Chapter 8: Flying on my nimbus
The school talked of nothing but Sirius Black for the next few days. The theories about how he had entered the castle became wilder and wilder; Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, spent much of their next Herbology class telling anyone who'd listen that Black could turn into a flowering shrub.
Neville, completely nonplussed, had asked her, "But what would be the use of that?"
Hannah didn't answer.
The Fat Lady's ripped canvas had been taken off the wall and replaced with the portrait of Sir Cadogan and his fat gray pony. Nobody was very happy about this.
Sir Cadogan, however, was the least of Harry's worries. The biggest one was the bind their plans had fallen into. With full moon close, he knew time alone with Lupin would be nigh impossible, but even aside from that, he had not told Ron yet that he had talked with Lupin.
Which led to the crux. Ron was not talking to him. He completely ignored him. He wasn't much of company either, trailing Hermione all day long, which was bad enough, since she herself was not speaking much. She was quite silent in class, and Harry had a feeling McGonnagal knew the reason. He had apologised to her, and she had waved it off, quite sincerely, in his opinion, but Ron was still stubbornly mad.
Ron.
What a git. Couldn't he just talk this through. If he wanted to punch him, couldn't he just go through with that. It was maddening. For the past four days, they would sit together, with Ron in between, and they would exchange 10 sentences by the end of the day.
It also didn't help that he was now being closely watched. Teachers found excuses to walk along corridors with him, and Percy Weasley was tailing him everywhere like an extremely pompous guard dog. He was, atleast, polite enough not to enquire into his 'fight' with Ron. Or maybe he didn't notice. It was thankfully different from the incessant interrogations from their yearmates.
To cap it all, Professor McGonagall summoned Harry into her office, with such a somber expression on her face Harry thought someone must have died. Well, someone did. But it was 12 years ago. He mused internally, surprised at the sarcastic response to his parent's death. But Sirius didn't kill them. He….didn't want to think about this.
"There's no point hiding it from you any longer, Potter," she said in a very serious voice. "I know this will come as a shock to you, but Sirius Black —"
"I know you think he's after me," said Harry wearily. "I read about it. It isn't that hard to find"-He replied at McGonnagal's raised eyebrows-"Prophet archives in the library."
"I will take care, professor. I know you want to stop me from playing quidditch, but isn't Hogwarts supposed to be the safest place for me? "
McGonnagal nodded, though she had something on her mind, Harry could tell. He had that feeling that, unlike last time, the thing with Sirius was not the reason for the summons.
"Potter, the headmaster requests your presence Friday night. He also wants to talk to Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley."
Harry was shocked at this. He momentarily felt the brief fear that Dumbledore knew about their true nature but he couldn't. Lupin wouldn't have told, and he and Ron were always careful. Always careful. It was the number one rule.
He walked out of the office feeling unnerved, as if he was preparing for a duel without a wand.
Ron, gruffly enquired about the meeting but Harry just shrugged. They would need to be alone before he said something. They walked out of Transfiguration, silently.
Hermione murmured something about going to the Library and Ron immediately agreed, saying he needed to finish his potions essay. Harry just waved them goodbye and walked back to the common room, feeling very gloomy and depressed.
"You don't have to keep it in, you know"
"What?"
"Don't pretend. You know what I am talking about."
"Ro-"
"Don't you trust me? Do you really think I will think any differently of you, if you tell me your fears, the thing which has been eating you all along?"
"I do trust you. I just hate feeling that way"
"I think that hate will lessen if you aren't alone."
"I don't make great company"
"I don't want to be anywhere else right now. Here, Madam Pince is busy and we always have the Muffialto charm . It will be fine"
"I always wondered regarding the Mu-"
"Hermione!"
"Alright. I don't know how to start."
"Just take a deep breath and start. Don't think about it, just speak"
"That's contradictory"
"Hermione!"
"What? You know me, I can't stop thinking"
"But you can remove your indecisions"
"Inhibitions would have been a better fit"
"Hermione!"
