Rachel knocked on Professor Lupin's office door on Tuesday afternoon. He'd sent a note to her at breakfast that morning indicating that she should drop by after her last class of the day. Rachel hoped that meant what she thought it meant.

The door opened to reveal Professor Lupin, who looked tired, but smiled when he saw her. "Rachel, come in."

"How are you, Professor Lupin?" Rachel asked politely.

"About as well as I get. How about you?" Professor Lupin asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel said. "You said you wanted to see me."

"I did. As we discussed over the Christmas break I was able to track down a boggart," Professor Lupin said.

Rachel smiled, that's exactly what she'd been hoping for. "So I can try my Patronus against it. Do you think it will help me cast a corporeal Patronus?"

"I'm not certain, I haven't read anything that supports that you're more likely to cast a corporeal Patronus in a threatening situation, but I think it's worth trying just so that you know your non-corporeal Patronus will hold off a Dementor and give you time to safely escape," Professor Lupin said. "However, this will likely be taxing on you. Are you certain you want to do this?"

"I am," she said. She wanted to know that she could defend herself against Dementors for certain. The only way to know was to try it out.

"And you feel certain that your boggart is a Dementor?" he asked.

Rachel hesitated then nodded. "I really think it will be. If it's not, I can just use the Boggart-Banishing spell."

"Why don't you take a few minutes to think of what else the boggart might become and how you might make that funny, to be prepared just in case," Professor Lupin suggested as he went back around to sit at his desk.

Rachel sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk and thought about it. She supposed if it was someone like the Dark Lord, or Sirius Black, or her uncle, she could just have them trip and fall down. She wasn't sure she was really, truly afraid of any of them though. She knew they were terrible, but they didn't give her nightmares. If she had to pick what she was really afraid of it would be having to go back to live with her relatives. She didn't know how that could become a boggart though, since it wasn't really a person or a creature.

"Let me know when you feel ready," Professor Lupin said. "There's no rush at all. And I will step in if things get out of hand, you're not on your own."

"I'm ready," Rachel said.

"You remember the incantation?" he asked.

"Riddikulus," Rachel said promptly.

"Good. I'll ask again, are you certain you want to do this?" Professor Lupin asked as he stood.

"I'm certain. I need to know that I can do this," Rachel said, standing up and pulling her wand out of her pocket.

"Alright, I can certainly understand that," he said. "The boggart is in a cupboard in a classroom on the second floor. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Rachel said.

Professor Lupin nodded and led her out of his office, down the corridor and the staircase, and to an unused classroom on the second floor. A wave of his wand turned on the lights and Rachel focused on the cupboard in the corner.

"Remember, focus on a happy memory. Let that feeling come forward as if you were experiencing the memory again now," he said. "Let me know when you're ready and I will let the boggart out."

Rachel concentrated as hard as she could, closing her eyes and trying to fully immerse herself in the memory. She was with her friends, there was a cake on the table, they were talking and laughing, they were cheering as Hermione blew out the candles. "I'm ready."

She opened her eyes in time to see Professor Lupin aim his wand at the cupboard. The doors opened and a Dementor came out. The temperature in the room began to drop.

"Expecto patronum!" Rachel shouted, looping her wand as she tried to keep the feeling of happiness and celebration and being with her friends.

A silvery mist began to fill the room and the Dementor paused on its path toward her.

Rachel took a breath. She was doing it, she was keeping it away. And then she felt it get colder.

No. "Expecto patronum!" she yelled again.

The Dementor started moving forward again and Rachel felt the hand that was holding her wand grow numb. And then nothing but darkness.


Severus was sitting in his armchair looking over fifth year essays when the flames in his fireplace turned green.

"Severus, are you there?" Poppy called.

"I'm here," Severus said, setting aside the essays and getting to his feet. "What do you need brewed?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to report to you that Rachel is in the hospital wing. She's unconscious," Poppy said.

"May I step through?" Severus asked immediately.

"Yes, of course," Poppy said.

Severus stepped through the floo and into the hospital wing. "What happened?" he asked, immediately making his way over to Rachel's bed, balking slightly when he saw Lupin standing nearby.

"Dementor exposure," Poppy said.

"How?" he demanded.

"That was my fault, actually," Lupin said calmly. "Rachel was practicing the Patronus charm against a boggart I'd acquired for her."

