to find you," Severus said.

"Alright, thank you," Millie said before both she and Theo left.

Severus was glad that Rachel had found such loyal friends, even if one of them was the son of a prominent Death Eater.

Draco appeared in the entryway to the hospital wing about twenty minutes later. He was dry and out of his Quidditch uniform. "Is she awake?" he asked as he came closer.

"No," Severus said, a little bit surprised by Draco's presence. He hadn't thought Rachel and Draco were close enough to warrant Draco visiting her in the hospital wing.

"Will she be alright?" Draco asked, peering at Rachel before turning to Severus.

"Yes, she just needs some rest," Severus said.

"Good. We'd hate to have to replace our Seeker part way through the season. You are still going to let her play, aren't you?" Draco asked.

"If she still wants to play, yes," Severus said, managing to not roll his eyes at Draco's juvenile concerns.

"She will. I can't even get her to change to being a Chaser," Draco said. "Will you tell her that I saved her broom? I grabbed it after she fell. I had Imogen take it back to the girls' locker room."

"I'm sure she will appreciate that," Severus said, though Rachel's broom had been the last thing on his mind.

Draco nodded. "Oh and tell her that we'll replay the match since no one caught the Snitch."

"I will," Severus said. He glanced up as Albus entered the hospital wing. "I'm sure you have other places to be right now."

"What?" Draco asked, and then turned and saw Albus. "Yes, sir. Thank you."

They watched as Draco left the hospital wing.

"Young Mr. Malfoy was concerned for Rachel's well-being?" Albus asked.

"More concerned with her status on the Quidditch team, I believe," Severus said as he stood up. "What of the Dementors?"

"I spoke with their handlers. Apparently the Dementors could not resist the temptation of the crowd of a Quidditch game after not having fed on humans for two months. We've sorted out a rotation - Dementors will be sent back to Azkaban at regular intervals and exchanged with Dementors who have been stationed there. They've assured me that nothing like this will happen again. I informed them that I am holding them responsible for any more incursions onto the grounds when the Dementors are not in direct pursuit of Sirius Black," Albus explained.

"Do you believe that will prevent something like this from happening again?" Severus asked.

"Seeing as their jobs are on the line, I do," Albus said. "How is Rachel?"

"Unconscious, but recovering," Severus said.

"You're planning to stay with her until she's out of the hospital wing?" Albus asked.

"Yes," Severus said.

"Unfortunately that seems to be necessary. While I don't anticipate another incursion on the castle, we should be as prepared as possible," Albus said with a small nod. "I'll leave you and Rachel to rest then."

Severus nodded and waited until Albus had left the hospital wing before he sat back down.

Rachel remained still, her chest rising and falling as she breathed, and Severus settled in to watch.


It was happening again. She'd been taken to the bedroom and left there and she felt a little foggy and confused. She knew what usually happened. Usually she'd wait and a man would show up for her.

Right now though the fog and confusion was undercut with a rigid fear. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want it to happen again.

It was strangely dark, there wasn't even a table lamp like there usually was. She knew she was supposed to wait, but she couldn't. She carefully slid off the bed and crouched down on the cold floor.

"Rachel."

Rachel froze. She hadn't realized that the man was there in the dark. She didn't want this to happen.

"Rachel, what are you doing?"

Rachel pushed herself back as far as she could go and curled up into a tight ball. She could feel tears on her face and her chest and throat hurt a lot. She put her hands over her ears and pressed her face against her knees.

A hand wrapped around her wrist and Rachel tensed, ready for the man to pull her back onto the bed. Instead he pulled her hand away from her ear and held onto her arm.

"Rachel, listen to the sound of my voice. Do you know who I am?"

She listened. He sounded familiar, but sometimes it was the same man.

"Rachel, you're safe. You're at Hogwarts. Right now you're in the hospital wing. Can you look at me?"