The weather worsened steadily as the first Quidditch match drew nearer. Undaunted, the Gryffindor team was training harder than ever looking to win their first cup. Then, at their final training session before Saturday's match, Oliver Wood gave his team some expected but unwelcome news.
"They have no plans on postponing the match, even with a chance of thunderstorm"
" Have you ever played in such weather before?" ,Katie Bell asked.
"Never this violent" ,Oliver conceded. " I guess we won't even have 15 points of visibility here. It makes everything tough, communication and following the play"
There had been strong winds and heavy rain all day, and as Wood spoke, they heard a distant rumble of thunder.
"I may have an idea on how to at least maintain decent visibility during the game" Harry said.
Wood looked as though he could have kissed him.
The day before the match, the winds reached howling point and the rain fell harder than ever. It was so dark inside the corridors and classrooms that extra torches and lanterns were lit. The Slytherin team was looking nervous too, and that raised some alarms in the other houses. How bad could the weather get?
Harry was happy that Ron and Hermione had talked it through or something. They were back to normal, even though his relationship with Ron had not progressed much. He had hugged Hermione and they had made up, but Ron had scowled the entire team, it was anybody's guess whether it was resentment or jealousy, though Harry wished it was neither.
Harry had told them about their upcoming meeting with Dumbledore and Ron had appeared vexed, though when Harry had asked him what to do, Ron had replied, "Why, don't you have any brilliant plans?"
Harry had pretty much ignored him through the morning after that. He was more surprised by how their slytherin informants were treating them. Tracy had waved at him before exiting the great hall, while Greengrass had merely inconspicuously nodded.
Malfoy had completely ignored him. When Harry had tried to talk to him, he had simply glared at him and trash talked about the impending match. This had made him late for DADA, so he ran for it. He cursed himself for getting late, because he knew who would be there today.
Harry skidded to a halt outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, pulled the door open, and dashed inside.
"This lesson began ten minutes ago, Potter, so I think we'll make it ten points from Gryffindor. Sit down."
"Wow, you must be feeling generous today" Harry retorted. His temper was rising and it didn't help that nearly all the people he talked to were behaving erratically around him.
"I will make it 15"
"Great, so you do know how to count, I always wondered"
The class tittered and Snape flushed a deep purple. Even Ron looked happily surprised.
"You are this close to getting a detention, Potter. Better sit down, before I make you spend the nights cleaning our esteemed halls." Snape grinned vindictive as Harry took a seat.
"As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far —"
"Please, sir, we've done boggarts, Red Caps, kappas, and grindylows," said Hermione quickly, "and we're just about to start —"
"Be quiet," said Snape coldly. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization."
"Today we shall discuss —" Harry watched him flick through the textbook, to the very back chapter. "— werewolves," said Snape.
"But, sir," said Hermione, seemingly unable to restrain herself, "we're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start hinkypunks —"
"Miss Granger," said Snape in a voice of deadly calm, "I was under the impression that I am teaching this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394." He glanced around again.
"Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?" asked Snape and then promptly ignored Hermione's raised hand. Harry glared at him, looking him in the eye and telling him that he was doing a very cruel thing. Save by his slight eyebrow quirk, Snape gave no indication that he had promptly read Harry's thoughts. He continued berating everyone and showed his irritation when Hermione answered him.
"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."
Hermione went very red, put down her hand, and stared at the floor with her eyes full of tears. Ron was trying to restrain himself from saying anything that could cause problems for them but Harry had no such qualms.
"Great, at least Professor Lupin didn't want us not to answer him in his class"
"If he does allow interruptions easily, that is a blot on his teaching methods"
"He's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had," said Dean Thomas boldly, and there was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the class. Snape looked more menacing than ever.
"You are easily satisfied-" Snape started.
"Yet, we don't like potions, after being taught by you for the past three years. No doubt about that" Ron quipped, with an insolent grin.
Hermione was looking more and more surprised.
The class knew instantly he'd gone too far. Snape advanced on Ron slowly, and the room held its breath. "Detention, Weasley," Snape said silkily, his face very close to Ron's. "And if I ever hear you criticize the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed."