It took Severus a moment to make the connection - Rachel's boggart was a Dementor. He supposed that made sense, though he was a little surprised it wasn't her uncle or the Dark Lord. "And why, pray tell, would you do that?"

"Because she asked me to," Lupin said.

"And just like when we were in school you automatically do everything a Snow tells you to do?" Severus asked, his voice full of vitriol.

"It's not like that and you know it," Lupin said, standing up straighter. "And if you view her as just another Snow, I'm not sure you're an appropriate guardian for her."

"I didn't see you on the Headmaster's doorstep, offering to take her in instead of leaving her to Petunia's tender care," Severus said, resisting the temptation to draw his wand.

"You know very well that I couldn't," Lupin said. "My lack of ability to be her guardian does not mean that you have the right to take out your petty grudge against James on her."

"I do no such thing and that insinuation is insulting," Severus said. "And it's clear from the fact that Rachel is now here in the hospital wing that you have no business acting as a teacher, let alone a guardian."

"Gentlemen, the hospital wing is not the place for this," Poppy said firmly.

"Tell me what happened," Severus said, glaring at Lupin.

"Rachel wished to test her Patronus against a Dementor. Since we were reasonably certain her boggart is a Dementor, I offered to locate one for her. This afternoon I had her prepare herself in case the boggart wasn't what we expected it to be. She was able to cast the non-corporeal Patronus charm twice, but was unable to do more than slightly delay the Dementor. I was about to step in when she collapsed without warning," Lupin explained. "She was able to maintain her Patronus all the way until she lost consciousness, which is surprising."

"You can leave," Severus said, moving to cast a diagnostic charm on Rachel.

"You have my apologies, Severus. I was out of line, what I said before," Lupin said.

Severus ignored him in favor of gently brushing Rachel's hair off of her face.

"I'll come by later to check on her," Lupin said, mostly to Poppy, and then left.

"Honestly, I would have thought the two of you would be past schoolboy grudges by now," Poppy said, shaking her head. "Rachel will be fine. I think we can expect a similar recovery period as the last time she was exposed."

"Is there any concern about repeated exposures like this?" Severus asked.

"While I obviously wouldn't recommend it, there's no medical concerns you should be aware of. Small exposures cause no lasting harm, it's the long term exposure that causes problems," Poppy said. "I've already treated her with a Reconstitution Draught and some chocolate. She just needs rest."

"I think it's likely when she wakes she will insist on returning to my quarters in order to sleep. Is it alright with you if I simply take her there without waking you?" Severus asked.

"Assuming her vitals are stable, that's fine. I want you to check her again in the morning though and bring her back to me if she's still unwell," Poppy said. "You're planning to stay in the hospital wing until she wakes?"

"Yes, I need to go collect a few things and then I'll return," Severus said.

"That's fine. I'll have the House Elves send a tray with dinner for you," Poppy said.

An hour later Severus was sitting by Rachel's bedside, grading essays while he waited for Rachel to regain consciousness.

"Oh thank Merlin."

Severus looked up and found Millie and Theo standing in the doorway.

"Rachel never showed up after she was supposed to meet with Professor Lupin. We looked in the library, and the common room, and our dorm, and in the Great Hall. Then we tried your office, but you weren't there. So then we decided to check here before we went to the Headmaster," Millie explained as they approached.

"Did Professor Lupin hurt her?" Theo asked, looking down at Rachel before looking at Severus.

"No, there was an accident with a boggart," Severus explained. "Rachel will recover and should resume her usual schedule tomorrow or the day after."

"Professor Lupin let the boggart get her?" Millie asked, still sounding worried.

"It was an accident," Severus emphasized. Even though he was not feeling particularly charitable toward Lupin it wouldn't do for rumors to run around the school that he'd purposefully let the Girl-Who-Lived get hurt. "Thank you for attempting to notify me that Rachel was missing. Did you need anything else?"

"No, sir," Theo said, tugging on Millie's sleeve. "We'll let Rachel rest."

Severus watched as Theo and Millie retreated from the hospital wing and then checked his watch. It was just after six o'clock, which meant it had only been ninety minutes after the last class of the day let out. He assumed they had given her at least thirty minutes to meet with Lupin before they'd started looking for her. That meant they would have notified him within an hour of Rachel going missing.

