AN: Finally, we're in season 2 a.k.a the best season of Chicago P.D.
Warning: this chapter is rated M so proceed at your own caution.
Who the hell was Sylvie Brett?
That was the question that had been occupying Erin's head ever since she had first heard the name.
It seemed like Jay and Sylvie Brett hit it off really well too.
That had been all Kim had said about the topic when they had a little chat in the locker room earlier. Just that one sentence, not further explanation on just who the hell this Sylvie Brett that Jay supposedly hit it off with was. Apparently, the group of them had been out at Molly's last night— a night out that Jay hadn't invited Erin to. Probably because he was on a date.
She huffed to no one in particular, not liking the feeling of something heavy resting on her chest at that thought. She was being unfair, she knew. Jay was single and he was free to date whoever he wanted. Even this mysterious Sylvie Brett that he supposedly hit it off with.
Erin didn't know her and yet she already knew she didn't like this Sylvie.
"Yo, Lindsay. You don't have the coffee started yet? You're slipping, girl" Adam yelled out teasingly as he and Jay came into the break room. A typical Ruzek joke that came out at the wrong time to the wrong person in the wrong headspace.
"I'm not your maid, Ruzek. Do it your damn self!" Erin snapped with more bite than the situation called for. Adam quickly realized that Erin was in a mood and it was better for him to not touch that landmine at all. Jay, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes as he looked at her. Almost studying her to see what was wrong. Erin just schooled her face and just ignored Jay's probing eyes. She wasn't in the mood to see his dumb smiling face because he was happy that he and Sylvie hit it off.
Erin groaned inwardly as she plopped on the small leather couch that was in the break room. She was driving herself crazy about what Kim had told her. Kim probably didn't even give what she said a second thought. Kim had just been casually telling her about her night. She had no idea just how much she affected Erin with just one sentence.
Adam was working on the coffee and Jay was standing next to him at the counter, leaving Erin plenty of space and time to stew in her own thoughts. She was free to let the thoughts in her head drive her mad. Was Jay dating? He told her that he had stopped seeing Allie and they had just decided to be friends. So did that mean he was looking for a girlfriend? Did he like Sylvie? Kim thought he and Sylvie hit it off but did Jay think that?
"Here." Her thoughts were interrupted by Jay holding her favorite mug in her face and Erin saw the steam coming out from it. "Two sugar."
"Thanks," Erin mumbled as she took the mug from him, her eyes still far off as she remained caught in her own head. Did Jay make Sylvie coffee this morning after they spent the night together? See, driving herself crazy.
Adam grabbed himself a cup and left the room, leaving the two of them alone. Erin tried not to sound annoyed when Jay took the seat next to her.
"Okay, spill."
"What are you talking about?" Erin returned, playing dumb.
"You look like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. What's going on?" Jay sounded concerned and for a brief second, Erin thought about opening up to him. That was until images of him and this woman that he was with last night took over her mind again and she shifted further away from him.
"Nothing. I'm fine." It wasn't as though she could actually tell him what was going on. Oh nothing except I'm driving myself insane with jealousy at the thought of you with another woman. Yeah, she really couldn't tell him that.
"So you just snapped at Ruzek for fun then?"
She shrugged. "It's Ruzek. He knows I didn't mean it." Jay just let out a chortle at that. Erin glanced at him out of the side of her eyes, studying him before she stopped herself. It wasn't like she could tell if he spent the night with Sylvie just from looking at him. Further investigation was needed. "So how was your night last night?" She tried to keep her voice casual.
"Pretty good," he replied as he took a sip of his coffee. Erin cussed silently into her cup at his answer. "We just went out to Molly's. The guys wanted to go out and just loosen up after what happened to Jin."
Erin nodded. Jin being murdered had definitely left an impact on the team, mostly because they still didn't know who was responsible for it. And for some reason, Voight wouldn't let them investigate, ordering them to leave it to another department.
"So it was just the guys?" This time, her question didn't come off so casually.
Jay looked at her strangely. "No, Burgess was there. So were a couple of people from Firehouse 51."
"Oh." So Sylvie was a part of FIrehouse 51 then. Erin recalled Kelly mentioning that they finally found someone after Shay's death. Apparently, that was this Sylvie Brett. "Anyone I know?"
He gave her that strange look again. "You know everyone from Firehouse 51. Your boyfriend works there."
Erin shifted in her seat again at the topic of Kelly coming up. She still hadn't told Jay about her breakup with Kelly nearly a week ago or the reason why the relationship ended. Erin had tried too many times but everytime, one thing or another came up.
"About that," Erin started, trying again.
"Don't worry. Severide wasn't there," Jay interrupted her as though he knew what Erin was about to say. "I thought he was with you, actually. That's why I didn't ask you to come out last night."
At least one part of the question was answered. Erin had thought Jay didn't invite her last night because he was on a date. But that wasn't the case.
"No, I wasn't with Kelly last night. I haven't…"
Once again, like clockwork, whenever she was about to divulge her news to Jay about the end of her relationship with Severide, they got interrupted again.
"Hey, we got a new case," Atwater said as he stood by the doorway. Jay got up, Erin reluctantly following. She would have to try again.
The case turned out to be a kidnapped woman who was found badly beaten in an alley. Her boyfriend who was a drug dealer had crossed a rival and they had decided to take revenge on him by hurting his girlfriend instead.