Hogwarts. Rachel shivered. That's right, she went to school now. And she wasn't living with her relatives anymore. She peered over the tops of her knees. She could see the side of the bedside table and she could feel the frame of the bed against her back. She turned slightly and looked at the man who was holding her arm. "Severus?"

"That's right. You're safe. Can you come out of there?" he asked.

Rachel nodded and Severus let go of her arm and backed away. She carefully unwedged herself, hyper aware that the hospital gown only came to her knees, and realized she was shaking. She wiped her face on the sleeve of the hospital gown, trying to be discrete.

"Come sit on the bed," Severus said. Madam Pomfrey was behind him, her wand in hand as she watched with concern.

She sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "What happened?"

"Just a minute," Severus said. He moved his wand in what Rachel recognized was a diagnostic charm. "Your heart rate is elevated but your blood pressure is still low."

"Would you like a Calming Draught, Miss Snow?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

Rachel quickly shook her head. She didn't want anything that would cause her to feel tired or sleepy. "I'm fine."

Severus turned to Madam Pomfrey. "I think I have the situation in hand, Poppy. I'd like to speak with Rachel for a few minutes and then she can continue to rest."

"Call me if the situation changes," Madam Pomfrey said before exiting through a door, though she left the door open behind her.

"What happened?" Rachel asked again as Severus sat down in an armchair.

"Put yourself under the covers so you don't get chilled and I will tell you," he said.

Rachel reluctantly put her legs on the bed and pulled the blankets over them, and then slid her arms under as well since she was quite cold. This left her rather hunched over, which she didn't mind. She was still feeling rather shaken.

"How much do you remember?" Severus asked.

Rachel flinched before she realized what he was talking about. "There was a storm, during the game. And then the Dementors showed up."

Severus nodded. "You passed out and fell from your broom. Fortunately, Cedric Diggory was nearby and he caught you before you fell far. He and Imogen were able to safely get you to the ground."

Wow. Cedric had saved her life. "With the Dementors there?" Rachel asked.

"No, by then Albus had dispersed the Dementors using the Patronus charm. He has already spoken with their handlers and they have taken steps to ensure this will not happen again, however I would understand if you no longer wish to play Quidditch this year," he said.

"I still want to play," Rachel said immediately. "What steps? Didn't Professor Dumbledore take steps after they went on the train?"

"He did take steps to ensure the Hogwarts Express will no longer be subjected to searches. The agreement was already that the Dementors would not enter Hogwarts grounds unless in direct pursuit of Sirius Black. However, they lost control of the Dementors since they have not had a chance to feed for the past two months," Severus explained.

Rachel shuddered. That was how the Dementors fed?

"Now the Dementors will be routinely exchanged with Dementors from Azkaban to ensure they will remain under the handlers' control," he continued.

"And they just let the Dementors feed off the people in Azkaban," Rachel said, feeling sick. She had ensured that Leander went there, and now this was happening to him all the time.

"Yes. Albus has threatened the jobs of the handlers if they do not get this right. They have more than sufficient motivation to keep the Dementors off of Hogwarts grounds," Severus said.

"Can I learn the Patronus charm?" she asked.

"I can attempt to teach it to you, however I will warn you that it's a NEWT level charm that many people struggle with and many people do not put in enough practice and effort to produce a corporeal Patronus. Some people are simply not able to do so," Severus said.

"I'll put in the practice and the effort, I promise," Rachel said. She would do just about anything necessary to not have to go through this again.

"I'm sure that you will, however it is still a very advanced charm. You may not be able to succeed at your current level of magical ability," he warned.

"I still want to try," Rachel said, sitting up a little straighter. "What time is it?"

"Shortly past midnight, you've been unconscious for about thirteen hours. Are you hungry?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head. Her stomach hurt too much for her to eat right now. "Can I go back to my dorm to sleep?"

"No, Poppy isn't going to release you while your blood pressure is so low," Severus said. "Are you dizzy?"

"No, I'm not. What if we went to your quarters and I slept there? That way I'm still under your supervision," Rachel suggested.

