Hook returned to the Jolly Roger after sundown, the cockboat heavy from meat, coconuts, fruit, vegetables, and freshwater. With the help of the crew, Starkey loaded the provisions onto the main deck where his men sorted through them while Hook scanned the deck and asked Mr. Smee if Baelfire returned.
"Early afternoon, captain. He went straight to Miss Swan's cabin."
"And how is Miss Swan today?" he asked.
"She kept to her room until Bae visited her. They ate lunch, he cared to his chores before returning to her cabin. Is she well, captain? It's unlike her to keep below deck for so long."
"I'm sure she's fine," Hook said quickly. Not a moment ticked by when his thoughts weren't on Emma while trekking through the island. He planned speeches and flowery apologies, pretty and heartfelt words to let her know how truly sorry he was for the kiss.
Truly sorry and truly buggered. What had he done? How could he be such an imbecile?
Yet, Emma's lips had been divine. The shadow hadn't been able to capture their true taste or texture. She tasted of sunlight on a hot day with a hint of something tart and floral.
Hook travelled below deck, lantern in hook, and saw Emma's cabin door closed. He opened it and crept passed the threshold, his focus landing on Emma. She was tucked beneath her blanket, and he contemplated in allowing her rest but what occurred needed to be addressed promptly. He put the lantern on the desk, the light hitting her partially uncovered face. Her eyelids twitched and then fluttered open, her gaze staring blankly at nothing in particular for a few moments before landing on him.
"May I sit?" He gestured to the chair beside him. "We need to talk about what happened earlier."
The girl bolted into a sitting position, her brow wrinkling. "Why did you kiss me?"
Hook was taken aback by her abruptness. He had planned on being the first to address what happened followed by a sincere apology, concluding with the prospect of putting the situation behind them. Never had he thought about actually explaining why he was compelled to kiss her.
"Miss Swan," he began carefully, "your stubbornness this morning troubled me."
"So…" Emma folded her arms, befuddled. "Kissing me was the solution in keeping me from soaking you. To keep me from going to the reservation. I'm not sure I follow."
"I'd like to put this behind us. It's why I came to see you. I wanted to apologize. It won't happen again. If you'll excuse me." He moved to get up from the chair but stopped when Emma shook her head.
"No, you didn't answer my question. You…" She crawled out of the covers and hopped onto the floor. "You kissed me for a reason. It wasn't to shut me up. Was it because you're lonely? Frustrated that you're lonely? You can tell me. I'm aware people react in certain ways when they don't have…relations?" She winced and scratched behind her ear. "I get it, really. I thought about it a lot today, and it makes sense. I'm not mad, Hook, and you said you're sorry. I was shocked, I guess. I definitely wasn't expecting…that."
In her stumbled language, she was practically handing Hook an excuse, albeit a piss poor one. He should latch onto it, agree with her. As she said, she wasn't angry and understood some but very little of the limits of human restraint. Alas, he was Captain Hook, a feared pirate in many realms, but he was a lieutenant first. A gentleman did not kiss a lady because he was incapable of showing restraint after many years of forced celibacy. A gentleman wouldn't kiss a lady at all without her permission, but underneath his own wretchedness was Killian, a man. A man, indeed, had urges and for the briefest moment, Hook couldn't control that part of him because the lady in front of him was Swan, a troubled orphan girl who shot an arrow at him upon first sight and tossed insults as easy as breathing. He desired her almost as much as he had with Milah. Almost as much as avenging her.
Gods, the lass was going to be far worse than the death of him. Emma was going to be the loss of his identity. It buckled and groaned because of Bae, but Emma unknowingly dug into the bloody foundation of him and was sawing at his roots. Indeed, Pan was right. He needed to be away from her. Whatever reasons that demon had, Hook needed to regain his own.
His only hand seemed to disagree with him, for his thumb found her chin, caressing the pale skin. "That is not why," he whispered, all but spouting the depth of his affection. Gods, he was a self-traitorous tosser.
