Chapter 5: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
That first week flew by, with Break Man, Mega Man, and a few of their friends apparently trying to make up for lost time, cramming years of missed experiences into a couple days. By day four Bass holed up in Dr. Cossack's citadel. "If anyone asks, I'm not here." That seemed to get the message across, and the last two days were decidedly less hectic.
He'd gotten stares, mostly because of the 'tattoos', but that was the extent of it. As far as he could tell, no one suspected that he was a robot.
Then, all too soon, it was time for 'touch, take two'.
What followed was a week and a half of Bass being uncharacteristically jumpy, violently startled anytime anyone— or anything— touched him. He walked around with extreme caution, taking great pains not to accidentally brush up against anything, and always switched back to the proximity sensors before dropping into idle mode so as not to be taken by surprise.
As he adjusted, the pendulum swung the other way. By the third week he was touching everything and anything that he could get his hands on. This was kind of a problem, because as it turned out, Bass did not have a very good sense of personal boundaries. Or appropriate contact. Or polite behavior. Eager to sample the vast rich variety of textures out there, he simply wanted to feel the difference between the crisp starched fabric of Dr. Cossack's lab coat and the breezy well-worn cotton of his favorite button-down shirt.
Or to see how the skin of Dr. Cossack's hands were rough and leathery compared to Giertz's smooth and supple compared to Oma Wily's impossibly soft and delicate compared to Break Man's slightly rubbery.
Or to find out if Dr. Light's beard was as springy and wiry and fuzzy as it looked.
(It was.)
With an exasperated sigh, Dr. Light gently swatted the robot's hand away. "Would you stop— Bass, you can't just—" He rubbed his temples. "Why are you here?"
He was rarely this short with anyone, but in his defense, Bass had just wandered over and started randomly stroking his beard.
"Waiting for Break Man," he replied with a shrug.
"Well, perhaps you could wait outside?"
"Oh. Okay." He could take a hint— because he was learning, darn it.
Before he left, Roll popped into the lab. "Hey, are you still all sensitive about being touched?"
"No." Bass rolled his eyes as if he hadn't just spent the last week a skittish bundle of nerves.
She approached and held out one hand, palm flat, slowly reaching over. For a moment she allowed her hand to hover a half-inch over him, then firmly planted it on his upper chest, near the shoulder.
He flinched.
"Mhmmmmm," she said, amused. "You know, this whole time I've been wondering… are you ticklish?"
"What?"
"You know. Ticklish."
He stared in confusion. "I have no idea what that means."
With an evil grin, she generously provided a demonstration.
(He was.)
Bass made a sound that could only be described as inhuman and shoved her harder than was appropriate.
Roll responded by slapping him in the face.
He stepped back, stunned, raising an arm to shield himself from further walloping, and gingerly placing his free hand over the spot she'd struck him.
"Roll!" said Dr. Light. "Are you hurt?" he asked Bass.
"I'm fine," he replied quickly, but his expression said otherwise. It was his first time experiencing physical pain, and clearly… he didn't like it. He also knew that he could never, ever admit that to anyone. "I— Tell Break Man I'm going to go over to— who am I kidding? I'm gonna go shoot things."
Without waiting for an acknowledgment, he teleported away.
It'd been a while since Break Man had been out to one of the demolished Skull Fortresses. Nature was slowly reclaiming this one, but it didn't look much different from the last time he saw it. Bass was perched on a beam that jutted out from the rubble.
"Sup?"
He looked uneasy. "Dr. Cossack is not finished with my armor."
"And…?"
"…And I need to be ready by the time it's done."
"Ready for what?"
"What do you think?" He pulled a face. "Either I switch back to proximity sensors every time I go into battle, or I need to get used to being hit. So." Bass jumped down. "Shoot me."
Break Man's incredulous look was apparent even through his shades. "Kid, you don't have any armor on. This isn't just a bad idea, it's a phenomenally stupid idea."
"I didn't ask for your opinion, nerd."
Heaving a sigh, Break Man reached down, grabbed a small stone, and chucked it— a glancing blow that struck Bass on the left temple.
"Ow! Crap!"
"I'm going to be honest with you, a part of me enjoyed that."
Glaring, Bass clasped his head where he'd been struck. Then he looked confused and pulled his hand away. "Why do people do that? It's not helping. It doesn't do anything."
"You're doing it because you've seen humans do it. Humans do it because of the way their nerves and brain process stimulus. It works for them, but you're right, it won't do anything for you."
Break Man approached and patted him on the back.
"Unfortunately, you're also right about having to get used to taking a beating."
With that, he punched him in the side.
"Ughh, I hate you so much right now."
"I didn't even hit you that hard…" He offered a warm smile. "But that's enough for today. Look, you'll build up a tolerance. In the meantime, do NOT try taking a plasma blast without armor on, Bass. I'm not kidding."
