Last time: Everyone gathered at the Davis' hotel suite for a Welcome Home surprise party for Mai, though she was not the only one to receive surprises that day! Mai had an issue with eating her favorite candy and Naru had to help calm her down. She also told everyone that she was returning to school the following Monday, leaving Naru wondering if she is truly ready to go back...
A/n: Hey, guys, I have some news that I don't think you guys will like so much: Spirit_Weaver and I were feeling a good deal of stress from posting every two weeks especially with what all is going on for each of us irl. With all the pressure, Spirit_Weaver has decided to go ahead and go on hiatus. I'll do what I can to polish up the last two chapters we have written before I think about joining her, so I can't promise a schedule. We do have a good portion of the rest of the story planned out so I'm not sure if I'll be continuing the story writing alone or not since I tend to be long winded and overly detailed alone. - Koujinbutsu
Coming Back to Life - Part 5: School Days (Part 1)
The day before school…
Mai spent Sunday doing make-up work in the Davis' suite. Fairly early on, the Davis couple had gone out on an errand. It wasn't long after they left that Madoka skipped out the door as well, claiming that she needed to go help Lin with something. This left Naru and Mai alone in the entirely too large suite to fend for themselves. In the absence of all three adults, they remained busily engaged, working to complete Mai's make-up assignments.
As much as Mai enjoyed Naru's company and support, she found his hovering presence increasingly frustrating, especially after he'd begun acting as her tutor. Thanks to work, she knew he could be a taskmaster, but his teaching regiment was ridiculous! For every mistake she made on her math homework, Naru added another problem for her to solve. These additional problems were right out of his head and not in her math book because, heaven forbid, she might work past her class in math.
Mai didn't even want to think about what would happen when she got around to her English homework. At that thought Mai let out a long sigh, which Naru caught.
Looking over at her, his eyebrows furrowed in concern, Naru asked, "Are you tired, Mai?"
"A bit," she admitted with an apologetic smile.
"How about we get through these last twelve problems and then get you into bed," he suggested.
With a raised eyebrow, Mai stared at him feeling a touch dumbfounded as she thought, Yeah, unless I get more wrong and you end up adding twelve more. Once again sighing, she explained, "That's just the thing. I'm tired mentally, I think I just need a break."
"There's only twelve more," he repeated encouragingly. Mai couldn't help staring at him as she thought, I'm glad that Naru isn't my actual teacher…if he were, though, I just might graduate early. That is, if I could survive having all the information crammed into my brain.
Mai groaned in defeat, and pushed away from the table rolling her eyes as she turned away. Though it caused her pain, her legs led her to the window. Looking out at the cityscape, but not truly seeing it, she quietly and calmly spoke her mind. "I'm glad you're trying to help me and all, but I need a break. It feels like I've been pushing through my homework so much the last several days that my brain is swelling and about to pop."
"You could always take some more time off from school," Naru suggested, coming to stand by her side.
"I've already told you. I can't do that, Naru. If I do, I'll just get more behind." She crossed her arms and rubbed them, trying to comfort herself. Looking at him, she admitted, "I'm surprised you're even suggesting it. You're the one who is always giving me guff about skipping school and being stupid." The irony had her sighing once more and she turned back to look out the window and at the sea of highrise buildings that stretched out below them. Though she knew the area, viewing it from this vantage point only made everything seem foreign, and the foreign view only gave her a small fraction of comfort.
The only thing recognizable that she could see from the Davis' suite was Fuji-san in the distance. It was the only thing that could really give her any sense of "home." Without it, this could just be any other city. Without it she would have simply felt lost. The view from here, as foreign as it felt, was better than the sight from her own room. Mai still couldn't believe that she was calling such a place home. The only landmark that felt familiar out of the windows of the suite she shared with Aria was the red and white structure of Tokyo Tower which was familiar enough, but, she had to admit, it wasn't particularly beautiful or comforting in the middle of the day.
