(Please read "Drawn to a Very Regular Crossover" and "Cock, Paper, Scissors. A Drake and Josh story" before reading this one. It's very important and funny as hell.)

Sam Puckett took a snort of cocaine.

"YEAH! SNIFF THAT LINE!" Carly yelled.

Freddie turned the camera to Sam. She was about to karate chop a watermelon in half for a really dumb challenge video on iCarly.

"Aww yeah!" Carly yelled while grabbing the tied-up homeless guy they kidnapped off the street. "Do you think she can break that watermelon in one hit!?"

The homeless guy cried, knowing he would be killed if she couldn't.

"Carly!" Fred yelled. "You can't have a crying homeless person in this shot!"

Carly got pissed and broke a chair on the ground.

"It's my fucking show! AND I AM DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

Carly proceeded to snort 4 lines of pure coke she got from Jew Producer. "MY SHOW!" Carly grabbed the homeless man by his head and ripped it off. Blood sprayed everywhere and part of his spine came out with it.

Boy, Paramount is going to have a hard time rebooting this… Wait what timeline does this story take place in? This info is essential to-

"GO AWAY, VOICES IN MY HEAD! I DON'T KNOW WHAT A PARAMOUNT IS!" Carly raged while headbutting the homeless guy's disembodied head repeatedly.

Man, that was metal as fuck.

"SHUT UUUUUP!" Carly cried.

Fuck you.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Freddy knew what was about to happen next if he didn't intervene. He didn't need to see another homeless genocide happen live on the show. Good for new viewers, but really bad for the long-time viewers.

"Guess what time it is!" Fred pushed a button.

"RRRRRANDOM DANCING!"

Carly and Sam both calmed down and began dancing like two coke addicts. None of what they were doing were actual dance moves, Sam was mostly just smashing the side and front of her skull into the wall. She was making progress too, the wall had a noticeable hole in it.

"OHH YEAH! THAT'S SOME GOOD HEA-"

"No Carly! Children are watching!" Fred warned.

"Oh, fucking nigger! Oh shit, sorry! NO ACTUALLY FUCK THE AZTECS!" Carly apologized then fucked up again.

Carly wouldn't get canceled for this. She was a methhead. Or a cokehead, whatever.

Anyway, drug addicts at least have an excuse, kind of… Not really but-

"Fuck you, voices! Jew Producer can bail me out of anywhere, so I don't need the pity!" Carly explained.

In a building somewhere else, Jew Producer slammed his fist on his desk while watching the episode.

"You fucking idiot! Just let the whole world know why don't you!?"

Wooldoor was in the room. His penis was out, but that's not at all important.

Penis.

Death does not apply to him. Penis.

"But, Jew Producer, sir," Wooldoor began, "This is basically free advertising for your services! Do you know how many elite members of society watch these Homeless snuff films? Celebrities and politicians will eat this stuff up!"

Jew Producer slammed his fist on his desk again.

"THE REGULAR PUBLIC ISN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW I PROVIDE THOSE SERVICES!"

Wooldoor's mind was fucking blown.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh… Hey, wait!" Wooldoor suddenly perked up. "Foxy told me something very important I was supposed to tell you 9 hours ago."

Jew Producer slowly turned his head (Speaker, thing?) towards Wooldoor.

"WHAT… Did she want you to tell me?"

Wooldoor gulped.

"Well uhhh. She found out that pink guy with the big head that killed us at the park had wiretapped your call with Carly. So Foxy recommended that you get extra security for the show tonight."

Jew Producer began shaking with rage.

"Wait, don't get mad!" Wooldoor began pleading. "I personally don't think the security is needed. The show is going fine! They even killed the homeless guy early!"

Right as he finished, the power was shown going off in Carly's studio. The feed was immediately terminated a second later. Wooldoor ran out of the room.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Wooldoor shrieked in fear.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Jew Producer roared.

Outside of Carly's apartment building, Pops admired his handy work.

"Jolly good show!" Pops clapped his hands, even with one of them holding a wire cutter.

The landlord would be PISSED later.

Oh, wait never mind. He was actually right there.

The celebration was short-lived, as Lewbert Sline, the landlord, came outside. Armed with a baseball bat and several mental problems, he was ready to let his rage out on someone.

"WHO-GHHHHHAHAHAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYAAAAA?! I JUST PAID THE ELECTRIC BILL!"

All hell immediately broke loose as Sline hit Pops in the stomach with the bat. He wasn't sure if he had actually done anything wrong but he was too pissed off to care.

