Their end of year exams started the second week of June. Their last three weeks in classes had mostly been revision, with the exceptions of Potions and History of Magic. Professor Snape continued having them brew new potions up until exam week and Professor Binns hardly seemed aware that exams were rapidly approaching.
They started with Herbology, where they wrote a short essay on the care and uses of Valerian. Rachel made note of the specific potions which used Valerian for its different effects of the sprigs and the roots and was glad she'd taken the time to memorize them. For the practical portion of the exam they had to harvest Stinksap. Rachel had to swallow several times to encourage her uneasy stomach to get used to the smell and working across from her, Millie looked rather green.
After lunch on Monday they had their Charms exam. There was a short answer written portion and then a practical portion. They demonstrated the Freezing spell, the Banishing charm, and then paired up to demonstrate Cheering charms. Rachel felt a little bit giddy after Neville cast the Cheering charm on her - it was a somewhat nice feeling, but it was a little odd. Ron Weasley had to leave the room in a fit of laughter after Seamus seemingly put a little too much into his casting of the charm.
That evening they focused on revising Arithmancy and it was fortunate that they did. On Tuesday morning their Arithmancy exam was entirely written and focused primarily on the different equations for numerology. Rachel barely managed to finish in time and she saw by the way many people were still desperately writing when Professor Vector called time that she wasn't the only one.
After lunch was their History of Magic exam, which was composed of two essays, one on witch hunts and one on the International Statute of Secrecy. Rachel consistently felt like this was the class she was least prepared for. There were so many facts and dates to keep straight and it seemed almost impossible to review everything they'd learned in a year. She left the class feeling like she could have done better, but not sure what she could change in the way that she studied. At least she only had to take it for two more years and then she could drop the class entirely.
That night, at midnight, they had their Astronomy exam. This was less stressful than the History of Magic exam as it was more applied and Hermione had come up with little rhymes for remembering sequences of names. Rachel finished her star chart early and spent some time just quietly gazing through her telescope.
On Wednesday they had a free morning, which they spent in their study room cramming for their Potions exam. This was the class where Rachel felt both the most competent and the most pressure to succeed. She especially wanted to be perfect right now. She still hadn't figured out how to make things better with Severus, but she definitely didn't want to make things worse by doing poorly on his exam.
She gave a sigh of relief when she saw the assigned potion that afternoon. The Confusing Concoction was not the most difficult potion they'd brewed that year. She spent the class period measuring petals of sneezewort, chopping scurvy grass, and carefully watching the clock to make sure she added and stirred at exactly right times. Severus nodded to her as she handed in her sample and Rachel knew him well enough by now to know that he was pleased with her work.
Thursday morning was their Ancient Runes exam. They translated some runes, drew the numerical runes, and then translated some phrases. It was one of the easier exams they had so far this year and Rachel spent the remainder of the class worrying about what they were going to do about their OWLs. They had two years before they had to take them, but Rachel already felt under-prepared.
In the afternoon they went outside for their Care of Magical Creatures exam. There was a small pile of assorted items, most of them disused or worn out, and Hagrid gave each student a few Knuts and told them to pick one of the items and barter with one of the kobolds that he'd arranged to have come visit as he'd given each kobold some special coins. Rachel wondered if Hagrid knew that exams were supposed to cover things they'd already done in class. Fortunately she'd read about kobolds over the Easter holiday when she spent some time reading all of The Monster Book of Monsters.
She picked up a tattered glove and went and knelt down next to one of the kobolds. "Hello, what's your name? Mine is Rachel."
"Eli," the kobold said and then resumed smoking its pipe.
Rachel slid the glove on her hand and flexed it. "I have quite a nice glove, but it's too big for me, see? Do you happen to have a smaller glove? Your hands are small like mine, Eli."
"I have no gloves, not even one," Eli said.
"Oh, I didn't realize," Rachel said, pulling the glove off her hand. "I must offer it to you then, for having one glove is better than none, even if it is too big."
Eli accepted the glove and pulled it on his hand. It was far too big for him.
"Would you like me to shrink it for you, so it fits better?" Rachel asked.
"I've already accepted this gift from you," Eli said.
"I don't mind at all," Rachel said, pulling out her wand and carefully pointing it at the glove. "Reducio."
She kept her wand steady until the glove was about the right size. "I should also see if I can make it look a little better, as it's fraying at the seam. Reparo," Rachel said, pointing her wand again.
"What do you want in return?" Eli asked.
"I was hoping I could buy a special coin from you. I only have eleven Knuts. Will that be enough?" Rachel asked.
"Ten Knuts, is what the coin costs," Eli said, pulling a golden coin out of his pocket.
"Ten Knuts, and one for good parting," Rachel said, counting out the Knuts into Eli's hand. "Thank you very much."
Eli bowed his head. "And you. Good parting."
Rachel got back to her feet and brought the coin over to Hagrid.
"Well done, Rachel. I should have known that you'd be the first," Hagrid said, smiling down at her as he made a mark on his clipboard.
"You never taught about kobolds in class though," Rachel pointed out.