She paled noticeably and her breath quickened. Her mouth opened as if to speak but nothing came out, so he cupped her cheek. "In many ways, I failed today as a gentleman and the captain of my ship. I promise you, Emma, despite it all, I will never behave in such a way again."
Before he could let her go, she grabbed his hand and placed a hesitant kiss on the heel. She then pulled it from her cheek and laced her fingers through his. "I might…have feelings for you, too. But…um…it's…"
Torn between elation and terror by her confession, he said, "Bad form."
She let him go and took a step back. "Among other things."
"This morning will not be repeated. I will stay true to my word," he vowed.
Hook caught the disappointment flickering across her features and nearly broke his promise then and there, but then she firmly said, "I know," and he couldn't do it. Regardless of their amicable attraction for each other, they weren't fools. Engaging in an affair, even in Neverland where consequences of reality were minimal, would bring distress to both parties. He'd grow annoyed by her childish behavior. As endearing as it was to evoke a water fight and play a target for her petty insults, Hook liked his women more stable.
Emma would tire of him, as well. Outside of the bedroom, he wasn't particularly playful. He wasn't childlike and certainly didn't fancy running about like Bae, having little or no concern about being gutted while scouring the island doing gods no what. He'd admit to being a lost man, not a boy. And lost men and lost little girls were not complimentary.
Hook ducked his head in a slight bow. "I will allow you to retire for the night. I expect you still require assistance."
"Yes."
"Then I will see you in the morning, lass. Good night."
"Good night."
The week breezed by with nothing more than a thick, dense ambiance of awkwardness. Emma no longer baited Hook with insults and, in fact, stayed silent for the most part, as did he. Their days were spent separated from each other until evening when Hook requested Baelfire leave Miss Swan's cabin. They were up to something, those two, but Hook didn't pay too much mind. They were safe. Bae hadn't left the ship since that one morning and today Pan would come for Hook's response.
When the sun started sinking into the horizon, Hook ordered his crew below deck while he dwelt on the main level waiting for Pan to show. Soon, he spotted a boat rowing towards the ship and peered through the spyglass, seeing Felix and Benjamin operating the oars. Hook allowed only Felix to board while the other stayed in the boat.
"Captain," Felix greeted in a hollow voice.
"Felix."
"How's the girl? Healing, I presume. I was careful in my aim."
Hook brought his hook to the boy's throat, imagining the vengeful thrill of driving a gaping hole into him. "We are to discuss Pan's offer. I accept."
Felix grinned. "And do you agree to his terms? You'll not put up a fuss when you're separated from our dear Emma and Bae."
Tasting bile on the back of his tongue, Hook agreed, "Aye."
"Pan will be pleased."
"When do we leave this bloody place?"
"When the time is right. Everything will happen when it's supposed to. Until then, spend what moments you have left with Baelfire. With Emma."
Hook watched them row away before going below deck and checking in on Emma, surprised to find her awake and peering out the open window, her right arm resting on the pane. That morning she insisted on removing her sling, claiming she was healed enough to go without it and needn't his morning assistance any longer.
Emma spared him a glance and lamented, "The crying's louder than usual tonight. Couldn't fall asleep."
"Closing the window helps, love."
"It doesn't," she murmured and pushed herself off the wall. "What did Felix and Benjamin want?"
"They delivered a message from Pan." He smiled tightly. "Nothing to be concerned of."
"If you're going to lie, Hook, don't do it to me." She scooted by him and climbed into bed, wiggling beneath the covers.
He went to the desk beside her and extinguished the lantern. The lack of light somehow amplified the weeping coming from the island, and he closed the window and locked it. The moon was full and shown a direct ray into the cabin, illuminating the room enough to still see Emma.
"Does it bother you, the moon?" he asked.
Her lips pressed into an amused half-smile. "No. Should it?"
