here's chapter 2! now the plot is really getting rolling. it's also the longest one i've written yet so you're welcome :)

also i just wanna make a lil sidenote! in this fic's canon blaze and silver do not remember each other bc of '06. and blaze isn't gonna appear in this at all, sorry. she's busy with her Princess Of Another Dimension Business. heck ok just wanted to clear that up !

no major chapter warnings! but ofc beware of typical swearing/violence/blood


II.

shattered (SHadərd)

[adjective]

broken into many pieces.

(of something abstract) damaged or destroyed.


"Can anyone read me?"

The only response was the crackled hiss of the walkie-talkie.

"Fuck, come on guys. I can't—I need you here, we need you."

Silence pervaded the room above her helpless murmurs into the communicator. It was painful.

"… Please. Say anything."

Nothing.

"I—" Her fists clenched tighter around the device, surely turning her knuckles white beneath her satin gloves. She ground her teeth together, scrunching her eyes closed against the hot, frustrated tears trying to burst through. With an exasperated sob, she chucked the walkie-talkie across the room, watching it collide into the wall and fall to the ground in pieces. "Fuck." She drew her hands to her head, clawing her fingers into her scalp and shaking her head. "Fuck fuck fuck—"

"Woah, uh, Rouge?" A voice cut through the air, sturdy and gravelly and carrying a signature Jersey twang. A large hand clasped—surprisingly—gently on her shoulder, stilling her tremors just slightly. The bat wiped hastily at her face, and stiffened at the touch. "You alright?"

The agent hissed through her teeth. "Fine," she gritted out, her teal eyes settling forlornly on the shattered communicator. She roughly shook the hand from her shoulder, crossing her arms and turning slightly to face the towering male.

The crocodile's gaze softened upon getting a better look at her features. Her makeup was all smeared and clumpy and damp, her skin was unnaturally pale, and her face was sunken with exhaustion (although it was always like that—she hardly ever got sleep nowadays).

"You sure don't look 'fine' to me," Vector replied, placing his hands on his hips. He sighed wearily. He hadn't exactly gotten much sleep, lately, either. "Mind explainin' why exactly the walkie-talkie is on the other side of the room in pieces?"

"They—" Rouge squeaked, her voice breaking as another miserable sob tried to slip out. She steeled herself, taking a deep breath and balling up her fists extra tight. This was stupid. She was just being stupid. Stop being a baby. "… I haven't heard anything from Knuckles and Amy since last night. It's dead silent on their end."

Vector sighed. "That could be—"

"They were supposed to check in over an hour ago!" she snapped, shaking slightly more. "They could be captured right now, maybe they were ambushed in their sleep, or they got chased by something, or, or-!"

Two hands eased onto her shoulders, grounding her. "Chaos, Rouge, just—take a deep breath, alright? I'm sure they're fine. Those two are more than capable of handling themselves."

Rouge pulled her lips into a thin line. Her eyes were simmering with something wild and hot. "We thought Sonic and Tails could handle themselves, didn't we?"

And, okay, ouch. The croc reeled back, a bit of the sympathy in his gaze becoming curtained by an equally icy stare.

"We'll find them."

A wet, hysterical laugh spilled out of her throat. "What, their corpses?"

"What the hell, Rouge?" Vector snarled, "Chaos, I thought you were Shadow's friend, I thought—I thought you've been the one telling us all it'll be alright. Tellin' Shadow we'll find them."

Her twisted smile fell. "Well, shit, sorry for not trying to convince everyone that everything's just sunshine and rainbows. Sorry for being a little realistic."

The reptile huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose and lowering his tone. "C'mon, Rouge, that's not—"

"Then what the hell do you want from me?" she sobbed, throwing her hands out to her sides and fighting valiantly against more tears. "I'm trying, Vec, I'm fucking trying. But Shadow's hardly around anymore and I can still hear Vanilla crying herself to sleep and Sonic and Tails are good as dead and now Knuckles and Amy are—are…"

The agent collapsed, falling into the larger male and weeping into his chest. Vector frowned uneasily, patting her back and allowing her to lean into him. For a while they just stood there, in each other's arms, listening to their own breaths.