"Nah, I couldn't get them to come until now. Figured it's a good way to sort out who's taking the class seriously," Hagrid said as Hermione approached holding a golden coin. "There you go, Hermione."
It wasn't long before the rest of the study group joined them, along with Padma and Lisa, and they sat together and watched as their classmates attempted to haggle with the kobolds.
On Friday morning they had their Transfiguration exam. This was one of their tougher exams, both in the written section and in the practical. Rachel spent quite a bit of time fussing over her turtle, which she'd made from a teapot. It wasn't until the end of the exam that she finally got the floral pattern of the teapot to fade away and it looked more or less like a normal turtle.
They were surprised when Professor Lupin took them outside for their exam on Friday afternoon. He had set up an obstacle course on the lawn for them. They waded across a pool with a grindylow, wound their way around potholes filled with Red Caps, ignored a hinkypunk while going through a marshy area, and then reached a trunk at the end.
"I'll warn you now, Rachel," Professor Lupin said once Rachel had made her way through the swamp to where he was standing next to an old trunk. "There's a boggart down there. I'll completely understand if you don't wish to go in."
Rachel paused. Severus had been planning to get her a boggart to see if her Patronus charm worked against the Dementors, but that hadn't happened yet. She was sure he wouldn't want her to go in there with a boggart. And she'd just finished promising him that she'd think through things before she acted.
"Can I wait until everyone has completed the exam and have you go in there with me? That way if my Patronus doesn't work, you can stop the Dementor before it causes me to pass out?" Rachel asked, deciding that was a good compromise.
"That would be fine," Professor Lupin said. "Why don't you wait here with me."
One by one Rachel's classmates went into the trunk and came back out again. Neville looked a little bit grim when he was done and came to stand with Rachel. "I hate boggarts," he said quietly.
Rachel nodded and put her hand on Neville's shoulder. It couldn't have been easy seeing the woman who had tortured his parents, even if it was only a boggart of her.
Hermione also looked unhappy when she emerged from the trunk, but she didn't say what she'd seen.
It wasn't long before Millie and Theo joined them and they waited as Professor Lupin waded into the swamp to guide Ron Weasley out from where he'd been misdirected by a hinkypunk.
"Are you certain you wish to do this, Rachel?" Professor Lupin asked again once Ron had a turn with the boggart.
Rachel hesitated again. She did want to know if her Patronus would work against a Dementor. But Severus had told her to wait for him. On the other hand, Professor Lupin was here. And it was an exam. But she'd just finished promising Severus that she'd do better. She could only imagine his expression if she wound up in the hospital wing again. "I'm not. Professor Snape told me to wait for him before I tried my Patronus on a boggart again. But it's part of the exam, so shouldn't I do it?"
"I think you should listen to Professor Snape if he asked you not to seek out a boggart without him. How about this: write a two foot essay on boggarts and bring it to me on Monday morning and I will grade that for this portion of the exam," Professor Lupin offered.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it," Rachel said, relieved that she could still pass her exam and keep her word to Severus. She was sure Severus would appreciate it too.
Severus found the letter in the muggle envelope waiting for him when he arrived in his quarters after classes on Friday. Many years ago he'd directed the House Elves to intercept his mail and deliver it to his quarters rather than receiving it at the staff table in the Great Hall. Some people were far too nosy for their own good.
He opened it, thinking that he was going to have to cancel his dinner plans with Rachel if Tim needed him to come to Surrey tonight. He had already rescheduled once - they were having dinner tonight instead of on Sunday because there was a private staff dinner with several members of the Ministry who oversaw education initiatives.
'Detective Inspector Samuel Smith,
I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to give you an update on the case now that we've got some things sorted out.
John Faber, Adam Wells, and two of their associates are being held in a detention facility until their trials. We expect their trials to take place in late spring next year. We expect they'll be easy wins - we've got their confessions, which they've tried to walk back, and ample evidence.
We scored a hit using the facial recognition software with the product books. Thirty seven kids were being used in a network of care homes. They've been removed from those homes and we've arrested ten of the caregivers. We have a pretty good case there too, since we have the kids to give testimony. We've started using the facial recognition software with school photos but that will take longer. Our people in the tech department says if we go through every school photo we've got from Surrey it will take well into the autumn to finish. It should yield some results - one of our analysts estimates we'll find another twenty to thirty kids that way.
The client numbers aren't as good. We've got seventy eight of them in custody. The rest either split or are dead ends. Unfortunately Faber never met most of the clients face to face and Wells has given us everything he remembers while trying to cut a deal. I've put the alias' on the Home Office watch list, so it's possible we'll find some of them later when they use the alias again.
You've got my number, so let me know if you need anything or if you have another lead.
Detective Inspector Timothy Walker'
Severus took the letter to his armchair and sank down. This had not turned out as well as he had hoped. It would take a year before Faber and Wells saw trial? They had captured just over ten percent of the clients? The muggle justice system seemed hopelessly behind and inept. If aurors had questioned them, they could have used Veritaserum and legilimency to get more information. In the wizarding world, these men would have already been caught and sentenced to Azkaban.