She and Jay had followed the woman to the hospital to get her statement so they could wrap the case up. Erin had stayed with the victim for support while she got the rape kit done and Jay was waiting outside. After promising the victim that they had the person who was responsible in custody and that she was going to be okay, Erin left the room in search of Jay.
She came to still when she spotted her partner in a conversation with a pretty blonde. Erin had been too caught up in the case earlier that she hadn't really noticed the medics on the scene. She remembered seeing Dawson and someone else but it was only now Erin was realizing that this blonde was Dawson's new partner. The mysterious Sylvie Brett.
Taking advantage of the fact that they hadn't spotted her, Erin remained where she stood and watched their interaction. They seemed friendly enough, caught up in their conversation. Jay had his back to Erin but she could tell that he was smiling anyway as he listened to Sylvie. Erin's eyes narrowed when she saw Sylvie touch Jay's wrist, laughing. It was probably about something stupid, Erin was sure. Shoving down the bitterness, Erin decided to make her appearance.
"Hey." She adopted a smile on her face, completely fake.
"Oh hey. You're done?" Jay asked as Erin came to stand by the two of them. Erin just gave him a small nod, her eyes traveling to Sylvie. "Oh Lindsay, this is Brett," Jay introduced them.
Sylvie smiled as she shook Erin's hand. "Sylvie, actually."
Erin's smile became a bit more genuine at Jay introducing Sylvie by her last name instead of first. Surely, if they were dating, he'd introduced her as Sylvie, wouldn't he?
"Erin," she returned the gesture. As she got the closer look at the woman, she could see just how pretty Sylvie was. She hated to admit it but her and Jay would make an attractive couple. Then again, Jay's attractiveness alone would make him a good looking couple with a troll.
"Brett was just telling me about this concert in the park that's supposedly really good," Jay filled Erin in.
"Isn't it too cold for concerts in a park?" Erin asked, chiding herself inwardly because of how bitchy her question came off. "I mean…"
Sylvie, to her credit, just giggled. Jay chuckled as he clued Sylvie in on just how much Erin hated the cold. "You should see just how high we had to turn on the heater in our car," Jay continued.
"Oh I'm totally the same but I'd brave the cold to listen to a good Rolling Stones cover band. We should go sometimes," Sylvie said, her eyes on Jay. Erin's smile slipped and her body shifted closer to Jay unconsciously.
"Yeah, sounds good," Jay returned and Erin stopped herself from looking at Jay. "We should all go together when we have a day off," he finished, nudging at Erin. Erin bit back a smile when she saw Sylvie's face fall slightly at what Jay said. Erin didn't know if Jay was that clueless as to when a woman was hitting on him or if he was being deliberately obtuse at Sylvie asking him on a date. Either way, Erin wasn't complaining.
"Yeah, that sounds good. We should go," Erin replied, beaming at him. Jay seemed a bit flustered when he saw her smile and Erin saw the tip of his ears turned red. God, he was adorable.
"Yeah. Anyway, I got to get back to more calls," Sylvie said. "It's really nice to meet you, Erin."
"You too." Erin watched as the other woman walked away. Despite wanting to, she couldn't find anything to dislike about Sylvie. She was perfectly pleasant. "She's nice."
"Yeah," Jay agreed. "She's new in the town and she's on a new squad so she's just trying to make friends."
"Oh." Erin just muttered. "Maybe get herself a new boyfriend too?"
Jay frowned. "Maybe," he just replied off-handedly until he saw Erin's pointed look. "What? Me?" He pointed to himself, incredulously. "No. We're just friends."
"Uh-huh." Erin just hummed. She decided to let the subject drop, not wanting to talk about Sylvie anymore. If Jay said they were just friends, then they were just friends. "Ready for lunch? I'm buying."
Jay looked at her. "You're being awfully generous today."
Erin just shrugged. "What can I say? I'm in a good mood." Jay just arched his eyebrow at her, given her being grumpy earlier. "Okay, now I'm in a good mood. So do you want lunch or what?"
Jay laughed and he dropped his head lower to catch her eyes. "If you're buying then how can I refuse?"
Whatever good atmosphere they had during lunch was quickly killed when he and Erin returned to the bullpen. Voight looked like he was on a rampage, chewing everyone's ass off that dared say the wrong thing.
"What's going on?" Jay asked Kevin quietly. Voight was by his office, glaring as though the world had offended him or something.
Kevin just shrugged. "He just got a call from Ivory Tower earlier and he's been like that ever since."
Jay just shook his head as he went to his desk. Everyone else was quiet, keeping their head down. But Jay was determined not to. Just because Voight was in his usual state of murderous rage, it didn't mean that everyone had to walk on eggshells around him. Jay certainly wouldn't. For all Voight went on and on about professionalism, he sure as hell brought a lot of his personal drama into the job. But Voight being a hypocrite was nothing new.
"We got the statement from the victim earlier," Jay said to Voight, the older man turning around to face him, his hands in his pockets.
"Did I ask you if you got the victim's statement?" Voight growled.
Jay stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "Just thought you should know where we are at with the case."
"If I want to know about the damn case, I would ask."
Jay just shrugged and sat down, ignoring Voight's statement. If Voight wanted to fester in whatever the hell was bothering him, Jay couldn't care less. He caught Erin's eyes from across the room and he rolled his eyes at her, gesturing to Voight. A half smile made its way on her face as she leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed.
