Chapter 2: Of Nightmares
Hinata
"Did you want your change?" The vendor asks, Hinata shaking her head. She peers at his name tag to properly know who he is, Matsuo.
"You keep it." She beams, pushing the coins back into his hands.
He needed it more than her telling by the teary smile that rises upon his face in gratefulness. His clothes despite trying to hide the stains and holes still show the grime and blood he and many others have sustained trying to get by these days...
"Forgive me if this sounds rude but you're a Hyuga, correct?" Matsuo asks and Hinata nods, her eyes are the giveaway after all of her Clan.
His grin widens then, showing off a toothy grin and hazel orbs that shine in the morning light. "Right, I recognized your face from the papers! The one who rushed in to protect Naruto and bided him some time."
She squirms at his praise, she doesn't regret at all going into that battle knowing Pain was stronger...it is the afterwards that lingers between her and Naruto now that makes her uncomfortable.
But he had came to visit her in the hospital, wanted to see she was okay for himself and she feels her face warm at the memory.
"I didn't really do that much in the end." Hinata considers.
Matsuo waves away her modesty, shaking his head. "Well it was enough to enrage Naruto that was for sure!"
His eyes trail behind her at seeing a new figure approach and she immediately senses his signature chakra without having to look back as the merchant's grin widens. "Ah, and it's the very man of the hour! Welcome, for you I'll give you a discount on anything you want; just name it!"
Naruto gives him a nod of acknowledgment that he doesn't need anything and Hinata feels his steady gaze on her alone instead of the merchant's various goods.
"You're not an early bird." She teases when they're far enough away from the stand, becoming enveloped in the rising noise of the market. It's lucky she decided to come when the markets first opened to pick up the freshest catch of the days and produce before they were all gone.
Naruto chuckles, rich and light seemingly without a care in the world. "I was in the forests nearby! I hadn't realized how much time had passed until I saw the sky shifting colors from blue to orange/red from the sunrise you know."
'That explains the pine needles in his hair.' Hinata notes, the scent of dew and woods that clings to his clothes. She reaches a hand out to brush away the remaining pieces of leaves and grass scattered throughout his hair, reddening at noticing how close they truly are.
Naruto must realize it too in the way pink dusts his cheeks, though he doesn't fidget back from her. "Hinata, I wanted to ask you-"
"Hey, isn't that Naruto?! Come check out my wares, I'll give you half-price! No, more than half-price as a Hero discount!" A man gestures with a wave from down the row of stands, startling them both.
Hinata blinks, not recognizing the man but something in Naruto's expression shifts as cerulean hardens into ice.
She may not know who this is, but Naruto does.
"Isn't that the same man who refused to sell you his kunai and scrolls just a few years ago? Oh, how times have changed! Does he think you simply forgot how he called you a monster? How he pretended you didn't exist until you finally walked away from his store's entrance? He didn't think you were a Hero then." Kurama sneers with an amused laugh.
Naruto clenches his teeth, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide his balled up fists. Time and stress may have brought sprinkles of gray to his dark hair and bags under his eyes, but he recognizes him clearly.
"A lot of people used to hate me or fear me, I proved I'm more than just your container. I don't intend to hold grudges against any of these people either." Naruto remarks back.
Saying that comment just makes Kurama snicker even louder, voice booming and cold.
"Oh really? Humans are creatures of habit, they'll be afraid of you once more when they learn all of what you've hidden."
Naruto sucks in a breath, forcing on a smile for the man. "Another time!" He yells back.
He reaches for Hinata's hand then before Kurama invades his thoughts any further, weaving them quickly out of the crowds until they are on the outskirts of one of Konoha's trail parks.
The jogging path is thankfully quiet except for a group of elderly couples doing morning stretches on the grass a good few feet away. None of them pay them any mind, too focused on making sure they keep up with the rhythm of the instructor in front.