"Y'know, he's no mechanic, but I think Espio made a little progress on Omega. Wanna go see?" the detective mumbled, rubbing easy circles into her back.

She sniffled, and pushed off of him, giving a blasé shrug like she hadn't just been crying. "… Sure."


It was almost kind of beautiful.

The way the landscape looked so unblemished, so pristine. It was a perfect blanket of thick snow sprawled out for miles across the flatlands, and beyond the violent blizzard, he could almost make out clear blue skies.

He could also make out the indistinct outlines of a settlement, perhaps a mile off, slightly skewed to the left. A hazy pillar of smoke rose from the encampment before getting lost in the downpour of snowflakes and hail. The thought of curling up beside a fire right now was beyond tempting, and he found himself quickening his pace despite the fatigue that dragged down his bones.

And there was this distant voice in the back of his head, murmuring to him to keep going, that he couldn't be selfish now, he had to keep looking.

But he'd been walking for so long, and his muscles ached, and his stomach was nipping at his insides from hunger. Maybe just a small break, he told himself. There was no point looking for the emeralds now, when he could hardly stand up straight anymore.

The hedgehog trudged over to the settlement finally, shuddering uncontrollably and gripping tight onto his cloak. It hardly provided any relief from the bitter cold, but it was all he had.

He found himself stumbling down a small slope into a makeshift town of sorts, that used walls of ice as a sort of protection from the harsh winds. Dotting the clearing were igloos, small but cozy looking. Columns of smoke wisped out of the tops of the structures, no doubt belonging to soothing flames inside. A few humans and mobians alike circled around a large bonfire in the center of the settlement, faces and bodies hidden beneath their thick parkas.

They spotted him quickly, and two of the larger beings approached him warily, one of them wielding a spear. As they neared, it was easier to make out the face of a gruff old man, his face wrinkled and grouchy, and a polar bear, more youthful but equally irritable.

"What is your business here, stranger?" the human asked. His face looked like it was constantly set like that, sagging down with an eternal scowl. The mustache he fashioned was surprisingly groomed, although it was still wiry and frizzy.

The bear beside the elder gripped his spear tighter, icy blue eyes regarding the cloaked stranger with almost a hint of terror.

"You aren't serving Egg—Erm, King Eggman, are you?" the polar bear wondered, his voice unexpectedly gentle. "Because I-I swear, we sent our shipment of supplies out, you don't need to attack us, we learned our lesson, we just—we, um—"

The human snarled at his companion. "Have you no humility, Ursa? Gaia, you must show some ferocity! Don't let this stranger see through you."

Holding up a hand in peace, the newcomer dropped the hood to reveal his face. The man narrowed his eyes even more, and the bear only looked bemused.

"Believe me, I don't serve Eggman. In fact, I'm with the Resistance. I'll get out of your hair as soon as possible, I just need some time to rest before I'll be on my way."

Clearly, this struck a chord with the old man, whose face screwed up into something spiteful. "Oh, Gaia, the Resistance?! No, I'm afraid you will not be allowed to stay here. The last thing we need is to be associated with you folk. We're already on thin ice with the Empire."

The hedgehog's shoulders sagged visibly. "Really, I don't need anything at all from you, except a bed and some food. I'll be gone again before morning."

"I said, no," the man snapped. "Ursa, escort this heathen away from our encampment. I don't want any more trouble."

The bear hesitated a moment, casting a pitiful look towards the newcomer. "Chief, the blizzard is unbearable right now. We'd be killing him by sending him out there."

"Well good, maybe he deserves it."

"Chief!" the polar bear, Ursa, cried. "You can't be serious. And I know you don't want to be involved in the war, but…" he smiled tentatively at the hedgehog, "Surely it can't do any harm by helping this guy out just a little, right?"

The Chief rolled his eyes. "You won't ever drop this, will you?" The human glowered a few more seconds at his companion, before finally conceding. "... Alright, fine, he can stay in your igloo. But I don't want to see him anywhere else, and he better be gone before dawn."

Ursa smiled wide at the man, before turning to the hedgehog. "Yeah, 'course."

