Max and he had similar childhoods. They had more in common than he had ever thought. But where she had rebelled and ran. He didn't.
Where would he have run to anyway? To his father who had disappeared without a trace leaving his sons to angry wolves? To his mother, a human weakling shipped away in a mental institution? He had nowhere to run to then.
So he had endured the torture, no ordinary 13 year old would have survived. He had endured the beatings and the name calling during his academy years. At least, until he grew stronger and then he was the one doing the beating.
And like Max he had renamed himself. He became Ames White.
As he walked the halls of the rebel base, his mixed feelings resurfaced again as he saw a familiar face nodding to him.
After the betrayal of his father and several other families, the names and photos of the rebels were put on display for them at the Academy. They had been told that the traitors were dead and that that was the fate of anyone who defied the Council. They hadn't been told how the traitors had defied the Council. They just had been taught to hate the people in the pictures.
But here in the rebel base, he had encountered, and at least exchanged a word with each person in those pictures. Sometimes a wince, a firming of his lips still betrayed him. It wasn't obvious to most of them, but it was obvious to Max. So she had talked about one of her sisters. One that she had helped to escape and was living in Mexico. One who had fallen pregant. One who had remained in Manticore when her unit had decided to get out. And she had talked about her own experience back in Manticore. That had helped him. She had helped him.
The pictures of the traitors were etched in his mind, not only because he had a very good memory, but also because, it was only in those pictures that he saw his father as he grew up.
At first, like any child he couldn't believe that his father was a traitor, and that he had abandonned him to people who hated him and punished him for the sins of his father. Then his love for his father turned to hate, and every morning, he had stopped in front of his father picture to remind himself of the person he didn't want to become. So as he grew up, he remained clean shaven where his father had let his beard grow. He was determined to not be his father.
And yet, when he decided to come to the rebel base, he had reacted like his father. That much he had said to Max. Her answer was still ringing in his head: "You are nothing like your father! You didn't abandon your son! You didn't abandon me!"
He clenched his fist, and remembered in time the packet of salt he had in his hands. It was still hard to talk and nod to people he had been taught to despise.
"Sandeman!" He hated that name.
He thought about ignoring it, but he turned around. He knew it was Ian Hanley. Ian would have been a few years behind him, had he been enrolled at the Academy. But at the time, his father had decided to homeschool him. Since Elder Hanley had been the previous Headmaster, no one had blinked at the unusual request. Plus, everyone knew that at the time, Ian's Father was almost on his deathbed. As a result, beside Andrea and Cameron – who were enrolled at the European Academy – Ian was one of persons here that he had a most neutral relationship with.
"I have a question for you." Ian started immediately.
Ames understood through Max that Ian was a bit awkward but a straightshooter.
"I'm listening." Ames replied with a hint of impatience. He was late for dinner.
"I would like to discuss your stay in Terminal City. I'm trying to gain an insight on Max's powers then." the scientist explained.
Ames frowned but nodded. Max had come back from her "training" in a dark mood today. He wanted to know why.
"Did you register some troubles in the hierarchy when she was there or when she was being discussed?" Ian asked.
"Be more specific. My presence there also caused some troubles, as you put it, and her name was associated with mine."
"Indeed, indeed." whispered Hanley, "Was there a Commanding Officer of sort when you arrived?"
"Yes."
"When Max was around, did he in anyway differ to her on some subjects?"
Ames thought about it, recalled the power play in TC and then nodded.
"Amazing!" Ian exclaimed.
"What does it mean?"
"She exceeds even your father's predictions!" the rebel squeezed Ames' upper arms in his excitement. "Sorry." he said. He knew he hadn't squeezed hard but he had noticed that Ames didn't like it when one of them touched him. He didn't apologize, just continued his explanation. "From what I understand, he was unable to reproduce what he did with her DNA. He simply didn't have the time and the Phalanx's were on his trail. He had to leave Manticore without succeeding in creating a safeguard. I don't think that he would have managed anyway." he looked Ames in the eye and added. "He didn't have enough time to study her.
"Was that all Hanley? My family is waiting for me and I'm already late for dinner." He'd decided to forgo any explanation about Max's behavior from Hanley. The younger familiar didn't observe the reaction of his peers to his proding and questionning. He wouldn't be able to tell him what had put his mate in a foul mood.