He shook his head and left the room, bidding her goodnight before closing the door and retiring to his cabin where he failed to achieve a wink of sleep until an hour or so before dawn. When he arose, he found Mr. Smee in the kitchen partaking of a pre-breakfast dish of bread, pineapple, and rum.
"Baelfire isn't in his bunk, sir."
Hook groaned and found himself a metal mug, hastily filling it with rum. "Bleedin' Christ, that child. He'll return eventually and when he does..."
"Another thing, sir," Smee interrupted. "I happened to walk by Miss Emma's cabin. The door was open, and I was curious. She's wasn't in bed either. A cockboat is gone."
Emma followed close behind Baelfire as he led the way. To where, she wasn't exactly sure, but he seemed to know where he was going through the trees and bushes of Dreamshade. Though it was morning, there hadn't been any hint of sun when she and Bae made shore. It was dark, and they had to walk slow as to not cause to much of ruckus or incidentally brush up against something poisonous.
"Bae," she whispered uneasily. He may have his cutlass and dagger, but she was unarmed. She'd seen him spar and duel with the crew on the ship, and he was good. On the other hand, he was defending himself and not another person.
"Hmm?"
"How much farther?"
"We're almost there."
Another twenty minutes and they were standing at the base of a treehouse Emma had never seen before. Truthfully, she'd never been to this section of the island because it was too close to Dark Hallow. Bae stooped down and picked up a small rock and chucked it at the siding of the makeshift shelter.
"Tink," he shouted quietly.
"Come up," a woman voice beckoned.
Bae climbed the ladder and Emma went up after him, her shoulder somewhat aching but she managed just fine getting inside the treehouse and finally come face to face with Tinker Bell. The pixie was nothing like Emma pictured her. Firstly, she pictured the woman tinier. Yes, Tink was shorter than both Emma and Bae, but she was still human-sized. Secondly, she didn't hold the kind of sass Disney portrayed her having. Actually, this Tinker Bell radiated a lost and bitter aura about her, even some regret and sadness, too. It seemed to Emma, not only did Disney get everything wrong, but so did Barrie.
"I'm Emma," she introduced.
Tinker Bell stared at her a long time before saying to Bae, "Shadow brought her from the Land Without Magic?"
"Yes."
The woman frowned. "Huh. Well, did you bring it?"
Bae opened his satchel and pulled out the two coconut halves, and Tink placed a small, stout candle in one of them. "The Shadow is compelled to go towards light," she said.
"Which is why it keeps to Dark Hollow," Emma said uncertainly and Bae nodded.
Tinker Bell picked up a lit candle from the floor beside a cot and ignited the wick inside the coconut. Bae then covered the flame with the peppered half and looked up at the ceiling. "It worked," he said, laughing lightly.
Emma followed his gaze and smiled at the star-like flecks on the rotting, splintered wood. Her wonder then eased away when not recognizing anything from the projection. She was far from being able to navigate by the night sky, but she had become more familiar with the constellations and certain stars while aboard the Jolly Roger. After critically eyeing the lights, she was able to find Cassiopeia and Orion but not where they were supposed to be.
Tinker Bell seemed to have lost interest, for she looked away and said, "I haven't enough water for all of us. I'll be back, and I'll make us some tea. Do you like tea, Emma?"
Emma nodded and the moment the pixie left the treehouse, she blurted, "Bae, this doesn't make sense."
He beamed at her, like he was proud she noticed. "I encoded the projection. Only I can decipher it. Here." He carefully handed her the coconut, the shell warm in her hands. He came up close behind her and put a careful hand on her healing shoulder, his opposite finger pointing at a random star. "Recognize that one?" he whispered into her ear.
"It's um…" She chuckled and then cleared her throat. "Arcturus."
"And that one?"
"Fomalhaut?"
"How about that one?"
"Pollux."
His lips were nearly touching her earlobe, and he corrected, "Castor."
"Castor," she repeated and then stooped down to balance the coconut by their feet.