With that, the polar bear eagerly led the newcomer back to his igloo, which was lodged a few dozen meters away in a small corner of the walled-in area. As soon as they entered, they were instantly met with a tender warmth, wafting in from the center of the structure from a small fire. A few sacks of what looked like cloth padded with fur were placed around the semi-spherical building, assumedly as makeshift bedding. A female polar bear, somewhere in her late twenties like Ursa, was nuzzled asleep in one.

The hefty male pulled down the hood of his parka, shuffling up to a pot draped over the flames as he continued stirring whatever was in it. The hedgehog wasn't sure what, but its aroma was savory and rich, and it tickled his nose alluringly.

"Thank you," the stranger murmured, as he took a seat on one of the sacks of cloth. "Really. I haven't taken any shelter or eaten a real meal in days."

Ursa smiled, lifting out the ladle to pour some of the contents into a smaller bowl, passing it down to the visitor. "It's no problem, really. And sorry about Chief, he's… He's been pretty shaken up since everything started. Lost his kid when our town got infiltrated a couple weeks ago." The bear served his own bowl before sitting down, himself. He eyed the contents with a distant, almost poignant gaze. "He hasn't been the same, since."

The hedgehog frowned, slightly, trying to ignore the way his heart ached at that.

(Sounds familiar.)

Instead, he transfixed on the dish he cradled in his lap, watching hungrily as steam twirled up from it. It appeared to be some sort of gumbo or stew, and it held a particularly strong fishy smell to it. He wasn't the biggest fan of fish, admittedly, but as he took his first bite he almost shuddered at the way it melted into his mouth. Though maybe that was just his raw hunger speaking.

He peered up at the third occupant of the room, who was currently fast asleep. "Who's she?"

The bear looked up at her as well, an adoring haze in his eyes. The hedgehog swallowed thickly against another painful pang in his heart.

"She's my wife."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

"That's nice," he said quickly, already feeling the anxiety swelling up in his chest, rising up his throat like bile. "This stew is good. Thank you, again."

Ursa's smile faltered a little. "Ah, it's no problem. Um, do you…? Do you have anyone? A significant other?"

He was clenching his bowl so tightly he could almost see cracks beginning to form.

"I did."

The larger male sunk a little. "Oh! I… Sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"It's fine," the hedgehog gritted, but it wasn't. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a long, deep breath.

Sometimes if he thought hard enough, he could still see him. With his messy bed-head quills, his sloppy smile. The small gestures he'd make, like linking their pinky fingers together, or rubbing circles into his palms. If he thought really hard, he could still hear his laugh. So light and joyful. He could see his eyes, too. His gorgeous, vibrant, emerald eyes.

Their wedding would have been beautiful.

"Sir? Mr. Hedgehog? Um," Ursa said, as the newcomer fell back into reality, and peeled his eyes open. "You have a name?"

He really shouldn't, revealing his identity could compromise the mission, but he was so damned tired, and he missed all his friends so badly. "It's Shadow."

The corners of the bear's eyes crinkled as he grinned again. "That's a nice name. Um, but… Really, I'm sorry to hear that. And I, uh… If you need anything—"

"Thank you, Ursa," the agent murmured, leaning his head against the cool wall.

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Shadow finished the rest of his gumbo, before placing the ceramic down and slowly sliding down to bundle up in the cloth. "I hope you don't mind me resting here a little bit. I'll leave in a few hours."

Ursa looked a little shocked. "Oh! Uh, yeah, that's fine. Stay as long as you need."

"Thank you."

Silence fell over the igloo for a small while, and the striped hedgehog could start to feel the exhaustion from trudging through miles of a frozen wasteland creeping up on him. His muscles still pulsed with fatigue, and his eyes burned from staying open.

"Um, Shadow?" Ursa piped up again, after a couple minutes. "I just wanna say, uh. Thanks. For everything you do. I mean, my Chief just wants us to do what the Empire tells us, 'cause he doesn't want anyone else to get hurt. But, it's real brave, what you're doing. I hope you guys win this stupid war. For everyone."

For the first time in a long time, Shadow smiled. "I hope we win, too."