The tension in the bullpen increased when Nadia got another phone call and announced to Voight that it was the Ivory Tower, yet again. Voight ordered Nadia to lie and say he wasn't there, the younger girl doing as she was told.
"They said they really need to talk to you, Sergeant. They want you to call them back as soon as you get in," Nadia relayed the message.
"Maybe they finally have answers about Jin's case," Jay spoke off-handedly. Apparently that was the wrong topic to bring up because Voight loomed over his desk, smoke coming out of his ears.
"And just what the hell do you know about Jin's case?" Voight asked, his voice low and gruff.
"Nothing. That's the whole problem," Jay answered, not intimidated by Voight. "And maybe that's why you should be listening to what Ivory Tower had to say."
Voight's face turned even redder and he turned his body around to look at the group in a dramatic show before turning back to Jay. "Since when the fuck did you become the boss here?"
Jay sat up straighter in his seat to show Voight that he wasn't going to shrink under his furious glare. "You're the boss here. That's why we're sitting here, twiddling our thumbs instead of out there looking for Jin's killer."
"How many times do I have to tell you that we're being taken off the case because Jin was one of our own?"
"Exactly," Jay retorted. "Jin was one of our own. We should be the ones finding out who killed him."
Voight gritted his jaw. "You have a comprehension problem, Halstead? Is that why you're not understanding that we're too close to the case and Ivory Tower doesn't want us handling it?"
"I'm just saying…"
Voight's hands slammed on Jay's desk in a loud boom, taking everyone off guard except for Jay who didn't even flinch.
"Nothing!" Voight shouted. "You don't say anything! You follow my orders. If you don't like that then you can get out of my unit."
"Voight," Erin's voice cut in, trying to cut some of the tension. But Voight and Jay's eyes were set on each other, neither of them looking away. They were locked in a showdown, past issues other than the current topic at hand coming into the fray. "Voight!" Erin called again, this time more loudly.
Voight finally broke the stare and directed his fury to Erin. "What?"
"Jay has a point." Jay's eyes landed on Erin in shock.
Voight, on the other hand, didn't look pleased by what she said and he stalked over to her desk. "What did you say?" His voice was dangerously low.
Erin kept his gaze as she repeated, "Jay has a point." Jay stayed still, unable to really react at the moment. He had always wondered to himself if there would ever come a point in their partnership where Erin would choose his side over Voight's. If there would ever be a point where Erin wouldn't take every word from Voight as gospel. Apparently, that day was today.
Jay could see just how tense Voight's body was as he stood over Erin, glaring at her. But Erin stood her ground and she stood up, facing Voight at eye-level.
"Jin was one of us. You know that we should be the one looking into his murder," Erin continued her defense of Jay. "I know that if I was in Jin's place, I'd want us to take over the case. Not those guys over at Ivory Tower."
Voight worked his jaw again before he turned to the rest of the bullpen who were watching the showdown in rapt. "This is the last time I'm going to say this. Ivory Tower is looking into Jin's murder. Not us. Either drop it or everyone can get the fuck out and I'll replace your asses like that," he snapped his finger to make his point. Without waiting for any response, Voight stormed back into his office and slammed the door shut.
Jay cornered Erin in the locker room after they were done with the day, finally getting a chance to talk to her alone. After Voight's little hissy fit in the bullpen earlier, everyone just resumed wrapping up the case in almost complete silence. They were there to do their job, not to ruffle any feathers. But the case was wrapped up and the day was done.
"So thank you," Jay started, leaning against the lockers as Erin was busy grabbing her coat from her locker.
"What for?" Erin asked, her voice muffled coming inside the locker.
Jay just gave her a knowing look as her head popped back up and she began putting on her coat. "For saying what you said to Voight back there. You had my back there."
Erin pulled her hair out from underneath her jacket and turned to look at him. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true," she said with a hint of a smile on her face. "Jin deserved to have the people that cared about him finding his killer. I just don't know why Voight even gave into the Ivory Tower about this."
Jay just kept his thoughts to himself. He could think of many reasons why Voight didn't fight for Intelligence to take Jin's case. Starting with Voight not giving a damn about one of his team getting murdered to maybe Voight even having something to do with it. But relaying those thoughts to Erin wouldn't do any good. She stood up for him earlier but Jay didn't think she was ready to go as far as changing her opinions on Voight to that degree. Fickleness wasn't a trait he associated Erin with. It was good enough that she had stood up for him earlier. It was good enough to know where he stood in Erin's life and he was someone she cared about.
"So any plans for tonight?" Jay asked, changing the subject.
She shook her head. "You?"
"Maybe Molly's again," he said with a shrug. His intrigue peaked when a strange look came over Erin's face but it only lasted seconds before it disappeared. She closed her locker and wrapped her bag strap over her shoulders.
"Have fun then." Before he could even respond, Erin was out the door.
Strange.
Erin hugged her red leather jacket closer to herself as she entered Molly's. The bar wasn't too crowded tonight but it had enough buzz for Erin to blend in temporarily. She didn't want Jay to see her coming yet. Not before she gathered her courage.