"You feel you won't be able to sleep here, even if I'm watching over you?" he asked.

Rachel nodded. She knew Severus would protect her while she slept, but she didn't think she'd be able to sleep in a place where just anyone could come in.

"I will ask Poppy. Stay here," Severus said, standing up.

Rachel watched from her bed as Severus went to the door that Madam Pomfrey had gone through and waited. She was far enough away that she couldn't hear their conversation. She wondered how she could possibly be tired after being unconscious for almost an entire day.

Severus returned with Madam Pomfrey.

Madam Pomfrey performed a diagnostic charm and frowned over the results. "You need more rest and then you need to eat. After you eat I want you to sit still for at least an hour and then Severus needs to check your blood pressure. If it's still low after that I want you to return here. Do we have an agreement?"

"Yes, ma'am," Rachel said quickly, recognizing her ticket out of the hospital wing.

"I assure you I will bring her here at the first sign something is wrong and she will be under my supervision. May we use your floo?" Severus asked.

"Yes, that's fine," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Thank you," Rachel said as she slid out of bed. She followed Severus over to the fireplace and took a handful of floo powder out of the flower vase that he offered her. "Severus Snape's quarters."

As usual she landed on her hands and knees and she quickly got up and out of the way so that Severus could follow her. After that she did feel a little dizzy.

"Are you ready to return to bed or do you wish to eat?" Severus asked once he stepped out of the fireplace.

"Bed," Rachel said, pausing to yawn. "Though now I'm going to have nightmares for weeks again."

"Excuse me?" Severus said.

Rachel looked at Severus in confusion.

"You were having nightmares for weeks? This was after your last encounter with the Dementors?" Severus asked.

Oh. She'd forgotten that Severus didn't know about that. "Yes, but it's no big deal," she said quickly.

"We'll talk about this later. Wait here for a moment," Severus said before hurrying away. He came back with a small vial of a purple potion. "Dreamless sleep. Take it once you get in bed. Do you need anything?"

Rachel shook her head, a little embarrassed, but also somewhat grateful for the Dreamless sleep potion. She didn't particularly want to wake to nightmares again tonight, even though she didn't like the way the potion made her feel. "Thanks."

Severus nodded. "Goodnight, we'll talk in the morning."

She wasn't particularly looking forward to that. "Goodnight," she said, and then she went into her room and shut the door behind herself.

She sat down on her bed and wished her stuffed bunny wasn't back in her dorm room. She'd have to do without it for tonight. She climbed under the covers, pulled the cork out of the vial, and swallowed the potion in a quick gulp, though that didn't make it taste any better. She quickly set the potion vial aside and laid down. It didn't take long at all for her to fall to sleep, even as her body fought the sensation.


Rachel got dressed the next morning in a pair of clothes that she'd left in her wardrobe in Severus' room, though she didn't have any shoes. She was grateful that she had clothes at least, otherwise she'd still be in the hospital gown. She left that on the floor so that the House Elves would know to collect it and wash it before returning it to the hospital wing.

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked as soon as she stepped out into the main room.

"Fine," Rachel said. She felt better after getting some sleep and the Dreamless sleep potion had done its job.

"Good. Let's have breakfast and then we can talk," Severus said.

Rachel sat down at the breakfast table with a sense of foreboding. She could guess some of the questions he was going to ask her and she didn't have good answers for him. At least, she didn't have answers she thought Severus would particularly like.

A bowl of oatmeal appeared in front of her along with a small bowl of blueberries and a glass of milk. Toast, bacon, and eggs appeared for Severus and he sat down and began to eat.

Rachel's stomach still didn't feel particularly great, which she assumed was more because of her worrying about what she was going to say to Severus rather than an effect of the Dementors. She managed to finish some of the bowl of oatmeal, a few of the blueberries, and about half of the glass of milk.

"You still aren't feeling well enough to eat?" Severus asked.

"I'm just not very hungry," Rachel said, which was true enough.

