Chapter 2: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished


'Family' was a concept that meant different things to different people.

There was the family that you're born into. The one that's built, sought-out, a connection made with someone to grow old with. The one that's grown, the family born to you. The kind that's found, friends who become brothers and sisters, surrogate parents and children.

Then there was the 'I never asked for this' family, like when a childish, uncooperative, good for nothing robot gets dropped into your lap.

What Dr. Cossack had signed up for was to do some reprogramming, do some negotiations, and send Bass on his merry way. What he was dealing with now was an enormous permanent legal responsibility. A normal robot could be ordered around, could be controlled. Bass was not a normal robot. It put Dr. Cossack in a very difficult position, because he didn't want to take away what freedom that he had…

…but unlike Wily, Dr. Cossack was a law-abiding citizen and Bass was, frankly, the sort of liability that could easily bankrupt him…

…or possibly land him jail.

Who risks their freedom and livelihood on a machine? A machine that was potentially dangerous (not to mention rude)? A machine he didn't build and didn't ask for?

At the same time, he was a scientist and an engineer, with a strong passion for robotics. This one easily outclassed anything he'd ever built. Dr. Cossack now possessed something remarkably unique, and this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to study and learn.

He wrote a list. The pros, the cons. Every possible option for handling this situation; the best and worst case scenarios. The truth was: it was grim. He could strip some of Bass's autonomy. He could unload him off onto Dr. Light, or even sell him. He could permanently deactivate him.

Or he could cross his fingers, hope for the best, and live with the risk.

It was such a risk, though. Even when fighting on the 'heroes' side, Bass usually left a mile-long streak of destruction in his wake. It was a miracle he hadn't accidentally killed anyone. The property damage alone— how on Earth was Dr. Cossack going to insure this robot?

For the time being, he would leave things as they were. Feel it out. See what direction the wind took them.

"I suppose… you'll want your own room," he said when Bass drifted into the lab, returning from heaven knows what.

He was used to the idea that Mega Man and Break Man had sentience and free will and emotions, but deep down inside he still expected them to obey their creator. That it was Dr. Light who really called the shots. The fact they usually did— not as a robot obeys a command, but rather like an obedient child who listens to their parent— had made it difficult to truly appreciate the fact they had complete independence.

The idea that Bass could make his own decisions and might refuse to listen to Dr. Cossack… that was going to take some getting used to. Dr. Cossack figured it might help to treat him as if he were human, and having thought it over, offering Bass his own room seemed like it would start things off on the right foot.

"Huh?"

"A room. For yourself."

Bass tilted his head, confused. "You know I don't sleep, right? You do know that."

"Not for sleeping, for…" Dr. Cossack gestured vaguely. "Privacy. A place to express yourself. To keep your personal things."

"Huh? Do— what now?" He laughed. "What 'personal things'? Okay, let's see. I snagged Wily's cool tie— you know, the one with the skeleton. The looters don't deserve it. That, and his watch. It doesn't keep time, it needs serviced, but it's the only thing he really… it… um. I think it was his father's, or a gift from him." Bass shrugged. "Then there's that ridiculous Buzzards jersey Break Man gave me. See, we went to this football game and— you know what, it's a stupid story, forget I said anything."

Dr. Cossack stared at him. This was not what he'd expected.

Feeling that he'd made things awkward, Bass tried to reach some kind of point. "What I'm saying is, I don't need a room, I need… an empty copy-paper box and a label maker."

"Hmmm," Dr. Cossack replied. "Think about how you want to decorate your room."


He'd seen Break Man's room, Mega Man's room, Dr. Light's. Dr. Cossack's and his daughter Kalinka's, even though she was off at college, her things were as she'd left them.

Roll hadn't had a room back when they were trapped at Dr. Light's laboratory. With everything going on with Zero at the time, Dr. Light hadn't been able to address it. No doubt he'd set her up with her own personal space once things settled down.

Wily's had always been spartan. A bed, a lamp, a glass of water.

Studying the four blank walls and single window, Bass hadn't the slightest clue what to do with the space.