There wasn't much more he could do. He could ask to question Wells again and use legilimency on him, but faces without names wouldn't do any of them a lot of good. And he suspected there was a limit to how much magic he could do around Tim before he became suspicious.
He tried to console himself with the fact that some of the children had been found and moved to safety, and Tim seemed hopeful that their process would lead to them rescuing more children. And the men running the operation were in prison, which was surely better than if they had been allowed to continue what they were doing. He had accomplished something, even if it was not what he'd been hoping to do.
Severus stood and went to change into fresh robes and he made a decision. He needed to tell Rachel that at least some of the men responsible for what happened to her were in prison. That might give her some small measure of comfort.
After changing and collecting a stack of second year essays, the last assignment for the year, Severus sat in his chair again and began grading while he waited for Rachel to arrive.
A little over an hour later he heard his office door open and close and he set aside the essays. Rachel stepped through the wall and smiled a little when she saw him looking at her.
"It's weird to do this on a Friday," she said.
Severus nodded. "We have a staff dinner with some Ministry officials on Sunday night."
"Sounds fun?" she asked, sounding uncertain.
"Probably not," Severus said. He hated formal dinners, particularly ones where he would wind up defending his teaching methods and curriculum. "Have a seat, we need to talk about something."
Rachel immediately looked worried. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. Sit down and we can talk," Severus said, noticing how nervous Rachel seemed. She'd seemed nervous for a few weeks now, more so than exams could account for. He suspected that being kidnapped had frightened her more than she wished to admit.
Rachel sat and began fiddling with the hem of her skirt. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you're not in trouble. There's just something I wish to tell you about," he said, searching for the best way to begin. "I have been working with a member of the muggle police to do something about the organization your uncle was involved with."
"What?" Rachel asked. "The drill company? Why?"
"No, the organization where he was taking you, the ones responsible for trafficking children," Severus clarified. "The men running the organization and their associates are in police custody and will face trial next year. The detective seemed reasonably sure they will remain in prison. They've also rescued a number of children and hope to rescue more. They had less luck with the clients, but they've captured a fair number of them as well," he explained.
Rachel had wrapped her arms against her chest like she was hugging herself. "You did this?" she asked, her voice quiet.
"I initiated the investigation and attended the questioning of two of the men who ran the organization," Severus said. "I know that it would be better if we could be certain that all of the men who hurt you had been captured, but this likely will lead to prison time for some of them."
Rachel remained quiet, her shoulders now hunched up near her ears.
"Would you reconsider reporting your uncle to the muggle police?" Severus asked. That at least was something concrete they could do to stop someone who had hurt her.
"No," Rachel said, shaking her head. She got to her feet. "You can't protect me, Severus. You can't protect me from things that have already happened."
"Rachel," Severus said, though her words had felt like a punch to the chest. The truly painful part was that she was right.
"No," she said again. "I need to go."
"Stay for dinner, at least. We don't have to talk about this right now," he said, standing up.
"I don't want to talk about this ever," Rachel said. "If I eat right now I'm going to throw up."
"Do you want a Stomach soothing potion?" he asked.
"No," Rachel said firmly.
Severus recognized the way Rachel was standing and the way her eyes darted from side to side. She was desperate to escape and he worried that keeping her here was only going to make it worse. "At least return to your common room or to your dorm. I don't want you wandering the castle while you're upset," he said.
"Okay," Rachel agreed before fleeing through the wall. His office door slammed shut a moment later.
Severus sighed and sat back down. That had gone more poorly than he had anticipated.
Rachel sat in Torey's waiting room, her shoulders hunched, her arms folded, and she stared down at her feet. She had barely spoken to Severus since last night. She didn't know what to say and she was scared anything she did say was just going to wind up with him talking about stuff again.
She could sense him glancing at her every now and then, but she kept her gaze steadfastly turned down. She felt weird. She had felt weird ever since their conversation last night. Millie had even asked her if she was okay, so she was probably acting weird too. But she didn't know how to make it stop.
The door to Torey's office opened and Torey peered out. "Rachel, sorry to keep you waiting. Come on back."
Rachel got to her feet and walked into Torey's office without looking back. Once inside she sunk down onto the couch and immediately pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.
Torey sat down in her chair and looked at Rachel. "You look like you might be having a hard time right now. Is that right, or am I reading things wrong?" she asked.
"Yes, but I don't know why. Not really," Rachel said, pausing to chew on her lip. "I know what caused it, but I don't know why I'm so upset."
"Well, let's start with what seemed to cause it and maybe we can figure out what part is upsetting you," Torey said.
"All of it is upsetting me," Rachel said. "Have you told Severus about the stuff I've told you about, about where my uncle was taking me?"
"No, I haven't. I don't talk to Severus about what you tell me in here unless I have your permission and we've discussed it first, or if I'm worried that you are going to be hurt or that you will hurt someone else," Torey explained. "Has Severus said something to you that caused you to think that I told him about something?"
Rachel frowned. She'd been up late trying to figure this out and she still didn't have an answer. "I didn't exactly think that you had, because I haven't told you those sort of details either. But Severus said he can't use legilimency on me and I didn't tell him either. So I don't know how he knew stuff to do what he did."