"Why don't we leave the food here and you can come back to it after we talk," Severus suggested.

"Okay," Rachel agreed, though she thought she'd be less likely to want to eat after this conversation.

"Shall we go by the fireplace?" Severus asked.

Rachel nodded and went to sit in her usual spot on the couch.

Severus sat across from her in his armchair. "Last night you mentioned that you had nightmares for weeks after your first encounter with the Dementors. Do you recall how many weeks you had nightmares?"

"About six," Rachel said.

"And these nightmares woke you up at night?" he asked

"Yes."

"Were you able to go back to sleep after the nightmares?" he pressed.

"Some of the time. Sometimes I just stayed up for a while and read," Rachel said.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Severus asked.

Rachel looked down at the rug under her feet. "I didn't want to bother you with it. It wasn't a big deal."

"You would not have been bothering me. I want you to tell me if something is wrong. Did you tell Torey about the nightmares?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head.

"Why not? Torey is there to help you," he said.

"Because Torey would have wanted me to tell her what the nightmares are about," Rachel said. It was true, though it was kind of pointless now.

"Are all the nightmares about a single thing?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"Not necessarily the same thing, but they're all about the same thing," she hedged.

"About similar events that have taken place, they all fit into a theme, perhaps?" Severus asked.

"Kinda," she agreed.

"That's not surprising. Dementors prey on your worst memories and bring them to the forefront of your mind," Severus said. "I think we can expect the nightmares to continue after this exposure. Due to the addictive nature of sleeping potions, I can only offer you Dreamless sleep twice a week, and not on consecutive nights. However, I think two nights of uninterrupted sleep a week is likely better than none until the nightmares recede again."

"Thank you," Rachel said. It was better than nothing, even though she didn't like taking the potion.

"There's another thing I'd like to talk to you about," Severus said. "Last night in the hospital wing you climbed out of bed and hid between the bed and the bedside table. Do you recall if you were aware of your surroundings at the time?"

Rachel pulled her legs up on the couch with her and wrapped one of her arms around them. She felt a little better with her knees pressed up against her chest. "I was confused. I didn't realize I was at Hogwarts until you told me where I was."

"Has that happened before?" Severus asked.

"Sometimes, when I was waking from my nightmares I was confused because I thought I was still there. It takes a while for me to remember after I wake up," Rachel said, focusing her gaze on her knees. It felt too uncomfortable to look at Severus.

"You wake up believing you're at your relatives' house?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head. "No. In the room at the hotel where Uncle Vernon used to take me to."

She took a slow breath to steady herself. She'd hoped she wouldn't have to tell Severus about this, and she knew she'd have to tell Torey about it if she told Torey about her nightmares. And Severus would probably tell Torey about her nightmares, and then Torey would tell Severus why Rachel was having nightmares. So it was probably just better to tell Severus herself. At least then she'd know what he knew. She could control what she told him, because who knew what Torey would say.

"Your uncle took you to a hotel?" Severus asked.

Rachel peeked up and found Severus watching her with the expression that meant he was worried. "Will you get mad, if I tell you?"

"Not at you, no," Severus said.

"I don't want you to do anything about this," Rachel said, thinking back to how she'd inadvertently sent Leander to Azkaban. She couldn't have that happen again.

"I can't promise that, Rachel. If your uncle is possibly hurting other children, I have to do something about it," Severus said.

Rachel quickly shook her head. "He's not. It was just me. He wouldn't do anything to Dudley."

"You're certain?" he asked.

"There was no one else. And he wouldn't do this to Dudley, for a lot of reasons," she said. She was absolutely sure about that. She met Severus' gaze, willing him to understand.

Severus finally nodded. "If no one is in danger, we will leave the topic of what options are available for dealing with your relatives for a later time."

Good enough. Now that the decision was made she hesitated. She'd never tried to tell anyone about this before and she didn't want it to come out the wrong way.

"Would this be easier for you to write down?" Severus asked.