She had no idea what took over her today in the bullpen other than she was tired of Voight and Jay going at it. She was tired of feeling like she was constantly put in the middle of their measuring contest. But most importantly, she was tired of Voight dressing down Jay whenever he felt like it.
Jay had been right earlier. Voight was never the one to let anyone walk over him when it came to cases and he sure as hell wasn't the type to just roll over and listen to what Ivory Tower said when a team member was murdered. The whole situation involving Al's old partner getting murdered and the justice Voight and Al took into their own hands came to mind. They didn't just stand by and let Browning get away with it. So while she understood that Jin didn't have the same relationship with Voight that Al and his old partner did, he was still a part of the team. That made him a part of the family. And just doing nothing when a family was killed wasn't their M.O.
Of course, Voight didn't take Erin's defense of Jay well. She saw the accusations swirling in his angry eyes, Voight trying to read her to see what was the main reason she was agreeing with Jay. She and Voight still hadn't talked for the rest of the day and she just let it be, knowing that it'd be a couple more days before they could talk since it was her day off tomorrow. Erin was done trying to appease him, backing down whenever they had a fight because she was grateful for what he had done for her 15 years ago. She would always be grateful but it was time for her to live her own life. On her own terms.
Hence, her reason for coming to Molly's tonight.
Erin was tired of hiding her feelings for Jay. Tired of acting like they were just partners. Just friends. The whole ordeal with Charlie and how Jay stood by her throughout had just opened her eyes to what she had already known. Jay was one of a kind and she'd be the biggest fool in the world if she had just let him slip away.
Breaking up with Kelly had been relatively easy. Both of them knew that they didn't have a future together despite their fond feelings for each other. They were there for each other when they needed someone but the relationship had run its course. Kelly had to work on himself and deal with Shay's death and Erin? Well, it was time she faced the truth. She wanted to be with Jay. No more no strings attached, only sex, friends with benefit deal. She wanted the whole thing.
And she just hoped Jay still wanted it too.
She spotted him over in the back at one of the tables, sitting with Ruzek, Burgess and of course, Brett. If she didn't know better, it looked like they were on a cozy double date. But Jay's denial of wanting anymore than friendship with Sylvie earlier had dispeled that thought from Erin's head and she surged towards them.
"You guys look like you're having fun," Erin said as she sidled up to them, her hands in her red leather jacket's pockets.
"Lindsay!" Ruzek greeted her happily and Erin just smiled. Despite Erin snapping at him earlier today, Ruzek wasn't the type to hold grudges and a rush of affection came over her for who she deemed as her annoying little brother. She reminded herself to buy Ruzek a cup of coffee later.
"Join us!" Kim offered and Jay stood up and grabbed a stool from the next table for her.
"Thanks," Erin beamed at him as she sat down next to him, their bodies close enough that their thighs touched. She ordered herself a beer and joined in on the conversation, waiting for the opening she was looking for. But Adam was going on and on about some movie he saw last weekend while he and Burgess were failing to pretend as though they weren't dating. But Kim had slipped up a couple of times, making comments about the movie that made it obvious that she and Adam were at the movies together. But who was Erin to judge? It wasn't as though her relationship with her partner was entirely platonic either.
She circled her finger on the rim of her cup, only half listening to Adam when Sylvie's voice chimed in.
"So Erin, you're the one that's dating Kelly right? You're the badass detective girlfriend he's always bragging about?"
Erin looked up from her cup and snuck a look at Jay. He had his head down, paying far more attention to the table than necessary, at the mention of Kelly. Erin held back a smile, finally the opportunity she had been looking for appeared.
"We were dating but we broke up last week. We've decided to be just friends now," Erin replied casually. She could see Jay's head bolt up and she could feel his eyes on her, the intensity of his stare boring a hole on the side of her head. He obviously wasn't expecting her to say that and she had to bite down on her lips to keep herself from smirking.
"Oh I'm sorry, Erin," Kim offered her sympathy. Erin just shrugged it off with a smile.
"It's fine," she returned. "We're better off as friends."
The conversation shifted to other topics after an awkward silence but the entire time, Jay's eyes remained on her. Erin knew Jay had so many questions about her breakup with Severide but couldn't ask since they were surrounded by other people. Erin decided to take mercy on him and finished up her beer to call it a night.
"I'll see you guys later, okay?" she said, dropping her share of the bill on the table and with one meaningful glance at Jay, she started to walk out of Molly's.
Erin didn't get too far away from Molly's before she heard Jay calling her name and she smiled to herself before turning around with a neutral expression on her face. Jay ran up to her, the half-hurried way he had on his jacket showing that he rushed after her.
"What, Jay?" she asked nonchalantly, tucking her hands into her pants pocket to keep warm.
Jay narrowed his eyes. "You didn't tell me that you and Kelly broke up."
"Was I supposed to?" she shrugged. "I thought you'd be too busy hanging out with your new friend to care." She chided herself because what she meant to come across as playful, she couldn't stop herself from allowing some of the jealousy slip in.
Jay looked confused for a second before realization flashed across his face and he huffed. "You're jealous of Sylvie?" he asked in disbelief, nudging his head in the direction of Molly's.
"I am not jealous," Erin protested, shaking her head as though the thought was ridiculous.
Jay took a step closer to her. "You are," he argued, bending his head down to look at her. "Your face gets red when you do and your lips jut out the same way it's doing right now."