"Let's back up a little bit. What did Severus say or do?" Torey asked.
"He...I don't know exactly." Rachel bowed her head as she tried to get it straight. "He went to the police and somehow got them to arrest people. He said that the men who were running the organization were there, they were arrested and they would go to trial. And that some kids were rescued. And that some of the men who were doing stuff were also arrested, but not many of them."
Torey was quiet for a moment. "And I'm guessing that you didn't tell him who those men were or how to find them."
Rachel shook her head. "I didn't tell him anything. And you said you didn't either."
"You haven't told me any identifying information, so no, I couldn't have, nor would I have without your permission," Torey said.
"And he told me a while ago that I'm a natural occlumens. He couldn't have just seen the information in my mind," Rachel said.
"Did you ask Severus how he knew how to identify these people?" Torey asked.
Rachel shook her head. "I didn't think to ask at the time. And I kind of got upset and left when he asked me again about reporting my uncle to the muggle police. I don't know why I'm so upset, but I still am."
"I think it's perfectly understandable that you're upset for a number of reasons. This is a difficult subject for you to talk about. It's difficult for anyone to talk about trauma. I'm guessing that Severus was the one who started this conversation and not you," Torey said.
Rachel nodded. "He just said that we needed to talk."
"So you weren't really prepared for the conversation and it wasn't within your control. And Severus revealed that he'd acted on this without letting you know and without your permission. And then he asked you about reporting your uncle, which you've told him that you don't want to do," Torey continued.
"I want him to stop asking me to do that. I know he wants me to, but I can't. I just can't," Rachel said. Her throat was hurting now and she was getting that prickling feeling around her eyes that meant she was probably going to cry soon if she didn't get herself under control.
"Would you like me to ask him not to ask you about that unless you bring it up first?" Torey offered.
Rachel nodded. "I don't know how to tell him that and have him listen to me."
"Okay, that's something I can do," Torey said.
"Why am I so upset?" Rachel asked, rubbing at her throat.
"Can we get more specific than upset? Is there an emotion you can identify that you're feeling?" Torey asked.
Rachel thought about it and was a little surprised with her conclusion. "Angry. But I don't want to be angry at Severus."
"I think anger is a natural emotion here," Torey said. "Severus did something you didn't want him to do and he did it without telling you about it first. It's okay to feel angry at people, even people that you care about. The anger doesn't last forever and we can help you find a way to explain to Severus why this hurt you. Do you notice any other emotions that you're feeling?"
"Scared," Rachel said. "Scared that Severus is going to bring it up again. And scared that people are going to find out. Did you see that the newspaper wrote about me again? Just because of the stuff with Sirius Black. What would they do if they found out this?"
"I can understand why those things would be scary. We can find a better way for Severus to communicate with you about this, one that doesn't involve him surprising you with it and that gives you more control. As for the newspaper, I can understand why that would worry you too. Did Severus say if he identified you as someone being involved in the case?"
Rachel shook her head.
"That might be another question to ask him. My guess would be that he didn't. He's very protective of you and he's aware that given your status as a public figure people will try to get information about you. I'd be surprised if he has involved you with this," Torey said.
"What about my uncle though? He knows that, but he keeps asking me to report my uncle," Rachel pointed out.
"The fact that he's asking you to do so suggests that there's nothing else connecting your uncle to these men. If your uncle had already been arrested, I don't think Severus would be asking you to report him," Torey reasoned.
Rachel supposed that made sense. "I just want that part of my life to be over."
"I wish it worked that way," Torey said gently. "But we carry the parts of our lives with us as we grow. That's why we need to work on them, so they don't hurt us in the future."
Rachel sighed. She knew Torey was right and she didn't want to keep having these nightmares forever. It was just hard. "I'm glad those kids were rescued. I just wish Severus hadn't gone about it this way."
"That's perfectly reasonable," Torey said.
Rachel nodded. It was hard, but they'd have to work it out somehow.
Rachel knocked on Professor Lupin's office door and waited. He was usually in his office between classes and dinner time. The rest of her friends were in their study room. Rachel had walked here on her own after convincing them that she wasn't going to disappear and that they didn't need to be worried now that they knew Sirius was innocent and Pettigrew was in Ministry custody.
The door opened and Professor Lupin smiled. "Rachel, come in."
"Thanks," Rachel said, stepping inside. She noticed that the tank where he'd been keeping the Grindylow was now empty - she supposed he'd moved it somewhere else for the summer.
"How are you doing?" Professor Lupin asked as he settled down in his chair.
"I'm fine. I'm glad exams are over. They make me super nervous, but now I don't have to be nervous until it's time for grades to come," Rachel said.
"Well you have nothing to be nervous about in my class, you did very well on your exam and throughout the class. You're one of my top students," he said, smiling at her.
Rachel smiled back and reminded herself that she wasn't going to think about her final grades until it was time for them to arrive. "We were wondering if we're going to use the same textbook for next year, or if there's going to be a new one assigned. We usually like to start the reading in advance."
