Transcendence

"NO LOKI,"

Hearing those 2 single words straight from Odin became an eternity and nothingness at the same time for Loki at that single moment before he decided in letting go.

The jagged rainbow edges that remained of the Bifrost were distancing above him as he was falling straight to the entrance of the primordial void that was created from the Bifrost's destruction by Thor. The glowing shards of the bridge along with the faces of his brother and father were suspended above him as they grew farther in number from his view before finally the light of the very universe itself disappeared into nothingness as he fell further and further, empty darkness all around was all there was left to greet Loki.

Within the primordial void being outside the physical universe, thinking he would go mad with insanity to the silence and vastness of the void whether he was falling still or now suspended like the rainbow fragments of the bridge where everything was darkness and silence. The glowing spheres of magic he once could usually cast in mastery while facing Thor were no longer there at his command with nothing to illuminate, he even was unable to even scream a long-sustained howl with desire while the sound was only ringing in his mind though there was surely nothing to carry the said howl in the vast emptiness. The worst scenario to happen was discovering to himself that he had no need for breath in this void between the realms, therefore it seemed Loki's body was now in a state of limbo between life and death itself for all of eternity as his final desperate hope were despairingly useless beyond his control. This caused him to wonder hysterically if this very oblivion was how the mortals of Midgard envisioned death as their main fear. No wonder they clung so desperately to their feeble short lives.

Loki had been expecting to die after letting go, believing with all his might that Hel would claim him soon after everything that happened from his brother's coronation to his failure in proving that he was Odin's son and not a monster from the world of frost giants. Loki had hoped entering dear Hela's realm could only be a release for his soul but even that mercy was denied to him as punishment.

It was here, Loki finally decided to give up as he was unable to close or operate in using his eyes not that it mattered in the surrounding darkness and then surrendered himself completely to the void as he had passed dormant into the deep recesses of his mind where only his thoughts and memories remained. For a long time while he collected each of these thoughts while looking back at all of his memories of the times of his life where Thor had always been the Centre of Asgards' attention and love even to their father while he remained in the shadows in comparison always with disappointment and ridicule for his interest in magic, his use of trickery and his own mischievous nature. Considering his true origins as a frost giant he shouldn't be surprised that he was born to fail as an Aesir. The only person who had loved him and acknowledged for himself without comparison to Thor was his mother Frigga who always treated her sons equally as separate individuals and even personally taught Loki magic herself but even with her, Loki had failed with his last actions of betrayal for the throne in order to appease Odin perspective for his approval, attention and love at Loki's own worthiness.

Then again, now that Loki was in the void, he had no choice but to evaluate the brutal truth to himself with no room for self-imposed, compassionate lies with there being no hope or sign of returning back to the physical universe.

Few are able to when faced with the truth as all beings including Loki himself have a tendency of not liking what they see in their own reflection of what they really are as a person, after all with the habit of pretending that they are not related to things they are against.

With this new perspective, Loki had realized he had crippled his own growth and individuality for his own need of attention blindly. It didn't help that his own mischievous nature and silver tongue that often helped him make his pranks and escaping from being caught though it did place him the reputation and identity for untrustworthy and a lie-smith. He even threw away his younger self in growing up from when he was a child and carefree, when there were still no comparisons yet between the two princes. By his own damn choices in making Thor the king Asgard needed and a greater hero in aspect in trying to appease his jealousy for his brother from being under Thor's shadow along for his own self-worth and yet when faced with the decision to back away, he was consumed by his resentment for himself and his own emotional torment in discovering his true origin and parentage. He had blindly put the other foot based only of his emotions without thinking of the consequences of his actions and not even thinking thoroughly with his intelligence and cunningness carefully for one reason or another.

Loki listened to this new self-evaluation with seriousness because he was interested in hearing what he himself had to say as his own words struck something unnatural and sensitive inside of him with increasing anger.

Loki wondered if he had possessed the ability to influence so many lives of Asgard so easily if he had planned cautiously with his intelligence instead of rushing to prove his own worth, yet he didn't even bother seeing what was truly wrong about the nature of the role he had played on himself to the fullest, he had recklessly tried to implement his rushed plans using his skills and trickery out in the broad daylight itself for all to see instead of using it in the shadows as he did before. With Heimdall himself as evidence in how recklessly he did everything. In the end he had given up on the worth of his own skills within the shadows and had failed in adapting when he became king. It was plain example of giving up on yourselves without even knowing it, even all his once so-called friends chose to save his brother Thor instead of following him, revealing the brutal truth that he never belonged or was accepted by Asgard itself. How foolish he was for not accurately comprehending why his own demise came to be.