Erin schooled her features. "What? You know me that well to know what I'm feeling by just looking at me? You really think you know me that well?"
"Yes. You know why?" Jay asked, not giving Erin a chance to answer before he started answering his own question. "Because I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you for months! I haven't been able to stop thinking about you from the moment we met!" Jay's eyes grew wider, like he hadn't meant for those words to come out. But it was too late. The confession had found its way out into the world and now it was lingering in the air, neither of them able to pretend otherwise.
Erin's breath hitched, not expecting to hear that from Jay. She was expecting Jay to play along and banter back. But hearing those words from Jay— hearing him be so honest and vulnerable— it knocked the breath out of her. She couldn't form any words in response and Jay didn't say more. Instead, the two of them just remained fixated on each other, a charged look pulsating between them. She could almost taste the electricity that was buzzing between them, something pulling her to him and Jay stepped closer into her space. His gaze stayed on her, a mesmerizing mix of vulnerability and hope mixing in the blues of his eyes.
Erin almost shuddered when his hand came up to her face and brushed so lightly against her mouth, her lips parting in response. Jay's throat bobbed as he closed the distance even more, allowing Erin to feel the warm puffs of his breath over her skin. God, he smelled intoxicating. His familiar scent of sandalwood and musk had her anticipating what was to come. It had been so long since they had been this close for her to take in his scent that reminded her of lustful trysts and passionate nights.
"So you and Severide?" Jay asked, his voice barely a whisper but it got her heart thudding against her chest anyway. Maybe it was the way he was still touching her. Soft. So softly as if she was a dandelion. A little more pressure and she'd fly away in the wind.
"Over," she replied, her voice just as quiet as his. Almost as if they were afraid that if they were any louder, the moment would cease to exist.
The beginning of a grin formed before he stopped it but Erin saw his eyes lit up in the way she loved. The same way they usually did whenever he was happy. She swore world wars would never happen again if they'd just send Jay and his smiling eyes in to do the negotiations.
He took a deep breath. "Why?"
Her eyes fluttered shut when his hand brushed her hair back before tucking a curl behind her ears. When she opened them again, he was watching her attentively. Erin swallowed to gather her bravado before she allowed herself to tell him what she should've said a long time ago. It always terrified her to be so vulnerable but this was Jay. There was no one she trusted more.
"Because of you." Her answer made him smile but she was only beginning. "Because I haven't been able to stop thinking about you ever since we met either. Because I wake up and the only person I want next to me is you. Because I get insanely jealous at the thought of you with another woman, especially with someone as pretty as Sylvie Brett." She took another breath, her chest flushed up against his. "Because I can't be with Kelly when I only want to be with you."
That was enough for Jay and he crashed his lips on hers. He heard her sigh into the kiss, like it had been a long time coming. A long time since their lips and limbs had latched onto each other as they should. He had been burying his feelings for Erin for what seemed like forever that he didn't even realize how much he had missed this. But now as she kissed him, matching him passion for passion, he felt his world tilt back to its rightful place. Like something amiss had finally finally been found. Yeah, he and Erin should definitely be kissing all the time. It'd be a crime not to.
He gripped her hips, almost possessively, like he was making sure he wasn't dreaming. But the way she was sucking on his tongue and the way her hand was pressed up against his chest? It told him that it definitely wasn't a dream. She moaned into his mouth and Jay lost all semblance of control at the lustful dulcet sound. He backed the two of them up until she was pressed up against the wall and Jay sucked on the sweet tasting skin on her neck, feeling her throat pulse from the moans she was releasing straight into his ears. Her fingers buried themselves into his hair and she pulled, like she needed something to hold onto before she lost herself in complete bliss.
Their mouths connected again and Jay pressed up against her even closer, his hands traveling to her legs and lifting it up around him. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, almost lifting her up from the ground in the process.
"Jay," she sighed his name and he nearly lost his mind. "Jay," she called again, reluctantly breaking the kiss. Jay pulled back a little, resting his forehead against her, both of their chests heaving. "Take me home," Erin said as she looked at him and ended her request with a kiss.
It was only then that Jay realized that they were still in public. Sure, they were cloaked in darkness of a winter night but there was hardly any privacy outside of a busy bar. At least, not enough privacy to do what they wanted to do. He rested his head on her shoulder and let out a small laugh. Erin chuckled and she kissed the tip of his ear. They had certainly given whoever was walking by Molly's a free show, too caught up in each other.
"Home." Erin said again and Jay nodded against her shoulder.
She didn't have to tell him again.
They raced to her place like two giddy teenagers and as soon as Erin got her door open, Jay was pushing her inside until they slammed against the wall together.
Erin giggled before Jay swallowed her every sound with his lips. The kiss quickly became fast and frantic like they had been waiting forever for this and couldn't wait a second more. Erin tugged at his jacket and Jay shrugged the impeding object off as fast as he could without breaking their kiss. He nipped at her lips a couple of times before shifting his attention to her neck, sucking at it like he was a starving man.
Erin gasped when he began to take off her leather jacket. "Fuck, you look so fucking hot in this," Jay said, emphasizing each of his words with a kiss. The red leather jacket had been the bane of existence ever since he and Erin had stopped their short-lived relationship. It had taunted him whenever she had adorned it on her body that he could no longer touch and kiss, the jacket fitting her so perfectly and making her look delectable. So now there was nothing more he'd like to do than to take it off of her body and throw it to the side.