Professor Lupin's smile fell away. "I'm afraid I don't know what textbook you'll be assigned for Defense next year as I won't be teaching."
"What?" Rachel asked. She didn't want Professor Lupin to leave. "Why not?"
"It's a little bit difficult to explain," he said. "I put you, and many other people, in a great deal of danger three weeks ago. I discussed it with the Headmaster and explained that I felt I had no choice but to resign. He reluctantly accepted my resignation."
Rachel shifted in her seat. "Not because they thought you were helping Sirius, but because you're a werewolf and you didn't get your potion that night?" she asked quietly.
Professor Lupin nodded. "Precisely. It was an unconscionable lapse of judgement on my part. If Severus hadn't come after me, you could have been killed. When I saw you following that dog, the dog who I suspected was Sirius, I felt like I had no choice but to follow and try to rescue you. For once in my life, the fact that I was a werewolf, the fact that I was dangerous, completely slipped my mind. And then I saw Wormtail - that's what we used to call Peter - and I realized what had happened. I suppose I never truly wished to believe that Sirius was guilty. Was Severus the one who told you that I'm a werewolf?"
"Kinda. He gave a lecture on werewolves when he taught Defense. It was the first full moon of the school year. It was pretty obvious. The rest of the study group knows too," Rachel explained.
"And none of you told anyone?" Professor Lupin asked.
"No. Severus obviously knew, so Professor Dumbledore must have too. Who else would we tell?" Rachel pointed out.
"Your classmates, for one. Most people I know would have been quite upset about their teacher being a werewolf," he said.
Rachel shrugged. "They obviously made it safe or Professor Dumbledore would have never allowed you to come."
"Safe is relative, and highly dependent on me taking the appropriate steps to ensure that I never kill or infect anyone," Professor Lupin said, looking grim. "I failed to do so that night. I cannot apologize enough."
"You don't need to. No one was hurt and we helped Sirius," Rachel said quickly. "And you were coming to help me. You don't need to apologize for that. I was the one who was being stupid."
Professor Lupin shook his head. "While I can't say that it was wise that you followed an unknown dog down into a tunnel, beneath the Whomping Willow no less, you are not stupid. Far from it. We all make mistakes, that's part of growing up and living."
"You're sure you can't stay?" Rachel asked. "It's like you just said, you made a mistake, but it won't happen again."
The corners of Professor Lupin's mouth tilted up but he still seemed sad. "I'm afraid I can't. Some mistakes can't so easily be recovered from. We were all very lucky that night, but we can't rely on luck."
"Do you know what you'll do instead of teach?" Rachel asked, not wanting to put more pressure on him, even though she did wish that he would change his mind.
"I plan to take care of Sirius while he convalesces. After twelve years in Azkaban and a year as a fugitive, I think it will take him some time to return to good health and he'll need someone to help him. It will be nice to have my friend back," Professor Lupin said.
"You think the Ministry will release him?" Rachel asked, hoping that was true.
"I don't see how they could possibly hold him. They can question him using Veritaserum to find out the truth, which they should have done the first time. And they have Peter there and have already questioned him. Besides, with the articles in the Daily Prophet, they can't simply return him to Azkaban," he said.
Rachel thought that they seemed to be able to do whatever they wanted, if they had sent people to Azkaban without trials in the first place. "I hope they do release him," she said finally, not wanting to dampen Professor Lupin's spirits further.
"He has Professor Dumbledore on his side and Professor Dumbledore holds quite the sway over the Wizengamot. I would be very surprised if they didn't release him after his trial," Professor Lupin said.
Rachel nodded and got to her feet. "I should get back to my study group before they get worried about me. Thank you for talking with me."
"Any time, Rachel. I'm hoping that you and Sirius will be able to develop a relationship once he's released. I'm certain he will want to spend time with you. I think it's likely we'll see each other again," Professor Lupin said.
"I would like that," Rachel said, though she doubted that Severus would be pleased. "Bye, for now."
"Bye, for now," Professor Lupin echoed.
Rachel left Professor Lupin's office and headed back toward the study room to tell her friends the bad news. It was too bad that Professor Lupin felt so strongly about what had happened that he wouldn't stay, but Rachel understood that sometimes you just couldn't do something no matter how much other people wanted you to.
It was just past five on Wednesday and Severus stood in Torey's waiting room with his arms folded. Torey had sent an owl on Monday requesting that they speak before Rachel's next session. Usually Severus was the one requesting to speak with Torey and it was a little disconcerting to have been summoned. He thought he had a good idea of what Torey wished to speak with him about, but he hadn't yet decided what to say in his own defense.
"Severus," Torey said from her doorway.
Severus let his arms drop to his sides and joined Torey in her office and took a seat.
"Thank you for taking the time to come see me today," Torey said as she sat down.
"Of course. Rachel's well-being is my priority," Severus said with a short nod.
"I understand that. I had some questions, and some concerns, about what Rachel told me on Saturday. She also asked that I speak with you," Torey said, tapping her pen against the edge of her notebook.