"OUCH!" Pops yelled. "I was going to pay for the repairs after I was done here, but not anymore! NOW BACK AWAY, ASSAULTER!"

Pops punched Sline in the gut, causing him to drop his bat.

"*Oof* YOU ASSHOOOOOLEAAAAAA! GHHHAAAAAHHHHAAAAA!"

But suddenly, Sline pulled out the gat. He also pulled out his penis. Once again though, this had nothing to do with the plot. Gay Penis.

"GYAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!" Sline yelled, trying to figure out how to load it.

He was a landlord, not a marksman.

Pops bitchslapped the gun away. Sline shrieked again and clocked Pops in the head with the pistol itself.

"Ouch! Bad show!" Pops went in for a Batista Bomb from the WWE WWF PPPenis, but his head was too big so he couldn't lift Sline up properly.

"SHKRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!" Sline yelled as he clocked Pops in the head again, freeing himself from the failed Bomb of Batista.

No, we don't mean the Cuban dictator. We've made that mistake before.

"OUCH! PENIS BAD SHOW!" Pops shrieked incoherently. Side note, we should stop saying penis. It is clearly starting to affect Pops on some sorta-

Penis penis penis PEEnis Penis pEnis PeniS-

"Penis Penis Penis!" Pops… FUCK!

(((ONE LONG ASS FIX LATER)))

"OUCH! BAD SHOW! VERY BAD SHOW!" Pops shrieked incoherently.

"RRHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sline Raged, while going in for another hit.

Pops grabbed his arm and broke it at the elbow.

"OH GOD! OOOHHHHHH GHHHAAAAAAADDDDD!"

Sline fell to his knees but was immediately kneed in the face by Pops. As Sline fell to the sidewalk, Pops refused to let up.

"BAD SHOW!"

Pops put Sline into an Undertaker tombstone piledriver position and did just that. This killed Sline instantly or at least knocked him out cold. You decide for yourselves. We don't want to cause anyone trauma. :)

"Oh my. I seem to have killed him." Pops noticed.

Well, there goes the mystery…

With Sline taken care of, Pops ran inside the front entrance. Using a handy flashlight, Pops found Carly's room number on Sline's desk.

"8/C? Oh my, that's pretty high up. I'd best drink some of my juice for energy in my increasing age!"

Pops took a drink of juice like a boss.

Pops searched around for some stairs and began making his way up. In Carly's recording studio, Carly and Sam were freaking the fuck out.

"This is it! THIS IS IT!" Carly cried.

"What is it? Why are you two freaking out so badly?" Freddie asked.

Sam punched him in the nuts hard enough to make him go into shock, killing him almost instantly.

"The power going out is a sign that someone is finally here to bring me down for our human trafficking ring!" Carly cried out.

Spencer came running in, armed with a Weed Whacker. It was part of an anti-Weed sculptor he made, but sadly never actually got to show off. As he did too much Meth that day.

"Don't worry Carly, if they want to hurt you, then they'll have to get through me!"

Spencer quickly snorted more Meth (Ouch) and ran downstairs. He waited in the dark living room for a potential foe. Normally he would wait hours for nothing to happen. This was a common occurrence when the power went out, after all. Tonight would be different though.

Pops finally made it up to Carly's door and stopped a moment to catch his breath. He hated to admit it, but fighting Sline was less exhausting than climbing all those steps.

"I sure hope Carly doesn't have a bodyguard or anything. I don't want to be tired out when I interrogate her."

All of a sudden Spencer booted down the door. He had to kick the door multiple times in quick Methhead succession to get it to break all the way.

"Oh, goodness!" Pops yelled.

"Marvin bit my pants!" Spencer yelled while having a sleep-deprived meth-induced hallucination.

Pops backed away as Spencer swung the Weed Whacker around like a mad man.

"I beg your pardon?" Pops asked.

Pops then got hit in the face by the weed whacker, leaving a mark.

"OUCH! BAD SHOW! THAT'S A BAD FUCKING SHOW!" Pops yelled in pain.

"YAAAAHHHH! WEEDWHACKER FOOOOOOOO!" Spencer wailed, then hit the weed whacker against the door frame.

Bits of wood and plastic went flying everywhere as the weed-whacker's whacky part basically exploded.

Spencer ignored this and began to hit Pops with it.

"OUCH! YOU MADMAN!" Pops yelled as he got bashed in the arm with it.