Shadow hadn't dreamt of anything in a while. His sleep was usually filled with empty black space and the vague echoes of haunting screams.

But tonight, he dreamt of sparkling emerald eyes and soft sapphire fur.


The apple felt rotten in his hands.

It felt warm and gooey and toxic, like it was burning away the threads of his gloves. He could almost hear the hiss of it searing into the material, more intense than even the sun's rays beating down on him in waves of heat, or the stagnant air that pressed into his fur and drenched him in sweat.

Six months. It'd already been six months. Yet every day he just felt more revolted by himself.

The first bite he had taken was sweet and juicy and it almost made his chest flutter with familiarity. But then that fucking voice in his head started talking again, and now all he could focus on was the repulsive, bitter flavor lingering on his tongue. His vision was a little hazy, from the heat maybe, or the sleep deprivation. Whatever it was, he could barely keep his eyes open. The apple looked vile and putrid as he squinted at it.

(It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been you.)

With a pained grunt, he chucked the fruit away, watching dully as it landed back on the ground and tumbled through the dirt. He felt this brief glimmer of hope as he watched it roll further away from him, that maybe the voice would go with it.

(Coward. Weak. Murderer.)

But the voice still wouldn't shut up.

He groaned exasperatedly, leaning forward a little and driving the heels of his palms into his temples. His head was pounding, and the heat felt like it was blistering his skin. Everything was so loud.

(All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.)

And the voice still wouldn't fucking shut up.

A sob was torn from his throat, and he flinched at how pathetic it sounded. He pressed his lips together tightly, silently trembling.

His backpack felt like lead, weighing him down and burning into his back. His shoes and gloves felt too tight on him. His lungs felt like they were dysfunctional, like they couldn't fill with any air at all. It was all so hot, so loud. Everything was throbbing.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

(All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.)


Gadget's lungs were on fire. And as much as his body was screaming at him to just take a few gasps of breath and relax, he knew he couldn't. Because then they would hear him.

So instead, he had to settle with silently suffering, taking small gulps of air and stifling the whimpers that crawled up his throat as he swallowed a thick knot lodged in it.

He pressed his back to the cool wall, and almost just sunk into it. It was a nice relief from the ruthless heat. But raw fear was slithering all around his body in a bone-chilling way, keeping him alert and stiff and too terrified to even move a muscle. He could hear the clanks of multiple steel boots stomping around the ruins of the building, and each step made him flinch.

He thought briefly to himself that this might just be the worst day of his life.

(No, that was a few months ago. When he went missing.)

The wolf's nose twitched. His muzzle was getting itchy from the snot dribbling down. He had this intense urge to wipe it off with his wrist, but it was greatly overpowered by the terror rocketing throughout his mind that yelled at him, don't move.

His eyes burned too, but that was more manageable. Dried up tears weren't too irritating. What really bothered him was the blood caked in his fur, thick and still a little damp. Physically, he wanted nothing more than to take a shower and get it off, because it felt so gross and sticky and he could already feel nausea churning in his stomach.

Psychologically, well. He may have lost the only thing left to call a home, even if it was just one of the last intact dorm rooms on his campus. And he also may have just had to watch those freaky robots kill all his friends, tear them to shreds, splatter their blood on his chest, rip the screams right from their throats—

No. No. Breathe.

He was fine.

Perfectly, totally, fine.

(It wasn't like they'd grown on him over these past months. Given him some sanity in this chaos. Almost made him forget he didn't have him anymore.)

Nope. He was fine.

His eyes started to burn a little more and feel a little wet. He quickly blinked the sensation away.

A few robotic beeps echoed around the area, and more shuffling of metal could be heard. They sounded fairly close by now, and it sent Gadget's heart rate through the fucking roof. He started to shuffle a bit away from them, though the process was painfully slow. His boots were too big and clunky, it was hard not to make any noise with them.

At this point he could hear his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, and it almost physically hurt his chest from how hard it was pounding against it.

And then a blob of orange flanked his left vision, and he was flailing forward and yelping and falling and, shit, suddenly he was laying on the concrete.