Naru came up behind her and gently placed his hands on the sides of both shoulders. "I'm worried about you. On Thursday, in the hospital, Ms. McLoughlin, Matsuzaki-san and I got to talking while you were asleep. We're all concerned that you're taking what happened to you too lightly, like maybe it hasn't fully hit you yet or something. Back at that abandoned hospital, you were hurting so much and you pulled so far into yourself that I couldn't feel you at all, but, by the way you've been acting ever since I brought you back, it's almost like it never happened at all. According to Ms. McLoughlin, the fact that you've been acting so normal is odd. She's felt the effects of rape on various people, but with you it almost feels like it didn't happen, but we all know otherwise. Ayako did point out that extreme trauma could block a person's memories, but I get the feeling that that isn't what's going on. Am I wrong?"
When she didn't respond, Naru turned Mai to face him. "I'm not an emotional guy on average, but even I'm having a hard time dealing with what I felt you go through back there, and I didn't experience everything you did. You've been acting like the incident at the party yesterday didn't happen either. I don't understand how you can be so calm about everything that happened, let alone calm enough to want to jump back into school so soon."
A feeling of darkness had begun to skirt Mai's mind as Naru had started talking about the rape, but she shook it away with a single, unconscious twitch of her head. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves a bit more as she considered what to tell him, "You're right, I haven't forgotten, and I know everyone is worried about me, but I don't want them to be." Her eyes focused back on the view offered by the window and the silence stretched out between them.
"I'm afraid," she finally admitted, her voice small in the quiet of the room. "I feel like if I think about what happened, let alone verbalize it," she looked down towards her feet and placed her hand on the cool glass, "it feels like my world will shatter into a million pieces and that I'll never be me again...so, for the time being, I want to try to go to school. I feel like, even though I'm still bruised and sore, I'm well enough to go." Turning to him, she smiled a troubled smile. "As for what happened at the party...it's not like I'll be eating any more sea salt caramels and people won't be sitting right next to me. We'll be several feet apart the whole time, in fact-even during lunch. I'll be fine."
The statement left Naru wondering if she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince him. He had to admit the chances were slim that anything truly bad would happen, but he couldn't let go of his concern for her. Leaning in, he kissed her forehead lightly. "If you're feeling up to it, I guess I shouldn't try to hold you back, but," he trailed off and looked out at the city below them. "I'll still be worried about you." His gaze turned to the floor between them as he took her hands gently in his, " If anything happens to you while you're on the school grounds, I won't be able to help you. I don't think they'd take me seriously if I told them something like, 'My girlfriend is in danger,' let alone let me onto their campus to check on you." The two shared a look and Mai blushed. Naru brushed her blushing cheek gently with the back of his hand before adding, "If I went in without their permission, they would call the authorities and have me arrested."
After a second or two she admitted "You're probably right," she then smiled a more genuine smile and added, "but I'll be safe in school. Nothing really bad has ever happened to me there, so don't worry. I'll be fine." She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around him. "Just look, I can be close to you just fine." Mai gave him a squeeze and he followed suit, giving her a hug in return. "See, I'm fine. There is nothing to panic about."
Naru squeezed her tighter, "I hope you're right."
The following Friday afternoon, SPR offices…
Naru, Lin and the Davis' sat in the reception area of the office, discussing several requests that had been received. Naru had been ignoring them in favor of being near Mai for the past two weeks, while Lin had been left alone to manage the office. Since Lin disliked being the one responsible to make the choices, the cases had been, for all intents and purposes, left ignored. Naru shook his head, from just a quick glance through each of them, he could already see several that obviously weren't even worth considering. The majority of the rejects had so few symptoms that they were likely due to faulty wiring issues and plumbing mistakes.
Luella watched her son sift through and discard several of the files with an air of detachment. "Do you so easily discount cases here? I thought you would put a bit more energy into checking out each of the claims."
Naru looked at his mother and sighed. "Mother, more often than not the people that make requests here do not understand what paranormal research is. We frequently get mistaken as a group of PI and get requests to investigate husbands whose wifes suspect them of cheating. Sometimes we are somehow mistaken as being religious in nature or dealing with the occult. We've even had requests to cleanse supposedly possessed animals...usually cats. Most of these cases I discarded just now are along the variety of leaky pipes, bad electrical connections, and one case of fleas.
"Several of them could be solved by calling a plumber, a contractor, or simply putting in a request to their landlords. Most of it amounts to keeping up basic maintenance. I will, however, have Mai take a look at a few of these, if she's up to it, just in case," Naru responded as he briefly touched the small pile he'd kept. "Her instincts have often proved reliable."