A lot could happen in an hour, but given the size of the castle and the number of people in it, an hour was more than a reasonable time to be given notice. Severus was grateful that Rachel had such diligent friends. She would likely need them in the coming years.


It was dark again and Rachel was feeling groggy. There was a stabbing pain that she couldn't identify, but she wanted it to stop. She tried to move away but she couldn't do more than roll her head to the side.

"Rachel, open your eyes. You're at Hogwarts. You're in the hospital wing."

Rachel managed to pry her eyes open and she focused on the light coming from near the bed. "Hogwarts?" she asked, trying to put the pieces back together.

"Yes, Hogwarts. In the hospital wing."

She blinked a few times and looked at the man who was sitting next to her bed. "Severus."

"Yes, that's right. You're safe here," Severus said.

Rachel grimaced and forced herself to sit up. She immediately felt dizzy and a little sick to her stomach. "I'm fine."

"Just take it slowly. Do you remember what happened?" Severus asked.

She winced and looked at him. Surely he didn't want to know that?

"There was a boggart, with Lupin," he prompted.

Oh, that. "Right. I wanted to try my Patronus charm against a Dementor, to see if it could hold them off. It couldn't, apparently," she said, remembering the Dementor moving forward despite the silvery mist.

"Why didn't you ask me?" Severus asked.

"Professor Lupin was the one who suggested it, I didn't think of asking you, because he said he could find a boggart," Rachel said, getting the feeling she was in trouble. "I didn't know that it was something bad to do. We faced the boggart in class before."

Severus sighed. "It wasn't bad, it was just ill advised. Ideally Black would be caught and you would not face the Dementors again. Teaching you the Patronus charm was just a precaution for the off chance that the Dementors entered the grounds again. I did not intend for you to practice against one, especially considering how vulnerable you are to them."

Rachel looked away. She hated hearing how weak she was against Dementors. No one else had this problem. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, just worried. In the future, please ask me before you do something that might be dangerous. Especially if it's an unknown spell or if you're going to interact with a creature of some sort," Severus said.

Rachel nodded. She hadn't actually thought that facing the boggart would be dangerous. And it hadn't been an unknown spell, they'd been practicing the Patronus charm for months now. "Why didn't my Patronus work?"

"I'm not sure, it's possible it simply wasn't strong enough. Lupin mentioned that it was able to at least delay the Dementor, which would give you some time to get away," Severus said. "He also mentioned that you maintained the Patronus up until the point where you passed out, which means that you're doing very well at being able to maintain the emotional connection to the spell, even under the effects of a Dementor."

"That's something, at least," Rachel said. "Do you know how I can make my Patronus better?"

"The only things that I know of are practicing and selecting a stronger memory," he said.

Rachel shook her head. "I don't have any stronger memories. All I have are the times that I've spent with you and the times that I've spent with my friends. I can't use anything from before I came to Hogwarts. Even the times that were okay, they were still…" she trailed off in frustration, unable to explain how everything from her time with her relatives was just influenced by this pervasive sense of pain and helplessness.

"I understand. I'm pleased that you consider our time together to be something that makes you happy," Severus said.

"It is. And I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Everything you're doing for me. I know it's a lot," Rachel said, feeling a little bit guilty.

"You're not a burden, Rachel," he said. "I'm going to cast a diagnostic charm on you, and if everything is stable we can leave and you can spend the night in my quarters."

"Okay," Rachel agreed. "Does Madam Pomfrey have to change me into a hospital gown? Can't she just leave me in my clothes?"

"It's better for you to rest comfortably. You needn't worry about your modesty, she uses a clothes changing charm," Severus explained. "Your blood pressure is low, but that's to be expected. Do you feel well enough to floo?"

Rachel nodded and climbed out of the bed. "I can do it."

"Alright then. Would you like a vial of Dreamless sleep for tonight?" he asked.

"No. I'll see how it is tonight, maybe the nightmares won't be as bad because it was a boggart and not actually a Dementor," she said, hoping that was the case. She didn't want to go back to taking a Sleeping potion unless she had to.

"I think that's unlikely, but you can try that if you wish. However, I want you to tell me if you are having nightmares and if so you can resume taking Dreamless sleep twice a week until they stop again," Severus said.

"Okay," Rachel agreed. She could do that.


