She was putting her tank top on when she heard the steps on the stairs. She waited for the telltale jingle of keys and paused for a second. Reassured that it was Alec she resumed putting on her clothes. She proceeded to put the urn in a backpack and went to sit on the bed and put her boots on.
As usual, he didn't knock. Passing the living room and the kitchen, he went into her room: he was a man on a mission.
"Is it true? Dix said you paid him a visit last night?" He asked without preamble.
"Yeah." She was more calmed and determined than he thought she would be.
"He said you were searching for background information on a certain special Agent Ames White."
"I needed his phone number, so?"
She still hadn't looked up at him and was taking her time tying her boots.
"So? So! Look at me!" Alec barked. She immediately straightened her back and looked at the transgenic in front of her.
"Why do you want to hurt yourself?" For the first time since she came back from Paris she really looked at him. And she saw the pain and the tiredness in his eyes. The compassion in his eyes almost got to her. But she knew he couldn't understand even if she explained what had happened. Only he would because he had lived the same thing.
'Why didn't fell I in love with Alec?' she wondered. 'Everything would have been so much easier.' She buried the question in the depth of her mind and answered him. "He can understand. Don't worry, he won't hurt me."
"What can he understand that I can't? or that Cindy couldn't…I don't know…share with you?" Alec started to pace "And how do you know he won't hurt you? For all we know, it could be a trap! You told me yourself, as soon as you lost the child you lost the runes!" He stopped in front of her again, staring her down, hoping that she wouldn't go through with her plans.
He spoke the truth. But she needed to believe that for one night, they could be more than enemies. They had been that during the time they spent together.
"I just hope you know." She uttered as an explanation.
"No I don't know Max! Tell me what are you hoping for? To be killed? Is that what you want?" His voice rose again.
"No. I want to live! I want…" she stopped. "I wanted that child Alec, and I hope that one day I could be a mother." She reached out to him. "But for now, I really need to do this. So let me go. I'll be fine."
He stepped away from her and she knew he wouldn't try to follow her. At least, if he did, it will be at a distance.
She paused at the door.
"Trust me. I'll be back in the morning. I haven't been wrong about him yet, have I?" She was trying to reassure him though she knew it wouldn't work. Alec couldn't understand because he wasn't there. Because he didn't knew Ames the way she did. 'The way she did' do you really think you know him, her inner voice said.
"There's a first time for everything. You could be wrong this time." He said matter of factly.
She shrugged.
"I already have an escape plan." She grabbed the back pack and added. "Nothing's going to go wrong. See you in the morning."
On the other side of town, White was wondering if he was going to go or not. He was also struggling with what he was going to do with his knowledge of 452, Max's whereabouts. If he gave her location to the council he would be back on their good graces: his disappearing act didn't go well with his handlers. He had told them that he had decided to use his time out to check on leads about Ray. That had been his plan he was forced to take a leave of absence. If he delivered Max to them, or to the bureau for that matter, he would be back on his colleagues' and his fellow familiars' good sides. On the other hand, if he was honest with himself, he was curious about her, about her well being. He was curious to know if outside their forced time together, they could be something other than enemies. He was curious about her, about them. One thing was sure: he was going to do something about that knowledge.
Max had arrived early on the needle to prepare her surprise. And now, it had been two hours that she was perched on the needle waiting for Ames. She actually knew he was behind her. She'd felt his presence as soon as he got out of the staircase. He had arrived for ten minutes now, but he didn't want to come forward. She didn't push him or indicate that she knew he was there, looking at her. Just like her he needed to be ready and she understood that.
Finally he stepped out in the light, his mouth open to say something but she beat him to that.
"I was starting to think that you would stay there the entire night." There was a smile in her voice and he remembered their time together.
It didn't surprise him that she knew he was there.
"I wasn't ready."
He had observed her since he arrived on top of the needle. Her hair like a black flag that the wind was playing with. Tonight, she had a long black leather coat that he never saw her with. Not that he noticed such things during the different encounters they had these last months, and their little sojourn in France, he told himself. Everything in her was mystery, even for herself, he knew, but somehow, there was a light in her. It was quite a contradiction, and he knew it, but it was how he saw her, a mixture of light and darkness. And a power that should be reckoned.