Luella and Martin shared a glance. Oliver very rarely took that much time to explain his reasoning to anyone. Which of course caused Luella to turn back and smile mischievously at her son, "I think Mai's been a positive influence on you. Normally you'd just roll your eyes and continue with what you were doing. I can't tell you how many times you've deemed my questions to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things."
Now Naru did roll his eyes, "Mother, this office is a subsidiary of BSPR. Of course I will answer my boss' questions pertaining to how I choose my cases, but I refuse to waste precious time on obviously non-paranormal cases." He sighed, wishing that Mai would arrive soon, he could really use a cup of her tea right about now.
As if desiring his girlfriend's presence were a switch, he felt fear coarse through him. It was Mai's fear. Reaching out to her with his mind, he felt that she was very close-in the direction of the subway station. Unlike the other two times he'd felt her panic and reached out to her, earlier in the week, this time he picked up a feeling of pain accompanying the emotions and instantly went on the alert. Something's wrong...she needs me! Naru jumped up shouting, "Lin," before moving quickly to the door.
Before Naru could exit, Martin called out, "What's happening," with a frown.
They barely caught wind of Naru's shouted reply as he sprinted out the door, "Something is scaring Mai and she's been hurt!"
Lin sprinted past the bewildered couple and after Naru, but it wasn't until he and his charge were about a hundred feet from the subway that Lin finally managed to catch up to him. It hadn't been an easy task to follow Naru in his rush to get to Mai. Lin had needed to dodge in and out of all the crowds visiting the popular section of town between the office and the subway just to try and get near. Even after arriving at the subway entry, Naru didn't slow. Instead, he flew down the stairs. His only hesitation came when he'd hit the subway's floor, but, even then, it was only a second before he changed directions and took off again.
When he got to the bottom, Lin couldn't help casting his eyes around the emptying station for the young girl he knew they were searching for as he followed Naru. It was when they were nearing the back of the stairs that he caught wind of a conversation coming from a group of rougher looking young men just up ahead.
"Looks like someone could use some cheering up," said one guy with spiky, styled hair, nodding off towards the stairs. Lin had a sinking feeling that it was Mai at the end of his leering gaze.
"Hmm," hummed another, taking a gander. "Not bad. Works for me."
The conversation didn't progress any further before Naru grabbed the two's shoulders and shoved them aside, as if he were parting the red sea, on his beeline to Mai's side. Which left Lin to deal with the rest of the group and the resulting aftermath.
Very late that night in Aria's suite…
In her room, Mai lay curled up on her bed. She was attempting to numb her mind so she wouldn't disturb Naru, but her thoughts remained dark.
Over the past week she'd come to realize that he could now sense when she was feeling a strong emotion and even sometimes when she was hurting. The idea of him having access to her true emotions and even her pains left her feeling exposed. It was like she'd lost her privacy and she hated the feeling, but the part that troubled her most of all was that she felt like she was being a burden to him.
Another part of her was selfishly thankful for the connection and that he was willing to take the time to watch out for her as much as he had been…No matter how much I don't deserve it, she couldn't help adding. There must be some reason I have such bad karma, but I can't think of any reasons why. Tears fell from her eyes as she continued to quietly weep for herself and the hellish week she'd just lived through. The whole thing left her wanting to just disappear.
I don't want to tell Naru that he was right. I should have waited a while before going back to school. I wish I'd known how quickly someone could lose their trust in humanity-it wasn't even humans that raped me, but it feels hard to trust anyone anymore. Mai sighed and rolled over on her bed. I guess it doesn't help that practically everything around me makes me go through everything all over again. A stream of tears poured down her cheeks just like they'd been doing most of the night and she grabbed another tissue to catch the most recent onslaught. I had no idea just how easy it was for every stupid little thing to trigger the memories of what happened.
I must be cursed, she concluded. What happened today was bad enough by itself, but too many bad things happened to me this week. Is this what my life will be like from now on?
Mai shuddered under her covers as she cast her mind back to the beginning of the week. On Monday things had started on a positive note. She'd been able to turn in her math make-up work first thing. Mai recalled that she'd even managed to solve a problem on the board in front of class without much difficulty. The teacher had even complimented her on solving the college level algebra problem correctly as she walked back to her seat to sit back down.