'Are my palms sweaty? I hope not.' Hinata swallows down a growing knot in her throat.
She forces herself to look properly at Naruto, heart thrumming in her ears.
If Naruto is anxious or uncertain, he's doing his best not to show it either.
"It's better to ask this where it isn't as loud and we have a bit of privacy you know. So before we got interrupted I wanted to ask you something important...Why?" He asks, voice quieting as he studies her carefully.
"Why?" Hinata repeats back slowly, not understanding his question.
But Naruto only nods, scratching nervously behind his head hating how on edge he is becoming. Nobody has ever said to him what Hinata has, not in the same way she spoke it and looked at him...
"Why do you love me?"
-X-
Kakashi
'Naruto isn't here.' Kakashi frowns, he wasn't one to wake up early without good reason.
Strange.
Even with his mask he can still smell remnants of old ramen to dirty clothes in the air, wrinkling his nose. He thought Naruto would've been taught more how to clean up after himself while he was with Jiraiya...
He wades himself through the trash into Naruto's room, eyeing the same empty bowls to scrolls littered about until he sees it in the corner by his dresser. The only clean spot.
Jiraiya's final manuscripts.
'It really is true what they say.' He muses, twinge of ache running through him. All of Jiraiya's works were considered collector's items now, selling out across bookstores in and out of the village. In death, Jiraiya is probably making more than he's made even from his from most popular editions in his series of Make Out Paradise novels.
'Well, I don't know how long he's been gone for. I'll just have to let Lady Tsunade know I'll check again later.' He sighs.
Just as he walks back onto Naruto's rooftop though does he see a flurry of pink hair, pausing. Sakura lands beside him, arching a brow when jade orbs trail from him to Naruto's open window.
"I didn't take you as one to snoop Kakashi-sensei." She jokes.
"Not snooping, just checking around." He counters, not that Sakura's look says she believes him.
"You haven't seen him, have you?" She questions.
Kakashi shakes his head, turning back to gaze around Naruto's mess. "Lady Tsunade wanted me to find him to discuss if Jiraiya had left him any other notes in regards to the rest of the Akatsuki or hidden messages in one of his books we need to be aware of. Also...it seemed like she just wanted to check in with him to see how he was doing. He's fine physically, but mentally..." He trails off.
Sakura nods solemnly, knowing what he is leaving unsaid. "Well, he wasn't at Ichiraku's or that 24-hour convenience store around the block. I'll send him Lady Tsunade's way if I happen to come across him first." She explains, checking her watch before heading in the direction of the hospital.
The day is growing hot already, sunlight washing against the various buildings of Konoha still standing in hues of red and gold. Each ray highlights various cracks and makes broken glass glimmer, bringing them out of the darkness of night.
If Naruto isn't on this side of the village he is either near the training grounds or the marketplace.
'Or he's avoiding you and Sakura.' Another thought retorts, but he pushes away the idea.
Because even if that thought is true, he can't think of a reason why Naruto would want to purposefully not cross paths with them.
He continues with his rooftop hopping, getting an aerial view of the village. Through the rising crowds there is only a sea of brunettes, peppered with a few dark haired and graying individuals.
No blonds.
"Alright ladies and gents! Let's take a 10-minute water break; shake all those stiff muscles and sore joints out!" A man's voice calls out and his eye shifts in the direction of the park.
A yoga or aerobics class maybe. Gai told him about these classes once on the basis of building their youth up working out with a generation older than even them, though he had only been half-paying him any attention at the idea.
'Ah, there he is.' He realizes seeing Naruto's familiar orange and black jacket come into view.
However he steps back into the shadows quickly, near a tree scraping the edge of this building's rooftop and he hopes this particular spot won't cave in from his pressure. Now isn't a good time to step in, not when it looks to be a private conversation.
Naruto at least thankfully hasn't picked up on his presence yet despite getting this close and neither has Hinata...
Both are only focused on each other.