"Of course, of course! But aren't you the least bit curious about her?" the rebel wondered.
"All I want to do is give her a chance to live. Give my sons a chance to live. If she gets out of this alive, I won't die for nothing."
"You love her." Ian stated.
Ames didn't want to wait and hear Hanley's impressions and opinions about his relationship with Max so he turned and left.
He suspected from the covert glances she was throwing his way since yesterday that she knew he was going to die in the battle. Most of the rebels were going to die. But where they had made some kind of peace with the end of their lives, he didn't. He found it unjust that when he finally met his perfect match in life, she was going to be the one to end his life. Karma's a bitch Max would have said. Afterall, he had killed Wendy and now, Max was going to kill him.
He wasn't the fairytale kind of guy and this possible ending was proof: he was more the vilain than the dashing hero, on a quest to save his damsel in distress. Max was no damsel in distress, she would refuse to be described in those terms, but she had the naivety that somehow they were going to prevail.
Thanks to her, they were going to prevail. But not all of them were going to be there to witness it. He wondered how she could have lived the life she led and still believe that somehow, things were going to work out for them. How was it that she just didn't give up and say: "alright life, you got me! You beat me!"
If he knew her, and he knew her, she was trying to find a way around killing the rebels. She didn't believe in collateral damages. If it were up to her, none of them would die and the familiars would just surrender. Fat chance of that happening. There were going to be casualties in this war, they were going to be casualties of war.
He slowed down as he approached their unit and enhanced his hearing to listen to the three heartbeats, Max's, Ray's and his unborn son. He smiled as Max instructed Ray to go wash his hands. He could easily picture Max in the kitchen, which had surprised him the first time it had happened. In Terminal City, they had tried, except during her heat, to keep things as "cool" as they could. As a result, they hadn't lived under the same roof. Living with Max had opened his eyes on the transgenic. Seeing Max cooking, tucking his son to bed (that he had witnessed beforehand), enjoying her food (that was one of his favorite things to watch her do), doing their laundry (when it was her turn), it was impossible to consider them, less than human, and they were more deserving of life than men or for that matter, familiars that he knew. When Cameron dumped them in the unit, he didn't really know how things were going to progress between them. They had pretended to be a married couple but living together was something else. In Terminal City, they had separate quarters though he or Ray had rarely spend their time away from Max's place. In the rebel stronghold, they were giving a family unit : a small but comfortable two bedrooms unit on one of the housing levels. Surprisingly, they had settled in a well organized routine. Some things required some quick talking and compromises but they hadn't encountered a "deal breaker". Yet.
He opened the door, and went straight to the kitchen.
"Here your salt, my lady." he went on and added. "For someone who is used to like on the bare necessities, you seem to enjoy the ammenities here. Bath, salt...What's next?"
She humphed. "I'll have you know I have always been a bath person."
He smirked. "I know." His smirk turned into a smile as she blushed. He loved making her blush.
She huffed and opened her mouth to reply but stop herself short as she heard Ray in the hall.
"Hey Dad!"
Ames rubbed Ray's head. "Are those hands clean?" he asked to make small talk.
Ray huffed, and he recognize the gesture in Max. "It's not like I'm gonna die of the flu dad."
The three of them worked effortlessly together to set the table. They were family, his family. And he was going to leave them in just a few weeks. He looked up and saw Max pointedly watching him. Telling him with her eyes "see what you're giving up" but what she didn't understand was that he couldn't let her go into battle without him. It was not about not trusting her people. He knew that Joshua or Alec would have her back, but he was willing to lay down his life for her. And trusting the rebels didn't come naturally for him. He had to be the one to cover her back. He had to be the one making sure that she would live to see another day and to protect his sons. He was aware of risks and he was going through it with both eyes open. He was afraid of doing something really stupid if he wasn't there for her. He needed to be there so that he could feel some measure of control over something that was uncontrollable.
They were the reason he was going to fight so he returned her stare and tried to convey some reassurance without succeeding. He was used to function on cold hard facts. Fact one: there was definite possiblity that he would die. Fact two: There was no way he was letting anyone else but him come with Max, fight at her side and protect her. He had to go because she was family, and unlike his father, he didn't abandon his family.