The robot was glaring down at him with its bright blue optics, its stocky orange body that was almost goofy in design taking nothing away from how fucking creepy the thing was. It was definitely the smile. That smile was scary as shit.

Its speakers were already crackling to life, ready to no doubt announce that it had found him to its little friends, but the wolf was already scrambling back onto his feet and breaking into a run.

He knew Westopolis. He knew it like the back of his hand. He'd lived here his whole life. And, logically, he knew that right now, he needed to be using this to his advantage so he could easily get away and find a hiding spot where the creepy robots wouldn't find him.

And yet, all that was running through his mind was shit shit shit shit shit—

It wasn't long before his sides were already cramping, and his throat was consumed in this agonizing blaze of pain from wheezing so hard. He thought vaguely he could feel more tears on his cheeks, but at this point everything was sort of numbed by the indescribable horror that was suffocating him like ice water.

Chaos, his sides were really cramping up. So bad he was sort of awkwardly tilted now in a way that probably made him look like an idiot as he sprinted down the streets of Westopolis—although it wasn't like there was anyone else around to observe. He wasn't built for this. Gadget the Wolf was not athletic. He was the opposite of athletic, if anything. For fuck's sake, he was majoring in medicine.

And on top of dealing with the cramps, and the burning throat, he had to juggle being hyper-fixated on the road. It was covered in debris and glass, some streets being completely blockaded by collapsed buildings. The last thing he needed was to step on a big shard of broken glass, when he was currently running for his life.

Eventually he reached the outskirts of the city, and he couldn't really hear the stampeding of metal behind him anymore. If he hadn't lost them already, they were at least a ways behind and it wouldn't be long before he shook them off.

The canine soon reached a sandy opening, complete with patchy, dried up grass and a crumbling highway that led out to the middle of nowhere. He continued his running, but slowed his pace a bit.

Noticing some foliage off to the left, he figured maybe he better cut through there just to ensure he had lost the pack of evil robots.

Gadget shoved through the thick flora, grunting at the small scrapes he received from all the thorns and branches that brushed against him. It didn't bother him too much though. There was an undeniable flutter of relief he felt as he reached the other side, optimism filling his mind at the thought of finally being safe.

And that's when he found himself staring right into the barrel of a gun.


He stirred at the sound of gargling and choking sounds.

Shadow could hear the whirrs and hisses of machinery and metal working, too, which immediately made him go rigid.

He continued his façade of sleep, but cracked open an eye to get an idea of what in the hell was even happening. Unfortunately, it was still very dark, so he could hardly see anything, let alone through a squinted eye.

Groggily, the hedgehog racked his mind for answers to where he was and how he got here, but for a long while he drew a blank. He was looking for the emeralds, wasn't he…?

And suddenly he was hit full force with a tsunami of memories.

Holoska. Cold. Town. Ursa. Stew.

Oh.

As his vision gradually adjusted, Shadow was able to vaguely make out the outlines of, of course, fucking Egg Pawns. There were only three in here, but if he sprung up into action now, one of them would surely sound the alarm before he could destroy them all. There were always more of them.

So he bided his time. Kept his breathing steady, tried to keep still. Studied them.

The gagging noises were still occurring, and it was then that Shadow realized it must be Ursa or his wife. If he looked hard enough, he could see a still body across the igloo from him, definitely sitting in a puddle of something, and, fuck, he did not need to envision what it was. He was pretty sure that was the wife.

(Which meant he only had a little time left before Ursa was killed too.)

Something primal shifted in his gut at that thought, and the ebony male found himself leaping up from his position, tackling down the nearest Egg Pawn in an instant.

Chaos promptly erupted.

A shower of bullets fired around the small igloo haphazardly, as the Egg Pawn he grabbed at swung its arm cannon around frantically. Its pals were also caught out of their element, and began firing wildly in his general direction. Vague pain registered in his mind at one point, as he was sure a bullet or two had nicked his side, but his adrenaline was whipping through his blood stream so fast he barely noticed.

"Enemy detected! Enemy detect—" they all blared out, but the one in his hold was cut off as soon as he got a better grip around its neck joint, and slammed its metal skull straight into the icy wall.

