Sheldon ushers Penny to sit down on the couch as he sorts his latest flip chart. it's Saturday afternoon and he's been busy all week with his mysterious research and 'fact finding' missions, which seemed mostly to be a lot of Googling and scribbling notes and charts.

She sits down and summons an interested look, though she's more interested in the changes in Sheldon. He's his usual hyperactive beanpole but he's filling out a little, exercise is paying off with some tone in his spindly limbs. He manner is changing as well, becoming less hunched inward, more calm and confident. She smiles.

he flips over the chart to his original Sheldon chart with the huge Genius Spike, to which he's added lots of new points and lines as he developed new skills

"Going back to my original Specialisation graph I've discovered a small amount of my time and intellect can be applied to gain significant increases in value on the other indices, grasping the 'low hanging fruit' as it were"

He flips over to a blank chart labelled Penny

"So, how can I improve you? "

"Sheldon!" She leans over and pokes him with a finger. "Care to rephrase that? "

His brow furrows. "ah, You have taken offence as I've implied you have low value? But you must admit that you are an actress who has not worked in a successful published feature and a waitress who hasn't had a raise in over a year. "

She pouts, that stung. "True but unfair. That's not me, that's just what I do. "

"So how about if I phrase it as I make things better for you? "

"That I can live with. What you thinking?"

He starts drawing lines and labelling them.

"So, first for your health and well being. You've a much higher tolerance for physical fitness than I have, so here are a number of yoga and dance classes locally. If you go during the day it won't impact on our time together ."

"You want to keep me in shape do you?" she smiled playfully

"Of course, I appreciate your pleasing shape and muscle tone."

She bursts out laughing "I'll bet you do"

He adds another line with a red mirror of venus female sign.

"Now, moving on to reproductive health"

Her voice drops to a cold "WHAT"

"To elaborate, I mean birth control medication." and she relaxes.

"You suffer from menstrual cramps can be alleviated by exercise and the right birth control, I'll sort with your medical insurance provider so we can do some tests and find the drugs best for you."

"That's kind of overly invasive yet sweet of you honey . But. Erm. Medical insurance? I don't have much in the way of medical insurance. "

"Oh, you do now. I arranged that when we formalised going out "

"Wow. More practical than roses I guess? "

"Indeed. If you fell and hurt yourself again it'd be much more practical than a bunch of flowers, no matter how aesthetically pleasing. Moreover, if you're injured it'd impact on how much time I have with you. Once we have ascertained what birth control works best, and note I'm asking permission as I've noted this is both personal and invasive, would you be willing to have an implant? Its more effective and your previous drug regime has been rather erratic. After that drunken night when you got back with Kurt you took three birth control pills, two advil and half a glass of red wine then sat on the couch in a blanket watching TV and muttering expletives all day. "

She winces. "your recall can be pretty merciless at time, you know?"

He just nods in acknowledgement and moves on

"Now, I know your Acting is important to you. From research, I know the local community college has several acting classes if you want to practise your skills, plus a history of theatre class that I thought may interest you. Knowing where something comes from gives you a better understanding of it.

"Finally, acting roles, as it's clear you don't want to be a waitress all your life"

he adds a final line to the chart

"Your agent pursues acting roles for you by traditional channels, I've taken a more logical view and worked backward from what I want for you."

"Firstly I want to see you regularly, so it needed to be in easy commute. So I've gathered a list of all companies in that range that list as employing actors or actresses. Then I've discounted the ones with a back catalogue I did not appreciate. There are a surprising number of adult film companies in the area."

She sighs. "I know. I'd rather keep some of my clothes on for a role."

"Some? I may have to expand the search parameters. "He ponders. "No, I'd rather keep your naked body to myself. It seems I'm quite possessive like that. " She laughs

"Anyway. Discounting the distasteful and the ones that pay less than your current wage as a benchmark.

I've emailed your CV , IMDB and several photos to all the studios on this list. Several have replied with interest and not just about the Serial Ape-ist link. A few seem simple parts, such as "Smiling woman who really likes our orange juice drink". but I particularly liked this one, as its preliminary motion capture work for the next in a video game series."

"Hold on, You know about Serial Ape-ist? How the hell?"

"yes, it took Wolowitz less than an hour from hearing you say the word 'actress' to seeing your naked breasts on the internet, some sort of record. If he could turn his skill in the pornographic arts to a more positive direction I do think we'd have a man on Mars by now" HEH HEH he laughs at his own joke.

She clutches the papers protectively to her chest, mortified . "So you've all seen..."

He nods "yes." then pauses, noticing her body language. "This distresses you?"

"Well, yes. It's ok when it's a camera, you're acting and the audience is anonymous. But to know it's my Friends... why did Leonard not tell me?"

"Cowardice probably. He did show your shower scene to a lot of people though, he was very proud of that. Be assured everyone was very impressed with it . Should I take the film off your IMDB page?"

"It's just not right, I'm going to murder Leonard when I see him next " She frown then stops "hold on, I have an IMDB Page?"

"You do now. As I assume you'll have a long and illustrious film career it pays to stay ahead"

"Did you set that up for me?"

"Of Course. Now, following your advice about fashion, here are dossiers on the previous female characters in the series and scripts of their lines."

"To appear similar I'd suggest your black boots, you dark coloured leggings with a small repeat pattern, a tight vest top in a lighter shade of a complimentary colour and a short jacket in a pseudo military style, something with suggestions of biker or fighter pilot. Wear it open, so they can fully appreciate the assets you'd bring to the role."

He gestures to her ample bosom straining her low cut top

She scowls. "I don't just want to be a nice rack and a pretty face, I want to be an Actress, Sheldon. It's about playing a role, being a person, telling a story. Not jiggling up and down while a man-ape claws at you."

"Understood. I'll put that on my list of parameters"

He hands her the pile of folders of neatly bound paperwork.

"Put your hair up in a pony tail, it looks more practical and a complex hairstyle is more difficult to scan "

She looks over the papers and pauses

"You got me three auditions in just a couple of days? My agent hasn't got me that many in a year!"

He shrugs "I'm smarter and more motivated "

She leans over and kisses him.

"Here's some more Motivation then Sweetie"

Hope everyone is enjoying the story!

All comments / criticism are welcome - and if you spot a mistake, let me know as these haven't been Beta'd.