"It won't work anyway. You are far too thick-headed to actually listen." Ron was not backing down and even Harry now felt that he was stretching it too far. He desperately hoped Ron's occlumency barriers held.
"What did you say?" Snape whispered.
"Boo-hoo, get over it. You are actually paid to teach. If perhaps you could look past your own nose-" His voice was getting progressively louder.
"SHUT UP WEAS-" Snape was getting progressively purple-er.
"-and see your own foolish favoring of your pet snakes. YOU ARE A GROWN MAN, STOP HOLDING GRUDGES WITH KIDS, SNIVELLUS"
Snape just took Ron's arm. "Off to the headmaster now, you insolent brat". Snape had never looked more dangerous.
Ron snatched out his arm from Snape and Harry noticed his ears were red too. "I know where the office is. If you are even twice as good at directions, than teaching, it will take us months to reach there"
Harry stifled a groan and a laugh as the odd pair walked out of the class.
There was a pin-drop silence as no one said anything, too shocked at the outburst from Ron. Even people well versed with his temper would never have expected this.
"What the fuck?" Seamus Finnegan exclaimed.
Even Hermione couldn't have articulated it better.
It was the talk of the school. The outburst had made Ron a hero and Dean sweared, that he saw a couple of first year 'puffs saying that they wanted to ask Ron for his autograph.
Ron had remained silent though grinning ever since he came back. His grin got more pronounced as Hermione continued berating him and after 20 minutes of congratulations and admonishments, they found a secluded corner of the common room to talk. Harry asked him regarding his detentions.
"D'you know what that" — (he called Snape something that made Hermione say "Ron!") — "is making me do? I've got to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing. Without magic!" It would have been whining except Ron was chuckling. Hermione was surprised at this and asked him why he was chuckling.
"Do you think I would listen to him? Its scourgify and run for me"
"Won't he come in to check?"
"Don't worry. I am quite good at faking the work I am supposed to do"
"What did Dumbledore say?" Harry asked. He had been terrified that Ron's agitated state did not lead to Dumbledore easily reading his mind and memories.
"Surprised. But he did let me go off easily. He told Snape that I will serve my detention next Friday as he has a meeting with us tonight. Snape got more angry, which was awesome-"
"Are you sure that it was right to do this?" Harry asked, and regretted it immediately.
"Bit rich coming from you!"
"Don't-"
"I don't even want to talk to-"
"This is quite enough, Ron. You can't keep ignoring me an-"
"Why not?'
"I'm...useful"
"Harry, you are dumber than a block of wood and not nearly as useful. Don't be confused."
"You know what Ron, You should put a condom on your head, because if you're going to act like a dick you better dress like one too."
"Really, maybe if-"
"Enough. What are you even doing? Why are you guys insulting each other?" Hermione asked.
Ron opened his mouth, presumably to respond, but Harry simply looked at his watch and said, "It doesn't matter. We need to go to Dumbledore's office anyway"
Harry turned to look at Ron when she had exited the portrait hole. " Could you please control your anger in front of him"
"You think you're hot shit, don't you m'lord" Ron started and they continued to bicker all the way to their destination.
It seemed their life had given them loads of burns to address to each other, because they were on a roll for the entirety of the 10 minute walk. Hermione tuned them out as she walked, enjoying the feel of the castle beneath her soles.
"-Get a damn life ,you uncultured cranberry fucknut." Clearly, they had gone even deeper into their efforts to insult each other. Thankfully they stopped when they reached the front of the gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office.
"Professor Dumbledore is expecting us" Harry said stoically, and he and Ron nodded at each other, their argument forgotten. Dumbledore was an accomplished legilimens. They needed to be on guard.
Hermione always admired their camaraderie. How they could forget their current altercations and just cover each other's back. It sometimes made her feel left out.
"Enter"
It was a large and beautiful circular room, full of funny little noises. A number of curious silver instruments stood on spindle-legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke. The walls were covered with portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames. Hermione had heard Harry describe the room last year but it was a quaint thing. It was certainly more interesting than most of the rooms in the castle with the possible exception of the library.