He considered asking Break Man, or maybe Desirée or Lyric, for ideas… then decided against it. Still drawing a blank, he made a point to go into the room every day, look at it, think about it.

But there was nothing.


Wily had almost always ate at his workspace, usually while working.

Dr. Cossack cooked, he set a place at the small dinner table, with a placemat and salad fork and everything, sat down, and had a proper meal.

It'd been less than two weeks since they found themselves in this predicament, when Bass came into the dining area and sat down. (It wasn't its own room, but a section of the kitchen.) He prudently used Kalinka's chair— discerning from the wear and the floor marks which was her's— instead of Svetlana's.

"Ah, hello…" Dr. Cossack said uneasily. "Did… did you…"

"Do I get a say?" Bass asked casually.

"Pardon?"

"Your list."

Dr. Cossack was mortified.

"Because if I do have some say, I'd much rather be deactivated than lose any of my independence. Also, there's some options you missed. I could disappear, go back into exile. You could report me as stolen property— which would be sort of true."

"I— I didn't mean for you to see that—"

"It's fine. It's not your fault that I couldn't… well, whatever. I get it."

Every part of this was strange, but what struck Dr. Cossack most was how odd it was that Bass— a robot!— was trying not to appear anxious and despite his efforts very obviously was.

There was a long, painfully awkward silence as they sat there looking at each other.

Then there was a loud crack and Kalinka's chair gave out beneath him and deposited Bass onto the floor.

He was back on his feet in a flash, and while Dr. Cossack was amused, Bass was livid. "Lousy human furniture! This is the second time some flimsy fricken' junk broke under me, stupid cheap piece of—!"

"In the chair's defense, you're quite dense," Dr. Cossack said as he chuckled quietly to himself.

Bass grabbed one of the chair legs and stood there fuming, unsure what to do. If it'd been Wily, he would've chucked it in his general direction, but he didn't have that sort of contentious relationship with Dr. Cossack. Instead, he snapped the wood rod over his knee.

Then he started to calm down and seemed, if not exactly embarrassed, at least a little sheepish. "Didn't mean to break your stupid chair," he muttered. It wasn't quite an apology.

"Note to self: get sturdier furniture," Dr. Cossack replied, teasing. Then he grew solemn. "I don't know what the right course is. Writing down my options, making that list, was to help me decide what to do… but it hasn't helped, I still haven't made any decision." He hesitated, prodding a piece of broccoli with his fork. "I won't lie. I considered each and every option on that list. But I feel that… restricting your freedom, forcing you to be obedient… would be cruel." Looking up, he offered Bass a wan smile. "I'd like to believe I am not a cruel man."

He felt the look that Bass gave him— settling like a weight in his gut. Incredulity, yearning. Wanting to trust Dr. Cossack and afraid to.

"Would it help if I promised?"

"Yeah."

"Well then." Dr. Cossack placed his hand over his heart. "I swear upon my mother's grave that I will not rob you of your autonomy."

It didn't get the reaction he was expecting. Bass inched backwards, expression unreadable.

"Did, did you—?" Except he saw how confused Dr. Cossack was, and realized that no, this was just a coincidence. He laughed uneasily. "See, this one time— I asked Wily to swear on his mother's grave, which was how I learned Oma is still around…" He hadn't meant to mention her to anyone and scrambled. "A-anyway. I thought maybe you had… reviewed my memories or something."

"No." Dr. Cossack raised his eyebrows. Then he started to laugh at the absurdity. "I could show you her grave, if it helps."

"Hah, no, that's okay…"

"Good, because it's a long flight back to my homeland."

He smirked. "That's what teleportation's for, dummy."


Bass ended up painting the walls with tessellations, complex interlinking geometric patterns. It reminded Dr. Cossack of zellige mosaic art and fractals.

Exploring art for the first time in his 'life' and with a bit of encouragement from Break Man, he moved on to making polyhedral models, using scrap metal from the lab or origami or occasionally the 3D plastic printer. (Break Man's methods were highly effective: loudly betting with Mega Man that Bass couldn't do it. This tactic never failed.) They soon littered the floor, until Dr. Cossack insisted on putting up shelves. The only piece of furniture to go in his room— he had no use for a bed or dresser or any of those things— Bass picked something glass and very modern, almost Scandinavian. When the shelves were full, he hung some of the models from the ceiling.