"I know." Max nodded.
It was her turn to look at him. Forgotten the laid back outfit he'd sported during their little time in France, he was back in his dark suit and tie attire of the perfect secret agent, down to his usual grey coat. He looked tired she noticed. It reassured her. Just as his presence did now. It meant she wasn't alone in this. He was with her.
"So how do we do this?" he asked.
"Never went to a funeral?"
"Actually no. We are familiars and we don't die easily. Plus we have a burial ceremony, and only the elders are allowed to be present." Ames explained.
"And you're still young, or untrustworthy," she commented. "It's not a reproach," she quickly added as she watched his brows furrow. "At least, we're both new at this."
She knew he was uncomfortable when she could guess his thoughts or the situation he was in with the Conclave. She knew because he had the same effect on her.
"So, you're going to open the urn and spread his ashes?" he asked.
She turned again to look at him surprise in her eyes.
"What?"
"No…Nothing just…you said his." As that was enough for an explanation.
"Yeah, so?"
"I thought he was a boy too," the sentence barely a whisper as she was back to staring into space.
Ames coughed.
"We do this or what?" he said. Just any man, he was uncomfortable with any displays of emotions.
"Yeah." Max whispered to the wind.
Solemnly, she opened the urn and murmured into the wind for no one in particular, "To the ones we loved."
"To the ones we lost." Ames added in the same voice.
Quickly a breeze spread the little ashes that fell from the urn. She felt like it should have been longer. A lone tear fell on Max's cheek and this time he didn't turn his head away to ignore it. He looked at her. Really looked at her, and knew in his gut that he wanted her. He toyed with the thought, this way and that and surprised himself by liking that knowledge. Wanting her didn't conflict him as it should as it used to be in the beginning of their encounter four months ago. All that remained, as he screened his feelings was the fact he just wanted her.
"I meant it when I said I was sorry. I know it's not enough, but…" he tried.
"I know," she replied understanding. "Does it ever stop to hurt?" She still didn't turn to look at him. For both of them, crying was a weakness. But she felt that it was alright for him to see her weakness and her tears.
"I don't know. It's the first time that it hurts so much." Ames said sincerely.
Somehow, that brought relief to her. That the baby, her baby was important to him. That with her, it was different, he was different.
She smiled a sad smile.
"How have you been?" He knew how out of place that was since they still were on opposite sides. But he felt the urge to know that she was fine. Though everything tonight told him that she would be. He needed her to tell him that she was going to be okay.
"I'm…I'll be fine. Soon," she answered. "And you? Back to the transgenic hunt?"
"Actually, I'm a bit left out of it." There was amusement in his voice.
"How so?" she said her eye brows rising.
"Well, I think my boss doesn't trust me anymore. Not that he ever had. It's just that because of you and 494 I was a bit over zealous for a 'mere human'. So he's a bit suspicious. It's more than that but it's complicated. You don't need to know." He shrugged as if it wasn't important to him anymore. A man like Ames always had a strong drive. The transgenic hunt was his drive for the past year, yet now, she saw in him that he had a different kind of drive now. Something else motivated him.
She was about to correct him and tell him to not call Alec by his designation as she pondered his new drive, but she knew he couldn't trust him with that kind of information. Curious that she never bothered to hide her name during the whole trip or during their previous encounters. It was too late to worry about that now.
"And the Conclave?" she asked. "Did they punish you?"
He nodded. Again the detachment was there in his stance.
"Been there, done that. They think everything's my fault. And they are curious about what happened to me during the last months. So now I have to gain both their trusts back." Again, she felt the same disengagement in his sentence.
She nodded in understanding. She quieted the part of her that wanted to ask him what was driving him now? She had enough on her plate and discovering that she had feelings for White wasn't easy. Even if she told him…She pondered it for a few second before deciding that she couldn't tell him. She worried that he was stretching himself too thin, with the bureau and the Conclave but didn't say anything. She shouldn't care because on top of everything else, she was mourning for a familiar's child! She wasn't supposed to feel many things she felt these days.