"Emma, may I…"
She straightened and then cupped his face, kissing him fairly this time unlike the last time she threw herself at him. That time, Hook plagued her spirit, and in many ways, he still did. Her feelings for him were as strong as they had been when she confessed to liking him, too, a week ago. Yet, until she left Neverland, she would always be almost seventeen, and he would be…
Emma had no idea how old Hook was, in years or physically. Either one wasn't promising. Even when she returned to her world and started aging again, there wouldn't be a place for either of them in each other's lives. Their physical age gap, if anything, was too severe.
Would Hook go with them when she and Bae left? Did he want to go to a place where there wasn't magic? Would he take on the challenge just to get out of this godforsaken hell of a shit-pit? Emma tried picturing him in normal clothes and doing mundane activities like waiting in line at Starbucks, picking up bacon cheeseburgers and Oreo milkshakes at the drive-thru, and drunkenly yelling at the television broadcasting a Red Sox game.
It occurred to Emma, rather belatedly, that she was pondering Hook again when kissing Bae and, therefore, not making their second kiss any more genuine than the first. As if to make it up to Bae, she deepened the kiss and put her hands on his shoulders and then skimmed them down his arms, reaching his palms and placing them on her waist. He gave her an experimental squeeze before pulling her into a more intimate embrace. Emma had to tilt her head to achieve better access to his mouth and then did some experimenting of her own by sliding her tongue out and pricking it with his. He bristled and backed away from her, panting heavily.
"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her mouth and eyes landing below his belt and then promptly covered her reddening face. "I'm really, really sorry. I didn't think you would…"
"I'm just going to…stand over here."
Emma looked through her fingers and saw Bae standing in the corner leaning against the wall. His forehead was smashed into the crook of his arm, and he continued to breathe heavily. She was grateful he had the sense not to take care of the predicament in front of her. She had no idea if he even had "the talk" yet or Hook even believed it necessary because Neverland was predominantly XY. Or maybe Hook hadn't needed to give the woebegone, embarrassing tale of The Birds and the Bees and Baelfire got that from his actual dad.
Or maybe Bae simply had no idea what was happening to his body.
Emma had lived with enough pubescent males to know that this situation should not be a completely foreign concept to Bae. He was an almost fifteen year old boy. He had to know something.
She sat down on the floor, folding her legs in front of her and stretching her arms behind her to lean back and stare at the faux starry night and then peered out the glassless window, noticing a dark fluttering in the nearest tree branch. She puckered her lips, rolled her tongue, and let out a purring hoot. The fluttering dark figure launched towards her and perched on her shoulder.
"Hey, you." She rubbed her fingertip underneath the pigeon's beak. "Miss me while I've been away?"
The pigeon released a purring croon, and she chuckled. "All right. Keep watch over him, would you? Hey, Bae. Your captain just reached the southern shore. I think he's looking for us."
The bird flew away and Baelfire finally joined her on the floor, a deep crimson tint on his cheeks. "Is it common where you're from to communicate with birds?"
"No. Not even a little. There are those who claim they can talk to animals, but they're a bunch of quacks. Until I came here, I didn't even know I could." Emma shrugged.
"Where I'm from, it's not strange. Birds, they're used as messengers and can understand you, but many people can't understand them. My father...they could talk to him. He could understand like you."
Emma regarded with a curious look. "You hardly talk about him, your dad."
"You don't either."
"Why would I talk about your dad?" Emma snorted and playfully punched Bae in the shoulder. "When I said I was an orphan, I meant it. I don't know my parents."
"Do you think you'll ever find them? Do you even want to? I guess I should ask."
"Find them? I haven't..." She frowned and shook her head. She hadn't even thought about doing that. They abandoned her on a roadside. They clearly didn't want her, but a small part of her hoped they regretted their decision in giving her up.
"I don't know," she managed with a heavy sigh. "I should probably do other things first. Like school."
"School? Like...like tutors?" Bae asked uncertainly and Emma nodded. "I'm going to London."
"Uh…okay," she said, amused. "Can you drop me off in Boston first?"
"Come with me."