As the moments passed, each of his thoughts and memories became one until his very mind was in complete unity and wholeness with no stray thoughts or parts of is mind remaining separate anymore. It was only then that Loki had come to a realization that within the void while his body remained in limbo and his magic was no longer accessible to him beyond his very control, his mind for some reason was still surprisingly active and stable within the depths of the primordial void for some unknown reason.

Loki had theorized that it may have to do with his mental training and imagery from youth in training until it became second nature since when it came to using his magic, the mastery of his mental self and use of his imagination was an essential and vital foundation for any sorcerer in order to use their magic to place their will on the fabric of the very surface of reality itself especially one as powerful as him in order to succeed in duplication casting of creating a complete and perfect illusion of himself from his very appearance and presence down to the very molecule as well as an example.

Loki had also remembered theories and accounts from other scholars and sorcerers about the void that were no longer experimented towards since it involved the fear of losing one-self to nothingness and due to magic itself being completely useless in accessing and searching the void. This resulted in complete failure to every sorcerer in researching the void to complete nothingness resulting in making sure the said theory remained exactly that, an untested yet forbidden theory where it stated that nothing could survive in the primordial void since there was no physical connection from the void to the rest of the universe as the presence of the stated void existed outside of space and time itself.

Since Loki was now in the Void with certainty from the said theory that maybe it was right about nothing physical could survive in the void due to loss of one's own physical connection to the universe itself when entering the void as evidenced of his physical body being in complete limbo and his magic being nonexistent, yet the void was still somehow sustainable to Loki's mental aspect of being.

Instantly, Loki then came to a simple yet embarrassed understanding that he was still operating with the same nature of trying to use his physical senses naturally as if he was still connected to them since being in the reality of the physical universe itself his entire life before he fell instead of using his mental aspects and imagination to explore the reality of the void, and he thought he was naturally more intelligent than Thor at everything, how embarrassing is this yet somehow still surprising and amusing at the simple statement.

With this Loki began to feel excited anew as if he was going to learn the wonders of magic again from his mother for the first time, putting aside that precious memory of his in believing he was able to now explore the primordial void's own unique reality as if he was an explorer of new lands. With this new discovery while keeping his usual and now narrow understanding of the physical universe away from his instincts with hope and despair both clinging to him at the same time.

Loki decided his first step was using mediation in creating a transcendence from his physical state of senses and understanding to a new mental state using purely his imagination as in reminiscence of being a newly born infant being brought into the world or in this case the void for the first time. After a while if there even was even a sense of time within the void, Loki had no longer felt a sense of normal during his meditations being more of a ghost, drifting and aloof, his mental awareness immediately expanded, allowing his very being to extend far beyond his body.

Loki had begun to sense the presence of whispers from the Void itself hovering at the edge of his awareness, there but not at the same time. It was little wonder that no sorcerer had never emerged successful in learning of the void using magic, mostly becoming in being far less sane than before when they had tried entering it only by a fraction while still being tethered to the physical plane since their perception as a corporeal being too limited. This is because since the mind was mostly constrained to the physical body and only magic was capable of allowing the mind to travel outside the body in order to influence the fabric of the physical reality. Therefore, a person could not operate while still being attached to their physical sense of self, after all here in the void where magic itself was non-existent and the physical body was in a state of limbo between life and death, the mind had the potential to extend itself without any limit or constraint which was harmful unless they fully fell into the void with no return like Loki did.

He felt his physical body began to unspool as his mind was no longer being constrained by it allowing his imagination to form his new mental self and body, adapting to the presence and whispers of the void. There were no words to describe how he felt just now, it simply was fascinating and Loki could feel the border between his physical body and his mental being was starting to become nebulous as his mind start to take on the same ethereal quality as his body in becoming purely one within the void.

Slowly his mental being of self-allowed colors to bleed back in the form of green, gold, beige and black becoming his own image and presence formed in reflection to his physical body. Finally, Loki's body dissolved into dazzling wisps of energy transcending the physical realm it once was apart of as a glittering remembrance of incandescent energy of green and gold before melding and becoming purely one with his new mental presence.

After the transcendence finished, Loki felt himself true in his form yet he was still surrounded by darkness in the emptiness of the void, only to realize once again in embarrassment to the simplicity of the problem and its solution. Loki had all but forgotten like all infants conceived in the darkness, they had to first open their eyes to the beginning of a new.

Well, here it is my first ever fanfiction written with a few inspirations from other fanfics in making this. I will admit I'm not sure about my grammar honestly and hopefully the story will be good. I hope you readers like it.

Please give me your most honest reviews and criticisms.

Thanking you in advance for reading my fanfic.