I actually got to feel smart for a change. Her conscience reminded her that it was really only thanks to the fact that Naru had forced her to solve a similar problem when he'd tutored her that she managed to get it right. There's no way in Jigoku that I'll admit to him that it was all thanks to his interference, though. His head is swollen enough as is. Despite the tears still making their way down her face, a small smile curved the edges of Mai's lips at the thought, but the frown quickly returned to her face as her thoughts moved on to what else had happened that day. Why couldn't the rest of the day have gone as well as that first period had?
When she'd walked into second period on Monday, she found the class had been rearranged into groups of four. It had taken Mai only a few seconds to recall Michiru and Keiko's warning from earlier that morning about the fact that the class was going to start dissecting mice. The thought of dissection alone made Mai uneasy, but on top of that, to her dread, she'd also been separated from her friends. Instead, she was the sole girl in a trio of boys that she wasn't well acquainted with.
As the teacher handed out trays, each with a single specimen lying belly up, she'd explained that their grades for the dissection would be a group effort, but as things progressed, the boys in her group had begun acting more and more immature about the whole affair. With their immaturity, Mai had felt increasingly uneasy.
The worst of it had started after one of them, Ushiwaka-kun, had expressed his dismay about having to dissect such a "cute little mouse."
In response, another boy had asked, "Why? It's already dead, it's not like it can feel anything." He'd proceeded to stab the poor creature and the last boy had joined in on tormenting it despite Mai's request for them to stop...or maybe because of it, she admitted to herself.
The worst part ended up happening when the first tormentor traded his scalpel for a pipette and started joking suggestively while prodding the mouse's privates. The pipette looked way too big for the mouse to receive, but that didn't stop him from plunging it in and making worse comments. The "joke" had ended up triggering some of the worst memories from Mai's entire abduction and all of a sudden it had been her lying belly up, being plunged into and being the one referred to as the "cute little mouse."
I never realized that memories could be triggered and take over like that until that happened. Later in the week she'd found an article about it on the internet. The article had called what she'd experienced a flashback and explained that it was a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD for short. To Mai, the word "flashback," still seemed too tame a word to describe the phenomenon. Even though it was all in her head, she'd been flung back into that room, reliving her memories-the ways they touched and talked to her, the sights, sounds, smells, emotions-she'd experienced each of them all over again. I still can't believe how disconnected I was to my actual surroundings while I was trapped in my memories...
Simply reflecting on what happened in class was bringing on similar results, to the point where she could feel a phantom of what it was like to have them inside her, causing feelings of disgust and fear to swell. Unlike the way it had been in class, however, it wasn't a total immersion, but it was still enough to make her feel sick. Once she began remembering how trapped, betrayed, and violated she'd felt during the worst part of it, Mai immediately tried to back out of the memory before she could be dragged in further. With a sideways twitch of her head, she subconsciously slammed the door on the toxic memories.
I'm so lucky to have Michiru and Keiko as my best friends. During the incident in class, Mai had instantly felt sick and queasy and what had started with a small desire to hide quickly grew into a desperate need and she'd fled the room. She'd found out later that Keiko had covered for her in class by telling the teacher that she was feeling unwell earlier that morning and that Michiru would make sure she got to the nurse's office. Keiko, herself, stayed and took notes for the three of them. Mai was extremely glad for her quick thinking and that Michiru had immediately jumped up after her and followed her out. I don't think I would have found my way to the bathroom without Michiru. It's only thanks to her that I could even get into the stall before I started vomiting. She even helped hold my hair back. Afterwards, when the cold, white-tiled walls started setting Mai off again, Michiru had encouraged her to call Naru and he was able to help Mai calm down in a timely manner. Michiru and Keiko managed to get me through the rest of school that day. If they hadn't been around I might have skipped the rest of my classes and just hidden away from everyone. I might have even been stuck in a loop of bad memories and vomit...Her face screwed up in disgust at the thought and she decided to move on.