"I realize that it is late, and , here, has a match to play tomorrow, so I will be direct. I have invited you here to clear any misconceptions you have regarding the safety of students in the castle. I am , of course, referring to the incident on Halloween"
Dumbledore's speech was gentle and smooth but it reinforced his omniscience. Both Harry and Ron were surprised, their poker face failing them. They had never expected that their interactions with Nott and his 'team' had an audience.
Harry, after quickly recovering from the shock, had started to review, behind his occlumency shields, what he and Ron had done. If Dumbledore had seen them performing any magic higher than their age, it would have raised his suspicions. And he wasn't looking forward to carrying forward their plans, under his scrutiny. He wondered if he knew anything about Ron's patronus but instantly recovered when Dumledore continued.
"I have several charms active and when Mr. Rosier put a body-bind curse on you and transported you to a less-populated part of the castle, the alarms tripped and we appareted there."
"We didn't hear you" Harry asked and he knew the answer before it had been said. A silencing charm on that part of the castle. Dumbledore was the Headmaster ,that counted for something.
Hermione, however, had a different question. Of course, she did!
"But professor, you can't disapparate or apparate inside Hogwarts. How did you-"
"Being me has its privileges" Dumbledore replied with a wry chuckle.
Ron, for his part, couldn't believe that he knew. Dumbledore knew; probably, watched it too, while it happened. What could have happened. He tried to control his anger but it spilled out. The headmaster flicked a glance at him, and Ron knew that he knew.
"Mr. Weasley, had you and Mr. Potter not entered the situation-"
"You knew." His voice was a whisper. Harry had told him to control his temper, but thinking of Harry also made him mad, and it was too much. "You didn't do anything."
"Like I was saying, if the two of you were not there, I would have stunned the perpetrators and sent Ms. Granger back"
"That's all it is, isn't it? Would have sent her back. This is safety?!" Ron was seething. How could this man be so indifferent?
Harry understood. It was a matter of choosing your battles and maintaining safety instead of punishing those who won't be prosecuted anyway, due to their family ties.
"You know what, I don't care. I am going to watch my back anyway, because your definition of safety and mine are very different, Headmaster. Can I be excused? His politeness was positively dripping but Dumbledore merely smiled and nodded.
What the fuck? Is he under the imperius or something? He just messed with the two people we did not want to, today. Dumbledore showed no reaction at Ron's storming out but instead just explained to Hermione, who by the end of it, looked like her before the incident. Harry felt glad that she felt safe again, that she believed Hogwarts would not let anything happen to her. Ron was not of the same mindset.
After relieving Hermione, he asked Harry to remain behind for a minute and Harry, again, felt his senses dial to 11. His mind barrier up, he faced the headmaster.
"You should have not said that to Professor Dumbledore, Ron"
"Stop hissing at me"
"Ronald!"
"Okay, why don't you rely on him from now on?"
"I don't need-"
"I'm sorry, I should not have said that"
"It's alright, at least you recognize your mistake"
"I meant my previous statement, not the dumbledore one"
"Ronald!"
"What? The guy's mental. Bloody mental."
"No, he isn't. He is just-"
"A pervert? A madman? A power-hungry buffoon?"
"Ronald!"
Well, to be honest, this constant vigilance shit has finally fucked my mind Harry thought as he exited the office, bidding the headmaster goodnight. He had thought it would have been some sort of an interrogation, some sort of "Harry, do you wish to tell me anything?" but it was just Dumbledore talking to him about Sirius, telling him about his 'betrayal'. He had feigned some emotion, which had not been too difficult, since a betrayal did happen, only Sirius was not the one to do it. And he had promised, upon Dumbledore's insistence, that he won't do anything to jeopardize his safety. Ah, well, it was a stupid thing to promise, anyway.
It was Ron that he worried about. Irritated about. He wanted to kill the guy, right now. He was taking risks, risks he wouldn't dare take, if he would use his pea-sized mush. The one in his head.
