Hello, everyone! I hope everyone's day/night has been going well. I've been thinking about writing this for a day or two and finally just decided to do it.
This story is set maybe a week or two after the Teen Titans episode Birthmark. Raven is still highly troubled considering the horrific destiny she will have to face not too long from now and the harrowing encounter with her demon father. But lately, she's been having nightmares about someone else...
This story has darker implications and descriptions of violence- so if that may trigger you at all, I advise you to go ahead and click away from this story.
I actually kind of have an original OC for the Teen Titans that I created myself- I want to know if you all would maybe want to hear about her? Let me know in the reviews.
Anyways- I think that's about it! I don't own the Teen Titans, and happy reading!
Raven was not going to go to sleep.
That was simply it. The only solution. It was the only way.
It was the only way to avoid the bad dreams. They made her sick to her stomach.
The first few days after her birthday- the most miserable birthday in the history of birthdays- her nightmares had been about Trigon. Having to surrender to him. Having to accept her gruesome fate. Her newly discovered and unwanted ability to stop time just by shouting. And worst of all, turning into Trigon- or someone like him. Raven pushed these thoughts out of her head so much during the day that they all resurfaced at night with a vengeance. She'd wake up because of them, try to get back to sleep, and then when she finally did, they'd return right where they left off. There was just no escaping them, and having to confront her fears in dreams; where she had very little control over her brain because she was unconscious; scared her far more than she'd expected or wanted it to.
But those nightmares had stopped. Those had been about the future and what Raven would have to eventually face. Now they were about the day of her birthday- especially a certain part- and they were so violently disgusting Raven would wake up and instantly throw up all over the floor beside her bed. Then she'd have to get up and clean the mess as well as eliminate the smell to prevent her teammates finding out.
It was possible that her teammates could have helped her with her dreams. But Raven was enough of a burden to them. She was quite literally the embodiment of Armageddon- a ticking time bomb set to kill everyone she loved and far many more innocent people. Innocent children. She was the product of a brutal rape, the child of a hideously evil demon lord. She was stubborn and rude and sarcastic and weak. And she was afraid if she piled anything more on her friends, they'd collapse under the weight.
She knew that they would stop at almost nothing to try and help her.
No. It was enough that Raven had kept the secret of her destiny from her teammates and her parentage. If she couldn't handle it, they couldn't. She would just have to try and keep her nightmares a secret and hope they went away with time.
And in order to do that, she would simply not go to sleep- at least for tonight. Her demon side enabled her to last through the nights longer than typical humans- demons didn't sleep. They were too busy destroying people.
It was better to be tired all the time than to dump yet another problem on the Titans. Raven could manage- at least for a few days. But what would she do when she couldn't last any longer without sleep?
She didn't want to think about that.
It had been some time, and Raven had attempted to execute her plan. The first night without sleep had gone fine. She had gone into her room when it was time to turn in- but then came right back out once her friends had all disappeared into their bedrooms. Mostly she'd just read books- but at one point she headed outside of the Tower. She didn't go far- all she did was sit outside on the rock that the Titans Tower stood on, watching the dark, turbulent waves that crashed up against the shore.
The second day was a bit more difficult- Raven's eyelids felt heavy all day, and she did a lot of yawning- but thankfully, her teammates didn't seem to notice. She had tried to eat more in order to try and get some more energy for the night- but nonetheless, her resolve was slipping.
By the third day, it seemed her progress had split in half. Her pale face was ever paler and her eyes were half-closed the whole day. She had not been meditating for fear of accidentally drifting off- which meant her head was just as exhausted as her body was. There were dark circles beginning to form under her eyes- which her friends did, in fact, notice, and made several concerned comments on them.
Raven had been too tired to even give them a look.
"What you have concealed, you shall become!" Slade swung his arm at the trembling Raven and took a rough, almost painful hole on the back of her plum-colored cloak- and ripped it straight off of her back as if it was paper, throwing the severed fabric aside. Raven collapsed with a sharp inhale onto her hands and knees, feeling the rough ground scrape her skin, and winced once the air hit her open wounds. Her entire bare back was exposed, ominously glowing marks all down her ivory skin.
As Slade towered over her menacingly, she whipped her head toward him, baring her teeth in defiance and a snarl as she got to her feet swiftly and swung an arm at him, eyes glowing fiercely in uncontrolled fury.
"No!" Shimmering black energy began to surround the outline of Raven's body- but it dissipated the second Slade's cold, firm hand snatched her thin wrist, stopping her momentum. With a gasp of panic, she impulsively slung her other arm at him- but the masked mastermind promptly blocked this attempt at a blow as well. His one cold, hard, grey eye narrowed as he forced Raven's arms down with a grunt, Raven struggling against him as he brought her arms down behind her back, giving the frightened empath no choice but to keep her arms idle.
"Your destiny shall be fulfilled," Slade snarled acidly, the demonic scarlet-red mark on his forehead as luminescent as ever as his eye met Raven's- the stare felt electrically charged.