When Kalinka came to visit during the Alvis Day holiday break, she admired the intricate mural. "Love the colors!"

Dr. Cossack had thought they were too dark— so much purple and black. He didn't say anything, but Bass could tell.

"Where'd you get the pattern from? It looks like something you'd find in a Moorish temple."

He was confused.

"It's my design." He watched as Kalinka started tracing the pattern with her finger. "And yeah, it does. I think they're onto something there. You can see it sometimes, in numbers and equations…"

"See what?"

He was at a loss how to explain it. "Something bigger."

But Kalinka seemed to understand.


She noticed but didn't comment on the fact that there were only two chairs at the table, and took her mother's seat. With a grin, Kalinka propped her chin on the palm of her hand. "I'm glad you're not alone here. I knew it was going to be rough on you when I moved out."

These days he often entertained lady guests at the house, but he didn't want her to know. He wasn't looking to remarry, so there was no reason to complicate his daughter's life with his short-lived affairs.

Dr. Cossack cleared his throat and nodded. "I still miss you."

"I know." She kept smiling and reached over to pat his arm.

"But you're enjoying yourself? You like your school, your new roommate?"

"For the thousandth time, yes. I love it. All of it."

He looked at her critically, studying her reaction. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Of course she had, but none of them had been serious yet, so there was no reason to complicate her father's life with her short-lived romances.

"Not to speak of."

He raised an eyebrow but let the topic drop.

"How are your classes going?"

She was acing most of them. Economics was a bit of a struggle. "Of all the options, I had to go and pick that one. I don't see what we need these silly core classes for anyway."

"I'm surprised, I thought you'd do well in—"

"It's not the subject," she admitted. "It's the teacher. She's nice enough, but she's going through a divorce and, er… it seems like it's pretty messy. She keeps forgetting to give us due dates on assignments, or is unclear on what we're actually supposed to do, and… well… she'll go on these tirades about how men are dogs…"

Dr. Cossack laughed. "Believe me, you're not the first student to get a teacher like that. You'll pull through." He reached over to pat her arm. "I'm always available if you need help."

"I know, I know!"

After dinner Kalinka helped clear off the table, and then dried the dishes as he washed them.

"I don't know yet if Bass is staying," he said, somewhat abruptly.

She hesitated, sensing there was a deeper issue. "What makes you say that?"

"Well… it's…" He had a conflicted look, lips pursed. "There's a great deal of risk involved. I can't control him, but I am still legally accountable for his actions. If he smashes through a building or crushes a car, if someone got hurt… or heaven forbid, killed…"

"…It's on you." Kalinka sighed, setting down the cup and dish rag. She leaned against the counter, staring at the swirling pattern of the granite. "Do you know, he said something to me the other day about sensing the divine in mathematics?"

Dr. Cossack had no idea how to respond to that.


Kalinka surprised Bass when she went to say goodbye, before heading back to school.

"I got you a 'welcome' gift."

Before he could say 'what?' she revealed the present she was holding behind her back. It was a stuffed animal, a wolfy looking dog that she had dyed purple, leaving her fingers discolored and the back of her shirt ruined.

"Er…"

Kalinka shoved it into his hands.

Bass stared in bewilderment.

"Well? It's cute and it looks like your dog, right?"

When he didn't respond, Dr. Cossack shot him a stern glance. "What do you say?"

"…This is the second stupidest thing anyone has ever given me."

The dye was transferring onto his hands, too. What a mess.

She chuckled. "My understanding is that it's the second thing anyone has ever given you, period."

He shrugged.

"It looks kind of like Treble." Then, after thinking about it for a second, "I guess it's 'cute'."

"Bass," said Dr. Cossack.

"Thanks, Kalinka. …this is the most thoughtful thing anyone's given me."

This earned another laugh—

—and then she threw her arms around him. Bass was horrified. It was the first time anyone had hugged him.

When Kalinka broke away and straightened back up, the front of her shirt was stained with purple dye. Some of it had even managed to get onto the blue gem on Bass's armor.