Quick on his feet, Shadow lunged straight for the second one, this time digging his fingers deep into the crook of its neck, before tearing its head right off. He was sure to keep this one between him and the final bot, as a sort of shield from the hail of bullets currently firing at him.

As the steel body went limp in his arms, the striped agent dove to the ground, snagging the ankles of the final Pawn and yanking hard, so it fell right on its face. The robot flailed manically, before he drove his elbow into the back of its head, and it fell still.

Silence draped over the igloo once more, sans Shadow's heavy gasps for breath.

After taking a moment to recuperate, the hedgehog wobbled onto his feet again, hissing as he clenched his left side, where one bullet was currently lodged and another had grazed him. He made a small grunt of pain as he wriggled the shell out, squeezing the wound tensely.

He turned to face the wife first, careful not to step in the puddle of her blood. It all seemed to waterfall out of the side of her head. Her eyes were wide open, as though once briefly in peril, but now they were glossy and dim. Shadow leaned forward, gingerly closing her eyelids.

He didn't have much more time to dawdle. He needed to help Ursa up and get them the hell out of here. There were definitely more Egg Pawns waiting outside for them.

(He was almost a little grateful he hadn't met his wife. He didn't need that on his conscious. It was better that he never knew her.)

And then the agent turned to the other polar bear, and nearly gagged.

Ursa's eyes looked like they were bulging out of his skull. His lips were a sickly purple, and the skin that could be seen beneath his ivory fur was paler than a ghost. There were dark imprints of fingers bruised around his throat, like the damn robots had strangled him to death.

The bear wasn't moving. His eyes were just as empty as his love's.

Shadow stumbled forwards, his legs suddenly feeling like spaghetti as the full weight of the situation dawned on him.

This was all his fault. The bots were no doubt here for him, and he'd led them all straight here, to kill innocents who didn't even want to be involved. Their blood was on his hands. If he hadn't been so fucking selfish, if he'd steered clear of this settlement, then maybe they would've woken up again this morning, and all greeted each other, and had some more fish stew together.

His head was spinning. He could already taste the bile on the back of his tongue.

Just as quickly as the guilt had consumed him, the rage had come even more ravenously, pulling him under and drowning any coherent thoughts left.

Shadow belted out a cry, and charged out of the igloo, met with the eerie stares of nearly a hundred more Egg Pawns.

He never hesitated, just charged right forwards, lunging at robot after robot, tearing them apart. He could see more emerging from the igloos, could see the blood staining their disgusting metal claws. They were all swarming around him, firing their bullets and throwing their steel punches, but he couldn't register the pain any more.

All he could feel was pure wrath.

The hedgehog's mind was reeling. His thoughts were getting jumbled up, and his vision was spotty with visions of the past. He couldn't tell where he was anymore, just that he needed to stop them. They took away what he loved. They deserved to die.

A frail smile would flash across his mind, with soft blue eyes and golden hair and carmine splashed across her gown.

A reaching hand, too far away, emerald eyes gazing longingly, emptily, as cobalt fur became stained in red.

Hundreds of faces, too much blood, drowning them all, killing them all. He couldn't save them in time. He was losing them all. They were too out of reach.

And then it all became still. His limbs felt like lead, dragging him down, and the world tilted sideways. He could feel a prick of something lodged in his shoulder, like a needle, but he couldn't figure out what because his mind was suddenly to muddled to string together a single articulate thought.

He glanced at his shoulder sluggishly, eyeing the dart in utter confusion, unable to figure out what it was or how it had gotten there. Moments later he fell to the ground in a limp heap, his head too fuzzy and his body too heavy to do much else of anything. He could see the orange bodies swarming around him, eyeing him with their piercing blue optics, grabbing at him with their cold hands.

His head was pounding, and it physically hurt to keep his eyes open any longer, to try and process what was happening.

He succumbed to the darkness, and everything melted away.


an alternative title for this fic is: Everybody Is Sad And Everything Sucks

((also muahahaha :))) what was that little scene in the middle with the apple and the sadness, you may be asking? you'll have to wait and see!))