Rachel woke early on Thursday. Her nightmares were back and they were more vivid than before. "Lumos," she whispered, clutching her wand. She knelt up and pulled back the curtains on her bed part of the way so that the light wouldn't wake anyone up.

Midnight gave a small meow and a moment later jumped up onto Rachel's bed.

"Hey," Rachel whispered. "I woke you."

Midnight started purring and flopped down next to Rachel.

Rachel focused on petting the cat and the feeling of the soft fur beneath her fingers and the low rumbling sound of Midnight's purrs.

She hated this. She had been fine until she'd been exposed to the Dementors. She had understood her life. There was before Hogwarts, which she no longer had to worry about, and then there was her time at Hogwarts. Her nightmares made things from before Hogwarts seem worse than they really were at the time. And worse than that, they made her think about her life before Hogwarts.

Her brain didn't seem to understand that she didn't need to think about that anymore. Her uncle couldn't find her at Hogwarts and neither could any of the men from the hotel. The only people that were a threat to her now were Death Eaters, Sirius Black, and the Dark Lord. Surely she'd be better off worrying about them then she was remembering things she couldn't do anything about?

She waited until Midnight had fallen asleep before she reached for the book she'd left on her nightstand. She'd read the books Hermione had got her for Christmas once already, but something called her back to them. She wanted to be brave, like Alanna, even if bravery was supposed to be a Gryffindor trait.

Rachel didn't think that she was brave though. She hadn't stood up to Leander. She had run away from Lockhart when he tried to obliviate her and Hermione. She'd been utterly helpless against those Gryffindor boys in her first year. And throughout her childhood she'd just ducked her head down and tried to make it from day to day. She thought Alanna would have run off and made a life for herself somewhere else rather than stay with people like the Dursleys.

Maybe she could learn how to be brave. Her parents had obviously been brave - they'd both been Gryffindors and they'd fought against the Dark Lord. While she hoped that the Dark Lord just stayed a non-corporeal spirit, she thought he wouldn't stay that way forever. Sooner or later he'd try to get the Philosopher's Stone again. Maybe she'd be more prepared by then.

"Are you not able to sleep again?" Daphne asked several hours later.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep," Rachel said. "Did my light wake you?"

"No. Can you get Professor Snape to give you potions again?" she asked.

"I will, I just wanted to give it a day or two to see if I could manage without the potion," Rachel said, setting aside her book. She wanted a shower before breakfast started.

"There's no point in suffering needlessly," Daphne said. "My mother gets migraines and she used to go hours without getting a Headache Draught. My father would come home from work and he'd have to go floo out to the apothecary to get her one. One day he came back with a dozen of them and he told her that she didn't need to suffer just because her mother had been addicted to a Pain-Relieving potion. I'm sure Professor Snape would never let you take anything that would cause you problems."

Rachel nodded. "Professor Snape did say that sleep potions could be addictive and that's why I can only have it twice a week."

"Well there you go. Sleeping well twice a week is better than not sleeping well at all," Daphne said as she gathered things from her wardrobe. "I'm going to go shower before the fourth years take up all the stalls."

"I'll be right there," Rachel said, moving gently to avoid disturbing Midnight.

Once she started her classes she temporarily forgot all about her nightmares. They had Arithmancy first, where they were using more complicated equations to determine a person's affinities to different spells.

In History of Magic Professor Binns gave another long lecture on the International Statute of Secrecy. It was interesting to learn about how before the Statute there had been magic almost everywhere and it had just been an accepted part of life. The Statute itself was more than just a law, it was a piece of magic that had retroactively removed most references to magic from literature, music, laws, and history.

After lunch they went out on the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures, all of them bundled up in their winter cloaks and with scarves, hats, and gloves.

"I've got a treat for you today," Hagrid called, beckoning them closer.

There was a large bonfire about twenty meters from Hagrid's house and the whole class gathered around, grateful for the warmth.

"These are Fire Dwelling Salamanders," Hagrid explained. "Take a close look in the flames."

Looking more closely Rachel saw that there were little creatures climbing around on the logs, though they were hard to distinguish from the flames. They had six legs and seemed very happy to be in the fire.

"What can you all tell me about Salamanders?" Hagrid asked.

Hermione and Padma both put up their hands.

"Hermione, what do you know?" Hagrid asked.