He heard voices and he followed it, recognizing them both. It was getting maddening now, he was arguing with both of them. At Least he wasn't vindictive. Contrary to what he wanted to believe, Harry had not forgotten the horcrux hunt and Ron's behaviour. However much control the locket had on Ron, he was truly bitter in his words, and they stung a lot more than his fist ever could have.
As he reached them, he realized that they weren't exactly arguing, though Harry could see Ron was seething.
"Hermione, I need to talk to Ron for some time. We will meet you back in the common room"
"I have no interest in talking to you."
"I was not asking"
Something in Harry's voice must have given both of them a hint, as Hermione disappeared and Harry took Ron by his elbow and shoved him into an empty classroom.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Harry asked. "Pissing off Snape and then talking back to Dumbledore. You realized that any 13 year old with even some sense would never do this."
"Right, go on defending your poor snivellus. The misunderstood bastard. The man with a golden heart. The-"
"SHUT UP. I have had enough of you messing things up. Control your goddamn temper before you ruin everything."
"Yes, the great Harry Potter plan. The only fucking thing you care about"
"Yes. YES. THIS IS THE GODDAMN POINT. Think of all the sacrifices we made. Neville and his daughter. All your family-"
"The remaining ones" He interrupted with a dark whisper but Harry ignored it.
"-a whole generation. And, even, Hermione-"
"Don't you dare take her name"
"Ro-" *CRACK* and, again, Harry was interrupted, this time by Ron's fist which had, without a doubt, broken his nose. It bled and it hurt, but he had suffered worse, and his pain was being overshadowed by the feeling of triumph that they were finally getting to what was bugging Ron for so long.
"You think that using her name would make me do anything? You dare use her name, after what you have done" His voice was low but emotional. Very emotional, the primary emotion being pain.
"What have I done-" He began.
"I NEARLY LOST HER. YOU, AND YOUR COCKED-UP HALF ASSED JOKE OF A PLAN, NEARLY DESTROYED EVERYTHING. USING HER AS A FUCKING BAIT. WHAT IF WE HAD BEEN LATE? WHAT IF, EVEN ,SODDING DUMBLEDORE MESSED IT UP? "
Harry held his breath as Ron spilled everything that had been tormenting him for so long.
"BUT NO, THE CHOSEN ONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT, ISN'T HE? JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO RISK YOUR LIFE EVERY 5 SECONDS, DOES NOT MEAN EVERYONE SHARES THAT HOBBY? YOU ARE A GORMLESS KNOB. YOU ARE A BLIGHT ON EVERY-"
Ron broke down, crying and landed on his knees. His right hand, one with blood on it, on the floor as his left hand covered his face. It finally hit Harry what he had done, the guilt he had been trying to bury. Ron thought that he did not care. He agreed with Ron that it had been a stupid plan.
Harry was absolutely rubbish at chess but he had just attempted a Queen's gambit. And nearly lost.
He knelt besides Ron, and laid a hand on his shoulder and started, "I was scared. I know I was wrong but I didn't know how to say it. I care for her too, I am sorry-"
He continued as Ron hugged him back and they remained on the floor for some time.
What a resolution.
Harry whiled away the hours until dawn in front of the fire, getting up every now and then to stop Crookshanks from sneaking up the boys' staircase again. The cat would ruin all their plans. He couldn't afford Sirius to realize that the traitorous rat was not in Ron's dormitory but was locked in a shoebox in his trunk, which crookshanks would never be able to open. If Sirius thought that Peter was not at Hogwarts, he would leave and that would complicate things.
At long last Harry thought it must be time for breakfast, so he headed through the portrait hole alone. He revived a bit over a large bowl of porridge, and his thoughts went to Ron's outburst last night. Blimey, the guy had been a wreck, and he, his best mate, has not even noticed the reason for it. Ron had foreseen this idea and told Harry to "stuff his guilt high up his arse".
Harry laughed as he started on toast,and saw that the rest of the team had turned up.
"It's going to be a tough one," said Wood, who wasn't eating anything.
