"Oh, i think we have a winner! I had a suit like this when I was 6."
"Ouch!" Penny winced, feeling her carefully cultivated fashion sense cringe in pain. "Sheldon no!"
"Why not?"
He twirls around in the pale blue suit with rhinestone details
She struggles to put something so obvious into words a crazy robot with the mind of a child can understand.
"Remember you made us sit through your Entire video about maritime distress flags?"
"Ah yes? Fun with flags episode 177, from Blue Peter to the Jolly Roger. "
She waved her arms, frustrated trying to explain something so obvious to someone so oblivious
"Well, what you wear is, it's like what flags you fly. and this says " Mock me, I'm a 6 year old Texan man-boy in distress and.. and .. my cargo may be on fire ", understand?"
He looked puzzled so she continued, determined to get through to him. "A good suit fits, it flatters, it makes you look good and it makes you feel good."
"I question your premise. How is a new suit going to make me feel good?"
"You know, sometimes when I'm feeling all stressed out about something, I go out and buy a cute top or a fun skirt, and I have a whole new outlook on life. "
" Don't you eventually realize you're just the same stressed-out person in a cute top or a fun skirt? "
" Yep, that's when I buy shoes. "
"Really" he tuts
She taps at her phone and finds the John Wick scene where he buys a suit "Watch this"
while he's distracted she returns to rummaging through the suit racks, eventually returning with a prize.
"Here, try this"
She handed him a dark well tailored suit
"But it's only one colour." he looks at the price tag. "that's a lot for just one colour!"
she flips the jacket open, the lining is a rich blood red
"ok, two colours" he concurs
"you're paying for the quality, the style, the cut and how it fits, not just the colour, ok?"
she puts her head in her hands.
"Look, does batman fight crime in a rhinestone cowboy outfit?"
"Of course not, he has a kevlar armoured Bat Suit and utility belt containing... "
she holds up her hand to cut him short before he could start listing the gadgets, she wasn't getting caught in THAT list again. Shark repellent bat spray indeed.
"Right, he dresses for the job. If you want to do things with normal people you have to dress right - think of a good suit as armour or camouflage, your Bat suit for fighting people not crime... "
"but I'm not."
"yes, you're not Batman. Just try it on, humour me."
"Very well." he shrugs and returns, slump shouldered, to the changing room.
" Oh, this'll never do. I look like a clown" he says as he walks from the changing room.
penny gawped, her heart suddenly in her throat. Somehow he's the same Sheldon but taller, darker and sleeker with an air of power and mystery she'd never seen on him before.
"No No No, Sheldon, that looks Good!"
really good she thinks, he almost looks hot in that.
what feels like hours Later.
"Fascinating. So, wearing similar styles of clothing to someone will make them think I am like them and give me an advantage in social interactions? And both being overly and underlie formally dressed at an event can cause insult to the host and others? My, it sure is a minefield"
Penny was tired. Shopping with Sheldon was so much more of a chore than she'd ever imagined, He didn't even know the basics of style and what colours went together. Though to his credit he did catch on fast once she managed to put it into Sheldon terms. Really fast. And the sheer glee he got from cracking the latest human puzzle gave her a warm glow. She chuckled to herself, You'll be a real boy one day Sheldon cooper.
But now she was dead on her feet and wanted nothing more than to sink into her sofa with a hot coffee. In fact she'd probably earned a glass of wine . a Glass or two in fact. Definitely two.
"Now I understand why important people choose an single outfit that suits them and buy multiple copies, so they don't have to think what to wear. choosing how you dress can be a very involved and complex decision. "
Behind her, Sheldon was loaded with suit bags and engrossed in reading an article on his phone about the historical significance of the placement of pocket squares .
He stopped. "Penny."
She turned, her shoulders slumped. she just wanted to go home. "What?"
"Thank you." His voice was calm and sincere.
"You're welcome, Sheldon. Now can we go? "
"No, you misunderstand. Thank You." He gestured at the store they'd stopped in front of. A shoe store. She goggled, mouth suddenly dry. The very up market shoe store she often looked longingly into the windows of. "As a thank you. For your time and patience. I read friends give each other gifts. And good girls get rewards"
"But. But. "
"One pair. Your choice, but in black. My treat. "
"really? OhMyGodSheldon... "She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him then squealed happily and raced in the store, tiredness suddenly forgotten.
He followed, a brief smile on his face.
Just like with the chocolates, good girls get rewards