-X-
Naruto
"It's just...I mean you don't know me that well, you know; to love me in all." Naruto mutters, feeling his voice crack. He's relieved they've taken to the shade out of the heat, out of her possibly seeing his face warming like this.
However Hinata only smiles at him and his stomach lurches all over again being sent this look she seems to reserve only for him. "I know, but I want to. If you'll let me that is."
"There's no going back once you let her in." Kurama warns.
"I do! Ah, though I'm nobody special really!" Naruto blurts out quickly with a chuckle, all the while ignoring Kurama's grunt he is acting silly.
Again.
He straightens himself up off the bark of the tree, gaze falling away from Hinata's to the distance. The forestry and mountains to the East are deep and lush with vegetation and somewhere within all that there is a clue of where Sasuke has gone or planning to go next he's sure.
"I don't think it's the best idea to associate with me though Hinata. The Akatsuki are still going to be coming after me and I wasn't even strong enough to hold my own against Pain. On top of that I still need to knock some sense into Sasuke's head before he does something that makes him end up in the Bingo Book if that hasn't already happened." Naruto considers.
There are too many variables going on, too many uncertainties.
'Will I lose control if she gets injured again or worse, killed in front of me?' He frowns.
Kurama snickers, probably waiting for such a moment to come.
He feels her hand intertwine with his making him look back towards her. For being a shinobi her hands lack the familiar calluses and old scars typical from a veteran or someone who has been on the front-lines of a war and risky missions too many times to count...
No, hers are soft and comforting.
"Easy to break or crush in." Kurama muses.
"Let me come with you Naruto." Hinata asks after a moment, squeezing at his hand lightly.
His eyes widen just a fraction, hope blooming before he squashes it back down. Hiashi would never approve of his eldest daughter traveling out of the village with him alone, even if she is no longer the heiress of the clan. Maybe his opinion of him has changed, but it's hard to tell with his typical stoic expression.
And while truth be told her byakugan would help in tracking down rogue shinobi faster that will be coming after him, it is more so the desire to not go on this journey feeling so alone that has him nodding.
Because even Yamato-sensei treats him more like something to be watched than actual company, around to make sure he doesn't do anything hasty or lose control again.
His chest feels lighter seeing the pure happiness in knowing she can be with him...
'Love.'
That one word meant so much to him.
"Hey um, how long have you actually been in love with me you know?" He asks, unable to hide a silly grin. How does one know when they're in love anyways? Is it the rush of the heartbeat or this feeling of dizziness that becomes all consuming of your every thought?
It is Hinata who is doing these things to him, burrowing into his thoughts so much as of late that Kurama can even use her name just to rile him for a reaction.
Crimson burns at her cheeks and he feels his grin widen, shifting closer to her until their shoulders brush.
Violet eyes sparkle, rubbing her fingers nervously against his knuckles where their hands remain joined.
"...A long time Naruto, since our Academy days."
-X-
Sakura
'Code blue in bed 5! Code blue in bed 5!' A voice shouts over the intercom.
And just like that, her lunch break is over.
Dr. Fukuda clears a path for her, Nurse Harada already in the middle of chest compressions when she steps in. It's the same gentleman Mr. Ishida who came in this morning after complaining of shortness of breath, most likely due to the smoke inhalation he sustained from Pain's assault.
'Not today! Not yet Mr. Ishida!' She yells mentally, barking out orders to get the defibrillator ready from the crash cart. The jolt doesn't work, his rhythm still erratic and body much too still.
Another IV is put in as he is intubated; medications are pushed and yet his chest remains frozen, heart and lungs failing as his eyes turn glassy.
They're losing him...
She swallows, beads of sweat forming on her brow. He only came in today merely because of his wife's nagging, promising her he would be home in time for supper with her and the grand kids when he shooed her off at the entrance.
'All our actions aren't enough.'