"I believe I know what you're referring to. Rachel was quite upset when I spoke to her on Friday and she's been avoiding me since that conversation," Severus said. She had darted out of class today before he'd had the chance to ask her to stay.
"Do you think you could summarize that conversation for me, so I understand more fully what happened?" Torey asked.
"I had received a letter from the muggle detective I've been working with and I thought that Rachel should know what has happened. I explained to her that the men running the child prostitution ring had been arrested and will stand trial next year, and that some of the clients had been arrested as well. I had hoped that it would help Rachel to know that those men were no longer free to hurt children," Severus explained.
"I absolutely understand that your intentions were good," Torey said. "However it may be helpful to think of this from Rachel's perspective. She is deeply uncomfortable discussing things related to the traumas that she's experienced. For her, to have this conversation sprung on her without warning or a chance to not have the conversation was very upsetting."
Severus thought about this for a moment. "I should have told her what the topic was and given her the opportunity to have the conversation later, at a time of her choosing?"
"Yes, that would be a good start. She's also quite concerned with how you got the information in order to involve the muggle police, and whether or not her name was mentioned," Torey said.
"I did not mention Rachel's name. I was aware that she would not want me to involve her," he said quickly.
"Good. That's something that she'll want to know the next time you have a conversation about the subject. She seemed concerned about the possibility that you used legilimency on her to find out more, but she also seemed to think that you were not able to do so," Torey said.
"I would not use legilimency on Rachel except in an emergency situation where she could not communicate. I will let her know that as well. And she is correct, when I attempted to use legilimency on her when I first learned that she could not speak, I found that she has erected an occlumency barrier and I was not able to communicate with her in her mind. I would not be able to read her memories without her assistance even if I tried," Severus explained.
"She's a natural occlumens. That's quite rare," Torey said, making a note.
"That seems to be the case. I am also a natural occlumens - I did not develop occlumency as a child, as Rachel has, but as soon as someone touched my mind and showed me where to place barriers, I was able to do so without further training," Severus said. He would not go into detail about how that had happened, the only person who knew that it was the Dark Lord who had taught Severus occlumency and legilimency was Albus.
"That's very interesting. I suppose it's possible that Rachel developed her occlumency as a response to the extreme situation she was in," Torey said, making another note. "Are you willing to share with me how you were able to bring these men to the attention of the muggle police?"
Severus considered it and decided that Rachel would likely tell her if he didn't. "I used legilimency on her relatives and focused on the memories that they associate with Rachel. From her uncle's mind I was able to identify the location of where they were operating and several of the men involved. I brought one of these men to a muggle detective and they uncovered the rest," he said, leaving out the parts where he had used compulsion charms on the muggles. It wasn't illegal, but it wasn't something he thought Torey would approve of either.
Torey put down her pen and watched him for a long moment. "I don't think I have to tell you that this is a violation of Rachel's privacy, not to mention the privacy of her relatives."
Severus scowled. "I couldn't care less about her relatives' privacy. They should be in prison for the things they did to her."
"It's natural for you to feel a great deal of anger towards them. Parents of children who have been sexually abused often have difficulties with their own response to the abuse. I understand that you want them to face justice for what they did to Rachel, but for Rachel to heal you must put her needs first in this matter," Torey said gently.
"Isn't justice a part of healing?" Severus asked, forcing his muscles to relax. He had better control over himself then this.
"For some people, it can be, but for many people it's not. The legal system is difficult for victims to navigate under the best of circumstances. For many people it's retraumatizing. For many people there is simply no way to get justice legally," Torey explained. "Rachel is not ready for that yet, and she may never be ready. Right now she can't speak to me or to you about what happened to her except in the broadest of terms. If she were to make a police report they would ask her about details repeatedly. If they decided they had a case, she'd have to testify. And even then it's possible they'd dismiss the case from lack of evidence."
Severus unclenched his jaw. "This would work so much better in the wizarding courts. They could simply use Veritaserum and be done with it. These men would not be free in our system."
"And yet in the wizarding world many victims of rape and sexual abuse don't realize they've been assaulted, because their assailant used potions or memory charms on them. They suffer the results of the trauma, because their body remembers, but they don't know why," Torey said. "There are advantages and drawbacks to both the wizarding world and the muggle world."
Severus had heard of such things. While Death Eaters wouldn't bother to use memory charms on muggles that they assaulted, it had been common practice to use them on muggleborns. "I couldn't just do nothing. I had to do something about this," he said finally.
"I understand. This is a trauma for you too, though in a different way than it is for Rachel. Do you feel like you're finished with your involvement in the case that you brought to the police?" Torey asked.
"I would like to go to the trials, when they occur next spring. And I would like for something to be done about Rachel's uncle, but I would need her cooperation for that," Severus said.
"You need to stop asking Rachel to report her uncle to the police," Torey said. "She knows that it's an option. Maybe at some point in the future she will want to do something about it, but for right now she doesn't. Many victims of trauma, particularly sexual trauma, are embarrassed and ashamed by what happened to them. She is scared that if she makes a report to the police that someone will find out and it will be published in the Daily Prophet, much like how the situation with Leander was publicized last year. And, as I said before, she's not ready to speak about it in detail, and that's what she would need to do if she went to the police."
