Chapter 1: Let's take this back to the start
"We can't."
Erin bit her lips, shaking her head softly even though she felt her body heat up even from the simple touch of hands. Jay's hand was holding hers as his sparkling eyes sent her a heated gaze across the table. He was looking so hot in his suit, not that Erin was exactly surprised. She had a hot partner, if any of the looks that he received from various women wherever they went were any indication.
"Come on, let's get you home," Jay offered, his usual grin on his face. Erin reluctantly agreed, grabbing her small clutch and standing up. They were standing so close together now, only little space in between their bodies and Erin knew if she just moved an inch, she'd be able to feel that hard chest of his against hers. Erin exhaled, the close proximity of their bodies giving her an easier access to study him. Tall and handsome, the crisp dark suit mixed with the intoxicating scent of his cologne made him smolder even more in the dim lightings of the bar. She sighed, having a hard time resisting this beautiful man in front of her. Perhaps it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to throw caution to the wind and have him the way she wanted. If the sparks she felt from just a simple touch of their hands earlier was any sort of preview, then them together in the most carnal way would be straight fire. Fireworks even.
"Maybe one day," she voiced her thought, almost wistfully. Maybe one day, she would be brave enough to put the need for professionalism aside and give into her desires. To stop letting Voight treat her like a child and just do what she wanted. Maybe.
"Oh definitely," he retorted back, the same grin on his face coloring it that she had to roll her eyes affectionately. He just laughed, tossing his hands over her shoulder and bringing her closer to his chest, his cologne invading her nose even more.
They stepped out of the bar, bodies still attached to one another. Jay pulled away just to pull off his jacket and hung it over her shoulder, protecting her from the chill of the night. She smiled her thanks at him. "Always a gentleman," she teased.
She knew there was just another innuendo on the tip of his tongue but he held it back, just pocketing his hand in his pants and walking toward to the curb to hail a cab. "Come on," he called, opening the door for her as she entered the yellow car.
The sexual tension lingered in the car as they sat close to each other, thigh touching thigh. She knew the smarter thing to do was to leave some space between them but it was like their bodies were magnets, needing to remain close to each other. She felt the heat of his body next to her, goosebumps forming immediately as he reached over slowly and gently placed his hand on her bare thigh, just where her dress ended. Maybe he was expecting her to push his hand off, the way he inched toward her slowly and if Erin was a stronger person, she would have. But her resolve was weak and his touch was so electrifying that she didn't stop him. She couldn't.
Instead a sudden boldness took over her. She reached over to hold his hand that was on her thigh and slowly trailed it further up until it was just inside of her thigh. She couldn't face him, not when she felt his eyes on her, a quiet gasp escaped his mouth obviously surprised. Her heart was racing, her breathing quickened as Jay started trailing his fingers on her inner thigh, inching up slowly little by little. She closed her eyes, letting his hand further explore her body, grateful that the back of the taxi remained dark, the driver too caught up with humming along to Coldplay to pay attention to what was happening in the backseat.
His fingers were slowly ghosting over her smooth skin, like they had lips of their own leaving tantalizing kisses on it. She leaned her head to the side, trying to control her mouth from releasing any sounds of pleasure that she was feeling inside. Instead, she reached over to place her hand on his thigh, feeling the hard muscles tensing underneath her touch. She brought her hand further up, just until she began to feel the beginning of his hard length in his pants and she pulled her hand away quickly, like she had been scorched.
She needed to get out of the taxi and get some space because if she had to stay in that small space one more second with him, she was sure she was going to jump him right then and there. Thankfully, the gods above her had some mercy as her apartment building came into view. Jay quickly paid the driver and followed her out and up to the third floor where her apartment was located.
"Erin," there was a strange element to his voice that caught her attention enough for her to pause her fast tracks to her place and turn around. They stood outside of her door, eyes locked onto each other, wondering if it was a good idea to voice what happened in the cab, the line they almost crossed. She watched him licked his lips, butterflies swarming her stomach at the gesture even more, and he leaned forward, lips just inches apart. His eyes bore into hers, searching for something, leaving her to feel expose at what he saw in them. Did he see just how much she wanted him? How just his touch made her crazy with need and desire? How their little moment in the cab made her want to just straddle him? She was sure it was written all over her face.