"No," Rachel said quickly. She didn't want this written down, even if she just burned it directly afterward. She supposed the beginning was as good a place as any to start. "Children are expensive. They take a lot of money to raise."

"That's not entirely inaccurate, but perhaps not as expensive as you seem to believe," Severus agreed after a long moment of silence.

Rachel nodded. "The Dursleys only had one child, Dudley. They weren't expecting to have a second child and they didn't want me, but they took me in anyway and that was a burden on them, in a lot of ways, including financially."

"If I'm not mistaken, the Dursleys were being paid a stipend from the Snow vaults for your living expenses," Severus said.

Rachel sat up straight. She could feel her heart suddenly pounding in her ears. "What?"

"In your parents' will they stipulated an account for your living expenses until you turn seventeen. You have the key, do you not?" Severus asked.

"I do. But I didn't have it before Hagrid brought me my Hogwarts letter," Rachel said.

"Albus should have arranged for a payment to be made from that account to your relatives," Severus explained.

"Should have?" Rachel asked. "Did he? Can you find out?"

"I can ask him," Severus said. "Why is it so important?"

Rachel swallowed hard. "It just is. I need to know. Will you ask him?"

"I will. Do you want me to floo call him now to see if he's available?" Severus asked.

Rachel shook her head. She didn't think she could bring herself to have this conversation again and she didn't want Professor Dumbledore to know about it. "Just, at some point. Please."

"I will," Severus said again.

She took another deep breath and tried to get herself back on track. It was probably best to just get it over with quickly before she lost her nerve entirely. "Uncle Vernon told me that children were expensive to raise. And that I had to earn my keep. So he'd take me to this hotel and I would get taken to one of the rooms, and they'd give me some medicine, and then a man would show up."

Rachel glanced at Severus and then faltered. She couldn't say the rest. "Afterward, the man would give Uncle Vernon money, and we'd drive back home. Uncle Vernon told Aunt Petunia that he'd won it at his card game. And then I'd go back to my cupboard."

Severus was quiet for a long moment. "How old were you, when he first started taking you to this hotel?" he asked, his tone almost soft.

"I had just started school, muggle school, so I was a little older than four," Rachel said.

"How long did it continue?" he asked.

"Until just before I got my Hogwarts letter," she said, looking away. Severus didn't seem angry, but it was hard to know for sure.

"Was it the same man every time?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Sometimes it was, but mostly not."

"Did your aunt know where he was taking you?" he asked.

"I don't think so. Dudley used to ask if he could go because he wanted to go somewhere special with Uncle Vernon, but Uncle Vernon told them I was serving drinks and food at their card games," Rachel said. She definitely didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I lost a full day of studying yesterday. Can I go study?"

"Do you want me to arrange a session with Torey for you? I'm certain she can see you earlier than Saturday," Severus said.

"No. I'm fine," Rachel said. She supposed that being curled up with her legs against her chest didn't actually show that she was fine, so she forced herself to put her feet back on the floor. "See?"

"It's okay not to be fine, Rachel. You don't have to be fine all of the time. You're allowed to be upset, or angry, or scared," Severus said.

Rachel shifted uncomfortably. She was fine. She just didn't want to talk anymore. "I'm okay. Really."

"If you change your mind and do want to speak with Torey sooner, let me know. I'll give you another vial of Dreamless sleep on Wednesday. I want to see you in the Great Hall for lunch, and then I want you to be down here at six for dinner," Severus said.

Seizing the opportunity, Rachel got to her feet. "Okay. I'll eat lunch in the Great Hall and I'll be here for dinner, just like usual. I'll see you later."

"Rachel, where are your shoes?" Severus asked before Rachel made it to the wall that led into Severus' office.

"In my dorm, I assume. Wherever they went after I was put in the hospital gown," Rachel said. "I'll go get my shoes now."

"Alright," Severus said.

Rachel pushed her way through the wall and into Severus' office and breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad that was over with and now she wasn't going to think about it anymore. Wrapped up in her thoughts she nearly ran into Marcus and Imogen as they left the Slytherin common room.