"We should call time of death." Dr. Fukuda voices from her side after the 6th cycle of CPR has done does nothing to improve his outcome. His skin has started to take on an ashen bluish-gray, circulation slowing down.
The room feels colder just having to utter those words aloud, throat tight as she nods letting him announce to cease all measures.
Her nails dig into her palms watching the code team and nurses help prepare another body now for the morgue. Pain's attack may have long since ended, but the effects of it persist here within the hospital's walls from infected wounds to respiratory ailments not always fully visible until it's too late...
"I'll give Lady Tsunade a report; don't worry." She states before Dr. Fukuda can ask, slipping back out in the hall to catch her breath.
She counts off from 10 slowly in her thoughts, until her hands are no longer pulsing and her heartbeat is calm once more.
Tsunade's office smells of liquor and she bites her tongue not to comment on her increased day-drinking again. Amber eyes don't shift up until she closes the door behind her rattling a stack of files next to her head, cheeks flushed and wet as she sits up slowly.
"You can stay home you know My Lady, at least until you feel 100% better." Sakura remarks.
Tsunade snorts in response, wiping blonde locks sticking to her face out of the way. "Is that your kind way of saying I look like shit?"
A half-smirk crosses Sakura's face then at her language. "Your words not mine."
But she is still hurting that much is obvious observing her paleness, Jiraiya loved her even when she cracked his bones for peeping or was drinking her sorrows away like this.
And maybe she would've given him a chance if not for Dan's memory, the way he died clinging to her...
"Alcohol makes you forget for a little while at least Sakura. Don't you want to do that sometimes when it comes to Sasuke?" Tsunade hums, ignoring her glare pouring herself a 4th glass while pushing a mixed cocktail shot towards her.
Sasuke is supposed to be an off-limits topic.
Because somewhere within that darkness he has given into is still the boy she fell in love with, they just have to draw that side of him out again even if by force.
This bar is packed with other patrons Sakura notes glancing around, air stuffy with sweat and heat of their bodies so closely swarmed together. They all want to do what Tsunade suggests though at seeing tears hurriedly blinked away to calls for another round of drinks.
Yes, the night is a success if all the people here can do just one thing: Forget.
'Yes...No.' She couldn't even give her a proper answer in her thoughts, accepting the shot at her teasing look.
The taste of the bourbon and sake had burned at her throat, making her cough wildly and Tsunade snicker she would be an utter lightweight at anything stronger.
"Drink this." Sakura orders now, tossing a water bottle at her pushing away the memory from nights ago.
Even in her drunken haze she catches it, cracking it open and straightening up properly.
"Another death?" Tsunade guesses after she finishes gulping nearly half the water down.
Sakura simply nods, leaning forward. "Mr. Ishida came in to the ER this morning for shortness of breath and low grade fever. Chest X-ray showed inflammation of his alveoli and bronchioles relating to evidence of pneumonia. He was started on breathing treatments by respiratory therapy along with antibiotics and was doing well until his oxygen saturation abruptly dropped. Code team was activated by Nurse Harada."
"How long was CPR done for?" Tsunade questions.
"Over 45 minutes, his cardiac rhythm never came out of V-fib before he fully arrested and went into asystole." Sakura finishes.
Tsunade is silent for a long minute before she nods, eyes softening. "You did all you could. With his older age along with a history of asthma and hypertension on top of that smoke inhalation sustained, his chances for survival decreased drastically."
She pushes back from her chair then, standing to stretch and take in the view. Sakura follows her gaze taking in the warm air blowing in through her open window, noticing then a sealed letter atop her folders and pausing. Her name is written in that unique ink lettering that can only be from one person.
'From Jiraiya?'
"Naruto was here?" She asks aloud before she can think any more on it, reddening at Tsunade's narrowed eyes when she peers back at her and sees where her attention has gone.
She waves off her nosiness though, nodding. "Just left a few minutes before you stepped in. I don't know if I can bring myself to read whatever that pervert left for me though...at least not yet."