"Good night," she whispered. His eyes were still locked onto her and she could practically feel her heart pound so hard she was sure he could hear it. "Jay," she barely got his name out before he cut her off by his lips crashing onto hers.
She was taken by surprise by the sudden kiss, her hands reaching up to grip his arms but when his tongue started to ask for entrance, any last remaining resistance she had toward him evaporated. She pulled him closer to her, wrapping her arms around him as she allowed his tongue inside her mouth. She had thought about kissing him before, daydreamed about it even but it was nothing like she imagined. She imagined fire. She had received an inferno.
It was like his lips were just the touch of magic she needed in her life, mouth moving expertly to give her most pleasure. He pressed against her harder and she moaned, loving the pressure. His tongue was exploring her mouth, fighting for dominance against hers and she sucked at it, making him groan, tugging her hips against his closer.
They nipped and sucked and kissed, hands roaming all over each other. He turned her body around so she was resting by the door, his hand holding her back up so she was arching her body towards him. His mouth traveled down to her neck, Erin leaning her head to give him even more access. She gripped his shoulders as he brought his magical mouth down to her bare skin.
"Jay," she grunted, pulling away to calm herself down before they started having sex out in the hallway and giving her neighbors a show. "We got to…"
"Don't stop," Jay groaned, kissing her collarbones. "You taste so good."
"Mmm," she hummed, hands resting on his hips. "Inside," she could barely get her words out coherently. "Inside," she repeated, trying her best to unlock her door without separating Jay's lips from her skin. Somehow she had managed and she pulled Jay inside with her, tossing her stuff on the floor as she crashed backwards into the wall.
She began to pull Jay's suit jacket off of him then began working on the buttons of his shirt while he worked on the zipper on the back of her black dress. He pulled it down slowly, finger trailing the bare skin that was exposed. The buttons on his shirts were frustrating her efforts to get him naked as fast as she could so she tear the shirt until the buttons flew off. "Oops."
"I hated this shirt anyways," was his mumble of a prely before resuming his own mission of undressing her. Her dress met the floor and she sidestepped and kicked the dress to the side. She focused on his belt next, pulling it at to get it off and release its hold on his pants. She moaned when his lips found her neck again, sucking at the skin so hard that she was sure there'd be hickies the next day. But right now she couldn't give a damn. She just needed him. Finally she got the belt off and his pants unzipped and soon, all they had on were their underwear.
Their lips rejoined, Erin's arms going around his neck and he cupped her ass and lifted her up until she straddled him, their cores pressing against each other. "Bedroom," she directed, pointing her fingers towards her room and he carried her there, lips joined the whole trek there.
She bounced slightly as he laid her on the edge of her bed and he stood in between her legs, his hands gripping her shoulders until she looked up and met his eyes. His eyes were glazed over, desire and want clear in them, but she knew without him voicing it that if she told him to stop, he'd do it. She trusted him completely and that trust—that connection between them—was what made it easier for her to continue. She reached behind her back to unhook her bra and pulled the material off her shoulder, his eyes landing her on her bare breasts. She laid back down on the bed and scooted up, her eyes beckoning him to follow her until he was hovering over her.
"Kiss me," she demanded, pulling his head down to reconnect their lips and he obliged easily. Her nails dug into his back when his lips traveled from her lips to her neck before landing on her chest, his tongue teasing her nipples until she shivered all over. She felt the immediate loss of heat and pleasure when he pulled away, hovering over her again. She was about to ask what was wrong until she caught onto his plan. She lifted her body up slightly when he began to pull her lace underwear down her legs and tossed them over his shoulders. She was completely exposed to him, his eyes studying her naked form like he wanted to memorize every inch of her. Instead of feeling nervous or scared under his unwavering gaze, she felt beautiful. She felt desired. It drove her own need to see all of him too.