Suddenly, all the breath rushed from Raven's lungs as her mind processed Slade's statement. In a terrifying flashback, she recalled the incident in her bedroom earlier that day- the room engulfed in burning flames, the thick, black smoke that coated her lungs and rendered her unable to speak- and the chilling, disembodied voice that had spoken to her. It had said something familiar-
Your destiny shall be fulfilled.
Raven jolted her head up, facing the sky; red with fire, ahead of her. Slade had already been a frighteningly formidable foe- but this made him infinitely worse.
Slade was serving Raven's father.
Slade worked for Trigon.
Raven was about to try to break free from Slade's steel grip- but all at once, there was a slashing, burning agony on her forehead- right in the area where her ajna chakra sat. She felt herself stumble backwards- and suddenly, pain began to erupt all over her body- like volcanoes. Tortured groans emitted from her mouth as her uniform began to shred away- revealing even more forbidding, searing marks until she was left with only scraps of tattered clothing to cover her breasts and genitalia, everything else having been burned off. Raven's breathing began to speed up in panic as Slade's face filled her vision- and behind him, the sun and moon began to rapidly cycle in the sky- light, dark, light, dark, light, dark. Raven, now feeling disoriented, felt violet hair climb down her back as days passed like seconds.
All of a sudden, the hold on her arms tightened even more, if that was possible- and Slade yanked her body around to face his own, the glint in his eye threatening as the eye scanned Raven's exposed body. The sorceress' breath hitched- and she thrashed once more in his arms, desperately trying to break free and run away- anywhere at all. She couldn't move- she felt totally helpless, and before she knew it, hot tears were dripping down her face, which was burning in humiliation. Blood dried and hardened on her knees and the palms of her hands stung relentlessly, causing her to dig her nails into her lower hands. She had given this maniac the satisfaction of seeing her break down- Raven couldn't see this getting any worse. She shut her throbbing eyes, completely freezing- she didn't know what else to do. It didn't feel like she could do anything else.
Abruptly, Slade slammed the girl's body down onto the roof of the building the two were standing on top of- and the blow made Raven actually start to cough as the air was once again torn from her lungs. For a brief second, she saw stars, and then nothing- but her vision refocused again, bringing the looming figure of Slade back into view.
"Get off of me!" Raven screamed, her usual monotone nowhere to be heard, and was instead replaced with piercing shrieks full of alarm. Her eyes were wide and glassy as she turned her head this way and that, trying to avoid Slade's gaze. His hands were firmly latched onto her upper arms, pinning the demoness' body to the floor. Raven's chest heaved wildly, and her body glistened with sweat- but this only made the teenager appeal to the sadistic madman even more.
Raven's eyes began to flicker a fluorescent white again as she tried to muster her powers- but could not as her emotions were too out of control. And for a very brief moment- a pair of foreboding red eyes that were slits appeared on Raven's face. But they were soon gone- and she was back to being weak.
Raven could practically see the smirk behind Slade's mask- it made her want to jump right up and kill him. But her limbs felt like jelly- the blow to her back when he'd basically smashed her onto the ground had definitely done its share of damage. She was definitely badly bruised by now, and her skull felt almost cracked. Blood began to spill from her lips and she began to cry again. She wished her friends were here.
She wished her mother was here.
"Don't look so afraid, birthday girl," Slade hissed, his breath hot on her face through the vents of his mask. He was leaned over Raven's body, legs on either side of the girl's thin frame. "Your father has been quite gracious- and he has allowed me to give you a little present."
Now he was so close Raven could practically feel the cold metal of his visor on her nose- and she suddenly felt rough hands travel down to her waist, his fingers slimy and disgusting on her skin. She tried to squirm out of his painful grip, heart pounding as it dawned on her what her "present" would be.
Not. Going. To happen.
A rush of adrenaline coursed through the wizardress' veins and she belligerently lifted her head as swiftly as she could directly into Slade's own head- knocking his head back and jerking his neck fit to behead him. Raven, her forehead pulsing with pain, felt a pang of triumph in her chest, and allowed her head to relax.
But the much stronger and more experienced man was only slightly thrown off for about fifteen seconds from the sudden attack- and therefore Raven wasn't able to get too far out of his vicinity before he snatched her again, his pupils only slits.
"You'll pay for that, little girl," Slade rasped, and Raven's eyes widened in fear as she was thrown underneath him again. This time the blow was more effective- it made Raven begin to feel dizzy and disoriented, her vision fading in and out; every inch of her body aching ceaselessly.
She was vaguely aware of movement from Slade- and it wasn't towards her, which her foggy mind took as a good sign. Maybe he'd come to his senses- well, as much sense as the psychopath could come to.
But then- it felt like a knife was being pressed into her groin, and Raven let out a scream of agony, writhing against the scabrous ground. Burning pain flared up in between her legs and she felt her eyes glaze over as more blood began to pool beneath her body. The knife, the sharp ripping inside of her moved back and forth and back and forth and back and forth-
Raven jolted up in her bed, dried tears and sweat on her cheeks, and without thinking, she stumbled out of her bed, legs wobbly and weak, rushing to the bathroom as fast as she could. But her legs melted underneath her, and she fell to the ground with a pained groan. Her stomach abruptly twisted, and for a second the pain was so great that she saw white- then she bent over, clutching her stomach like it would fall straight out of her body otherwise, and threw up all over the floor.