Severus nodded. He understood that it was certainly a possibility that the Daily Prophet would catch wind of what had happened if they went to the police. "So, I do nothing?"
"No. You support Rachel. You've done very well with her these past three years, but she continues to need your support. She has a lot of learning, and growing, and recovering to do, and that's going to take time. The best thing you can do is be there for her when she's ready to talk. It's likely that she'll want to ask you about how this situation with the muggle police happened. She'll likely be upset. It's probably going to take several conversations. Let her end the conversation when she needs to," Torey said.
"I can do that," Severus said. Hopefully eventually they could get past this. Together.
The study group had managed to fit into a single compartment again for the ride back to Kings Cross Station. Rachel had moved her trunk into Severus' quarters that morning, though she was slightly dreading the idea of living with him right now. They'd barely spoken since their conversation last week and she still didn't know what to do about it. Part of her wanted to just pretend the conversation hadn't happened, but she'd found that she wasn't able to push it out of her mind either.
"Rachel, are you going to the Quidditch World Cup?" Ginny asked after they'd all settled in. "My dad's trying to get tickets."
"I haven't asked Professor Snape, I'm not sure he wants to go," Rachel said. She did want to go, but she wasn't sure she wanted to ask Severus about it right now.
"You should at least ask. He knows that Quidditch is important to you," Theo said.
"Are you going, Theo?" Millie asked.
"No. I only care about Quidditch when my friends are playing," Theo said.
"Daddy has tickets for us. We're camping for a few days before the match," Luna said.
"Let me talk to my dad. It's possible he can get extra tickets for people, so those of you who want to go but don't have families that will take you could come with us instead," Ginny said.
"I think I'd like to go," Hermione said. "I bet my parents would let me go with you. We can pay you back for the price of a ticket of course."
"I'll let my dad know," Ginny said. "Neville, Millie, what about you?"
"I think my family is going. I'll ask my mom about it when I get home and let you know in our books. It's a good thing we got new ones. I can't believe we actually ran out of pages," Millie said.
"I told the shopkeeper that we'd run out when we ordered new ones and they wrote back that they were surprised. Usually these books last people for years," Hermione said.
Theo shrugged. "We're busy people and all of our class notes go in there."
"I think they'll be quite useful as reference material. I'm considering taking all of my first year notes and writing them out in a book so I have a complete set," Hermione said.
"Neville, what about you?" Luna prompted again.
Neville looked up. "I'm not sure. I'll have to ask my Gran. Also, can I show you all something?"
Rachel looked at Neville, now curious. "Sure."
Neville stood up and pulled out his wand. He closed his eyes for a long moment and then exhaled. "Expecto patronum!"
A silvery light came out and coalesced into a small Patronus. After a moment, Rachel realized it was a hedgehog.
They all broke out with cheers and clapping, Hermione throwing her arms around Neville to give him a hug.
"Congratulations," Rachel said, smiling at him.
"When did this happen?" Theo asked.
"Last night. I've been practicing every night before I go to bed. I think I finally found the right memories," Neville said, blushing and smiling. "Rachel, your trick about using multiple memories with the same feeling really helped. Mine are about all of you."
"I'm so glad, Neville," Millie said, her grin broad. "Now the rest of us have to put in the same practice that you did."
"It's very cute," Ginny added.
"I was hoping for something a little stronger," Neville admitted.
Rachel shrugged. "Mine is a doe. They aren't exactly known for being strong in a fight."
"Besides, hedgehogs are very resilient. They can ward off much bigger prey with their spines. And they're known to be quite intelligent, I think it suits you," Luna said. "I wonder what mine will be. I'm hoping for a seahorse."
"Only one way to find out. That's moving to the top of my list to practice once we're back at Hogwarts," Hermione said. "I can't believe they make us go without practicing magic for two whole months."
"They should do a summer program and allow students to do lessons over the summer," Theo said. "Then summer break would only have to be two weeks, like Christmas and Easter."
Rachel felt a pang of sympathy for Theo. She knew he didn't want to go home and she couldn't blame him in the slightest. "We'll stay in contact with our books," she said, trying to sound reassuring. "And I'll probably see you at Draco's birthday party pretty soon."
"What are junior Death Eater birthday parties like?" Ginny asked.
"Boring," Theo said. "Draco is his usual bossy self and all the parents watch us like hawks so I can't even speak to Rachel."
"At least the food is good," Rachel said.
"I think I'll pass. My blood certainly isn't pure enough to warrant an invitation," Millie said, shaking her head.
"More like you parents weren't involved with the Dark Lord," Theo corrected. "Daphne's never invited and her blood is as pure as Draco's."
"It is a little unsettling that the Death Eaters still meet after all this time," Hermione said. "Has Professor Snape ever told you what they talk about there?"
Rachel shook her head. "I haven't asked. He's very worried when we go though. He tells me to be careful and not to go anywhere with anyone."
"He must be in deep if he still takes you even though he thinks it's dangerous," Neville said.
"Or Professor Dumbledore asks him to, so he can spy," Luna said.