It was as though he could read her mind, he pulled away to tug his own boxer down until they were both equally exposed. She took him in—all of him—and was impressed by what she saw. Now she understood why he was always so cocky—rightfully confident, according to him. She gave him an impressed look, finding it adorable that he had managed to blush at her approval.
He really was a dichotomy sometimes. He was always straightforward with her but managed to be sensitive to her needs, he saw a lot of things in black and white but allowed for gray when it came to her, he was confident but blushed like a schoolboy under her stare. Somehow the juxtapositions of his traits were what made him him and she wanted all of him.
He sheathed himself and leaned over her again, not yet entering her just like she wanted. Instead, his eyes implored into her one more time, looking for any traces of doubt or hesitancy in them.
"Are you sure?" he whispered, face inches away from hers and she nodded, hoping that he saw nothing in her eyes except her absolute certainty that she wanted this to happen.
"Yes," she assured him, thinking that he needed her to actually voice her permission. That seemed to be what he was looking for and he entered her slowly, her breath sharpening as she adjusted to him. Her fingers gripped his hard shoulder as he inched into her until he filled her up to the hilt. His groan mixed with her moan as he completed her, his body taut and rigid while she adjusted to his length, feeling his cock pulsing inside her. He peered down at her, his fingers grazed her cheeks so tenderly that she lost her breath. Her fingers reached up and thumbed his impossibly smooth jaw—a sign of the length he went to impress her high school nemesis tonight, for her. She smiled softly, ready to go all the way.
"Move," she whispered, lightly bucking up her hips so he'd start moving his hips. It was slow at first, his hips moving in a slow rhythm to start their rollercoaster ride to the stars. Soon enough, he quickened his pace until it matched their breaths. But she wanted—no, needed—him deeper so she tangled her legs around him and tightened her hold until he got the wordless message. His fingers gripped her hips as he snapped his hips harder, his cock going in and out of her until he was fucking her at a pace she desperate craved. Her cries of pleasure were broken, loud and needy and they only seemed to spurred him on even more, his fingers gripping her hips tighter. He grunted, mouths releasing almost incoherent words about how good she felt and how beautiful she was but she understood.
The bed creaked louder and louder as he drove inside her again and again, her back and hip bucking up to meet his every motion. She was getting close, she felt it coming and when he reached his fingers down and found her clit, she was a goner. She cried out her release, her legs trembling at reaching her peak and she wrapped her arms around him while he sought out his own. After a few more snaps, his hips stuttered then he stilled, finally finding his own peak and he released the most sinful sound she had ever heard in her life as he emptied himself.
She pulled him down until his weight was completely on her as they recovered from their highs. She felt him still inside her, his cock twitching ever so slightly and she clenched herself around him, not wanting him to exit just yet. They were both breathing hard, hearts racing a million miles a minute but somehow he found enough energy to press kisses onto her damp skin before meeting her lips, a breathtaking conclusion to what just happened between them.
"I can't believe that just happened," his voice broke the quiet atmosphere and she turned her head to face him, an eye squinted open. She was lying on her stomach while he laid on his back, both of them still recovering from their strenuous activity. "I mean, that was fucking amazing but I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around that it actually happened."
"You having regrets Halstead?" her tone was unreadable, like she was bracing herself for him saying that it was a mistake, that it shouldn't have happened.
Jay was quick to quell any doubts though, turning so he was on his side facing her and placing an arm around her naked back, fingers running on her smooth skin. "No," he answered quickly. "No regrets here. Not when it feels that amazing." She chuckled slightly, eyes gazing at his face. His hair was a mess and his forehead was sweaty but the healthy flush he had on his face made him even more gorgeous than before. "You?"
Now it was his turn to sound nervous as he waited for her answer. She bit her lips, thinking of the line they just crossed in their relationship. It felt right, their bodies felt like they were made for each other. He certainly knew what he was doing, how to touch, kiss and tease her just right until she felt the ultimate pleasure. "No regrets here either."