'Naruto was here and I missed him again.' Sakura muses, however she still hadn't thought of anything proper to say to him on his loss now that focus has moved past Pain's attack to rebuilding the village.
Treating him to ramen seems too minuscule, something he does everyday anyways.
"He wants to leave the village soon, train with this other tailed beast in Kumo and explore what each nation can teach and offer him so he can be ready when the Akatsuki strikes again; just a heads up." Tsunade relates.
And Sakura feels her stomach coil taking each word in, mouth going dry before she can even speak. 'That will leave us another member short again.'
But then Team 7 has never been the same since Sasuke's defection, since Sai reminded them of all their faults...
"Lying comes easy for this team I've noticed. Kakashi-sensei seems to be ignorant to all of your problems or at least pretends to not see them. From Sasuke's revenge boiling over, Naruto's neglect, to your love for Sasuke despite how dangerous he has become." Sai considers with a dry smile looking up from his rice bowl, paying no mind to Sakura's tightening fists.
Before she can even counter him he goes on, onyx eyes watching her carefully. "It's true. Naruto knows how far you're willing to go to stop Sasuke if the opportunity arises. Could you really kill him yourself when you still love him?"
Maybe that's why Naruto keeps things from her now, not wanting her to act recklessly or pretend her feelings for Sasuke are gone when they're not.
"He won't be alone, Hinata will be joining him it seems." Tsunade adds, smiling at her brief shock taking her out of her thoughts.
"Hinata?" Sakura parrots back, recalling Ino's nudging with the roses.
It was really working?!
Well, Naruto can have his secrets then just as she has her own. Friends don't need to share everything like Sai seems to think nor do they pretend their team is perfect when they're still fixing themselves. Some things are kept only between lovers.
And as well there are things about Naruto that she'll never know or understand.
-X-
Naruto & Hinata
"It's okay to come in?" Hinata asks, peering around as if his landlord or neighbors care when he has visitors over as she stands just outside the threshold of his apartment door.
"I'm not sure I'm okay with you spending the night over at Naruto's so suddenly." Hiashi frowns.
What happened to meeting with them over dinner? They were going completely out of order from what they previously discussed!
"Father, we'll sleep in separate rooms; nothing will happen! If I plan to travel with him I have to get used to being near him and I can ask us all to meet for lunch this weekend to further go over this; I promise. Please just let me help him through this difficult time he's having." Hinata reasons.
Neji lets his retort die on his lips, knowing about his recently passed sensei.
But Hinata is dropping this on them abruptly, that she'll travel and train with Naruto in only 2 weeks time. Perhaps they should've expected this after hearing her confession, that the best way to get stronger and connect more with Naruto is to go on journeys with him.
"Let us know immediately if he doesn't act like the upmost gentlemen towards you Lady Hinata." He decides after a moment.
"Yes, we'll come in the middle of night if need be!" Hiashi adds.
No, that wasn't going to be necessary Hinata had reflected at the time but wisely kept to herself.
"Sure, it won't be my first time having guests over you know!" Naruto chimes.
Though he badly wishes he had cleaned up if he knew was going to bring somebody over, hoping she isn't squeamish or disgusted like most of their classmates are when they see how messy he is.
'It's very Naruto, this whole area.' Hinata considers, eyes roaming over discarded ramen cups and laid out scrolls strewn about.
Naruto forges ahead into his kitchen, wincing at a pile of unwashed dishes now laying in cloudy water the color of mud and ash. He isn't sure if he can even offer her any snacks or drinks, trying to recall the last time he actually went shopping.
'Crap. Crap. Crap!' Naruto internally berates himself.
There's no way Hinata will want to stay, even he is finding this all repulsing despite living with it for days now. If he wasn't so distracted with Pervy-Sage's death maybe these piles wouldn't have gotten so big...