Compared to Monday, Tuesday was a good day. Mai had woken with the need to vomit once again, but, thankfully, no memories had been triggered like the day before and she'd managed to get through the rest of the average feeling day with a fairly genuine smile on her face. It had definitely made that evening with the Davis couple, Naru, Aria and Lin-san a whole lot better than Monday night's get together had gone. That first night, Naru had kept glancing at her every few seconds almost as if he was worried she might be a bomb ready to explode and everyone else had been on edge and overall the night had been quiet or awkward. On Tuesday evening, everyone seemed calm and relaxed which made the discussion around the dinner table much more pleasant.
Then there was Wednesday...Mai could feel her emotions turn dark again just thinking of it. Wednesday had started out great-at least she'd arrived at school in a good mood-but when she found a handwritten note in her locker asking her to meet the writer in the gym at lunch, she started feeling unsure and decided to talk with Michiru and Keiko. After they'd all analysed the letter together, her two friends had suggested that the writer was most likely an admirer and suggested that it might be best for Mai to meet him, if only to kindly refuse him.
In the end, it turned out that the letter had come from her classmate, Ushiwaka-kun. Mai had immediately paused when she peeked a glimpse of him waiting for her in the gym. He'd been one of the three boys she'd been assigned to dissect the mouse with...the one who had inadvertently started the chain of events that had led to her fleeing the room and having a dismal day on Monday. After recalling Monday's incident, she'd realized that he hadn't meant for anything to happen when he'd told the group that he felt bad for the cute little mouse lying stomach up on the tray.
After the realization, she'd felt guilty about hiding from him just outside the gym and decided that she would approach him. After all, he hadn't joined in trying to stab or prod the mouse. He hadn't even laughed along with the other two, but...now that Mai was thinking back on it days later, knowing now that he liked her and how stubborn he'd been about wanting to date her, she thought that maybe he might have only been holding back from the conversation to raise her opinion of him-to make her more inclined to accept his feelings.
Now, she wished she hadn't approached him. His parents hit the nail on the head when naming him. You'd think that someone would try to act differently than their name implies when their name literally meant something as bad as "young bull." Who would want others thinking of them as a stubborn ox that goes straight for what he wants?
She sighed, almost scared to remember the incident, but it came to mind anyway. After she'd worked up the courage to go listen to his confession, Ushiwaka-kun started off by apologizing and expressing his condolences for the way his friends had acted on Monday. He mentioned that he'd hoped it wouldn't reflect poorly on him and admitted that he'd liked her for several months before he could scrounge up enough courage to ask her out. He'd professed that her absence had only made him miss her and want to date her even more.
Regardless of his words, Mai had apologized that she couldn't return his feelings and started walking away, but he'd stubbornly refused to accept her answer. Instead, he'd grabbed her by the wrist and cornered her against some mats that someone had left stacked up against the wall, trapping her between the mats and his body. After pleading that she "try him out," by going on a date with him before completely refusing the idea, Mai told him that she already had a boyfriend and was unavailable. The look of surprise he'd given her had morphed and his eyes had narrowed as if he thought she'd been making up a lie before he'd responded, "Now, now, don't be that way. You'll like it." The unexpected response echoed those of her attacker just after he'd come back for seconds with her. Mai remembered going from mildly angry to drowning in anxiety in moments.
Trying to detach her thoughts from the fear welling up once again, Mai turned her thoughts to her friends. I wonder if Ushiwaka-kun wouldn't have been so pushy if they'd come into the gym with me and not just waited outside. After thinking about it longer she sighed and concluded, Who am I kidding? There would have been problems regardless. He was SO stupidly stubborn! Even after she'd pulled out the necklace holding the promise ring to prove that she wasn't lying he didn't seem to believe her. In fact, Ushiwaka-kun only became more forceful, leaning closer and putting even more weight into pinning her against the mat. He'd refused to let her leave and insisted that she'd like being his girlfriend better than being with whoever she was with now and, as if to prove his words, he planted a kiss on her lips. It was the kiss that had ended up being the final catalyst needed to instantly overwhelm her with a flood of memories.
Thank goodness Mishiru and Keiko came along with me. The next thing she'd known of reality, she was on the floor with her friends hovering over her with matching looks of concern. In hindsight, Mai wondered if she'd passed out or something because, when she looked around, she'd noticed that the principal was also there, guiding Ushiwaka-kun out of the gym and talking about detention or a possible suspension.