"Stop worrying, Oliver," said Alicia soothingly, "we don't mind a bit of rain."
But it was considerably more than a bit of rain. Such was the popularity of Quidditch that the whole school turned out to watch the match as usual, but they ran down the lawns toward the Quidditch field, heads bowed against the ferocious wind, umbrellas being whipped out of their hands as they went.
As the team exited the locker room and moved to the field, the weather worsened. The wind was so strong that they staggered sideways as they walked out onto the field. If the crowd was cheering, they couldn't hear it over the fresh rolls of thunder. Rain was splattering over Harry's glasses. Even with the impervious charm, catching the snitch would be nearly impossible.
The Captains walked up to each other and shook hands; Flint leered at Wood but Wood now looked as though he had eaten a pound of doxy eggs and merely nodded.
He pulled his right foot out of the mud with a squelch and swung it over his Nimbus Two Thousand as the rest of the players mounted their brooms. Malfoy looked very pale but he gave Harry a determined glare when their eyes met.
Madam Hooch put her whistle to her lips and gave it a blast that sounded shrill and distant — they were off.
And immediately Harry rolled a bit on his broom as Flint nearly knocked him off. Harry screamed ("YOU NUMPTY!") but the weather was too bad for anyone to see clearly.
Harry was a good flyer, and he knew it but the weather in which he was playing was conducive to fireside chats, not quidditch matches. He tried to remember how the Hogwarts snitches acted in general.
It was a trick he learned after Ginny had told him, when she had returned from her pre-season training match, how professional seekers approached a match. Of course, by that time, Harry had started in the Auror office and his time devoted to quidditch had been reduced to nil, much to Ron's chagrin.
Harry zoomed up and focused on the outer rim of the pitch, where such snitches were most likely to be. Generally, he looked for the snitch's shadow or reflections off its wings, but in this weather, both of those tactics were useless.
There was another clap of thunder, followed immediately by forked lightning. This was getting more and more dangerous. Harry needed to get the Snitch quickly but -There.
The tiny golden ball was rising rapidly and, for once, even Malfoy had seen it, who was moving in a trajectory which brought him besides Harry, who had begun his ascension to chase the snitch.
It disappeared again, but Harry was sure it wasn't descending. He looped around the area, keeping his eyes open to find the snitch and avoid the dementors.
He had his wand, and after discussing with Ron, had decided that he would use the patronus charm if those dark creatures got near him. He was startled when Draco started moving towards his right but it was just a feint.
Harry thought of looking into the stands but his numb hands slipped on the broom handle and his Nimbus dropped a few feet. Shaking his sodden bangs out of his eyes, he squinted back into the stands. He was now a good 100 feet up and rising, and he-felt the cold.
An eerie silence was falling across the stadium. The wind, though as strong as ever, was forgetting to roar. It was as though someone had turned off the sound, as though Harry had gone suddenly deaf.
He acted on instinct, both he and Malfoy flying away from the black figures. Malfoy rapidly descended and landed on the field, his blonde hair outlining his pale and trembling face, while Harry moved sideways, for he had seen the snitch.
And then a horribly familiar wave of cold swept over him, inside him, just as he became aware of something in his peripheral vision, something which called to him and repulsed him.
The snitch took a sharp turn and Harry jolted, and saw Hogwarts in its magnificence. Its picturesque view with its huge castle doors and the grounds and it was as if he was falling into a picture.
It was as though freezing water were rising in his chest, cutting at his insides. And then he heard it again. . . . Someone was screaming, screaming inside his head . .or was it outside?
"HARRY, COME ON."
It was Ron but his voice was not like his teenage squeak but deep and manly
Numbing, swirling white mist was filling Harry's brain. . . . What was he doing? Why was he flying?
He was flying and so was Ron, along with a couple more people covering their flanks, but they were shoddy riders, he and Ron overtaking them and moving towards their destination.
Hogwarts. His first home. As he flew, the view was like a perfect drawing, a thing of beauty, a castle all adorned in its glory.
He was falling, falling through the icy mist.