"You've done anything interesting when we came back from you know…" she asked trying to prolong the moment they shared.
"Yeah, I found Lauren. She's Wendy's sister." He'd bet his life that she knew who Lauren was.
"Oh." Guilt enveloped her. 'Well it was only a matter of time', she thought.
"My son's alive," he said with conviction.
"You found him?" She knew that he didn't, but she needed to know if he had any lead.
"No. But I will." His eyes were full of determination. No one was going to stand in his way.
"Yeah." She said lowering her gaze. "I guess you will."
Her tone made him look at her again. She had an odd smile on her face as if she was planning something. He had to make his move soon before it was too late. He'd decided before coming that he was going to bring her to the bureau.
"And what will you do to gain their trust?" she asked suddenly wanting to change the subject.
"Well. I thought you'd have understood by now," he smirked.
"Oh I do. But I'm not easy to catch. What will you do when you'll leave here? Without me," she specified. "Coz' you don't really think that I'll let you take me in this easily, right?" she said mockingly.
"And what will you do about it if I want to take you in?" he replied on the same tone.
Turning so that she faced him completely, she smirked. The one that told him she had something up her sleeve.
"This," she simply said. And jumped backwards from the top of the needle.
The first thought that came to his mind that she couldn't be really committing suicide in front of him. But a second later he heard her laughter. And bending over the ledge he saw her rappelling down. She had all her equipment ready around her hips that was why she was wearing a long coat. Despite himself, he smiled at her. In a few seconds, she was on her bike, revving it on.
"I told you!" she shouted. "'Till next time agent White!"
The thought of pulling his gun never even occurred to him. He just had to find some other way.
That moment on the needle was a deliverance for her soul. And for him also she thought. It left her full of energy. All the pent up emotions that she had closed off for weeks were fighting to get out all at once. She was full to bursting with life, she needed to do something else. For hours she raced through the city, happy to be alive. When she finally had enough, she stopped for a coffee before roaring her baby to life again and heading to the only place she knew she'd found a shoulder to lean on: OC.
It wasn't like her to knock, but she found herself doing so though technically the apartment was still hers too.
"Who the hell is interrupting Original's …" The African American woman stopped her ranting at the sight of the familiar brunette in front of her. "Boo." A mere whisper of disbelief. At that moment, she knew that Alec hadn't betrayed her, that he hadn't told a soul she was back. She sent him a silent thank you and looked at Original Cindy apologetically.
In a second she was engulfed in the other woman's arms.
God she had missed OC these last days. She had missed the hugs that she gave so freely. But she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone what had happened to her.
"I thought you were dead!" OC's voice was muffled by the transgenic hair. "You're stupid hot boy didn't say a word about you. Always avoiding me!"
Max smiled. She knew how Cindy could be as stubborn as an X5 sometimes. And if she wanted something, she often got it. Original Cindy called it the power of visualization.
"I'm fine." Max replied. And she knew she would be. After tonight, everything would be fine.
She found herself telling OC the whole story, sitting on the couch together, coffee at hand. They smiled, laughed, cried. Cindy might not be a transgenic, but she was a woman, and more importantly, she was her sister. She was also the only person she would tell of her feelings for White. She needed someone else view on the situation, someone who wouldn't judge or tell her she was crazy. That person couldn't be Alec. Their discussion allowed her also to understand that Logan wasn't on her radar anymore. What she felt for him…if she ever felt anything for him was gone.
When she left the old dilapidated building she had called home months ago, she felt free. More free than ever for having shared her burden. She knew that OC could understand, or listen without judging her; she also knew that Original Cindy would take her secret to the grave if need be. This particular fact, she couldn't unload on Alec, she couldn't unload on any transgenic.
Weeks went by and they both carried on with their own life separately. Ames was back beating the pavement on the transgenic hunt, and Max had finally started to fit in in Terminal City. Neither knew that the arrival of two persons in TC was about to change everything yet again.
After that night on the needle and at OC's, Max was…better. She had opened herself to the other transgenics and was well accepted by them. She was teaching the youngest crews all she'd learned and she was one of the most productive burglar they had on the clock. Life went on, and she had resumed her job at Jam Pony and hanged at Crash regularly again with Alec, Cindy and Sketchy. She thought that she got her wish afterall.