"Fire Dwelling Salamanders are born in salamander fires and will live as long as the flames burn, though they can survive outside of the fire for up to six hours if they are fed pepper. There are both blue and scarlet salamanders, the color depending on the heat of the fire," Hermione explained.

"Excellent, five points to Gryffindor. Padma, you had your hand up. Can you tell us about what the salamanders are used for?" Hagrid asked.

The Ravenclaw girl smiled. "Yes, salamander blood has regenerative and curative properties and is used in a number of medicinal potions."

"That's right, five points to Ravenclaw," Hagrid said, beaming at them. "Today I want you to help gather dry wood and leaves to keep the fire going. Do not go in the Forbidden Forest, stay on the outskirts. While you're at it, take a close look at the salamanders and notice how they move with six legs and how their skin is segmented. Go on, get to it."

The class was enjoyable as they took a break from the fire to gather leaves and wood and then came back to get warm again and watch the salamanders.

"How are you doing, Rachel?" Hagrid asked when Rachel stepped away from the bonfire after spending some time observing the salamanders.

Rachel smiled as best she could. "I'm okay, Hagrid."

"Staying out of trouble?" he asked.

Rachel thought back to the fiasco with the boggart. "Doing my best."

"I know you are. You're doing fine," Hagrid said, patting her on the back with enough force to knock her off balance. "You just keep doing what you're doing. I know you're studying hard and I see you out practicing Quidditch too."

Rachel nodded. "It's good to be busy."

"It can be, but it's good to take a break now and then too. You and your friends," Hagrid said. "Hey, don't touch the salamanders, they'll burn you!"

Rachel turned in time to see Crabbe and Goyle backing away from the fire.

Hagrid shook his head. "Didn't think I'd have to tell third years not to stick their hands in a fire."

Rachel smiled, more easily this time. "Don't worry about it too much. Professor Snape says that some students just don't have much common sense."

Hagrid chucked. "That they don't. It's good that you have a good head on your shoulders. Go on then."

She went back out to collect more wood for the salamanders, feeling a little more at ease than when she'd arrived at class.


"Rennervate," Severus said quietly, pointing his wand at the unconscious man who he had stunned and side-apparated with him.

"What the-"

"You will not speak unless I tell you to," Severus said, holding his wand against the man's temple while looking into his eyes. "Repeat what I said."

"You will not speak unless I tell you to," the man repeated, still looking frightened.

"Good enough," Severus said. He adjusted his shirt, which was slightly too tight in the body he was in. Polyjuice was an exact science. Tailoring charms were not.

He slipped his wand into his pocket and walked around the side of the Surrey Police Station Headquarters and through the front doors. He walked up to the front desk. "I am Detective Inspector Samuel Smith, with the Home Office. I have a suspect that I needs to be questioned with the assistance of the Detective Inspector in charge of sex crimes in your division."

"May I see your warrant card?" the woman at the front desk asked.

Severus pulled out a piece of parchment and his wand, tapping his wand against it. He hadn't been able to get enough information to know what documentation he'd need, so he instead silently used a spell that would allow the viewer to see whatever they would expect to see.

"Very good, sir. I'll call Detective Inspector Walker. In the meantime Constable Jones can escort you and your suspect to a questioning room," the woman said, picking up a phone.

Severus waited for a moment as he tucked his wand away and felt the hip flask in his pocket. He still had about forty minutes on this dose and he carried three more hours worth with him, just in case.

"This way, Detective Inspector," a young woman in uniform said as she approached them. She led them through a set of double doors and down a hallway.

Severus kept track of where they were going, his grip firm on the man's upper arm as he escorted him along. The compulsion spell he'd placed on the man should keep him from running, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"Here you go, sir. Detective Inspect Walker should be along in a few minutes," the woman said, leaving them inside a small room.

"Sit and stay," Severus said, dropping the man into one of the chairs in front of a table.

He folded his arms and waited. He wasn't certain how much faith he had in the muggle justice system, but he had decided to try working this way before taking more drastic steps. Although part of him would have been satisfied to simply kill all the men involved in the child prostitution ring and be done with it, a larger part of him wanted to see them suffer. But even more than that, he wanted them to not be able to hurt any child, ever again.

A tall man with blond hair stepped into the room and held out his hand. "Detective Inspector Timothy Walker, sex crimes."