Then the thin t-shirt she was wearing was next to go, Erin lifting her arms up so he could take it off of her and throw it to the floor, joining the leather jacket. He laced their fingers, both of her arms still held up against the wall, and he reconnected their lips. Erin slid her tongue into his mouth and Jay couldn't help but groan against it, the sensation felt too good to keep quiet.
He felt Erin's hand travel down his chest, lower and lower until her hand brushed against him and he hissed, too hard and sensitive from what she was doing to him.
"Erin," he nearly growled when she touched him with more assurance and he bucked against her hand. "Fuck!"
She laughed, probably enjoying the way she had him in the palm of her hand, literally. His little minx. He slammed his mouth on her again, more harder than she was anticipating, but that only seemed to urge her on. Erin went for his belt next, fumbling to undo the frustrating latches before she freed the leather strap from the loops and tossed it behind them.
"This needs to be off now," she ordered, her fingers working on the buttons of his jeans next.
"Wait, wait," he stopped her reluctantly and a look of uncertainty flashed on her face at Jay halting them. Jay looked at how her lips were swollen red from being kissed, her hair wild and her bra-clad chest rising and falling and the only thing that was on his mind was just how fucking gorgeous she looked. She was irresistible to him— always had been— but there was one thing he needed to know before he threw all caution to the wind again.
"Why you'd stop?" Erin asked and Jay was surprised to find a hint of vulnerability in her question. He cupped her face and gave her a kiss— gentle and reassuring instead of the fervorous ones they shared just seconds ago.
"What about Voight?" he asked her.
Erin searched his eyes, hazel probing blue, before she smiled at him. "What about Voight? He has nothing to do with us."
The meaning behind her answer was clear but Jay needed Erin to be sure about him, about them, before he got his hopes up too high. The memories of his hopes being crushed and his feelings tossed aside by her kept nudging at his head.
"Are you sure?" he asked her, not even giving a damn if he sounded exposed and vulnerable. He was defenseless against her anyway and she already knew that.
Erin held his face before capturing his mouth in a firm kiss. "Completely," she whispered the promise against his lips.
Completely. That one word had changed the whole atmosphere between them. Gone was the rushed and frantic mood from earlier, giving way to something more intimate. Something more tender.
They remained locked in a kiss as they scrambled towards her room and moved towards her bed. They stood by the edge of her bed, just looking at each other. They took in the moment, both of them knowing how monumental it was. Tonight wasn't like the previous nights they shared. There was no more pretenses of no-strings-attached sex and no more Erin pretending like she didn't care about him beyond more than a partnership. This was real.
Erin leaned in first to resume the kiss and Jay intensified it, holding her face in his hands. He trailed his mouth down to her throat and her chest, his fingers slowly pulling the strap of her bra off her shoulder. He sucked on the swells of her breasts, feeling goosebumps form on Erin's arms. Jay unclasped her bra and the silk and lace object fell to the floor.
"God, you're beautiful," Jay whispered as he brushed the underside of her breasts. Erin shivered as he grazed against her nipples, swirling around them until they came to life.
"Jay," she gasped when he skimmed his teeth against her collarbone and his hand cupped one of her breasts and gave it a squeeze. Jay smirked against her skin, trailing kisses down her body as he got on his knees.
Her jeans came off, Erin stepping out of them and kicking it to the side, leaving her only in her lace underwear that matched her bra. Only then it occured to Jay that Erin had planned for this, knowing that she wouldn't bother matching her undergarments otherwise. A surge of affection filled him at how she had wanted tonight to happen since before she came to Molly's. It felt good to know she wanted him as much as he did her.
He showed his appreciation by pressing his mouth against her thigh in tantalizing kisses before reaching her sensitive spot. He looked up at Erin and she gave him a small nod. Only then did he slid her underwear down her legs before his mouth found its way back onto her thigh.
Erin moaned softly when his breath teased her sensitive spot and he smirked, giving it a brief kiss before he stood up. He connected their mouths as he gently pushed her onto the bed until she was laying down on it. He discarded his jeans and his underwear until he was free from any restraining fabric. Erin's eyes glazed over as she watched him, propping her body up on her elbows.
Jay grinned before he crawled onto the bed, hovering over her body. He kissed her again and again until her lips were raw before directing his attention onto her chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it. Erin writhed underneath him as she kept releasing soft gasps. She always did enjoy that and Jay had no problem giving her all the pleasures she wanted.
"Fuck," she cursed as his mouth found its way back to her core and he smirked before opening her up and dragging his tongue up her core. Her body bucked up and he held onto her waist, holding her down while his tongue worked to bring her pleasure. She was gasping louder, her fingers burying into his hair and pressing him closer to herself. "Jay, I'm gonna…" she trailed off.
Jay continued what he was doing, licking and rolling his tongue against her walls. He felt her about to come so he added his finger into the mix and she mewled out loud. Jay looked at her face, wanting to see her uninhibited and in the throes of pleasure. Erin had her eyes clenched and she was biting down on her lips so hard.
"I want to hear you," Jay ordered. "Let me hear you, Erin."