And as he crossed the wardline, he realized the wards had collapsed and so had the castle. The earlier view was that of a shell, whose inside had rotted. Even Riddle himself hadn't been able to do it, but somehow the castle had fallen. It had been annihilated.
They had received McGonnagal's alert half an hour ago that Hogwarts was being attacked. It wasn't as much of an attack, as it was a destructive rampage, people whose sole purpose was to destroy. They had hit a lot of locations and the headmistress had recognized their modus operandi.
Ron had advised her, or rather, ordered to evacuate everyone through the Room of Requirement. This generation had not seen war, only destruction. They were scared, not trained. It was a no-brainer that saving lives was much more viable and important.
He and Ron had been the first squadron on the ground to go. It was Hogwarts after all. But the duo had more pressing reasons. Teddy and Victoire were in hogwarts. Harry cursed himself, and then cursed Bill for good measure, for it was today of all days that they had sent the both of them to meet Hagrid and look around the castle.
It was surprising too, because after James…..Harry trained Teddy in defense and kept him close. He would be fine, wouldn't he? Surely, he would have...
He did not need the cat patronus to tell him, nor Ron's anguished cry, it was the rapidly changing bush of color that had told him everything.
He ran, Ron not far behind him. His mind had closed itself, the feel of the castle beneath him the only input, because the familiar mantra had been invoked.
"He could not lose another son."
He could not. It would be cruel and it would be mean. It would be wrong.
Fate flipped him a huge fuck you as he reached the huddled mass, and he realized that sometimes, some people just want the world to burn.
Teddy was on the floor, looking so like Remus, that his head hurt. He was alive and that was all that mattered and Harry lowered himself, kneeling, presumably to carry him, but stopped.
Teddy was moaning and crying, his hand across the chest of another person.
A girl.
"Victoire", Teddy moaned.
Harry felt the urge to laugh, because it was so infuriating, she was gone, she wasn't coming back. Dead. Teddy was fighting a losing battle.
And so was he.
He groaned and Teddy recognized him, crying more loudly. "Harry!"
"Teddy" His voice broke, because he noticed the spike through his stomach. Teddy was dying.
Harry wanted to laugh, because it was humorous, absolutely barmy that defeating Voldemort had netted less losses. This was madness.
Teddy, his brilliant Teddy, innocent and brave. He had failed him, him and remus and tonks.
He thought of apparating but Ron shook his head before him. Apparating would end the clock, hasten the ticking, bring the end.
Ron sniffed and grasped Victoire's hand. Her name had signified their victory.
Victory had died.
Harry looked at Teddy and hugged him, who grabbed him back, crying.
"I couldn't find her. When...the evacuation started, she was not there...I couldn't leave her"
He broke off and rasped, coughing up blood, and the knife in Harry's heart twisted. He didn't stop Teddy because Teddy wanted to explain, needed to. He needed this.
"They were...THEY KILLED HER, HARRY. I COULDN'T LEAVE HER ALONE. I FAILED"
It was straining him, yet he didn't stop. His grip on Harry tightened and Harry gazed into his eyes.
"I didn't want her to die...I don't want to die...Da-d. I couldn't save her"
" .No. It was no-t your fault, son. I'm sorry" Harry tried, he tried goddamn it, tried not to cry.
"Do you think they would be proud of me?" Teddy whispered.
"Very. You are the bravest man, I have ever met" Harry nodded as tears spilled out.
"I don't want to leave...you, Dad. I...love..you" Teddy shuddered and moaned and closed his eyes, while Harry buried himself into his hair, not letting him go.
He stayed there till the shuddering stopped.
He had lost once again. He wondered why he wanted to laugh.
He wanted to kill, to destroy…..
It broke through, The grief broke through the dam of anger and it hurt.
It collided painfully, the hurt and the realization that Teddy Lupin was dead, that Victoire Weasley had died, that he had failed them all, lost them all.
It hurt.
A/N howsit? rEVIEW pleASE!
Thank you MMax and ihatesandhmm for your reviews.
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Some lines are taken from Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban.