It wasn't long afterwards that she'd been called to the office to speak with the principal as well. After hearing her testimony of what happened, the principal had assured her that he'd tell Ushiwara to stay away from her, but his reassurance did little to help calm her fears. Mai couldn't stop wondering if Ushiwaka-kun would obey the principal and stay away or if she'd be seeing him after school. It wasn't even an hour later that Mai had worried herself sick enough that her PE teacher had ordered her to go to the nurse's office. In the end, she'd requested to leave school early.
Looking back, it upset her that she'd overreacted and forced so many people to worry over her so much and that she'd inconvenienced her friends, her teacher, her principal, the school nurse, Naru, Lin; maybe even Aria and Naru's parents too. "Why couldn't I have just calmed down when I got the chance to talk with Naru over the phone," she whined to herself quietly. She found herself crying harder knowing that he'd eventually had to come pick her up with Lin and she realized that she felt guilty that she'd pulled them away from their work so selfishly. After taking a moment to think about it, she concluded, I don't think I would do things any differently if I could go back, though. The fear and unease she'd been feeling had only started subsiding once she'd gotten in the car and they were on their way back to the hotel. Her feelings of safety and peace had only grown the further they drove away from the school and Ushiwaka-kun and she couldn't bring herself to regret her actions.
Keiko called me later that night with news that Ushiwaka-kun had gotten suspended so I knew that I didn't have to deal with him for the rest of the week at least-which was a huge relief- but that didn't stop Naru from worrying.
Mai had to sigh when she thought of what had happened the next morning. Naru's concern for her had been so intense that she'd been able to feel his anxiety almost like it was a physical barrier around him. On top of the fear, Naru was irritable and Mai suspected he hadn't gotten much sleep. He really didn't want me going back to school so soon and maybe I should have given into his wishes. She hugged herself tighter. I almost did...but because of the argument that ensued, I ended up going to school instead, like an idiot, just to prove that I could.
Michiru and Keiko had stuck close to her the entire day so nothing had happened on Thursday, but there had been several times that she wished she could have openly worn her promise ring. If she could, more of the guys might have taken the hint and stayed away from her, but openly wearing jewelry was against the rules-one that was unlikely to be bent. Mai had to sigh and be grateful that the school officials were thoughtful enough to bend the rules they had for her sake when they'd allowed her to have a job and carry a phone as long as she only used it during break times or lunch.
She'd taken full advantage of her privilege to call Naru during her breaks-even if it was just to reassure him that she was alright. All in all everything went well and it almost felt like a normal school day.
Today, school was wonderful. Mai had been able to act normal enough and laugh with her friends. To her relief, it had felt like all the bad things were starting to go away, like they'd just been some kind of bad dream. In fact, there was absolutely no fear in her when her friends had gone the extra mile to escort her to the train station. She'd felt like she could take on the world or at least a case and had every intention of going into work to surprise Naru.
Everything had gone well up until they'd nearly reached the last station. It was then that she'd been forced into another flashback. It was the worst one she had to relive the entire week and it was all because of a dumb mistake on her part.
Still laying on her bed, Mai blew her nose and wiped away the newest downpour of tears as she thought over the details. The train had been decently packed, but it wasn't as crowded as it could have been. There was still plenty of room to stand without having to bump into others. She'd been surrounded and slightly anxious about the fact at first, but, in time, it comforted her to see the normal fair of people: various students who she presumed were either going home or maybe even shopping in Shibuya, like the few fashionable women she'd seen in the car with her, chatting about what they planned on buying; Also on board the train were a few men in suits who might have been going to work like she had been or perhaps they were going home.
One of the younger men, maybe in his late twenties had crouched down presumably to tie his shoe, but he also placed his phone down on the ground next to her with it's screen on. Fearing that he might be a perv trying to take a picture up her skirt, she'd taken a couple steps back and accidentally brushed her backside up against someone and something hard had been thrust into her. It made contact in just such a way that it sent pain shooting through her and made her stumble back to where she'd been standing. It was then that the train had begun to stop and her momentum caused her to overstep and start falling on the guy still tying his shoes. The poor guy, in his attempt to not be trampled, threw up his arms to prevent her fall. One of his hands had come in contact with her still bruised thigh, the other had flown up her skirt to cup her from the front.