Once his schedule opened up, Dr. Cossack resumed doing annual maintenance on his Robot Masters, which he'd postponed because of the rebuild and was now way behind.
Bass wasn't sure how to feel about them. With Dr. Wily, the others had been competition. An insult. A reminder that Wily saw him as a failure. The Cossack Numbers, however, were built for specific industries. Construction, or the exploration of hazardous places, or…
"I don't understand why he looks like a frog. What do frogs have to do with irrigation?"
"It's toad. 'Toad Man'."
"Toads are a type of frog— but that just proves my point! Toads usually live in dry habitats, so that makes even less sense." Hands on his hips, Bass gave the Robot Master a condescending look. "Plus, he looks kinda stupid."
"Well, I don't think so. I may be biased, however, seeing that Kalinka helped me with the design…"
"…Oh. Um…"
He chuckled. "It's alright. I can see how, ah, a child's whimsy might seem silly from an outside perspective."
Flustered, Bass sulked for a bit after that. It certainly hadn't helped endear him to Toad Man or any of the other Cossack 'bots. When he came back later, it didn't look like any progress had been made. "How long is this going to take?"
"As long as it takes," Dr. Cossack said with a smile. "It would be faster if I wasn't working alone. Since you're already here, would you like to give me a hand with this?"
"No," Bass replied.
But he did anyway.
A small crowd had gathered in the arcade to watch as Mega Man and Bass went at each other's throats— in game, of course. With reaction time far faster than any human, the game's hardware struggled to keep up with them. The spot was on its way to becoming a regular hangout, and this time they were there with mutual friend 'Lyric' and her boyfriend Sean.
"How do they do that?" wondered one awe-struck spectator.
"Don't you know?" A beaming staff member— distracted from her job— replied. "That's Mega Man!"
Bass shot her a glare from over his shoulder, a move that cost him a few points. Points he couldn't really afford to lose.
"…and Bass," she added quickly.
"Who?"
"Ugh!" He was distracted enough that he lost that round. Abandoning the joystick he turned, ready to recall his armor and make a scene. It wouldn't be the first time— there was a reason the staff knew who he was. Mega Man grabbed his shirt and pulled him close.
"Is that really a good idea?"
Disgusted, Bass jerked free from his grasp.
"You should do an interview with Leanne Niccoles. She helped set the record straight with Break Man, and was very fair in her reporting."
He growled as he returned to the game. "I shouldn't have to, as many times as I've saved this stupid planet…"
It wasn't entirely unfair. Break Man's reputation had been smeared by Wily. Bass, on the other hand, got his start as a genuine villain. Over the years he'd reluctantly waded into anti-hero territory, and after Wily died, continued that path… but his old reputation had been justly earned, and never really gone away.
Musing over all this, Mega Man lost the next round.
"Come on," said Sean. "Let's go grab a bite."
"How about you two dweebs go, and leave us alone?" Bass replied. Neither robot could eat, and he seemed annoyed by the disruption.
"No, let's go with them," said Mega Man. "I'm getting bored with this anyway." When his competitive nature kicked in he could play electronic games for days on end, but today he just wasn't feeling it.
They pushed their way through the crowd, some people reaching out to touch Mega Man or ask for his autograph or trying to take a candid picture on their handheld com unit. Irate, Bass swatted one poor guy's com right out of his hands, sending it flying into the air and over the crowd, hitting the floor with an audible 'crunch'. That was the end of that, and the crowd eased up, giving them some breathing room.
At the food court no one recognized them and they got some peace and quiet— as much as one could expect in a mall food court.
"So, I can't help notice," Lyric said slyly. "Break Man isn't around."
"Oh, he's been busy. Don't ask me with what, you know he needs to keep his secrets," Mega Man replied with a grin.
"It just seems like you two are hanging out a lot more than you used to." She glanced suggestively from Mega Man to Bass.
Blissfully unaware, Mega Man nodded. "Yeah, I guess we have."
Bass, wise to the ways of the Mega Man Fan Club, knew where she was going.
"Oh no. No. Don't get any cute ideas. This isn't your fantasy 'relay' crap."
Lyric giggled, and Sean hung his head in embarrassment.
"Guys, I just want to say that I don't support any of that. I'm a Robot Master stats kind of nerd," said Sean. He wanted to stay as neutral on the topic as he could.
Mega Man blinked in confusion. "What?"
"You know. 'Relay'." When that was met with a blank look, Bass shook his head. "Jeez, do you ever go on the net? Or do you live under a rock?" He cut Mega Man off before he could respond with some kind of pun. "Your fans— your fans— love to draw pictures and write stories about you."