That seemed to please him and he smiled, scooting closer to her until he was close enough to kiss her. it was a soft and languid kiss, in complete contrast to the frantic ones they had before. He was still smiling as he pulled away, resting his forehead against her. She could practically see the hope in his eyes, see the expectations he now had written in them so clearly. Her eyes fluttered close when his lips found her forehead, kissing the damp skin there. "Jay," her voice was hoarse and raspy, she dreaded what she was about to say but knowing it needed to be set.
"Yeah?" he asked nervously, picking up on her tone easily. He also knew her so well. "Erin?"
She opened her eyes so she was looking at him. "That was great, it was," she started, "But we work together. We're partners. And there's rules…." She already felt him pulling away even before she finished her thoughts, like he was walling himself off from her inevitable rejection. "Not to mention, there's Hank."
"I really don't want to talk about Voight," Jay cut her off. "Not when I'm naked in bed with you."
She let out a small laugh. "Fair enough," she reached for his hand. "It's just that we need to be professional. And I don't regret what we did, I don't."
"Sounds like you're regretting it to me," Jay retorted. She pulled his hand closer to her, clutched it to her chest.
"I don't," she repeated. "But like I was saying, we work together."
"So?" Jay shot back. He sighed, shaking off her hold on him and placing his hand on her hips, thumbing it. "Look Erin, I get how important your career is to you. How important Voight is. But what we just did, it had never been like that for me," he confessed. "With anyone ever."
She sucked in her cheeks. "Me too," she admitted.
"I don't know what's going to happen in the future," Jay continued, "But all I know is that I don't think I can have this just be a one-time thing. It feels too good to be just a one night stand. I know you feel it too."
"So what do we do?"
Jay shrugged, hands palming her face now. "I'll take whatever you'll give me Erin. The ball is in your court. You want to give this—us—a real try? I'll face Voight's wrath. All I know is that I can't give this up, not after I found out how amazing it is."
She sighed, a dilemma in her head. She knew she couldn't give him up either. It felt too good with Jay. But there was everything else too. But the sex. "How about for now, we take it casual."
"Define casual."
"Sex, when we need it," Erin replied, fingers grazing his bare back. "This when we crave it. Professional other times."
He frowned, "You mean friends with benefits? No strings attached?"
She nodded, biting her lips. "That's all I can give you right now Jay." He remained quiet as he let her suggestion sink into his head and she waited with bated breath for his answer. That was all she could give him right now and she didn't know what she'd do if he didn't agree to it, demanding something more.
He pulled away from her, resting on his back again. "Jay?"
"Okay," he finally answered. "Okay. If friends with benefits is all you can do then we'll do that." She smiled at his reply, her chest feeling a little bit lighter at him agreeing to a no strings attached relationship. She looked up to study his face, finding it a little bit more closed than it was five minutes before. So she took a risk and reached out to touch his face, trying to soften him and bring him back to her. She lifted herself and rested her weight on her elbow until she was hovering over him, her hair forming a veil around their faces. He looked up and met her eyes, giving her a small smile.
"So what do you say, friend?" she quirked her brows suggestively. "Ready for another round? Make sure we both really understand what the benefits are?" She teased him, her fingers trailing up and down his chest. He seemed like he couldn't resist her offer, finally that grin making it back onto his face.
"Oh yeah," he murmured before she leaned down to meet his waiting lips. She let out a small squeal when his hands grabbed her and pull her over so she straddled him. "I need to know what all the benefits our new arraignment entails. Show me?"
She laughed, her palm resting on his chest. "Gladly," she rasped, bending her head down to just that.
For some reason this idea wouldn't leave my head for the few couple of days so I just had to write it down. I don't know. I'm such a sucker for early seasons-Linstead. Ah I miss them.
PSA though just in case you guys miss them too. Amazon Prime Video has season 1-5 on it so if you have Prime, you can watch the early days of Linstead. Don't be like me and spend over $100 on actually paying for those seasons.
Anyways, let me know what you guys think.
