Bones Exposed - Nine

He wishes he could say what happened back then was unexpected. In an ideal world, the outburst would have been sudden and he wouldn't feel guilty about not preventing the events that followed.

The world has never been ideal.

Relationships are not always smooth sailing. Bubba knew this long before he met Marshall Lee. He was well aware arguments would be worse with an arrogant half-demon than they would with anyone else. He was also well aware that their increase in intensity and frequency were not a result of his own doing, nor was it intentional on Marshall Lee's side.

All of the signs were there. They were there for a long time, yet neither of them chose to acknowledge them.

He regrets that.

It had been steadily building up for several years, leaving only a short matter of time before the countdown reached zero and the bomb exploded.

That day - night, rather - was nothing short of absolutely horrific. The image of Marshall Lee crashing through buildings as his monster form overtakes him - size increasing, dark fur covering his body, tattered wings outstretched, glowing red eyes seething with hatred - is permanently etched into Bubba's amygdala and still haunts him in his sleep every now and then. He'd tried so hard to calm him down, but all of his efforts were for naught; Bubba couldn't get through to him at all. Marshall Lee had no control over himself and only displayed self-restraint when Bubba would try to get in his way.

He was the only one Marshall Lee came into contact with that night who wasn't at all injured in some way. "Injured" is putting it lightly, however. There were hundreds of casualties. The town center of the village they were visiting was a pool of blood with corpses floating in it after several minutes. What would now be considered trillions of gold coins worth of property damage was done as well. Structures were destroyed in their entirety, every single one of them. Marshall Lee's rage even spilled over into the nearby woods momentarily before he was finally able to get a hold of himself. He was crying when Bubba found it safe enough to approach him.

Several apologies left his lips. They were the only words he spoke for a full hour.

Marshall Lee always apologized after he'd do something stupid. It was always clear he was truly sorry; he may be carefree most of the time, but he's an emotional guy deep down. He never bothered hiding how much his actions hurt people when he'd realize what he'd done. There were even a handful of occasions where he swallowed his pride and asked Bubba for forgiveness on his knees after particularly rough arguments.

Bubba wonders just how different the Marshall Lee currently standing before him is. He knows he's changed after all this time, he's bound to have, but how much exactly? He's still reckless and tends to do before he thinks, but how often? Does he still apologize afterwards?

He arches a brow at him and manages his most annoyed tone. "About?"

The look on the vampire's face is uncharacteristically serious. "You know what."

Them. The answer is them. Of course it is. It's a conversation they so desperately need to have. They can't move on from their past if they don't tie up their loose ends.

Bubba knows this fact very well.

Yet, he can't be bothered. His heart won't ever heal no matter what words come out of Marshall Lee's mouth.

It's actually something more along the lines of him not wanting to hear them. He doesn't want to think about what he may do if he chooses to listen.

Bubba resumes baking. He doesn't spare Marshall Lee another glance as he fills the cupcake wrappers and places the tin in the oven. When he turns, there's someone blocking his station.

"I'm not leaving until we talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is and you know it. Stop being petty for five seconds, would you?"

"Petty?"

"You know I'm sorry for everything I did to you, Bubba."

Ugh, there it is. Those words and the sincere sadness in his eyes that accompanies them shoot right through Bubba's heart and spread a warmth he doesn't want to feel through his body. It's true, he does know Marshall Lee is sorry. He knows Marshall Lee has always been sorry for his actions. Hearing it again straight from him after so long makes him want to drop all of his grudges and fall into his arms.

He absolutely must not do such a thing.

"Apologies won't fix your mistakes, Marshall Lee."

Marshall Lee rubs the back of his neck. "I know.. but it's a start, right?"

It is a start, that's true.
He'd really rather they not cross the finish line.

Bubba responds with only a curt nod.

"Right... So, I know there's nothing I can do that'll change that past-"

"Do not finish that sentence."

"-but you're obviously still totally in love with me, and I still have a thing for you-"

"Marshall Lee."

"-so we should try getting along again, don'tcha think?"

A pang in his chest. These are the exact things he's wanted to hear for decades.

But he mustn't let his resolve crumble. "I don't think that'll be possible."

"Huh? Why not?"

"I already told you. Apologies don't fix mistakes, especially empty ones. While I don't doubt you regret your actions, all you did was apologize. For what exactly? Where's your substance?"

Marshall Lee presses his lips together in a thin line.

Apologies, he's good at. More than that? Well, that tends to vary. Marshall Lee would always indulge him in long, thoughtful conversations, but they were seldom about feelings. He had no problem expressing shame, but discussing it in detail was another story.

Is this new, more matured Marshall Lee still willing to shove aside his dignity for Bubba? If so, how much of it?

They stare at one another in silence for several seconds.

Black locks obstruct his view as Marshall Lee lowers his head. Then, after an additional five seconds, the vampire's eyes meet his once again. They're full of sincerity, so much of it that Bubba's breath gets captured in his throat out of surprise. "Okay."

Bubba chooses to wait for him to begin speaking.

More beats of silence pass.

He maneuvers around Marshall Lee and continues decorating cupcakes. There is a part of him that's getting impatient, and he'd love to be a jerk and express that feeling, but the majority of him is far too nice and understanding. Curse his courtesy.

Two minutes pass before Marshall Lee is next to him. Another one passes before he finally starts talking.

"I hate myself for all those times I went off on you for no good reason."

Bubba pauses. He can't bring himself to look to his left, so he keeps his gaze on the cupcake.

"And.. I especially hate myself for letting you witness that.. episode I had. I know you know I couldn't control myself, but.. that's not a good excuse. I know I've apologized countless time, but that's not good enough. I don't.. I don't know how to put it into words, or actions, but I'm making it my life's mission to make it up to you somehow."

Ah.. Present-day Marshall Lee is capable of spilling his heart out. Not only that, but he's still saying all the things Bubba wants - needs - him to say.

When he finally looks over, he finds Marshall Lee looking straight at him. The sincerity in his look is now joined by determination and something else Bubba won't yet allow himself to acknowledge.

"I really want us to be cool again, Bubba."

The gentle fondness in his voice breaks every single one of the walls Bubba spent years building. "I do, too."

A lazy smile appears on Marshall Lee's lips. "I knew that much already. You've always known how irresistible I am."

Bubba scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"Come on, it's a fact. Don't bother trying to fight it."

"Getting back on topic, I'll graciously accept your apology. Becoming friends again is.. admittedly exactly what I wanted from you."

"I won't let you down, Bubba. This time I mean it for real."

Marshall Lee stays most of the night. He doesn't help with Bubba's baking, only watches and steals the color from some of the strawberries. They speak more, catching up and discussing unimportant random topics. Having his company again is nice.

Hopefully, Bubba won't regret believing in him.