Erin opened her eyes to meet his and she released her teeth from her lips. And when he inserted a finger in her, she let out a guttural groan that resonated all the way down, making him even harder than he thought possible. He wanted to hear more of the intoxicating sound so he added one more finger into the mix. Erin shouted out in unrestrained pleasure when his thumb rubbed against her clit and her body convulsed as she came.
He smiled and pressed a lingering kiss on her thigh before he climbed up her body again. Her face was flushed red and he brushed her hair back from her sweaty forehead, giving it a kiss. Erin was still breathing hard, trying to get her breath back. Her hand held his jaw before bringing his head down, the two of them meeting halfway for a kiss.
The kiss was slow and languid before it turned passionate again and she gripped his shoulder before flipping them around. Jay fell onto the bed, Erin taking him by surprise and he looked up to see her smirking at him.
"My turn," was all she said before she started kissing him, focusing on his favorite spot by his ear while she took him in her hand. She dragged her hand up and down his cock, working him until he was groaning, trying not to lose it too soon.
"Fuck, Erin," he tried to warn her that he wasn't going to last long. It had been months since he had been with anyone. Erin just smirked at him before she took him in her mouth. He groaned and closed his eyes at the warm and wet sensation. She teased him, dragging her tongue up and down his length before taking him in her mouth again and sucking. She took him in so deep that he nearly came and he had to grab at the bedsheet to stop his body from bucking into her mouth. He didn't want to hurt her, even as he was being consumed by pure lust. "Erin."
She released him from her mouth but she wasn't done yet. Neither of them were. He held her by her waist and turned them around so she was on the bottom again. He gave her a bruising kiss before he lined himself at her entrance.
Erin gave him a questioning look when he didn't enter her just yet. "I miss this," he told her, a tender confession in the midst of a carnal quest. Her eyes softened and she grazed her thumb over his lips.
"Me too," she returned, "I missed you too."
Their lips latched onto each other again and Jay slowly entered her, his mouth swallowing all of her moans. He buried his face into her neck, needing a moment to take a breath. It felt amazing to be buried inside Erin again, their bodies fitting so well together as always. If he could stay like this forever, then screw everything else in his life. This was where he was meant to be. This was what they were meant to be doing.
She nipped at his ear, Erin's favorite way of telling him that he could move. He gladly obliged as he pulled out before entering her again. She released blissful gasps onto his skin as he drove himself in and out of her, Erin grabbing onto his shoulder. And when he thrusted into her and hit her spot, she dug her nails into his skin. But the pain didn't register. Nothing did except for how fucking amazing it felt to feel Erin around him, her body welcoming him again and again.
"Please, Jay," Erin cried out, her voice trembling as she openly begged him to go faster. Jay rammed his cock into her as he brought her legs up, trying to go deeper. Erin screamed out, her fingers grasping the bed sheets so hard.
"Fuck yes, There! Right there!" she growled, her eyes squeezed shut as Jay tried to hit that spot over and over again. They moved and grunted as both of them gave up all control. Their only instincts— their only goal— was to find their release. Everything else be damned.
Jay felt the pressure pooling but there was no way he was going to lose it before he got Erin off. He slammed into her harder, the bed squeaking underneath them. He knew Erin was close, he could feel her about to reach her peak. So he rubbed her clit with force and her back arched up as her body went rigid.
The sound Erin made as she came would reside in Jay's memory forever— the most sinful and electrifying sound Jay had ever heard. Her body shook as she rode out her orgasm and it didn't take long for Jay to follow. He tossed his head back as he came, everything around him blurred and he was left seeing stars. He couldn't even be sure what kind of sounds he was making. Maybe animalistic. Maybe worse. But he couldn't even find it in himself to care as he went numb as he released himself in her.
He collapsed on her, his body completely spent and Erin welcomed him with open arms, their sweaty bodies flushed up against each other. Jay didn't ever want to leave her embrace but he pulled himself up enough so he could lay a kiss on her forehead, her closed eyelids before giving her a chaste kiss on her lips.
Jay felt Erin smile into the kiss and her hand came to rest on his chest, right over his thudding heart. Their forehead rested against each other and he just looked at the woman underneath him, unable to stop himself from smiling.
"What?" Erin asked him with a smile of her own but Jay could tell she was blushing his stare. He just shook his head softly before pecking her nose.
"I'm just happy, that's all."
Erin's face softened and she softly whispered, "Me too."
It felt like two magnets were being pulled apart when he finally tore himself away from her and laid down next to her on the bed. He grabbed the blanket that had fallen on the floor and covered them with it, feeling goosebumps starting to form on Erin's body. Erin shifted closer to him and he openly welcomed her in his arm, tucking her under his chin and pressing a kiss on the top of her head.
Maybe there were so many they needed to say to each other. Like something more definitive about their relationship and how tonight had changed everything between them. But they were both exhausted and sated and Jay just wanted to enjoy tonight before reality crashed its way into their lives.
Everything can wait until tomorrow.
Erin's eyes fluttered open as the sunlight hit her in the face and she groaned, turning her body around only to come face to face with a naked chest. The freckles splattered across the solid chest gave away just who was in her bed and Erin found herself smiling when she looked up to see Jay's sleeping face.
There was a familiar and welcomed soreness in between her legs, a reminder of just how amazing last night had been. Sex with Jay had always been good but last night. Last night was mind-blowing. Maybe it was Erin stopping her fight against her growing feelings for Jay or maybe it was Erin letting go of her restraints. Whatever it was, it took sex to the next level. Dare she say, it wasn't sex. It was making love.