Pops dodged out of the way as Spencer took another swing. This time, Spencer hit the wall, leaving a huge hole in it. This happened again a few seconds later. Boy, if the landlord weren't dead, he'd be pissed.

One of the neighbors was hearing the ungodly noises and decided to investigate. He looked visibly pissed off. Upon seeing Spencer with a destroyed weed whacker, the neighbor went back inside.

"That's it! I hope you have good manners because you're going to need them IN HELL!" Pops yelled.

Spencer again attempted to hit Pops with the weed whacker. Pops managed to grab it and pull Spencer towards the stairwell in the process.

"Hey! That's mine! I USE THAT TO MAKE MY METH MONEY!" Spencer scream-cried.

Pops booted Spencer down the stairs, causing him to tumble down a flight of steps. While dazed, Pops smashed the gas tank open, causing gas to get all over Spencer.

"Ghhhaaahhh! What are you doing?!" Spencer complained.

Pops lit a match and threw it at Spencer before dodging for cover. A small explosion happened that sent Spencer farther down the stairs. We don't know if he died, but that definitely knocked him unconscious.

After that, the building began to catch on fire. So never mind, this killed Spencer.

"Oh my, I really didn't think that badass death through all too much. I'd better interrogate Carly quickly before this entire building comes down."

Pops burst into the apartment room and whipped out a set of twin pistols like some Clint Eastwood shit.

"I sure wish I remembered these during those two fights." Pops said to himself.

He began to make his way upstairs. Suddenly-

"GIBBY!"

Gibby began falling from the ceiling towards Pops. Pops effortlessly shot Gibby four times, twice with each pistol like a boss, and moved out of the way as Gibby's dead body hit the ground with a bloody splat.

"Never announce your attack, you fool." Pops scolded.

Pops walked upstairs, epicly entering the studio like a Chad with a 24-inch cock. Except it's his head. Not penis head. Penis.

Okay, we need to stop that.

He was met with the sight of Sam violently having a seizure on the floor. Her head was gushing blood.

On the other side of the room, Carly was taking her own shit and smearing it on the window, then sticking paper to it.

"WHY ISN'T THE PORTAL OPENING?!" Carly shrieked. "DID THAT JEW LIE TO ME?!"

Pops shot at the window.

"Now see here, you-"

Carly's eyes lit up in joy.

"THE SPARK! IT WORKED!"

Carly jumped through the window. Her coked-out mind thought it was a working portal.

"...Oh my."

Pops walked up to the now scattered window. Carly's screams were heard rapidly getting quieter. Then, nothing… Then the sounds of people screaming as the building burned filled the night.

"Now how will I get that-" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Freddie's lap-top. "I wonder…"

Pops checked It out. After a few seconds of searching through Freddie's email, he found that Carly had refused to let him delete all her evidence of sex trafficking. One video though stood out.

Carly and Sam looked to be having a Crossover with the Gorillaz. They were in some unknown dungeon, while 2D was giving a tour.

"Hey, Carly!" 2D yelled. "Check out our dungeon!"

"Oh, wow! This place is awesome, I can't believe you were able to fit them all down here!" Carly replied.

"YOOOOOOO!" Spencer shouted. "Is this where you keep all your Mongolian sex slaves!?"

"Nah!" 2D laughed. "They're from Bolivia too!

"And it's also where we keep ALL of our slaves! Not just the Mongolian ones!" Murdock added.

Everyone shared a laugh.

"Ohh my, I never would have guessed this band had such a weirdly specific kink." Pops cringed, fearing what might happen next.

...He wouldn't have to watch for long though.

"Haha! Wow! I can believe all this time, the Gorillaz had a sex dungeon hidden inside of East Pines Park!"

2D panicked and smacked the camera away but it was too late.

Pops was completely shocked.

"I CANNOT ABIDE THIS TOMFOOLERY ANY LONGER!" Pops put the laptop in a spare bag he found. "I CANNOT BELIEVE OUR RIVAL PARK HAS BEEN HARBORING SUCH ABHORRENT CRIMINAL ACTIVITY!"

Pops pulled out his guns again. He looked over at Sam and saw that the fast-spreading fire had burned her to death. He considered this a victory and felt pumped to save the day.

"I DO SAY, IT IS INDEED TIME TO FUCK SOME SHIT UP!"

Pops ran out of the building as it burned. After being far enough away to start safely walking like a badass, the building blew up. This was only a fraction of the damage Pops intended to inflict when the time came.