"Oh, I forgot, practice today, I'll be there," Rachel said.

"No, you won't," Marcus said firmly.

"What Marcus means to say is how are you and you're not going to practice today because you're still recovering from the Dementors," Imogen interpreted.

"What I mean to say is I'm not about to get a lecture and a detention for having you back on the pitch right after you fell like that. Not unless you want to go ask Professor Snape for permission to practice today," Marcus said.

Rachel shook her head. She did not want to go talk to Severus right now and she thought she probably wouldn't get permission anyway.

"How are you feeling?" Imogen asked.

"I'm fine. I just was unconscious for a while and then I slept a lot," Rachel said.

"Good. We're lucky Cedric is such a hero. Anyway, take a few days to rest and recover and you can join us for practice on Wednesday," Imogen said.

"Professor Snape is still letting you play?" Marcus asked.

"Yes," Rachel said. As long as there weren't any Dementors around, she was going to play.

"Good," Marcus said. "Try to stay out of trouble."

"Marcus, be nice to her, she almost died," Imogen complained as they walked away.

Rachel shook her head and went to go get her shoes and her bag. She needed to find her friends and get to work. She also had to find Cedric and thank him for saving her life.


Severus watched as Rachel left through the wall that led to his office. He was already thinking of the things he should have said to her. He should have reassured her somehow, or condemned her uncle and the men who had hurt her.

He exhaled heavily and released his occlumency shields when he was sure she wasn't coming back. He had started occluding once he realized what Rachel was going to tell him about. At least, he thought he'd known what she was going to tell him about.

From the beginning, from the time Rachel had started to undress in his office at the start of her first year, he had assumed it had been Petunia's husband who had been molesting her. He hadn't been prepared to hear that Vernon had been prostituting her. He'd sold his niece for money.

He'd occluded because he wanted to control his own reactions. It wouldn't do Rachel any good to see him in a fit of temper, especially not when she was telling him about trauma she'd experienced. The downside of occluding in the specific way that he had was he felt those emotions after.

Rage was a given. The urge to kill was stronger now than it had ever been while he'd been an active Death Eater. If he could find those men there wouldn't be anything left of them when he was done. Vernon was more complicated. The urge to kill him was no less strong, but he recognized that Rachel would not be comforted by knowing her uncle was dead. Still, there had to be something he could do.

After the rage came a deep guilt. If he had not revealed the prophecy to the Dark Lord, or if he had not become a Death Eater at all, or even if he had managed to pull himself out of his grief long enough to insist that Rachel not be sent to live with Petunia, all of this could have been averted.

He'd spent years grappling with his guilt after Lily died and had come to the conclusion that events could not have unfolded in any other way given the multitude of factors that had led to him becoming a Death Eater. It didn't excuse his actions, but it helped him to make sense of them. He felt that same knowledge now and knew that the guilt would ease with time, but it was still his to bear.

The sorrow he felt was not a surprise to him. Rachel's childhood had been a travesty. He had seen the effects of that first hand, first in Rachel's silence, and still in her wariness. She was still worried about making him angry or about doing anything wrong at all. He realized that he'd never seen her cry until last night in the hospital wing, when she was wiping away her tears after she realized where she was.

Rachel was his child now, just as much as she was Lily and James', and it grieved him that she still struggled so much. He had hoped that Torey would be able to help her, and he couldn't deny that she had already helped a great deal. He didn't know what else could be done to help Rachel, but it was clear something more was needed.

Severus belatedly remembered that he was supposed to have done a diagnostic charm on Rachel to check her blood pressure before he released her. Her half-eaten food was still on the dining table as well. He could also now think of a half dozen things that he should have said to her. Clearly he hadn't done a very good job at parenting today.

He would talk to her again at dinner and later today he would ask Albus whether or not Rachel's relatives had received a stipend for her care. In the meantime he would contemplate his next steps. He had a lot to think about.