"Well that's disturbing on a different level," Hermione said. "Apart from Quidditch matches and Death Eater birthday parties, what are everyone's plans for the summer?"
Their conversation continued as they talked about their plans and what they hoped to do over the summer as the train continued out of the countryside and back into London. Rachel was glad to have the time with her friends and she hoped that she'd see them a few times over the summer.
They disembarked into the chaos of Kings Cross, Rachel carrying Crookshanks and Midnight's carriers while Hermione and Millie hauled their trunks off the train.
"There's my mom. I'll ask my dad about the Cup and hopefully I can invite all of you to my birthday party again. Luna, you're taking the Knight Bus with us, aren't you?" Ginny asked.
"Yes, Daddy couldn't make it to Kings Cross. I'll see all of you later," Luna said.
The pair made their way towards where the Weasley brothers were gathering.
"I'm going to say goodbye now, before my father gets here," Theo said quietly as he looked around.
"Bye," Rachel said, meeting Theo's eyes. "We'll keep in touch."
"Good luck," Millie said.
"Thanks," Theo said and quickly disappeared into the crowd.
"Neville, there you are," Mrs. Longbottom said loudly as she approached them.
"Tell her about your Patronus," Hermione said.
"I will, but I don't think she'll believe me. Bye for now," Neville said, balancing Trevor's wicker cage and his trunk as he went towards his Gran.
Rachel caught sight of Severus waiting for her near the back of the platform.
"Oh, there's my parents," Hermione said. She hugged Rachel and then she hugged Millie. "Hopefully I'll see you both sometime soon."
"Bye," Rachel said. She had hugged Hermione back. It still felt a little strange, but she was getting used to being hugged by Hermione.
"Maybe we'll see you at the Cup," Millie said.
They watched as Hermione joined her parents, her dad immediately taking Hermione's trunk from her.
"I'm going to stand on my trunk, maybe I'll be able to see my dad this way," Millie said. She climbed up and peered around. "Oh, I see Professor Snape."
"I can wait with you until your dad comes," Rachel said, though Severus was now moving towards them.
"There he is," Millie said, waving at the far side of the platform.
"Is everything alright, Miss Bulstrode?" Severus asked as he joined them.
Millie hopped off her trunk. "Now it is, I found my dad. I hope you have a good summer, sir."
"You as well," Severus said.
Millie gave Rachel a brief hug. "Stay in touch."
"I will," Rachel said, hugging her back, though she was glad the hugs were now over for today. She handed Midnight's carrier to Millie.
Millie dragged her trunk behind her and went in the direction she had waved.
"All your friends have found their families?" Severus asked.
"I think so," Rachel said. She hadn't seen Theo find his father, but she assumed he would.
"Are you ready to return to Hogwarts?" he asked, holding out his arm.
"Yes," Rachel said. She held onto Severus' arm and a few moments later they were in front of the gates to Hogwarts. She was glad she'd mostly gotten used to apparating. It was still uncomfortable, but not nearly so much as it used to be.
They began the walk back to the castle, Rachel tipping her head back and looking at the sky. She was going to go flying once she'd gotten the things she needed out of her trunk.
"Rachel, may I say something?" Severus asked.
Rachel glanced at him. She hoped this wasn't going to be like their last conversation. "Okay?"
"I want to apologize to you. I spoke with Torey and I understand that what I discussed with you was quite upsetting. I'm sorry," Severus said.
Rachel came to a stop, feeling a little bit confused. She wasn't used to people apologizing to her. "I don't know what to say," she said finally.
Severus looked down at her, looking pensive. "You may accept my apology if you wish to, or if you'd prefer not to, that's alright."
"No, I mean. Of course I accept your apology," she said quickly. "I just, don't really know that you need to apologize to me."
"I hurt you, even though it was inadvertent. I acted because I want to protect you," Severus said. "I'm not perfect, but I am trying to do what is best."
Rachel looked down, feeling uncomfortable. "I'm not perfect either. But I do try."
"I know you do, and I appreciate that," Severus said. "I am here if you want to ask questions about what I did, but you can do that when you're ready to. If you want to talk about anything, I will listen."
"Thanks," Rachel said. She did have questions, but she didn't want to ask them right now. Maybe not for a while. "Are you mad at me?"
"Not at all," Severus said. "Are you mad at me?"
Rachel shook her head. "No, not really. I just don't know what to feel about things."
"That's alright, you can take your time. And if you are mad at me, you can tell me, and I will do what I can to help," Severus said.
"Okay," Rachel said. It was weird, but Severus apologizing to her had helped some.
"Is there anything you want to talk about now?" Severus asked.
"No, not really. I just want to take a break," Rachel said.
"You can certainly do that," Severus said. "Do you want to eat when we get back to my quarters?"
"Yeah, that would be good," Rachel said, and they started walking again.
It seemed like this summer could be alright, even if things weren't perfect.
And that's the end of year three. Thanks for reading and for all your lovely review and for favoriting me and my fic. Year four, Snow Flurries, starts next Saturday. If you want to receive a notification when it posts, you can follow me. Thanks again!