"You lived this way before that man died and you know it; you've always been slovenly. Grimy." Kurama points out.
"I can help you clean up a bit, at least so that you can see your floor again!" She jokes behind him, already reaching for a trash bag.
"Ah, you don't have to! I mean, it's my fault for being a slob." Naruto counters, gritting his teeth that he is essentially agreeing with Kurama on his poor habits.
But Hinata didn't leave and soon enough they can see his wood flooring again properly.
He fixes her with a serious look as soon as they finish taking the trash bags out to the bins and head back inside. "I don't know much on the Akatsuki except for what Pervy-Sage found out about them and the ones who had already targeted other tailed beasts."
Hinata nods, counting off with her hand. "Well there is Pain or aka Nagato who was their leader until his death now. His second in command seems to have been the blue-haired woman Konan, though I don't believe she'll go after you."
"The ones that are already dead are Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kazuku, and Itachi recently going by the latest rumors that I can think of off the top of my head." Naruto adds in.
Hinata reaches for a blank scroll nearby the kitchen table, writing out descriptions of each of their abilities next to their names.
"We know there are only a few tailed beast left that haven't been captured and subsequently killed. We additionally don't know what their true end goals are either in trying to get every last tailed beast except power." Hinata concludes.
On top of this there is Sasuke whose allegiance may or may not lie with the Akatsuki too or if he is just simply using them as pawns in completing his revenge.
They brainstorm through suggestions of counterattacks and ambushing them in surprise before Naruto halts them, realizing how late it's gotten at seeing it approach 11:00 pm.
While Hinata said it was fine to stay over, he didn't hear those words from Hiashi or Neji himself. He hides his fidgeting hands beneath the table, nobody has ever been at his apartment this late...
"I can take your couch-" Hinata begins, Naruto rapidly shaking his head before she can finish that sentence.
His bed isn't perfect, though it's much more comfortable than the lumps and tears littered throughout his sofa. While Hinata heads over to his bathroom to get changed into her pajamas his mind drifts, this is really happening.
"You're foolish to think this will last." Kurama scoffs.
Night is when he is loudest, in the darkness where not even moonlight falls he can remind him of everything, resurface memories he has buried deep he never wants to see again.
Or for anyone to know.
Hinata quietly whispers a goodnight to him at seeing him dozing off and it is then soon after he slips into the first nightmare, the same painful flashback.
He is back on the battlefield facing Pain only Pervy-Sage is there as well, already bleeding out and motionless too far away to reach. Hinata will jump in as before just as always no matter how hoarse his voice gets in protest and then he will see red when one of Pain's dark rods crushes down on her...
"I'll take over your body again one day soon and nobody will be able to stop me." Kurama predicts, as if it is already fact.
"Naruto, Naruto! Are you okay? You were shaking and groaning in your sleep." Hinata's voice returns, blocking out Kurama's voice and he shifts up rapidly nearly falling off the couch. A layer of sweat stickily resides on him, brushing away the dampness coating his head.
He's back in his living room, dream fading into stretching silence. It's still late in the night, streetlights still visibly on through the slits in his blinds casting orange to white shadows.
"I'm fine...just a bad dream." He manages out, reaching for Hinata's hand just to be sure.
Her warmth and her touch are real and his heartbeat gradually slows.
Hinata reaffirms her hold with a light squeeze, slipping into his blankets beside him. "I'm here."
Naruto nods, unable to find anything else to say to express his relief. If he falls asleep again though he's sure he'll have another variation of that dream or he will be forced to bear to witness grisly images of people he's harmed when Kurama takes over...
And throughout all of them there will be nothing he can do to stop himself.
-x-
I blame my friend for my continued love of this couple lol! Nah just kidding, but yeah I am continuing this. Not sure how long it will be or how fast I'll get through it but I can see an end to it. Let me know your thoughts as always or any ideas/questions you may have!
Enjoy. Review. Favorite. Follow!