"Aw man! This shirt is done for. What a mess."

Then she looked at Bass, frozen in mortal terror, and cracked up.

"Wow, the look on your face right now!"

That snapped him out of it. "I'mgoingtomyroomgoodbye." He spoke so fast all the words ran together, and then stiffly hurried off.

"See?" Dr. Cossack called after him. "For privacy!"


A few days later Dr. Cossack found himself in Bass's room, examining one of his models. A multitude of little pieces of paper methodically folded into diamond shapes, interlocking with each other to form a faceted globe. Delicate and created with care by someone who was ostensibly a weapon of destruction.

"Triacontahedron," said Bass. "It's not as flashy as some of the others, but each facet has the golden ratio, which is kind of neat."

He startled, dropping the model, and glanced over at Bass, leaning in the doorway. Bending over, he picked it up and tossed it to the Wily 'bot.

There was still so much he was uncertain about. It felt surreal asking, but he forced himself to anyway.

"Do you want to stay here?"

"What I want is to find an alternate timeline where Wily is still alive, then to beat my counterpart and take his place. Barring that, I want the same thing everyone else has: independence."

"Hmmm." Dr. Cossack stroked his chin in thought. "There's one little problem. If that alternate Bass is otherwise identical, then the only possible outcome would be for you to destroy each other."

Bass laughed, then answered earnestly. "I don't know what I want. I'm tired of being on the run. Getting stuck with Dr. Light isn't very appealing, but I also don't like the idea of… being a burden." He looked at the model, turning it slowly in his hands. "Wily didn't have the decency to let me off his leash before he died. These last few years I thought that— that with just a few minor changes to my programming, I'd be able to— to get—"

In a fit of rage, Bass crumpled up the origami model and flung it against the far wall. It rebounded and bounced on the carpet a few times, coming to a stop near his feet. He took a half-step into the room and stomped on it.

"I never had to worry about any of this crap when he was alive!"

When Dr. Cossack didn't say anything, he sagged.

"…Yeah. If you're willing to put up with me, that is."

"It beats the alternatives," Dr. Cossack replied.

This time his laugh was a bitter one. "Exactly."


Rather than replace Kalinka's chair or the whole set, Dr. Cossack had it repaired, although the new leg on the front left was a quarter-shade lighter than the rest. He was sentimental and the dining set had been one of the first things Svetlana picked out once they'd arrived from overseas. Originally it came with four chairs, but the fourth one had long since disappeared.

The new fourth chair didn't quite match the set. The design was similar, but a little off. At first glance, they were all white, but on closer inspection this one had the unmistakable shine of plastic, versus the soft matte paint of the other three.

Bass eyed it warily.

"Industrial polycarbonate resin. Rated for up to one thousand pounds," Dr. Cossack said with a wink. "You and all three of Dr. Light's robots could sit on it at once, and it should hold."

"What, like on each other's laps? Or shoulders?"

"Either way." He straightened his placemat, laying out the silverware. "You know, when Kalinka is home, we always have dinner together and she'll tell me about her day."

"Blech."

Dr. Cossack laughed as he brought over his salad and dinner plate, then took a seat.

With a great deal of trepidation, Bass joined him at the table. He hunched forward slightly, hands besides his knees, clutching the edge of the chair.

"It's not high enough for you, da? I have some old manuals we could stack on the seat to give you a boost."

Bass shot him a look of disgust. "Very funny." Then he shook his head. "This is too silly. I can't do it."

"Okay. Maybe we can try again tomorrow," Dr. Cossack said as Bass got up to leave. "Keep trying until it doesn't feel silly anymore."

Standing there with one hand still on the top rail, he looked from Dr. Cossack to the chair and back. "Um, does… this mean…?" He couldn't finish that thought.

"I haven't come to any final decision, no… but for now, at least," he gestured, "a chair that won't break."

"Okay." Bass actually grinned as he headed out. "Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. No promises."

"No promises," Dr. Cossack agreed.


-A/N: There may be a brief hiatus, as I'm rewriting and rearranging some of Part 2, plus working on a lil' surprise.