"To London?" She chuckled and bit her lip, shaking her head.
"There's no reason we can't go together."
"Bae," she said and shifted so she was sitting more comfortably, "London isn't like how you remember it. A lot has changed. The Darlings aren't going to be there."
His face puckered, and she knew he wanted to argue with her. He soon shrugged and said, "I think my captain will like it there. It wouldn't just be you and me. It would be all of us."
Emma was surprised to hear him say such things. Yes, Bae made it known he wanted the captain and crew to leave Neverland, too, but he never said he wanted to still be around Hook. Bae had bitterly but vaguely told her about the indiscretion between Hook and his mother Milah, and Emma presumed Bae would rather be separated from his guardian than continue to be under his home-wrecking thumb.
Despite the grudge Bae had against Hook, it occurred to Emma that Bae didn't hate Hook. Not even a little and nowhere close to it.
"We could be a family," Bae added.
"Oh, Bae," she said, shaking her head. Did he even know what that word meant? Did anyone know in Neverland what that meant? She sure as hell didn't. "I don't know. We'll see, okay?"
Tinker Bell returned not two minutes later and prepared two bowls of tepid tea. Emma held back from asking her questions. It's not every day a girl has tea with a well-known and beloved fairytale character. She had wanted to do this with Ariel, too, but the point was moot considering the mermaid couldn't speak.
"You can leave, too, Tink," Bae said after finishing his tea.
The woman looked both hopeful and goddamned terrified. "I can't leave," she finally said. "I was banished here. This is my punishment."
"Neverland is your punishment?" Emma frowned. What could this itty bitty person have done to deserve such a fate? Why not kill her instead? When she glanced at Baelfire, he seemed to be thinking along the same lines.
"I don't want to talk about it." She stared at her hands and then said, "You two should go soon. The sun's almost up."
Once Emma and Baelfire climbed down the tree, Emma pointed in a random direction. "The reservation. It's that way, isn't it?"
He laughed. "No. Why?"
"I want to trade." She bit her lip and pointed somewhere else. "The beach, right?"
"Sure, but going through the island will take less time if you want to visit the tribe."
"I'm not worried about time," she said and trudged through some bushes, making her own pathway. Ten minutes later, she began to recognize her surroundings and picked up the pace towards the south-eastern shore. A half hour later, they were near the water and Emma picked up a large seashell.
"Tink told me if you blow into one, you can catch a squid," Bae offered.
"What the hell would I need a squid for?"
"The ink. The rumor is that it can trap even the most powerful of beings." A beat later, he added, "Like Pan."
Emma arched a brow, mildly intrigued but only just that. "Take it from me, Bae. Unless the ink can kill him, he's not worth the effort."
"You sound like Hook."
"Of all the things your captain is, he's not an idiot. So thanks." Emma brought the operculum close to her mouth and whispered into it. Seconds later, Ariel emerged and smiled brightly at her, like she was relieved. She paddled closer to the shore, an expectant expression upon her features.
"I was hurt and couldn't come," Emma explained, working her way into the water, her legs soaked from the knee down. "I'm fine now, but I need pearls if you got some."
Ariel spared Bae a distrustful glare before opening her satchel and loading Emma's palm with at least thirty pearls.
"You've been hoarding in my absence. Thank you," Emma said and then hugged her. "For everything."
Emma and Baelfire hiked the eastern outskirt of the island and by mid-morning, they reached the Piccaninny reservation where Emma traded the pearls for a new bow, a full quiver, a satchel, a small vial of hair rinse, and two small wedges of chocolate. One for her and one for Bae. Nearly an hour after they left the tribe and headed back down the eastern part of the island, the hooting pigeon from that morning circled them, stopping Emma in her tracks and her heart sinking low in her stomach.
"Are you sure?" she asked and the bird hooted again.
"What's wrong?" Bae asked.
Emma gripped her bow, the other grabbing at the sling of her quiver. "Hook. He's at the south spring. He's in trouble."