"Yo Max!" called a dark haired transgenic named Jon.
Max turned around as she was about to leave the central command. She smiled at him. Jon was one of the X5s that she really got along with. Like her, he had shark DNA and she surprised herself by sharing some of her high places in TC with him. She guessed that he reminded her of Jondy.
"Hey!" She smiled.
"Mole says you should go the gates."
"Why?" she said visibly puzzled by the request.
"Said something about two norms, well, a norm with a kid…"
Before he could add anything, she ran out of the building toward the gates.
"…they're asking for you." He finished. "Okay, now I'm curious." But he couldn't go down there, so he walked toward Dix's station, from there he could see what all the fuss was about.
When she arrived at the gates, the sentries were aiming their guns at the two norms. Well, one of them was a norm, a lost friend. The other one was someone really special.
She slowed her pace at the sight of the old man. He had aged, and his hair was no longer black but grey. Yet, she still felt his power, his endurance and his patience. This man was first steadfast man she encountered in her life. She remembered herself just before she met Louis: how confused and lost she was. Even if he was a thief and a con man, he had taken care of her in his own way. It seemed that her past was getting to her these days.
"Richard," she acknowledged. She gestured to Mole to let them in.
"Max. You grew up." His voice was the same deep baritone one, a soothing music to her ear. She remembered falling asleep while he talked. First time she let her guard down enough and sleep, even if it was just for a few minutes. She had felt cared for with him.
"You're old," she stated. It was a stupid thing to say but, she felt the need to say it. He was always so full of life; it was hard to see him this way.
"Prison would do that to you." There was no reproach in his voice but she still felt guilty. She lowered her gaze. He reached for her and pulled her to him.
"I'm sorry I couldn't reach you that night," she murmured. She had tried and failed, and her training told her to escape. She was just a child at that time and even now, years later, she had a hard time accepting that some of the things she did were drilled into her during her training.
He nodded.
"I think I understand you now. Don't beat yourself over the past kid, you were still very young." He went on and added "When I met you, you were confused. But now…I think you found your place."
She raised her gaze to look him in the eye and once again she found the warmth there always was in them before. They locked gaze for a long time.
Finally she turned to the little boy at the old man's side. She kneeled to be on his level.
"Hey Ray. Remember me?"
The little boy nodded meekly.
"You're the one from the ceremony. You took me to aunt Lauren."
"That's right. You're going to stay with me for while, ok?"
The little boy smiled a bit, she was relieved that he was taking it well. It must not have been easy for him the past months.
"Richard is not very funny," he added. The little boy was a bit sullen.
It was Max's turn to smile. She saw his father in the young boy's sullenness. Max looked at his features and recognized his father in him. She wondered if her baby would have looked just like Ray. She wondered if she had taken the right decision about him. From this point, there was no turning back.
"Well I hope staying with me will be more fun than staying with Richard." Max said with humor.
Then, Ray did something that she thought he wouldn't do. He launched himself in her arms and hugged her. She was expecting sullenness, unhappiness, some kind of resistance from him but not this. She looked inquiringly at Richard.
"I told him a few stories about you." The old man explained. "Seems like you won't have any problem getting along." Richard commented.
Richard had never been a man who liked goodbyes. Before she could add anything, he turned his back on Terminal City and disappeared into the night.
"Thank you Richard." She shouted.
"Your debt is paid in full Maxine! Don't worry about old men like me. Just live your life."
"Uh, Max?"
She hadn't heard Alec arriving as she looked around a lots of transgenics were looking at her, Ray and Richard.
"Who was that?" continued her friend.
"A friend. Just a friend."
Mole ordered the gates to be closed and returned to his post. Ray still hadn't let go of her.
"You're going to find my dad Max?" whispered Ray as he put his hands in her.
"Yes. I promise you'll see your dad soon." Max answered.
"Richard said that you always keep your promises." The young boy said very seriously. "So I'm gonna hold you to your promise Max."
Max smiled.
"I know you will. I know you will." she repeated.
