Robin was reading a book about black people, when Luffy barged into her room.
"Robin, I can't take this anymore" He said. "I think about you every day, sexually. Please let me satiate my carnal desires."
Robin put the book away and looked at her captain, smiling.
"I'm sorry Luffy, but I have to refuse." She said, calmly. "You're not my type."
"Damn." He said. "It's fine. I understand."
"But I'm sure you're eventually going to find a woman who falls for your charms and will love you for who you are :))))"
"Hmmmmmmmmmm…" Luffy thought, stroking his chin. "Could you maybe help me with another girl I've had my eyes on for a while?"
"Sure! :D Who do you have in mind?"
Later, in the middle of the night.
"Luffy, this is retarded." Robin said. "I can't believe you made me to this."
"You said you'd help me."
"But this is just… ughh."
"Trust me, it's going to work. My plan is glorious."
"Gloriously bad."
"Alright, shut the fuck up, I'm knocking."
Luffy knocked on the door. Robin reluctantly hid behind a wall, waiting for her part.
"Who's there?" They heard a voice coming from the navigator's bedroom.
"It's me." Luffy replied. "I wanted to talk."
"Can't this wait? It's 2 AM."
"I'm afraid it can't wait any longer."
Any longer? Nami thought. What did it mean?
She got up and opened the door.
"Listen, Nami." Luffy put his hand on the wall and looked his friend in the eyes. "You cause the blood in my body to flow to my penis."
"?"
"I mean, we've known each other for like what, three years? Imagine all the spermatozoids my balls produced since I first saw you."
"Luffy… no girl would ever…"
"Oh, there you are, Luffy!"
Nami looked around to see Robin coming their way.
"I've been looking for you." She said. "You were great today. We have to repeat it sometime ;)))"
"For sure, Robin. I also enjoyed having steamy sexual intercourse with you, today. I'm glad you appreciate my technique, and that you felt good, too."
"Mhm ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))" Robin tried a little bit too hard with her role. "See you tomorrow, then! Oh, hello Nami! Not asleep yet?"
Robin then left.
Great, I knew she could do it! Luffy thought. Now Nami will think that I'm a man with desirable qualities. I've got this.
"Anyway, back to what we were discussing…" Luffy turned his head back to Nami. "Are you willing to accept my sex proposal?"
Nami fucking exploded with laughter.
"What's so funny." Luffy frowned. "That was my best hookup line in ages."
"XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"
Luffy felt utterly defeated. Was it his looks? His plan to drag Robin into faking their sexual adventures? Or literally everything he said?
Anyway, Luffy went back to his bed to cryfap in solitude.
On the next day, Carrot approached Luffy when he was sitting alone and eating something, idk.
"Hey Luffy! OwO" She said, brimming with joy.
"What."
"I've heard about your failed flirting attempts."
"Kill me."
"I can't help you with Nami or Robin, but you know, I'm here, too."
"Sorry Carrot, but I'm not a furry."
"What about the other time, in the fanfic called "Carrot's Secret", posted by the same writer on 18 June?"
"That was just one time. I promised myself I would never engage in sexual activities with a rabbit anymore."
"Why?"
"Because people would call me a furry."
"They call you a retard all the time and you don't mind. What's wrong with being a furry?"
Luffy then got up, took a deep breath and looked Carrot in her rabbit eyes.
"You've got a point."
"Anal?"
"Anal."
And so they analed each other. Yes, each other. You've heard right.
THE END