"Detective Inspector Samuel Smith, with the Home Office," Severus said, shaking the man's hand and hoping that 'Home Office' was broad enough to cover what he purported to do.

"Call me Tim. Let's step into the hallway for a moment and you can tell me what is going on," the man said, motioning toward the door. "What have we got?" Tim asked once the door was shut.

"A man responsible for the day to day operations in a child prostitution ring," Severus said, not bothering to waste words.

Tim gave a low whistle. "How'd you get him?"

"A child victim identified him, though the child is not willing to do more than that," Severus explained.

"And the parents?" Tim asked. "Are they in the picture?"

"The parents are unwilling to force the child to provide testimony," Severus said. "However, I took him from their base of operations so that we can question him. I believe he will be forthcoming."

"What sort of plea bargain did you offer him?" Tim asked.

"Minimal sentencing for his offenses when we've corroborated the other people he's turned in," Severus said, making his best guess based on the little he knew of law enforcement.

"Do we know who the ringleader is?"

"No, but I suspect he will tell us," Severus said.

"Not if he wants to live, he won't. But if we can get the rest, maybe one of them will be stupid enough to say. Anything I should know about this guy?" Tim asked.

"No, but I'd like to participate in the questioning," Severus said. "He's in your jurisdiction, but there are questions I'd like to ask."

"That's fine. Let me take the lead and I'll let you ask whatever you want," Tim said. "I've got a tape recorder and a notepad. Are we ready?"

"Yes," Severus said, bracing himself.

"Let's do it then," Tim said, opening the door.

They took seats opposite of the man and Tim set up his tape recorder. "Let's get things out of the way, are you asking for a duty solicitor?"

"Answer him when he asks you a question," Severus directed.

"Are you asking for a duty solicitor?" Tim repeated.

"No," the man said.

"Then be aware that you can ask for one at any time. What's your full name?" Tim asked.

"Adam Wells."

"Date of birth and address," Tim asked.

"March 18, 1962. 8 Sains Road, Surrey."

"The Detective Inspector has some questions he'd like to ask you," Tim said, nodding to Severus.

"Describe your involvement in the child prostitution ring that you help operate," Severus said, his hand resting on his wand as he looked into the man's eyes.

"I take the kids to their rooms and bring them back when the client is done. I take the clients' money, cash only. I arrange the rooms at the Twin Willows Hotel and give the clients their keys. I answer the phone and make appointments," Wells said.

"Where do these kids come from?" Tim asked.

"Lots of places. Some are brought by their parents or their caretakers. Some are foster kids. I don't know about others. Someone brings them," Wells said. "John takes care of that."

"John who?" Tim pressed.

"John Faber," Wells said.

Severus pushed the notepad and pen over to Wells. "Write down a list of every client name that you recall along with descriptions of any identifying features."

"While you're doing that, we're going to go talk about your plea bargain. That's if all of this checks out," Tim said, standing up.

Severus left the room with Tim.

"We've got a live one alright," Tim said. "When we're done with him I'm going to set up a sting on the Twin Willows Hotel, I'll also have my guys run a search on the database for John Faber and see what we can pull up."

"Do you believe you'll be able to charge him?" Severus asked. If not, he was going to have to radically alter his plans.

"This guy, hell yes. Minimum sentencing alone is going to put this guy away for fifteen years. After he finishes with the list of names we'll have him write a full confession. If John Faber is the ringleader and we can get solid evidence, we can put him away for life," Tim said. "Like you said, this is in my jurisdiction, but I'm assuming you want to be kept informed of the developments."

"I do. And I would like to be included in the questioning of John Faber and whatever of the clients you can bring in. I'm not often at the Home Office, I travel a great deal, but if you write to my assistant I can be here within a day. I will provide you with the address," Severus said.

"We can do that," Tim said. "Something has got this guy singing like a canary and we're going to take advantage of it before he decides to ask for a solicitor."

"And the parents and the other people who are bringing the children to this man?" Severus asked.

"That's a little harder, but we'll do what we can," Tim said. "Ready to go back in there and get a full confession?"

"Yes, I'm ready," Severus said. This would have to do.


"How was your week?" Torey asked once they were both seated.

Rachel sighed. "I made a mistake."

"What sort of mistake?"

"I didn't realize it was a bad thing to do, or I wouldn't have done it," Rachel said.