The feeling of the guy's hands on her is what thrust her into her memories, including a set that she hadn't realized she'd been aware of. In shock, she'd fallen backwards and scrambled away, barely hearing the guy's hurried apology. She'd failed to apologize, herself. As soon as the doors had opened, she'd bolted, delirious with the need to run and hide, but hiding didn't free her from the memories or the pain. Mai had ended up reliving the majority of the experience and sinking back down into despair, fear, nausea and a flux of phantom sensations.
This time, when she'd started calming down from her most recent episode, she'd found Naru holding her close and muttering calming words and reassurances while Lin-san was keeping other passerby away. Somehow she'd ended up under a set of stairs leading back up to the street level with her pack nowhere in sight. They'd left for the office once she was a bit calmer, but only long enough for Naru to grab a few of his things for the day and take her back to the hotel and Aria.
I wouldn't have pegged Naru as being so caring just a few weeks ago, but I don't think I was alone in that sentiment but he's changed...at least around me. It's almost a shock how different he's become since I got abducted and...r-raped. Just thinking the word was so difficult for her and brought on flashes of memory and a sense of darkness ghosting around the edges of her mind.
I really don't understand why Naru still wants me or what I did to deserve such a caring boyfriend. It's not like I really have anything substantial to offer him. He's got brains, looks, money and power in spades. I bet he could have literally anyone he wants, so why is he settling for me of all people? I'm an idiot, poor, and clumsy...not to mention, I'm damaged goods and it's not like that's going to change. Even though I don't want to remember the memories of what happened in that place, they've been popping up like demon daisies wherever I go and I'm not sure it will ever end. A part of her couldn't believe that her attackers were really gone for good. They'd been so strong, so inhuman, that part of her expected them to just show up the same way they had on that first night and carry her off again.
Mai slowly uncurled, desperate for something else to think about or at least some movement to help distract her from her fears. As she paced the floor, she thought about trying to finish her homework, but then recalled that she'd lost her school bag. The thought naturally only reminded her of what happened earlier. Sitting back on the edge of her bed, Mai put her head in her hands.
Naru is going to want me to take some more time off from school. This time… this time I don't think I'll fight him on it. Maybe I can make some arrangements to work on school assignments from home. I just hope I don't fall behind…I suppose I could surprise Naru and take him up on his offer to tutoring me. She sighed at the trouble she'd be getting herself into if she did so, but maybe it's better than the constant threat being around so many other people could bring. She shuddered at the thought. A pair of tears slipped from her eyes as she thought, Nothing will ever be the same again, will it...
At that moment, Mai heard a soft knock on her bedroom door along with Naru's muffled query of, "Mai, may I come in?"
Just the sound of his voice was like a soothing balm, already calming her agitated heart. She wiped her eyes and nose with a tissue before responding as clearly as she could, "Yes, please come in." Sitting up, she trained her eyes on the door and watched it open. Her eyes met the concerned eyes of her boyfriend.
If this moment had happened only a few weeks ago, she suspected that he would have asked how she was doing, but now, with his newly developed ability to read her emotions, he probably already knew. Instead he sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and asked, "Is there anything I can do for you, Mai? I don't like seeing you upset for so long."
Mai looked away only to slowly nod and quietly state "Can you help me make arrangements with the school so that I can still do my school work without having to attend any more?"
Her request was met with silence, and, curious at his lack of response, she looked back in time to watch his tense shoulders relax and his eyes soften, "I think that's a very good idea," he said with a quiet warmth. He pulled her closer. "I know I've been pressuring you about taking time off school, but I don't want you to do it simply because it's what I think is best. Are you sure this is what you want?"
At Mai's nod he let out a relieved sigh and began rubbing her back. "Alright," he whispered against her temple before placing a chaste kiss there. "I'm glad you came to the decision yourself. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
In response Mai leaned her head on his shoulder and whispered, "Please, just hold me."
Anyone else have a similar story from biology? Technically, though, the experience with dissection displayed here was from my experience in HS Marine Biology so it wasn't a mouse. -Koujinbutsu