"Wait, seriously?" Mega Man shrunk down in his seat, terribly self-conscious about this news. "Why… oh, gosh. That's so, um… It's, er, really flattering. I'm just not used to that much attention…" He laughed nervously.
"You wouldn't think it's flattering if you knew the sort of stories they're writing," he said, and crossed his arms. "Some of them are adventures, but most of them are relay… net shorthand for relationship."
"I don't see what the big deal is. I have good relationships with everyone I know."
Bass made a sound that was somewhere between a snort and a laugh. "Guess again, stupid."
Dr. Cossack's face was unreadable. "What I don't understand is how setting it on fire could've possibly helped."
"Don't look at me," Mega Man said. He'd done the best he could to keep things from getting out of control, and it felt like his efforts just made it worse. Lyric and Sean hadn't been much help either. If only Break Man had been there, he could've talked some reason into Bass… but alas.
"I figured it would kill two birds with one stone," Bass replied, "and—"
"No. No, on second thought, I don't want to hear this. You're grounded until further notice."
"Oh dear," said Dr. Light.
"'Grounded'? But I'm already— you don't mean electrical grounding. What's that supposed to mean?"
"In Kalinka's case it meant 'go directly to your room after school, no com, no computer.' In your case, I suppose I have no choice but to shut off your com unit and weapons system—"
"WHAT!? Are you out of your mind!? You can't—!"
He held up a hand. "You agreed to the terms—"
"For safety not for kicks!"
"Do you think I enjoy this?"
Bass glowered at him.
Eyes wide, Mega Man watched all of this with one hand pressed over his mouth. He was incredulous but also pretty amused.
This wasn't the first time Bass had done something wrong, just the first time it was bad enough to land him in the corner for a time out. …At least, that Dr. Cossack knew about.
"You agreed," Dr. Cossack repeated. "You'll have to earn those privileges back, because you're the one who decided to set that poor meter reader robot on fire. No one made you do that."
"I—! Listen you moron, you can't— you can't just—!" Bass was sputtering, and he was furious but it was more than that. He was not equipped to deal with Dr. Cossack's calm demeanor, or firm but fair discipline. Disagreements between them were rare and arguments rarer, but when they did happen, Dr. Cossack was quick to shut them down by de-escalating things and ignoring Bass's outbursts. It always threw him for a loop. "Stupid jerk! Argh!"
As quick as he was to fly off the handle, he just as quickly lost steam when it failed to provoke a reaction. He faltered.
"…Can't we— can't we just have a screaming fight and threaten each other?"
Dr. Cossack raised his eyebrows questioningly, but didn't say anything.
"Feh." With that, Bass gave him a dirty look and left.
"Wow," said Mega Man. "I can't believe I just watched that happen."
For all of ten seconds Dr. Cossack kept a straight face, then he started cracking up. "Ttt— eh heh he! That rascal. I never know what he'll get into next!"
"You find this funny?" Dr. Light's mood quickly shifted from 'sympathetic' to 'bewildered'.
"Isn't it? Such a strange little robot! He certainly keeps me on my toes."
"He set a public facilities robot on fire."
"I know." Dr. Cossack burst into another round laughter. "That's why I disciplined him." Grinning, he put his hand on Dr. Light's arm. "This was not malicious, it was mischief. You know what he's capable of. If he was trying to be destructive, we'd be dealing with a lot more than a crispy meter reader."
"I suppose…" He paused and scratched at his beard. "Aren't you concerned about getting into trouble?"
"For this? Not especially. I've been expecting something like this to happen sooner or later. Sergeant Jahveri had some very helpful suggestions on how to handle this kind of… incident." In this case, he already knew what to do: claim that a digital object identification error caused Bass to mistake the meter reader robot for a threat, a 'software issue' which he could easily 'fix'. Dr. Cossack had no qualms about playing these games… as far as he was concerned, the system was broken. "No one was hurt, and the damages were contained. At most, they will probably fine me for the repairs."
Mega Man broke into a grin. "You know, Dr. Cossack, Bass is really lucky you're so understanding."
"Heh. What can I say? I was a bit of a rascal myself, once." He got a far away look. "My brothers and I used to make… 'fireworks'— yes, we'll go with 'fireworks'— and set them off in the woods behind the house. We used my chemistry set to time how quickly different things would melt in acid. Then there was the sawblade launcher we built…" There was a brief pause, and he slowly shook his head. "It was a miracle any of us survived to adulthood. Although Piotr did lose three fingers when— ah, well, obviously the sawblade thing was a very bad idea."
Dr. Light and Mega Man exchanged glances, but were smart enough not to ask any follow up questions.
- A/N: Lyric, Sean, Leanne Niccoles © Mandi Paugh
- Special thanks to MiggyBird for feedback and suggestions.
- Just a quick reminder that in this 'verse, other robots can't think and feel. This was property damage, not like, murder of a sapient being.