"I know you wouldn't. Most of the time when people make mistakes they aren't intending to do something bad, they just aren't thinking through to the consequences of their actions," Torey said.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly it. I thought it would be okay, because I thought my Patronus could hold off the Dementor. If it had everything would have been fine and Severus wouldn't have even needed to know it happened."

"You sought out a Dementor?" Torey asked, looking worried.

"Not a real one," Rachel said quickly. "Our Defense instructor, Professor Lupin, suggested that I could try against a boggart, since a boggart becomes a Dementor for me. And so he found one and at first my Patronus seemed to work, but it just kept getting colder and colder. And so I tried casting it again and that's when the Dementor moved toward me. And then I woke up in the hospital wing."

"And your Defense instructor was supervising you while you did this?" Torey asked.

"Yes, which is why I thought it was okay, and I didn't tell Severus about it because I didn't realize I was supposed to," Rachel explained.

"I can see that," Torey said. "Is Severus upset with you?"

"He says he's not, but I kind of feel like he is," Rachel said.

"Has he said anything or done anything that suggests he's upset with you?"

"No, he just told me that I should talk to him before I do something that's potentially dangerous. I didn't think this was potentially dangerous. It was just a boggart," Rachel said.

"A boggart you knew was going to turn into a Dementor, when you know that you become ill when you're exposed to Dementors," Torey pointed out. "Though I understand why you felt having one professor present was enough to mitigate the dangers. Next time you're in a similar situation, I want you to think of not only what is likely to happen, but what the worst case scenario is. If the worst case scenario causes you or someone else harm, that's when you should check with Severus before you act."

Rachel thought about it. "So the worst case scenario being that my Patronus charm didn't work and I collapsed from the Dementor. Since there was a possibility of that happening, I should have told Severus first?"

"Exactly. Or, say you want to brew a potion outside of class. Look at the instructions and the ingredients and ask yourself what might go wrong and what the consequences would be. If the potion is fairly straightforward, the consequence for an accident might be you have to clean up a mess. If there are more dangerous ingredients involved, the consequences might be that you get sick or hurt. In that case you'd want to talk about it to Severus first," Torey explained.

Rachel nodded. "We're not even allowed to brew potions outside of class at all."

"That's probably a good policy," Torey said. "How have the after-effects of being exposed to the Dementor been?"

"Nightmares," Rachel said, looking away. "It's weird because before I was exposed to the Dementors these memories weren't really clear at all, they just kind of blurred together for the most part. Now they're clear. I can remember people's faces and everything."

"It's possible that the exposure to the Dementors has helped you remember things that you didn't remember before, as they bring your worst memories to the forefront of your mind. The memories may not have been clear before because some of them happened when you were very young, and you were being drugged at the time," Torey said.

Rachel shrugged. "It's hard to talk about it. I don't like thinking about it, but it's hard not to think about it in the days after being exposed to a Dementor. I know it gets easier after a while, but it's hard in the morning after I wake up."

"That's understandable. Painful experiences are often difficult to talk about. It's painful to remember people hurting you."

Rachel shrugged again. "Severus has changed since I told him about where my uncle would take me."

"Changed how?" Torey asked.

"I think he worries about me more. He's kind of overprotective. He checks in with me after class sometimes and asks if I'm doing alright or if I need anything. When we're in class I just want him to treat me like he would any other student," Rachel said.

"I can understand wanting to be treated like any other student in class," Torey said. "I think Severus cares about you and wants to be certain that you're safe. Imagine if one of your friends told you that this had happened to them. What would you feel?"

Rachel's mind immediately went to Theo. "I'd be worried. And I'd be sad and upset. I'd want to protect them and keep them away from the person who was doing that to them."

"I think that's likely how Severus feels too, about you," Torey said.

"I didn't mean to worry him, I didn't think he would be this upset about it," Rachel said. "I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I don't like how I feel when I remember these things."

"One way to help with that is talking about it and learning to understand how you feel," Torey said.

"I know how I feel," Rachel said.

"How?"

Rachel found herself biting her lip as she tried to figure out how to explain it. It was a yucky churning feeling in her stomach and a creeping feeling of wrongness that settled over her skin. "I don't know how to say it," she finally said.

"That's okay, we can work on that," Torey said.

Rachel nodded and tried to will the feeling to go away. She hated talking about this.