She felt her face getting warm at the thought and she hid her face by pressing it against his chest. She couldn't stop herself from kissing his smooth skin and she felt Jay shift, indicating that he was waking up.
He groaned as he woke and he blinked a couple of times before his eyes finally landed on her. Immediately, a grin broke out on his face and Erin wondered briefly just how it'd feel to have Jay's smiles be the first thing to greet her every morning.
She pushed that thought to the side, not letting herself get too ahead before she and Jay talked. She had meant everything she said last night. She wanted to move forward with Jay and try a real relationship with him. The lust and fervor from last night had dissipated with the darkness and the morning light brought clarity.
"Good morning," Erin whispered, her voice sounding raspy in the morning.
"Good morning," Jay returned, watching her carefully with a strange look on his face. Erin was confused briefly about why Jay was looking at her like that before she realized that Jay was nervous. He was watching her like he was bracing himself for Erin to crush his world again and kick him out of her bed.
A painful ache took over her heart at that notion. She knew she had hurt Jay so many times before. She had made him think she had wanted more, only to pull the rug out from him. She couldn't blame him for being so skittish and nervous. Nor could she go back in time and smack herself from doing those idiotic thing. The only thing she could do was to stay in the present and make Jay realize that she was serious about them.
So she leaned up to press her lips against his in a firm kiss and she felt his breath hitched. It was just a short kiss, more for reassurance that she wanted the same thing as he did. When they pulled apart, the hesitation and doubt from his eyes had lessened but some still lingered.
"So," Jay began. "Do you remember what you said last night?"
Erin wet her lips. "I had one beer, Jay. My mind was clear. I remember."
She saw Jay's eyes filled with hope and she knew he was trying to keep himself in control. "So what you said about Voight?"
She connected their lips again, thinking action would say more than words. But this was Jay. He had stood by her through everything and he deserved to hear those words. "I haven't changed my mind about us, Jay. I meant what I said last night. I don't care about Voight. This is you and me. Voight has no say in our relationship."
"You called it a relationship," Jay whispered, almost in awe as his face lit up with a grin that made the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Erin couldn't stop herself from blushing, feeling her ears heat up. "Does it mean I'm your boyfriend?"
"Only if you call me your girlfriend."
He laughed before kissing her. "Oh yeah, I think I can make that happen," he said in between kisses. She held his face as he deepend the kiss. But before they took things further, Erin pushed him and held him by his shoulders.
"I'm serious, Jay. I don't care about Voight. Not anymore. I've done the whole secrecy thing and I've tried to forget about you and move on. But I can't. Not when it comes to you."
"Me too. You have no idea how miserable these last few months have been."
Again her chest thudded with pain. "I'm sorry."
He shook her apology away. "No need. You're here now. That's all that matters," he said as he grazed his fingers on her shoulder.
Their lips remained locked for a few minutes before they could pry themselves apart from each other. "So," Erin sighed. "When do you want to tell Voight?"
"I don't want to think or talk about Voight right now," Jay responded, nipping on her lips again.
"What do you want to do?"
Jay gave her a peck. "First, I want to make love to my girlfriend," he started. Another peck. "Over and over again." Another. "Then I want to take her out on a date" One more. "Then come home and do it all over again."
Erin hummed in approval. "Hmm, that sounds good," she said as he kissed her throat. "But Jay, I don't want to hide us from Voight and I don't want to make you think that I want to keep you a secret again."
Jay gazed down at her with a soft look in his eyes. "I know."
"And I'm really sorry for hurting you before and for pushing you away for so long. You didn't deserve that."
"It's fine, Erin," Jay insisted, waving her apology off again.
"You're important to me, Jay. So important and I need you to know that."
"Erin, Erin," he called her name, lifting her chin up with his finger. "I know. What happened before, it's in the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Besides it's not completely your fault. I may have gotten too excited and jumped the gun a little."
"No."
He shook his head and continued. "I know that I'm important to you. I also know that Voight is important to you too. I get it. It's not a simple black and white thing. You needed time without me pushing you to tell Voight. So let's do what we should've done from the beginning."
"What's that?" Erin asked.
"We'll take it slow okay?" Jay replied. "I want this. I want us. I want everything for us but everything doesn't have to happen in one day. You're worth the wait."
Erin smiled as she regarded him with adoration. "And Voight?"
"Voight and everyone else, they can be dealt with another day." He tugged her closer to his chest. "For right now, I only want to do this," he said as he connected their lips.
Erin smiled as Jay lifted her so she was on top of him.
Jay was right. Everyone else could be dealt with another day. Right now, Erin just wanted to make love to her boyfriend.
AN: Sex scenes are not my forte nor do I usually enjoy writing them. But somehow, this one just got away from me so I just hope I did their reunion justice.
My initial outline for the story had the story ending soon after one of my favorite episodes, The Weigh Station. But season 2 is my favorite and I am coming up all these scenarios in my head about how Linstead would be in season 2 if they were in a relationship so I think I'm going to extend the story.
Once again, I can't say enough about how thankful and appreciative I am of the support I get for my stories. You guys have no idea how encouraging it is to know that there are still Linstead fic readers out there so thank you, really and I'll see you guys soon.