The next minute or so was the same cycle, repeating over and over in an excruciating uniform pattern- until there was nothing left in Raven and she was dry heaving instead of vomiting. She sat there, on her knees on the ground, gasping for air and a vile taste in her mouth, which was dry, her lips cracked and ashy as well.
Frantically, she patted herself down- making sure her clothes were still intact. They were- her leotard wasn't tattered and her cloak was hanging in her closet. Breathing hard, she looked over her skin- no scalding marks. Her hair was its usual length and the city outside her window wasn't in ruins. Nothing was on fire- and Slade didn't have her by the arms, on the ground...
Raven swallowed hard- although there wasn't much to swallow. Her lips quivering, she surveyed her bedroom, not remembering how she'd ended up in here.
And she'd fallen asleep.
Of course she had.
Raven thought a little while, still wheezing- it just didn't seem air was coming into her lungs. Strands of her hair were plastered in a sticky mess of sweat all over her face, and her face felt stiff from the tears. She didn't bother getting up off the ground- she'd just end up down there again; her legs being too weak to support her weight for the time being. Her bedroom was dark- and the moon was out. She wondered how long she'd been asleep.
She stared blankly into nothing for a minute, a melancholy expression on her face, before finally coming up with an answer to how she'd ended up in her bedroom.
The last thing she remembered was sitting on the couch with her friends in the common room, watching a news report about themselves on television. It was possible she'd fallen asleep on the couch, finally succumbing to her fatigue- and from there her friends, likely Cyborg, had probably brought her to her bed, where she'd fallen asleep and now it was nighttime.
Raven grimaced as a shock of pain exploded in her stomach again, but thankfully she didn't start throwing up again. She felt drowsy and a little discombobulated as well as somewhat sad- which was strange.
She sighed plaintively, tugging at a strand of violet hair. If this kept happening, she wouldn't be able to keep her nightmares a secret from her friends much longer. With their emotional bond, Robin probably already knew something was wrong. Raven's mind felt unfamiliar and scary- she didn't want to be left alone with it.
The incident with Slade on her birthday had really shaken her up, though she tried her best not to show it. At first it was random and unwanted flashbacks to his hands on her arms, then being dangerously close to completely naked in front of the man, and then him proceeding to force her to look at her cataclysmic fate and what she was destined to do to the planet. There were times were, if Raven stayed very still and didn't breathe, she could feel herself falling off of the building that Slade had dropped her off of. She found herself thinking about it even though she didn't want to. It had started to invade every aspect of her days- and now it was her sleep.
Raven peered down at the ground, downcast and eyes filling with tears. All she wanted was the nightmares to stop- was that too much to ask? If she couldn't even seek refuge in sleep or meditation, she wasn't even going to make it to the end of the world.
The water pooling in her eyes finally spilled over, and Raven wiped the tears away roughly in vain. If these dreams had someone like her crying on her bedroom floor in the middle of the night in a pool of her own vomit...
No. That was out of the question. How could she even consider telling her friends? It was selfish. The dreams were stupid anyway- she'd known her birthday was coming; and that it would suck. It was careless of her to not prepare for this. Maybe she just deserved it.
Raven, feeling alone and desolate, brought her knees to her face and buried her head in her arms.
And then there was a knock on the door.
Raven didn't answer. Maybe they'd go away if whoever was there thought she was sleeping. None of her friends, not even Robin, needed to see her like this.
There was silence on the other side of the door for some time, and Raven thought that the person had gone away. But no- there was another knock, a little louder this time.
Raven turned her head so her face was out of her arms, but her head was still resting on them. Her face was wet with tears and her eyes felt puffy and stung, vision blurry.
"Go away, please," Raven pleaded with the knocker, but they persisted. Eventually, Raven quickly wiped her tears, blinked several times to look as not upset as possible, scrambled up into her bed into a sitting position, legs under the blankets. Then she opened the door telekinetically to reveal Cyborg, hand on his hairless head and eyebrows creased. He looked tired- but also concerned as he stepped into the room, meeting Raven's eyes.
"Raven, I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to give an honest answer. Are you okay?"
Raven tried to hold Cyborg's gaze for a few more seconds, but couldn't and dropped her head with a sob. "I- no. I don't... I don't think so." Her voice was quivering and she hid her face in her hands, resolve cracking.
Cyborg was alarmed- he wasn't used to seeing his little sister figure like this. It made him sad- so he slowly walked over to Raven's bed, noting with a discordant note in his head the pool of drying vomit; sat beside her, and wrapped an arm around her body silently.
Raven stiffened once she felt his hand on her- physical contact made her jumpy rather than peeved after her birthday.
But something in her just didn't want to resist anymore.
With a long, shuddering breath, she let her body fall into Cyborg's, knees huddled to her chin and arms coiled around her exposed legs. Cyborg, eyes full of pain for Raven despite not knowing what she was going through, pulled her dark blue blanket around her shoulders in an attempt to soothe her. He knew she was hurting and would do anything to help.
Raven buried herself in Cyborg's arms and cried.
